Caller or Guest (unspecified) - John from Colorado

Hi there, Oprah. Hey there, Jillian. Hey. Hey, Jillian. I've been reading your book and it's really been great so far. A nice experience sort of towards improving my journey and finding a great relationship. And so I'm a professional skier, professional mountain guide, author, keynote speaker and entrepreneur here in Colorado.

It's a good workout. Yeah.

Yeah. Es ist ein fantastischer Workout. Ich bin seit ungefähr zwei Jahren Single. Ich hatte ein paar Beziehungen, die ich vorher hatte, seit ungefähr zwei Jahren. Und seitdem, weil ich Single bin, habe ich wirklich Zeit für mich selbst genommen. Ich reise viel, suche Abenteuer, lehne mich wirklich in meine Karriere ein und reise viel über die Welt. Manchmal oft zu einem Fall.

Ich reise wirklich exzessiv und besuche die Welt und versuche Erlebnisse, aber ich verbringe auch viel Zeit mit meiner Familie hier in der Valle, wo alle meine Brüder sind und meine Eltern leben, also sind wir alle sehr nah hier. Und nur recently, weil ich das gemacht habe, habe ich wieder getreut, weil ich von meiner letzten Beziehung heilt, also weiß ich, dass ich bereit bin.

But it has been challenging. I've done a few meet-ups and a few dates, but through those dates and those experiences, I've kind of felt nothing. And I sort of miss that sort of genuine connection or that genuine fire that comes along with meeting somebody new and the excitement that comes along with that. I just kind of haven't found that or haven't felt that.

And I tend to be very picky, though, right? And... So I sort of feel like is my pickiness mean that I'm sort of my own worst enemy. You know, I want to want to meet somebody great, feel that excitement, go deep, get vulnerable, do all the important things and get into a great relationship. But I just and I know I'm enough, but I just don't know if maybe I'm not ready or if I'm not feeling it.

And I just I don't feel anything. So, you know, what do you think? And that's sort of my question is, is, you know. Is being picky and waiting a good thing? What are your thoughts on all this?

I think novelty and, you know, my job is really, can be stressful. I've actually summited Everest four times, Mount Everest, and I guide clients there.

Yeah, I mean, I tend to actually, believe it or not, be very laid back and sort of patient because of what I do for a living. Oh, I believe it. But when that gets clashed with somebody who does have the excitement and the energy, which I thrive on, I think that's caused some problems in the past. And I kind of figure out how to navigate that moving forward.

But also at times if I, yeah, like I've always said to my friends or even my friends or my family say to me, because they know me very well, that I probably need to date somebody who's also not normal. Like somebody that, let's say, has a 9-to-5 job might not fit for me.

But, you know, somebody that lives a life of similar adventure or a non-traditional job where they can work remotely has been a fit for me.

That lands pretty well. Because it's true. I mean, a lot of people sort of look at me and say, well, you're doing this, you're doing that. You've been up on Everest three or four times. Like, you know, what does your wife think of this? And it's like, well, first of all, I don't have a wife yet.

But at the same time, I know people in my same profession that do have families and I know it's possible.

Und das ist der Ausdruck davon. Ich muss ehrlich sagen, ich habe den Buch Jillian sehr genossen. Und der letzte Kapitel hat mich wirklich mitgelebt, besonders darüber, dass ich mich wirklich in die Zeit nehme, um zu entdecken, wer ich bin. Und ich fühle mich an dieser Stelle in meinem Leben, wo ich ehrlich gesagt bereit bin, mich zu verabschieden.

Ich möchte nur wissen, aus Ihrer Perspektive, für jemanden, der sich nicht lange verabschiedet hat, How should I be looking at these lessons? Should I be looking at it through a different lens?

I feel like I can. I definitely feel like I can. I think it just becomes a little bit daunting. I've tried different mediums. I feel like I'm more of an in-person connection versus online. So I would be happy and open to exploring different mediums. And I can definitely start with being friends.

I think for me, it's easy to create connections with people, but it's getting started that I'm really having a challenge with.

Okay, I'm ready.

Different cities right now. I'm in New York, he's in Las Vegas. Yeah, Jillian saved our marriage in so many ways. When we started working with Jill, it was very much either we go for divorce or we try to fix this. We were that dire. It was kind of hit ahead in that sense. And so when we started working with Jill, she did so much work on us really becoming a team.

But I think for me personally, one of the biggest things we worked on was taking responsibility for my part in our issues instead of just putting a lot of the blame on Mike and really working on ourselves separately to then come back together and work on our marriage together. And I think that was something that I never really thought about. I just thought, we just need to fix this.

He needs to fix these things versus... We need to work on ourselves separately too.

And Mike, what was it like for you? Yeah, I mean, it started with that. As we were working through it, it started peeling off a lot of layers that I kind of swept under the rug. It came from a pretty hairy divorce that I never thought impacted me all that much. I was never hurting for anything, but I was neglected completely. viel, emotional.

Und ich habe das in der Beziehung in einer Art und Weise, die ich nie wirklich verstanden habe, bis wir mit Jill angefangen haben, und wir haben die Lagen zurückgeschnitten. Und dann habe ich angefangen, eine Art persönliche Wachstumsschleife. Und das ist, als Jill und ich zusammen mehr zusammengearbeitet haben. Hast du heute eine Frage?

Ja, ich habe, jetzt, dass wir zwei Jungs haben, die 14 Monate alt sind, What would your advice be on prioritizing our connection, our sex life, our intimacy to make sure we're staying connected in a good way?

Not that.

Ich denke, für uns ist es schwieriger, wir sind jeden Tag mit ihnen dabei, also separat von ihnen. Das ist der erste Mal, dass ich weg bin. Ich bin zwei Tage vorbeigelaufen und wir sind seit mehr als sechs, acht Stunden weg.

I think that's a great idea, actually. When we do go out and we do hire a babysitter, we'll go get dinner and we'll rush home. And we're starting, now that they're getting a little older, we're starting to trust people more and things like that. So I think that's a great idea that we didn't think of.

Es beginnt mit dir.