Camila Cabello
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
When I was 15 to 19, it was like guys that, you know, like not a lot, like a few, a few. And it was very like we saw each other maybe once or twice a year. I really started dating and whatever, like probably when I was like 20.
When I was 15 to 19, it was like guys that, you know, like not a lot, like a few, a few. And it was very like we saw each other maybe once or twice a year. I really started dating and whatever, like probably when I was like 20.
Yeah. Because before that, it was just like the group was like all encompassing. That was your relationship. That was my relationship.
Yeah. Because before that, it was just like the group was like all encompassing. That was your relationship. That was my relationship.
I definitely think you need to do wigs because it's such a big change. But I do feel like everybody should do it. I mean, not everybody should do it, but it's like a fun, like, I don't know, it brings out a different part of your personality. It's like, I don't know, it's kind of like a YOLO. Like, I don't know, just like, fuck it.
I definitely think you need to do wigs because it's such a big change. But I do feel like everybody should do it. I mean, not everybody should do it, but it's like a fun, like, I don't know, it brings out a different part of your personality. It's like, I don't know, it's kind of like a YOLO. Like, I don't know, just like, fuck it.
My first love was... I feel like I've had a few, maybe a couple great loves.
My first love was... I feel like I've had a few, maybe a couple great loves.
like really in love. I don't know. It's like, there's so many different connotations to in love though. Cause sometimes it's like, who was I happiest with or who made me the most devastated? And sometimes it's like, God, what even is the right definition of in love?
like really in love. I don't know. It's like, there's so many different connotations to in love though. Cause sometimes it's like, who was I happiest with or who made me the most devastated? And sometimes it's like, God, what even is the right definition of in love?
Cause there were people that there was, you know, one person that made me the happiest and there was the other person that made me the most sick and crazy. Right. And I don't know what is the definition of like what's the most in love, you know?
Cause there were people that there was, you know, one person that made me the happiest and there was the other person that made me the most sick and crazy. Right. And I don't know what is the definition of like what's the most in love, you know?
is it okay if i take please i take should i take a sip cheers cheers cheers we're drinking wine okay i need a little bit of wine because we were talking about i know i don't really do stuff like this so i definitely was like a little nervous but i'm also i'm really excited for like my fans i feel like they like haven't seen me be a person in a while okay cheers cheers cheers cheers
is it okay if i take please i take should i take a sip cheers cheers cheers we're drinking wine okay i need a little bit of wine because we were talking about i know i don't really do stuff like this so i definitely was like a little nervous but i'm also i'm really excited for like my fans i feel like they like haven't seen me be a person in a while okay cheers cheers cheers cheers
There is a part of me that still... It depends what mood I'm in. Sometimes I really want peace and happiness. And other times I still miss and love that chaotic, sickening feeling. And I don't know what that is. I have to explore it further in therapy. But...
There is a part of me that still... It depends what mood I'm in. Sometimes I really want peace and happiness. And other times I still miss and love that chaotic, sickening feeling. And I don't know what that is. I have to explore it further in therapy. But...
there is something like so kind of like addictive about about that and and you know it's interesting because it's like you know it's like the classic like nervous system quote like whatever i mean actually i don't know why i said classic because it's not a classic classic it's relatable you know that that quote is like find someone that's good for your nervous system yes a lot of the times the people that are do make you feel fucking sick with love are not good for your nervous system and
there is something like so kind of like addictive about about that and and you know it's interesting because it's like you know it's like the classic like nervous system quote like whatever i mean actually i don't know why i said classic because it's not a classic classic it's relatable you know that that quote is like find someone that's good for your nervous system yes a lot of the times the people that are do make you feel fucking sick with love are not good for your nervous system and
But it feels so good and terrible at the same time.
But it feels so good and terrible at the same time.
Because when it's good, it's like, you could cut my leg off today. I will be smiling all teeth.
Because when it's good, it's like, you could cut my leg off today. I will be smiling all teeth.
And it really changes, I feel like, as you age. I feel like when I was younger, so many relationships were like my projection of people in my head. And I really romanticized the shit out of them. And I really took a little thing that they said and I just ran with that.
And it really changes, I feel like, as you age. I feel like when I was younger, so many relationships were like my projection of people in my head. And I really romanticized the shit out of them. And I really took a little thing that they said and I just ran with that.
You know, but now I find that it's like the people that you meet that are like really exciting and how you have real chemistry with it's really is rare and hard to find.
You know, but now I find that it's like the people that you meet that are like really exciting and how you have real chemistry with it's really is rare and hard to find.
I am not a sober and what sucks is that I hear that that's the healthiest thing it's like I've heard podcasts or where people are like if you kind of like this person and if you're curious just go on a second date and I'm just the kind of person that's like if I am not like going to sleep like wanting to have you inside me like I I get it honestly that's extreme maybe not that but if I'm not if I'm not like if I don't leave the date and I'm like
I am not a sober and what sucks is that I hear that that's the healthiest thing it's like I've heard podcasts or where people are like if you kind of like this person and if you're curious just go on a second date and I'm just the kind of person that's like if I am not like going to sleep like wanting to have you inside me like I I get it honestly that's extreme maybe not that but if I'm not if I'm not like if I don't leave the date and I'm like
Okay. I try to really prioritize that part of my life.
Okay. I try to really prioritize that part of my life.
Because it just makes me feel... it's just so fun yeah I love I honestly love being single I love it but I also I've been in relationships for a lot of my since I started dating like since I started dating when I was 20 I was in long-term relationships a lot so it feels fun to just like get to know people and like
Because it just makes me feel... it's just so fun yeah I love I honestly love being single I love it but I also I've been in relationships for a lot of my since I started dating like since I started dating when I was 20 I was in long-term relationships a lot so it feels fun to just like get to know people and like
And you start to realize there also there are other things that are important, like you can go deeper. And that's surprising. And, you know, at the end of the day, it's like we're people that are I really believe like we're never just one person. We are constantly changing. Like Matt could be a different person in two years. He he will be a new person. Yeah. And so there's always something new.
And you start to realize there also there are other things that are important, like you can go deeper. And that's surprising. And, you know, at the end of the day, it's like we're people that are I really believe like we're never just one person. We are constantly changing. Like Matt could be a different person in two years. He he will be a new person. Yeah. And so there's always something new.
Yeah, that's a good point. But I do feel like I'm like, I think also because I was just in like a heavy like, like, you know, like writing process, writing stage. It's really experiences. I'm just like so hungry for experiences. Like the more experiences. The better.
Yeah, that's a good point. But I do feel like I'm like, I think also because I was just in like a heavy like, like, you know, like writing process, writing stage. It's really experiences. I'm just like so hungry for experiences. Like the more experiences. The better.
oh god oh wait the whole internet just broke so it was vacation plus some work but I will say you know what I love that man I love him we all love that man we all love him right the internet really loved him recently yeah yeah I don't know what you're talking about okay so have you ever had can we confirm or no um have I ever had what like a little thing with Drake a beautiful artistic collaboration with him
oh god oh wait the whole internet just broke so it was vacation plus some work but I will say you know what I love that man I love him we all love that man we all love him right the internet really loved him recently yeah yeah I don't know what you're talking about okay so have you ever had can we confirm or no um have I ever had what like a little thing with Drake a beautiful artistic collaboration with him
But honestly, I haven't, I haven't drank in a second. I've been working so much. I really, I'm like, I feel like I kind of deserve, you have had a really busy schedule too. You told me yesterday.
But honestly, I haven't, I haven't drank in a second. I've been working so much. I really, I'm like, I feel like I kind of deserve, you have had a really busy schedule too. You told me yesterday.
Yes. I may or may not have.
Yes. I may or may not have.
Okay, first of all, we did not go on vacation. This was like a homey, like, friend's trip. Okay, so let me break this down for y'all, okay? So...
Okay, first of all, we did not go on vacation. This was like a homey, like, friend's trip. Okay, so let me break this down for y'all, okay? So...
basically drake was a big love him love him love love him as an artist for real me too love him like right yes he's the best yes who the goat um he i love him so much and i really listened to him a lot during my writing process during my album and i really felt like he would like my album
basically drake was a big love him love him love love him as an artist for real me too love him like right yes he's the best yes who the goat um he i love him so much and i really listened to him a lot during my writing process during my album and i really felt like he would like my album
And so I DMed him and I was like, hey, I really want to play. I was like, you know what? I'm just going to put it out there.
And so I DMed him and I was like, hey, I really want to play. I was like, you know what? I'm just going to put it out there.
We gotta make shit happen.
We gotta make shit happen.
We gotta make shit happen. So I DM'd him and I was like, I would love to play you my album. I honestly feel like you would really love it. Because, you know, because I listen to him a lot and I just feel like we're, I really do feel like musically in a lot of ways we like the same things. And I feel, yeah. So we hung out. I played him my album.
We gotta make shit happen. So I DM'd him and I was like, I would love to play you my album. I honestly feel like you would really love it. Because, you know, because I listen to him a lot and I just feel like we're, I really do feel like musically in a lot of ways we like the same things. And I feel, yeah. So we hung out. I played him my album.
He loved it. Okay. And I thought that he would. And I was like so excited. It was also such a surreal moment for me to like play Drake my songs and like, you know, that's another one of those things that you're just like, wow, I would have never expected that. That this would happen. A dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. I remember being there and being like, wow, this is so fucking sick.
He loved it. Okay. And I thought that he would. And I was like so excited. It was also such a surreal moment for me to like play Drake my songs and like, you know, that's another one of those things that you're just like, wow, I would have never expected that. That this would happen. A dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. I remember being there and being like, wow, this is so fucking sick.
Like what are we doing?
Like what are we doing?
And he's so generous and so kind. But anyway, so I didn't just go on vacation with him. It was like a vacation work thing. But honestly, I will say... I love him. And that has been such a fun part about this whole experience.
And he's so generous and so kind. But anyway, so I didn't just go on vacation with him. It was like a vacation work thing. But honestly, I will say... I love him. And that has been such a fun part about this whole experience.
Like this has been the most, it's been a really insular process in terms of like me taking it back to basics in terms of like me, like really focusing on like, you know, my craft of writing or whatever. But at the same time, literally I could chug this whole thing right now. But like huge toast to that. And he's amazing. And I love him. Let's do a toast to Drake. Toast. To Drake.
Like this has been the most, it's been a really insular process in terms of like me taking it back to basics in terms of like me, like really focusing on like, you know, my craft of writing or whatever. But at the same time, literally I could chug this whole thing right now. But like huge toast to that. And he's amazing. And I love him. Let's do a toast to Drake. Toast. To Drake.
To Champagne Poppy. God bless. We all love you. God bless. We really do love you.
To Champagne Poppy. God bless. We all love you. God bless. We really do love you.
As far as looking for something serious, I don't know. I have phases. Like, maybe, like, two weeks ago, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I really just – I want to really have something real with someone. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready for something real again. And then I am, like, you know – talking and like meeting someone new and I'm like, oh my God, I love this. This is so fun.
As far as looking for something serious, I don't know. I have phases. Like, maybe, like, two weeks ago, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I really just – I want to really have something real with someone. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready for something real again. And then I am, like, you know – talking and like meeting someone new and I'm like, oh my God, I love this. This is so fun.
I don't want anything serious right now. So, it really, it's like, it's different, it's different phases. I really think I'm like, there's so much going on right now that If it was somebody serious, I would really have to connect with them on a really deep level, which I always hope it is. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. Like I love my fun, but I'm a hopeless romantic for sure.
I don't want anything serious right now. So, it really, it's like, it's different, it's different phases. I really think I'm like, there's so much going on right now that If it was somebody serious, I would really have to connect with them on a really deep level, which I always hope it is. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. Like I love my fun, but I'm a hopeless romantic for sure.
And I literally, if I have like a great kiss with somebody, I'm like, I would die for you.
And I literally, if I have like a great kiss with somebody, I'm like, I would die for you.
I do like a little bit, not too much, but just a little bit of like a, You know, there's like maybe a few...
I do like a little bit, not too much, but just a little bit of like a, You know, there's like maybe a few...
vibes yes there's a few vibes you know and I think there's there's a different level of like for some people roster is like the intimacy is like maybe sleeping with all them that's that's too much for me it's more kind of like vibes and and talking hanging out whatever but I can't be serious at least at this point with more than one person I completely agree I feel like when you're in the single stage it's helpful to kind of just like
vibes yes there's a few vibes you know and I think there's there's a different level of like for some people roster is like the intimacy is like maybe sleeping with all them that's that's too much for me it's more kind of like vibes and and talking hanging out whatever but I can't be serious at least at this point with more than one person I completely agree I feel like when you're in the single stage it's helpful to kind of just like
You're fucking talking. Exactly. If it's late night till 3 a.m. and we have this insane connection and I'm like, oh, you're like – It's giving father of my children vibe. Like, I will fly anywhere. Like, whatever. Then I will do that. But if it's like, I liked him and he was cute and that was cute. Then it's like, I'll see you when I see you. Wait, have you ever flown a guy somewhere?
You're fucking talking. Exactly. If it's late night till 3 a.m. and we have this insane connection and I'm like, oh, you're like – It's giving father of my children vibe. Like, I will fly anywhere. Like, whatever. Then I will do that. But if it's like, I liked him and he was cute and that was cute. Then it's like, I'll see you when I see you. Wait, have you ever flown a guy somewhere?
Only in, like, relationship vibes. No. I mean, I haven't, like, flown them. Got it. They... fly to the front no yeah I haven't piloted them to my hotel room but I mean like they have flown to me yeah but I haven't been like let me just get you a flight yeah I'm not a daddy yeah oh my god yeah I know what gives you the ick to be honest one of the things that would give me the ick is I don't
Only in, like, relationship vibes. No. I mean, I haven't, like, flown them. Got it. They... fly to the front no yeah I haven't piloted them to my hotel room but I mean like they have flown to me yeah but I haven't been like let me just get you a flight yeah I'm not a daddy yeah oh my god yeah I know what gives you the ick to be honest one of the things that would give me the ick is I don't
No, same. If I'm making decisions all day and I have to be like on my fucking like whatever. Daddy shit. Unironic daddy boss girl shit. You better come correct when it's time. And let me just not think about anything. Like, I want you to like, fuck. I want to let go and surrender. Right. What is your philosophy around ghosting? Are we ghosting people? Are we not? No, I don't like that.
No, same. If I'm making decisions all day and I have to be like on my fucking like whatever. Daddy shit. Unironic daddy boss girl shit. You better come correct when it's time. And let me just not think about anything. Like, I want you to like, fuck. I want to let go and surrender. Right. What is your philosophy around ghosting? Are we ghosting people? Are we not? No, I don't like that.
I mean, I actually had a conversation with my friends the other day because I went on a date with this guy.
I mean, I actually had a conversation with my friends the other day because I went on a date with this guy.
I think it was just I needed to kind of protect myself from – I actually wouldn't even say protect myself. I think I just, I needed to just be a human being. I needed to be a person. I needed to kind of step away from being a public persona and just work on myself from the inside out as opposed to like the outside in. I mean, I've been in the public eye since I was 15 years old.
I think it was just I needed to kind of protect myself from – I actually wouldn't even say protect myself. I think I just, I needed to just be a human being. I needed to be a person. I needed to kind of step away from being a public persona and just work on myself from the inside out as opposed to like the outside in. I mean, I've been in the public eye since I was 15 years old.
my god yeah okay and so but they're not like right he wasn't famous why did it not go well it was just so boring like there was no spark no i was like i was thinking about every other ex yeah like i was just not happen that's the fucking worst when you're like or just or just the number one on the roster oh
my god yeah okay and so but they're not like right he wasn't famous why did it not go well it was just so boring like there was no spark no i was like i was thinking about every other ex yeah like i was just not happen that's the fucking worst when you're like or just or just the number one on the roster oh
Like, you're like, I'm just thinking about number one. And you're like, you're like, get out. Just leave. Yeah. But you went through the whole fucking date. I honestly, this is actually crazy. So I had my, I was hiding my hair. Were you wearing like a beanie? I was wearing a black wig and. No, did. I was just like, my head really hurts.
Like, you're like, I'm just thinking about number one. And you're like, you're like, get out. Just leave. Yeah. But you went through the whole fucking date. I honestly, this is actually crazy. So I had my, I was hiding my hair. Were you wearing like a beanie? I was wearing a black wig and. No, did. I was just like, my head really hurts.
What did he say? He was like, yeah, of course, let's go.
What did he say? He was like, yeah, of course, let's go.
Yeah, I feel bad. I really hope he doesn't see this.
Yeah, I feel bad. I really hope he doesn't see this.
There's no way. I don't think he'll see this.
There's no way. I don't think he'll see this.
It wasn't that it was boring. I just was like, my heart wasn't in it. It wasn't in it. I think that's okay. My heart was with someone else.
It wasn't that it was boring. I just was like, my heart wasn't in it. It wasn't in it. I think that's okay. My heart was with someone else.
It wasn't it. That doesn't mean he's not an amazing person. It wasn't a fit. But I am sensitive about ghosting. Because I feel like you have to be kind to people. However, I didn't text him back. Because I was like, hmm. I don't know. I don't know. Honestly, and if somebody were to say right now, hey... And my friend actually, they gave me good advice. They were like, don't text him back.
It wasn't it. That doesn't mean he's not an amazing person. It wasn't a fit. But I am sensitive about ghosting. Because I feel like you have to be kind to people. However, I didn't text him back. Because I was like, hmm. I don't know. I don't know. Honestly, and if somebody were to say right now, hey... And my friend actually, they gave me good advice. They were like, don't text him back.
If he keeps texting you, then say, hey, honestly, it really wasn't a fit, but it was so nice to meet you. Wish you well. But he didn't keep texting, so I was like, I'll leave it. But... If things had gone on, like, further, then I'm not a fan of the ghosting thing. I just feel like it's, like, why hurt people? I agree. Just be nice. Don't lead them on. I agree.
If he keeps texting you, then say, hey, honestly, it really wasn't a fit, but it was so nice to meet you. Wish you well. But he didn't keep texting, so I was like, I'll leave it. But... If things had gone on, like, further, then I'm not a fan of the ghosting thing. I just feel like it's, like, why hurt people? I agree. Just be nice. Don't lead them on. I agree.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
Like, she's not into it. And also, it's, like, it's one date. Right.
Like, she's not into it. And also, it's, like, it's one date. Right.
yeah like we didn't like have exactly three months together 100% that's crazy when people do that if somebody if I was with somebody no and they ghosted me after we were intimate or after we whatever I would be like you're just like that's a very unkind thing to do and I wouldn't want to be with somebody like that anyway what is the biggest red flag that you've ever willingly ignored so many I mean right like so many
yeah like we didn't like have exactly three months together 100% that's crazy when people do that if somebody if I was with somebody no and they ghosted me after we were intimate or after we whatever I would be like you're just like that's a very unkind thing to do and I wouldn't want to be with somebody like that anyway what is the biggest red flag that you've ever willingly ignored so many I mean right like so many
Yeah, I think that's a big red flag is like how you feel. Like, that's just such a big temperature check in relationships. Like, I've been in relationships before where I'm like, if I am...
Yeah, I think that's a big red flag is like how you feel. Like, that's just such a big temperature check in relationships. Like, I've been in relationships before where I'm like, if I am...
miserable for this long yeah there is just something off and some every time I've been like it's me it's me it's me it's me oh my god oh my god it's my what is it what am I oh my god blah blah blah but it's like a lot of the times it's like it's It's just not right.
miserable for this long yeah there is just something off and some every time I've been like it's me it's me it's me it's me oh my god oh my god it's my what is it what am I oh my god blah blah blah but it's like a lot of the times it's like it's It's just not right.
So I feel like so much of, especially the first maybe seven or eight years, I was like kind of figuring myself out at the same time as like trying to process and take in what other people thought, even if I'm not necessarily reading it directly, you just kind of subconsciously are trying to figure out what to do with all of that.
So I feel like so much of, especially the first maybe seven or eight years, I was like kind of figuring myself out at the same time as like trying to process and take in what other people thought, even if I'm not necessarily reading it directly, you just kind of subconsciously are trying to figure out what to do with all of that.
It's not right. It's like if I feel so much better when I'm not with you and then when I'm with you, I feel miserable and overthinking and anxious every time, then we are just not right. And then I think you kind of keep going because you have this like –
It's not right. It's like if I feel so much better when I'm not with you and then when I'm with you, I feel miserable and overthinking and anxious every time, then we are just not right. And then I think you kind of keep going because you have this like –
hope or some ideal of what the relationship is we can work on it we can this we can this we can that and it's like sometimes it's like you have to temperature check like yeah just like it's not right it's not right have you ever been cheated on i actually i'm lucky to say i have not been cheated on it's amazing i know that's amazing maybe i i really don't think this counts but i was like 17 talking to a guy but i don't think that counts have you ever had someone go through your phone oh
hope or some ideal of what the relationship is we can work on it we can this we can this we can that and it's like sometimes it's like you have to temperature check like yeah just like it's not right it's not right have you ever been cheated on i actually i'm lucky to say i have not been cheated on it's amazing i know that's amazing maybe i i really don't think this counts but i was like 17 talking to a guy but i don't think that counts have you ever had someone go through your phone oh
I had deleted some texts.
I had deleted some texts.
And they were like, why did you delete this? Text message history. Got it. With another person. And I was like, My phone deletes things. I was like young and... You were being a little shady.
And they were like, why did you delete this? Text message history. Got it. With another person. And I was like, My phone deletes things. I was like young and... You were being a little shady.
Okay, okay. For sure.
Okay, okay. For sure.
That's such a bad lie. It's amazing. I was like, I've never been... To this day, I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. You're like... I was like, my phone just like, I delete messages, like whole complete messages. I don't, I don't know. But I honestly, I broke up with him literally three days after that.
That's such a bad lie. It's amazing. I was like, I've never been... To this day, I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. You're like... I was like, my phone just like, I delete messages, like whole complete messages. I don't, I don't know. But I honestly, I broke up with him literally three days after that.
But you know, shit happens.
But you know, shit happens.
Oh, my God. All the time. Like not all the time, but like I love this TikTok that I see. It's like like your friend is like you like show them like a terrible text. And it's like, and what did you respond to him? And you're like, like when my friends are always like my friends are cold as fuck.
Oh, my God. All the time. Like not all the time, but like I love this TikTok that I see. It's like like your friend is like you like show them like a terrible text. And it's like, and what did you respond to him? And you're like, like when my friends are always like my friends are cold as fuck.
hold hearted those are good friends sometimes they're like dude how could you text him back don't text him don't do that emoji don't I'm like oh my god I didn't know you guys were mean but they're very but it's good they're keeping you in line oh my god yeah because I'm like the opposite I'm like I'm a dumbass I get it I get it I'm an idiot I was just going with it yeah what is your biggest insecurity oh
hold hearted those are good friends sometimes they're like dude how could you text him back don't text him don't do that emoji don't I'm like oh my god I didn't know you guys were mean but they're very but it's good they're keeping you in line oh my god yeah because I'm like the opposite I'm like I'm a dumbass I get it I get it I'm an idiot I was just going with it yeah what is your biggest insecurity oh
My biggest insecurity, like internal, external, whatever.
My biggest insecurity, like internal, external, whatever.
So I don't know, I think I needed some time and some space to be like, who am I? What's important to me? What are, not only what are my, my values in that sense, but also like, what are my hobbies? What do I like to do? What's my taste in art? What kind of people do I like hanging out with? What kind of people do I not like hanging out with?
So I don't know, I think I needed some time and some space to be like, who am I? What's important to me? What are, not only what are my, my values in that sense, but also like, what are my hobbies? What do I like to do? What's my taste in art? What kind of people do I like hanging out with? What kind of people do I not like hanging out with?
This is just, this is probably the wine too. And I saw this Jodie Foster like interview. Like I was reading it yesterday. Congrats on your New York Times article, by the way. Thank you. I didn't read it because I didn't want to make myself nervous before the interview. But I love the New York Times. And I was like, oh, my God. There she is.
This is just, this is probably the wine too. And I saw this Jodie Foster like interview. Like I was reading it yesterday. Congrats on your New York Times article, by the way. Thank you. I didn't read it because I didn't want to make myself nervous before the interview. But I love the New York Times. And I was like, oh, my God. There she is.
But I saw this one New York Times or New York or whatever, like Jodie Foster interview. And she was like, for somebody who values privacy so much, I really want to be understood. And that really resonated with me. I feel like my insecurity is like... I don't know, some like childhood thing of like being like, I don't care if people get me. I don't care if people, whatever.
But I saw this one New York Times or New York or whatever, like Jodie Foster interview. And she was like, for somebody who values privacy so much, I really want to be understood. And that really resonated with me. I feel like my insecurity is like... I don't know, some like childhood thing of like being like, I don't care if people get me. I don't care if people, whatever.
I'm just going to be myself. But at the same time, really wanting people to understand me and not dislike me or whatever. So... I don't really know. I think it's, like, a general insecurity of, like, probably, like, being seen and then not loved or whatever.
I'm just going to be myself. But at the same time, really wanting people to understand me and not dislike me or whatever. So... I don't really know. I think it's, like, a general insecurity of, like, probably, like, being seen and then not loved or whatever.
At the same time, it's, like...
At the same time, it's, like...
I honestly love morning sex. I like both, but there's, and my favorite is actually like, I love like an afternoon vibe because it feels so like European. It feels so like you're like not working and it feels like so primal in a way. Like I don't have to work. Right. Let's just like, let's just like eat fruit. And like, and coitus.
I honestly love morning sex. I like both, but there's, and my favorite is actually like, I love like an afternoon vibe because it feels so like European. It feels so like you're like not working and it feels like so primal in a way. Like I don't have to work. Right. Let's just like, let's just like eat fruit. And like, and coitus.
I prefer him coming back to mine for sure. Biggest turn off in the bedroom. I don't like, like silence and like, Like, just, like, no passion. Yes. I need, like… Going through the motions. I hate going through the motions. I'm like, why are we even doing this? Right.
I prefer him coming back to mine for sure. Biggest turn off in the bedroom. I don't like, like silence and like, Like, just, like, no passion. Yes. I need, like… Going through the motions. I hate going through the motions. I'm like, why are we even doing this? Right.
Why are you saying things to me? Like, let's, like… You know what I mean? Yes. I get it. Yeah. To me, I'm like, I would rather not have this. Favorite sex position? It depends on the vibe and it depends on the energy of whatever's happening in that moment. Like, there's, like, in love… Mm-hmm. Sex. And then there's like kind of freaky vibes.
Why are you saying things to me? Like, let's, like… You know what I mean? Yes. I get it. Yeah. To me, I'm like, I would rather not have this. Favorite sex position? It depends on the vibe and it depends on the energy of whatever's happening in that moment. Like, there's, like, in love… Mm-hmm. Sex. And then there's like kind of freaky vibes.
You know, I think different different strokes for different times.
You know, I think different different strokes for different times.
And I feel like that's kind of the journey I've been on for the past few years. And it's been really like, it's been really nice and, and, and healthy for me. I feel like I really kind of
And I feel like that's kind of the journey I've been on for the past few years. And it's been really like, it's been really nice and, and, and healthy for me. I feel like I really kind of
I'm personally, I think it's known, I'm a fan. I support it. Supported it in the past. Cheers. Cheers. What about you? I think it's so, I personally think it's helpful. It's helpful because I am not a person, you can't forbid things from me because I will want to do it more.
I'm personally, I think it's known, I'm a fan. I support it. Supported it in the past. Cheers. Cheers. What about you? I think it's so, I personally think it's helpful. It's helpful because I am not a person, you can't forbid things from me because I will want to do it more.
If I tell myself, some of my friends are really good at that. They're like, well, not going to text him because blah, blah, blah. I'm not like that. I'm like, if I want to text him, I'm going to text him.
If I tell myself, some of my friends are really good at that. They're like, well, not going to text him because blah, blah, blah. I'm not like that. I'm like, if I want to text him, I'm going to text him.
You need to know that it's not going to work. And it needs to be on your terms. And then you need to be over it and you need to be like, I did it. And I've, I know, I know. I know. And I know.
You need to know that it's not going to work. And it needs to be on your terms. And then you need to be over it and you need to be like, I did it. And I've, I know, I know. I know. And I know.
Yeah. Yeah. And you know, it's crazy because- I just like, I'm kind of like impulsive in that way, I would say. Like I feel like if I feel it, I say it. And I'm not really good at not doing that, like I said, because then the worst place for it to live in is my mind. And then I'm like, you know, Ryan Gosling in the notebook building a house for this person.
Yeah. Yeah. And you know, it's crazy because- I just like, I'm kind of like impulsive in that way, I would say. Like I feel like if I feel it, I say it. And I'm not really good at not doing that, like I said, because then the worst place for it to live in is my mind. And then I'm like, you know, Ryan Gosling in the notebook building a house for this person.
So I would rather say it and see what happens and then wake up the next day and find out that it's been heavily documented. I just like went, I opted for that route. But, you know, but it is what it is. It was a great route. It was a fun time. It was a fun moment. And, you know, and I will always care about him and love him. He's such a good person. Yeah.
So I would rather say it and see what happens and then wake up the next day and find out that it's been heavily documented. I just like went, I opted for that route. But, you know, but it is what it is. It was a great route. It was a fun time. It was a fun moment. And, you know, and I will always care about him and love him. He's such a good person. Yeah.
And I'm lucky, you know, because some people have exes that are awful and, you know, and he is not. He's a really kind, good person.
And I'm lucky, you know, because some people have exes that are awful and, you know, and he is not. He's a really kind, good person.
I think it was just like... it wasn't even like a decision. I think you just kind of are like, yeah, this doesn't really, it's not a, it's not a fit. It doesn't feel right. And I think luckily, you know, I was in a place in my life where it took me less time to realize that. Like it took us both less time like to be like, this doesn't feel right.
I think it was just like... it wasn't even like a decision. I think you just kind of are like, yeah, this doesn't really, it's not a, it's not a fit. It doesn't feel right. And I think luckily, you know, I was in a place in my life where it took me less time to realize that. Like it took us both less time like to be like, this doesn't feel right.
And we don't really need to like try so hard to like make it work. Like it's all good. Like this is not feeling good. Like let's be friends. I love you. I love you. It's all good. Let's move on. You go do your thing. You go do mine. Become the person that, you know, that you're becoming and I'll root for you. And that's it.
And we don't really need to like try so hard to like make it work. Like it's all good. Like this is not feeling good. Like let's be friends. I love you. I love you. It's all good. Let's move on. You go do your thing. You go do mine. Become the person that, you know, that you're becoming and I'll root for you. And that's it.
Yeah, and I think the worst thing that you can live with is like a what if or a doubt. What is your take on the idea of right person, wrong time? Wow, that's a great question. I don't think that there is such thing. I feel like if it's the wrong time, it's not right. It doesn't matter. I think right person, wrong time is still a way of keeping yourself tied to the person.
Yeah, and I think the worst thing that you can live with is like a what if or a doubt. What is your take on the idea of right person, wrong time? Wow, that's a great question. I don't think that there is such thing. I feel like if it's the wrong time, it's not right. It doesn't matter. I think right person, wrong time is still a way of keeping yourself tied to the person.
And it's almost like right job, wrong time. It's the wrong job. Yes.
And it's almost like right job, wrong time. It's the wrong job. Yes.
Like, it's like when you say it like that, you know, you're right. There's just no such thing. Like, I feel like I really I feel like if if it's the wrong time and that makes it a person that's, I love like just the simplicity of like, it sounds so clinical and non-romantic, but like, it's just not a fit.
Like, it's like when you say it like that, you know, you're right. There's just no such thing. Like, I feel like I really I feel like if if it's the wrong time and that makes it a person that's, I love like just the simplicity of like, it sounds so clinical and non-romantic, but like, it's just not a fit.
Because he was the right person. Because there's no such, I feel like there's no such thing really. I mean, maybe there is such thing as, I mean, maybe wrong time could be classified as like long distance or you're going away or whatever. But then in that case, it's just, it's not right. Right, right.
Because he was the right person. Because there's no such, I feel like there's no such thing really. I mean, maybe there is such thing as, I mean, maybe wrong time could be classified as like long distance or you're going away or whatever. But then in that case, it's just, it's not right. Right, right.
I think it's like a long-term breakup. Yeah. I think it's really just like the where does the love go vibe. You have so much care and love for this person and it really does feel... I've luckily, up to this point in my life, I haven't experienced loss, like real loss. But it feels like loss, but that person is just still...
I think it's like a long-term breakup. Yeah. I think it's really just like the where does the love go vibe. You have so much care and love for this person and it really does feel... I've luckily, up to this point in my life, I haven't experienced loss, like real loss. But it feels like loss, but that person is just still...
It's so funny because I always say six or seven. My mom is like, you have to like pick an age. Right. Like, which was it? Yeah. I'm like, I moved when I was six or seven. And when I was six or seven, it's like, I don't want to say that.
It's so funny because I always say six or seven. My mom is like, you have to like pick an age. Right. Like, which was it? Yeah. I'm like, I moved when I was six or seven. And when I was six or seven, it's like, I don't want to say that.
out there and it takes your own restraint reminding yourself why it's not the right thing yeah to like keep you away from texting that person or or whatever and also it's like feels very out of your control because sometimes it's like i just i wanted it to be this person so bad like i wanted it to be but it's not and that feels really hard to let go like to be like
out there and it takes your own restraint reminding yourself why it's not the right thing yeah to like keep you away from texting that person or or whatever and also it's like feels very out of your control because sometimes it's like i just i wanted it to be this person so bad like i wanted it to be but it's not and that feels really hard to let go like to be like
i really wanted this to be it but the fact that it's not that i can't make this person who i wanted them to be it's tough it's really tough like you really it really feels like like uh you can't always get what you want kind of thing i do kind of love how you said that though it's so true of like where does love go when i'm thinking of like what would my answer have been i'm like kind of similar where you're like how did we love each other so much
i really wanted this to be it but the fact that it's not that i can't make this person who i wanted them to be it's tough it's really tough like you really it really feels like like uh you can't always get what you want kind of thing i do kind of love how you said that though it's so true of like where does love go when i'm thinking of like what would my answer have been i'm like kind of similar where you're like how did we love each other so much
Yeah, it's like, where does the energy go? Right. I find, like, it was so funny after, like, there's been breakups where after, I'm like, I tell my best friends, I'm like, can I just, like, hold your hand more and, like, be more, like, touchy with you? Because that's, like, a big love language for me, as you've probably seen in videos, is, like, touch, physical touch. Yeah.
Yeah, it's like, where does the energy go? Right. I find, like, it was so funny after, like, there's been breakups where after, I'm like, I tell my best friends, I'm like, can I just, like, hold your hand more and, like, be more, like, touchy with you? Because that's, like, a big love language for me, as you've probably seen in videos, is, like, touch, physical touch. Yeah.
Even like the touch starvation after and you know what I mean? It is really hard. Totally.
Even like the touch starvation after and you know what I mean? It is really hard. Totally.
And it's usually that I think for me in the past, you know, and that's where you really have to be like, I didn't get what I wanted. True. I really wanted this person to be this. I really wanted us to be this, but... It's not. Yeah, it's not.
And it's usually that I think for me in the past, you know, and that's where you really have to be like, I didn't get what I wanted. True. I really wanted this person to be this. I really wanted us to be this, but... It's not. Yeah, it's not.
My mom told me we were going to Disney World. As immigrant parents do, they lie to protect us. I love my mom so much. She's not watching, so I don't have to worry about hurting her feelings on that one. Hi, mom. Hey, mom. But yeah, she said she told me we were going to Disney World. And I was really excited until maybe a couple months passed. And I was like, wait a second.
My mom told me we were going to Disney World. As immigrant parents do, they lie to protect us. I love my mom so much. She's not watching, so I don't have to worry about hurting her feelings on that one. Hi, mom. Hey, mom. But yeah, she said she told me we were going to Disney World. And I was really excited until maybe a couple months passed. And I was like, wait a second.
I don't even know if you have advice. I really think it's like I have been an absolute psycho. Absolute psycho. I love you for admitting that because aren't we all? And honestly, even worse when I was younger. When I was younger, I would be dating a guy and like stalking his ex. I'd be like, what is wrong with me? Everyone raise your hand in this room.
I don't even know if you have advice. I really think it's like I have been an absolute psycho. Absolute psycho. I love you for admitting that because aren't we all? And honestly, even worse when I was younger. When I was younger, I would be dating a guy and like stalking his ex. I'd be like, what is wrong with me? Everyone raise your hand in this room.
I still, honestly, I definitely like... We all do it. It's been a while since I've been in like a long-term relationship. But God, I was like, he's like telling me he loves me. And meanwhile, I'm torturing myself over somebody like he's not even with anymore. It's like so crazy. It's so hard. The torture. I think like my advice would be I've gotten better at this is like...
I still, honestly, I definitely like... We all do it. It's been a while since I've been in like a long-term relationship. But God, I was like, he's like telling me he loves me. And meanwhile, I'm torturing myself over somebody like he's not even with anymore. It's like so crazy. It's so hard. The torture. I think like my advice would be I've gotten better at this is like...
I'm a big like mindfulness, like a kind of Buddhist practitioner person. Not practitioner person. That sounds so fucking weird. I know. Like what? But I think like self-compassion is really important when it comes to that stuff. It's like I could do something that's going to really hurt me or I can – Put the phone down. So fucking hard.
I'm a big like mindfulness, like a kind of Buddhist practitioner person. Not practitioner person. That sounds so fucking weird. I know. Like what? But I think like self-compassion is really important when it comes to that stuff. It's like I could do something that's going to really hurt me or I can – Put the phone down. So fucking hard.
It's really hard, but you almost have to do it out of kindness for yourself.
It's really hard, but you almost have to do it out of kindness for yourself.
I feel like if you're wanting to have breakup sex, you're probably going to hit each other up next week. Like there's still something there, you know? And like I said, I'm sorry. I'm a proponent. Like I don't believe in the forbidden fruit. If you want it, do it. Kind of like date until you hate them vibe. I don't actually hate anybody. But I'm saying do it until it's out of your system.
I feel like if you're wanting to have breakup sex, you're probably going to hit each other up next week. Like there's still something there, you know? And like I said, I'm sorry. I'm a proponent. Like I don't believe in the forbidden fruit. If you want it, do it. Kind of like date until you hate them vibe. I don't actually hate anybody. But I'm saying do it until it's out of your system.
And my friends really don't agree with this. They're like...
And my friends really don't agree with this. They're like...
you're an idiot and we hate you and don't ask me for advice anymore because I'm sick of you but it's been helpful for me and you know and and I also think the I think the hard part is like sometimes you do waste some time in that way like you like are still entertaining something and maybe there could be somebody out there that's better I think the point to close out the dating chapter is like yeah everybody that's listening like don't feel shame if you go back to an ex because
you're an idiot and we hate you and don't ask me for advice anymore because I'm sick of you but it's been helpful for me and you know and and I also think the I think the hard part is like sometimes you do waste some time in that way like you like are still entertaining something and maybe there could be somebody out there that's better I think the point to close out the dating chapter is like yeah everybody that's listening like don't feel shame if you go back to an ex because
Know why you still keep going back. Is it the sex? Is it the chemistry? Is it – The emotional connection. Is it your self-esteem? Is it whatever? Because I think like –
Know why you still keep going back. Is it the sex? Is it the chemistry? Is it – The emotional connection. Is it your self-esteem? Is it whatever? Because I think like –
One thing that I feel like I'm always trying to do, and I'm not trying to, whatever, the risk of sounding, I'm not trying to sound preachy, is like, I feel like always doing the inner work and inner questioning of like, why am I doing, why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? And if you still want to do it, do it.
One thing that I feel like I'm always trying to do, and I'm not trying to, whatever, the risk of sounding, I'm not trying to sound preachy, is like, I feel like always doing the inner work and inner questioning of like, why am I doing, why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? And if you still want to do it, do it.
I'm still here and there's no Disney World. And yeah, it's funny, like I really empathize with that, you know, that age, that version of me, because I can imagine that it's probably informed some parts of my personality in the sense that like,
I'm still here and there's no Disney World. And yeah, it's funny, like I really empathize with that, you know, that age, that version of me, because I can imagine that it's probably informed some parts of my personality in the sense that like,
Have you ever heard of that? Wait, no, I love that. I read this book. It was actually in COVID time, and it's called Letters to a Young Poet. And there's this poet that's asking him, like, he has so many questions, and I think he's, like, probably in his 20s. And he's like, the one advice I can give you is to live your questions.
Have you ever heard of that? Wait, no, I love that. I read this book. It was actually in COVID time, and it's called Letters to a Young Poet. And there's this poet that's asking him, like, he has so many questions, and I think he's, like, probably in his 20s. And he's like, the one advice I can give you is to live your questions.
And I feel like this was my Live My Questions album, Live My Questions chapter. And it's, like, very... really like sitting in the discomfort of things and realizing there's not going to be a neat in a box answer. It's like, I feel strong in these ways, weak in this ways. And there's no real clear answer here. But yeah, like the album process has been like such a journey.
And I feel like this was my Live My Questions album, Live My Questions chapter. And it's, like, very... really like sitting in the discomfort of things and realizing there's not going to be a neat in a box answer. It's like, I feel strong in these ways, weak in this ways. And there's no real clear answer here. But yeah, like the album process has been like such a journey.
And, you know, it started off with me really having that intention of going back to how it started for me, which is just like, you know, sitting with myself and, you know, really like,
And, you know, it started off with me really having that intention of going back to how it started for me, which is just like, you know, sitting with myself and, you know, really like,
Getting back to that first like passion of songwriting and, you know, like nerding out over references and artists and poetry and whatever and really tapping into that and then finding the collaborators that would really help me. I worked with like this amazing producer named Pablo El Guincho. And he really championed that for me.
Getting back to that first like passion of songwriting and, you know, like nerding out over references and artists and poetry and whatever and really tapping into that and then finding the collaborators that would really help me. I worked with like this amazing producer named Pablo El Guincho. And he really championed that for me.
And whenever I would get kind of nervous or doubtful about like, you know, should we bring any other co-writers in the room or whatever? He'd be like, no, this sounds like you got this and we got this and, you know, we can do it. And he brought in Jasper Harris and three of us kind of like made this whole project.
And whenever I would get kind of nervous or doubtful about like, you know, should we bring any other co-writers in the room or whatever? He'd be like, no, this sounds like you got this and we got this and, you know, we can do it. And he brought in Jasper Harris and three of us kind of like made this whole project.
And it turned into like, I'm excited for you to hear the whole album because it really is like kind of almost turned into like this very like solidified album.
And it turned into like, I'm excited for you to hear the whole album because it really is like kind of almost turned into like this very like solidified album.
songwriter voice for me that became kind of like a persona in a world oh wow which is the first time i've really done that with an album where it's like has its own kind of color palette and mood and aesthetic and sonic vibe and you know it's like very it became kind of like its own world and then obviously like you know the people that i that i'm like a huge fan of like there were so many artists that kind of came in and you know it's just been like so fun and amazing
songwriter voice for me that became kind of like a persona in a world oh wow which is the first time i've really done that with an album where it's like has its own kind of color palette and mood and aesthetic and sonic vibe and you know it's like very it became kind of like its own world and then obviously like you know the people that i that i'm like a huge fan of like there were so many artists that kind of came in and you know it's just been like so fun and amazing
one day I had like all my cousins and all my family around and the next day, not to like, whatever, like a pity sob story or whatever, but you know, one day they were there. And then the next, the next day I was kind of like, Oh, where is everybody? I actually had this song that I wrote that didn't end up making it into the album. But, um,
one day I had like all my cousins and all my family around and the next day, not to like, whatever, like a pity sob story or whatever, but you know, one day they were there. And then the next, the next day I was kind of like, Oh, where is everybody? I actually had this song that I wrote that didn't end up making it into the album. But, um,
fabulous and i think so many women specifically i think are gonna be like um you're speaking from my experience yes i've loved this and it's really cool it's also really cool because like the album aesthetically and even like so many of the themes in terms of it it's like you know there's a lot of like lip gloss and nails and whatever it's like very hyper femme yes
fabulous and i think so many women specifically i think are gonna be like um you're speaking from my experience yes i've loved this and it's really cool it's also really cool because like the album aesthetically and even like so many of the themes in terms of it it's like you know there's a lot of like lip gloss and nails and whatever it's like very hyper femme yes
Which is so fun because it's like I feel like I'm really tapping into the fun of like the feminine experience and sensuality and like even like the things that we do. Like, you know, like all those like different things.
Which is so fun because it's like I feel like I'm really tapping into the fun of like the feminine experience and sensuality and like even like the things that we do. Like, you know, like all those like different things.
The hair. The hair.
The hair. The hair.
relatable that's why I wanted to do this podcast too because I was like I feel like it's like very for the girls and I feel like my album is like very like for the girls and also like my so much of it was like inspired it's so much of me and who I am is inspired by my friends And you know what I mean?
relatable that's why I wanted to do this podcast too because I was like I feel like it's like very for the girls and I feel like my album is like very like for the girls and also like my so much of it was like inspired it's so much of me and who I am is inspired by my friends And you know what I mean?
And like that dynamic and like, you know, drinking wine and talking about like whatever the worst sex you've ever had. Like that's like, you know, that's very that's life. That's life.
And like that dynamic and like, you know, drinking wine and talking about like whatever the worst sex you've ever had. Like that's like, you know, that's very that's life. That's life.
Ooh, that's a great question. I really think it's live your questions. And I would add a bonus to that is I think it's like really embracing the playfulness of it, like the playfulness of being alive, of being a girl. And I think that's honestly why so much of this album has themes like, I don't know, like sex or whatever is because it's playful. Yeah.
Ooh, that's a great question. I really think it's live your questions. And I would add a bonus to that is I think it's like really embracing the playfulness of it, like the playfulness of being alive, of being a girl. And I think that's honestly why so much of this album has themes like, I don't know, like sex or whatever is because it's playful. Yeah.
and it's playful and it's hot it's hot and and being hot is fun yeah like some of the lyrics i was like oh camilla like camilla oh well i think it's like just like this spirit of i think freedom and and like just like ownership and really just like owning your fucking life and i don't know just like fucking being being free and being you
and it's playful and it's hot it's hot and and being hot is fun yeah like some of the lyrics i was like oh camilla like camilla oh well i think it's like just like this spirit of i think freedom and and like just like ownership and really just like owning your fucking life and i don't know just like fucking being being free and being you
Well, me too. And I knew that it would happen like that because I really was like, I was listening to your stuff and I was like, oh, this is a girl that like I would be friends with, you know. But thank you for real for making me feel so comfortable. You're so kind.
Well, me too. And I knew that it would happen like that because I really was like, I was listening to your stuff and I was like, oh, this is a girl that like I would be friends with, you know. But thank you for real for making me feel so comfortable. You're so kind.
And I love this one and I love you too.
And I love this one and I love you too.
Like so many empty chairs for like Christmas dinner or whatever. It was like some like lyric like that. But I think that's such a like visceral image that I can remember. It's like a lot of noise. And then it was like just me and my mom. Why did you guys move?
Like so many empty chairs for like Christmas dinner or whatever. It was like some like lyric like that. But I think that's such a like visceral image that I can remember. It's like a lot of noise. And then it was like just me and my mom. Why did you guys move?
think it was just the situation in Cuba was getting more and more difficult like lack of there was just like such a ceiling like as far as like you know my mom was an architect and even if you had a good job there was just like such there was like not a lot of resources like even like food medicine education like
think it was just the situation in Cuba was getting more and more difficult like lack of there was just like such a ceiling like as far as like you know my mom was an architect and even if you had a good job there was just like such there was like not a lot of resources like even like food medicine education like
I don't think a lot of people know, like, the situation there is, like, really, it's pretty tough, especially right now. Like, there's, like, there's not a lot of food. I have family members that have come even, like, a month ago that are still coming. And, you know, they see, like, the food that we have, like, in, you know, in the pantry.
I don't think a lot of people know, like, the situation there is, like, really, it's pretty tough, especially right now. Like, there's, like, there's not a lot of food. I have family members that have come even, like, a month ago that are still coming. And, you know, they see, like, the food that we have, like, in, you know, in the pantry.
I know, because I could just intuit, like I could read your energy that you were like, oh, her mom is here.
I know, because I could just intuit, like I could read your energy that you were like, oh, her mom is here.
And they're like, we're just, like, not used to this situation. And I think that's like what's amazing, too, about Miami and the community there is like I think because everybody has those common like start from nothing thing, like it really is like, hey, like if you don't have a job, like I've got this uncle, I got this cousin, like you come work for me. You don't know how to do this.
And they're like, we're just, like, not used to this situation. And I think that's like what's amazing, too, about Miami and the community there is like I think because everybody has those common like start from nothing thing, like it really is like, hey, like if you don't have a job, like I've got this uncle, I got this cousin, like you come work for me. You don't know how to do this.
Well, it's fine. I'll teach you whatever. And everybody's just kind of like helping you.
Well, it's fine. I'll teach you whatever. And everybody's just kind of like helping you.
I really made friends. It's crazy to think about. Like, in hindsight, I made my best friends through music always. I was always, like, you know, my first friend that I made, her name was Giselle, and we lived in, like, an apartment complex. She lived in the same complex as me. And we bonded over, like, the Cheetah Girls. Oh. I wanted to be them so bad.
I really made friends. It's crazy to think about. Like, in hindsight, I made my best friends through music always. I was always, like, you know, my first friend that I made, her name was Giselle, and we lived in, like, an apartment complex. She lived in the same complex as me. And we bonded over, like, the Cheetah Girls. Oh. I wanted to be them so bad.
And I loved like, you know, Cinderella like that. It's actually crazy how much I am realizing a lot of these things came to be. I was going to say you manifested the shit. Yeah, I know. I really manifested the shit out of like my fucking life. Then you were Cinderella. Yeah, I know. And I was in a girl group.
And I loved like, you know, Cinderella like that. It's actually crazy how much I am realizing a lot of these things came to be. I was going to say you manifested the shit. Yeah, I know. I really manifested the shit out of like my fucking life. Then you were Cinderella. Yeah, I know. And I was in a girl group.
But anyway, so like we would, you know, like I would bring the CD or whatever and we would like just dance to it and pretend like we were in a girl group. And then like, you know, when I was in elementary school, it was like we would pretend to be on American Idol. Fuck, I manifested that shit too, I guess. I'm realizing.
But anyway, so like we would, you know, like I would bring the CD or whatever and we would like just dance to it and pretend like we were in a girl group. And then like, you know, when I was in elementary school, it was like we would pretend to be on American Idol. Fuck, I manifested that shit too, I guess. I'm realizing.
And then we were like, I made a like mini girl group with my friends and we were called Lion Girls, Queens of the Jungle, because I love the Cheetah Girls. That's not like, that's not a like musician flex. Yeah. You're like, that's a really good name.
And then we were like, I made a like mini girl group with my friends and we were called Lion Girls, Queens of the Jungle, because I love the Cheetah Girls. That's not like, that's not a like musician flex. Yeah. You're like, that's a really good name.
And I remember like this one friend that I had, like my best friend, we would like, I remember during the summers, we would like, we would be on the phone and we would like just be singing on the phone. Like, oh my God, I did like this. That riff sounds so good. Like everything was honestly really tied to music.
And I remember like this one friend that I had, like my best friend, we would like, I remember during the summers, we would like, we would be on the phone and we would like just be singing on the phone. Like, oh my God, I did like this. That riff sounds so good. Like everything was honestly really tied to music.
Yeah. I loved – I wouldn't even say performing because I was really, really shy. I was like almost – it was like really reserved for my friends. And I remember my friends even say now, they're like, remember when we used to be like, sing, sing? Because I don't know if that was a thing for when it was your age. But I feel like anybody who was like –
Yeah. I loved – I wouldn't even say performing because I was really, really shy. I was like almost – it was like really reserved for my friends. And I remember my friends even say now, they're like, remember when we used to be like, sing, sing? Because I don't know if that was a thing for when it was your age. But I feel like anybody who was like –
There were people that were like, I didn't even know that like she sang. Stop. Cause I was just, I was, I went through different, phases. Like I think there was with some people that I was really funny and class clowny and whatever. And then for most people, I was really, I was like really shy and shy.
There were people that were like, I didn't even know that like she sang. Stop. Cause I was just, I was, I went through different, phases. Like I think there was with some people that I was really funny and class clowny and whatever. And then for most people, I was really, I was like really shy and shy.
You know, I felt like I just I needed a big physical change because I feel like I don't know, my dark hair has been with me for all of my life. I feel like it was just like a big part of how the public saw me, the world saw me, how I saw myself. And I feel like it's just been a year of like the theme has very much been like play and transformation and changing and being brave.
You know, I felt like I just I needed a big physical change because I feel like I don't know, my dark hair has been with me for all of my life. I feel like it was just like a big part of how the public saw me, the world saw me, how I saw myself. And I feel like it's just been a year of like the theme has very much been like play and transformation and changing and being brave.
I mean, honestly, I was a huge... I don't know if... I'm curious if you were too, but I was like, you know, like, I was like such a big pop culture fan. Yes, yes. Since I was young. And my friends and I really bonded over that. Like, we didn't love fucking One Direction. We loved One Direction. We loved One Direction. Yeah, we loved One Direction. We wanted to fuck One Direction.
I mean, honestly, I was a huge... I don't know if... I'm curious if you were too, but I was like, you know, like, I was like such a big pop culture fan. Yes, yes. Since I was young. And my friends and I really bonded over that. Like, we didn't love fucking One Direction. We loved One Direction. We loved One Direction. Yeah, we loved One Direction. We wanted to fuck One Direction.
I mean, at that age, we just wanted... I wanted to just kiss them. A kiss. Like, just anything. But, yeah. Even if... at an early age, I wasn't like, I want to be a singer because I think it just wasn't even a thing that I thought of. Like, it was like, bitch, how? Like, you know, like, how will this be a career? Yeah. Like, I don't have anybody that knows anybody.
I mean, at that age, we just wanted... I wanted to just kiss them. A kiss. Like, just anything. But, yeah. Even if... at an early age, I wasn't like, I want to be a singer because I think it just wasn't even a thing that I thought of. Like, it was like, bitch, how? Like, you know, like, how will this be a career? Yeah. Like, I don't have anybody that knows anybody.
I'm like in Miami, like nobody fucking, the most that we had was, I don't know if you remember, like when that like person would come on the radio and be like, auditions for Nickelodeon. Yes. Do you want to be the next Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber? And all my friends, I would be like, yeah.
I'm like in Miami, like nobody fucking, the most that we had was, I don't know if you remember, like when that like person would come on the radio and be like, auditions for Nickelodeon. Yes. Do you want to be the next Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber? And all my friends, I would be like, yeah.
All of my friends and I auditioned and they were like, you are amazing. You're only going to have to pay $15,000 to go to this acting school. And my mom was like, Yeah. Yeah. Scam. But that was like in hindsight, it was always the center of my life was music and singing and writing and whatever. It was always like my obsession.
All of my friends and I auditioned and they were like, you are amazing. You're only going to have to pay $15,000 to go to this acting school. And my mom was like, Yeah. Yeah. Scam. But that was like in hindsight, it was always the center of my life was music and singing and writing and whatever. It was always like my obsession.
And I think like One Direction or pop culture was like an extension of that in a different way, in a more probably hormonal, crushy way. But yeah, but I really was like. I need to audition to X Factor and I need to do whatever it takes to make it to at least the point where I meet Harry. Really, all of them, but like... Harry. But really Harry. So, yeah.
And I think like One Direction or pop culture was like an extension of that in a different way, in a more probably hormonal, crushy way. But yeah, but I really was like. I need to audition to X Factor and I need to do whatever it takes to make it to at least the point where I meet Harry. Really, all of them, but like... Harry. But really Harry. So, yeah.
No, and Niall is so lovely too. He's like amazing. It's Harry. It's Harry. I just, I was like, I really, really...
No, and Niall is so lovely too. He's like amazing. It's Harry. It's Harry. I just, I was like, I really, really...
that they don't know that you are the girl for them. Like they don't know it, but once they do, there will be no stopping that train. It's crazy how delusional you are at that age.
that they don't know that you are the girl for them. Like they don't know it, but once they do, there will be no stopping that train. It's crazy how delusional you are at that age.
Oh no, me too. Me too. I'd be like, I would, I would, I remember like going to the concert being like, I have to look incredible. Because for some reason I thought me at 15 years old with like my like insanely terrible like side bang and like, you know, like that he would lock eye and then he would know for some reason. It's crazy. I still have some of that delusion left in me now.
Oh no, me too. Me too. I'd be like, I would, I would, I remember like going to the concert being like, I have to look incredible. Because for some reason I thought me at 15 years old with like my like insanely terrible like side bang and like, you know, like that he would lock eye and then he would know for some reason. It's crazy. I still have some of that delusion left in me now.
I think it's good delusion though, right? It's fun. It keeps you, it keeps things spicy. It does. On your toes, you know? Oh yeah, 100%. Just like wanting things you can't have. No, delusion is a necessary ingredient, I think, to like my happiness. But I definitely had...
I think it's good delusion though, right? It's fun. It keeps you, it keeps things spicy. It does. On your toes, you know? Oh yeah, 100%. Just like wanting things you can't have. No, delusion is a necessary ingredient, I think, to like my happiness. But I definitely had...
way more at 15 I definitely was like once once he sees me he's he's he's dumping Kendall Jenner he will know he won't even know what hit him when our eyes lock yeah it's like game over baby wifey okay and then I look pictures of myself at that age and I'm like oh my god like I look like such a baby like It was never going to happen. Never going to happen.
way more at 15 I definitely was like once once he sees me he's he's he's dumping Kendall Jenner he will know he won't even know what hit him when our eyes lock yeah it's like game over baby wifey okay and then I look pictures of myself at that age and I'm like oh my god like I look like such a baby like It was never going to happen. Never going to happen.
But I feel like also the the music is so different, like the world is so different that I don't know, for so many reasons, I was like, I feel like a physical change needs to like accompany that. And then I tried on a few different wigs.
But I feel like also the the music is so different, like the world is so different that I don't know, for so many reasons, I was like, I feel like a physical change needs to like accompany that. And then I tried on a few different wigs.
But I joined the what felt to me like at that time, like I was like, oh, my God. Yes. This is happening to me now. No, that's actually so crazy.
But I joined the what felt to me like at that time, like I was like, oh, my God. Yes. This is happening to me now. No, that's actually so crazy.
Yeah. I mean, like when I remember when we were at X Factor and they started like calling our names up, I was like. I know this fucking story. I have seen it.
Yeah. I mean, like when I remember when we were at X Factor and they started like calling our names up, I was like. I know this fucking story. I have seen it.
I feel like I'm like can really... focus on and remember the really joyful times. And, you know, I grew a lot in that group. And I remember waking up on tour and going to my hotel room at like 7 a.m. and going to my garage band and like writing songs because I didn't want to like you know, do it while everybody was there. And I just like I had such a passion for that turned into writing.
I feel like I'm like can really... focus on and remember the really joyful times. And, you know, I grew a lot in that group. And I remember waking up on tour and going to my hotel room at like 7 a.m. and going to my garage band and like writing songs because I didn't want to like you know, do it while everybody was there. And I just like I had such a passion for that turned into writing.
And at first I was like, oh, maybe like I want to write for other people. But then it turned into like, no, actually, like I want to sing these songs by myself. And I started just like distancing myself from I feel like the group vision. And it felt like, you know, they were still like really passionate and into that. And so I just was like, I'm still like not I'm not happy here anymore.
And at first I was like, oh, maybe like I want to write for other people. But then it turned into like, no, actually, like I want to sing these songs by myself. And I started just like distancing myself from I feel like the group vision. And it felt like, you know, they were still like really passionate and into that. And so I just was like, I'm still like not I'm not happy here anymore.
Like it doesn't feel aligned.
Like it doesn't feel aligned.
Of course it is like, oh, my God. Yeah, it is.
Of course it is like, oh, my God. Yeah, it is.
When I was 15 to 19, it was like guys that, you know, like not a lot, like a few, a few. And it was very like we saw each other maybe once or twice a year. I really started dating and whatever, like probably when I was like 20.
Yeah. Because before that, it was just like the group was like all encompassing. That was your relationship. That was my relationship.
I definitely think you need to do wigs because it's such a big change. But I do feel like everybody should do it. I mean, not everybody should do it, but it's like a fun, like, I don't know, it brings out a different part of your personality. It's like, I don't know, it's kind of like a YOLO. Like, I don't know, just like, fuck it.
My first love was... I feel like I've had a few, maybe a couple great loves.
like really in love. I don't know. It's like, there's so many different connotations to in love though. Cause sometimes it's like, who was I happiest with or who made me the most devastated? And sometimes it's like, God, what even is the right definition of in love?
Cause there were people that there was, you know, one person that made me the happiest and there was the other person that made me the most sick and crazy. Right. And I don't know what is the definition of like what's the most in love, you know?
is it okay if i take please i take should i take a sip cheers cheers cheers we're drinking wine okay i need a little bit of wine because we were talking about i know i don't really do stuff like this so i definitely was like a little nervous but i'm also i'm really excited for like my fans i feel like they like haven't seen me be a person in a while okay cheers cheers cheers cheers
There is a part of me that still... It depends what mood I'm in. Sometimes I really want peace and happiness. And other times I still miss and love that chaotic, sickening feeling. And I don't know what that is. I have to explore it further in therapy. But...
there is something like so kind of like addictive about about that and and you know it's interesting because it's like you know it's like the classic like nervous system quote like whatever i mean actually i don't know why i said classic because it's not a classic classic it's relatable you know that that quote is like find someone that's good for your nervous system yes a lot of the times the people that are do make you feel fucking sick with love are not good for your nervous system and
But it feels so good and terrible at the same time.
Because when it's good, it's like, you could cut my leg off today. I will be smiling all teeth.
And it really changes, I feel like, as you age. I feel like when I was younger, so many relationships were like my projection of people in my head. And I really romanticized the shit out of them. And I really took a little thing that they said and I just ran with that.
You know, but now I find that it's like the people that you meet that are like really exciting and how you have real chemistry with it's really is rare and hard to find.
I am not a sober and what sucks is that I hear that that's the healthiest thing it's like I've heard podcasts or where people are like if you kind of like this person and if you're curious just go on a second date and I'm just the kind of person that's like if I am not like going to sleep like wanting to have you inside me like I I get it honestly that's extreme maybe not that but if I'm not if I'm not like if I don't leave the date and I'm like
Okay. I try to really prioritize that part of my life.
Because it just makes me feel... it's just so fun yeah I love I honestly love being single I love it but I also I've been in relationships for a lot of my since I started dating like since I started dating when I was 20 I was in long-term relationships a lot so it feels fun to just like get to know people and like
And you start to realize there also there are other things that are important, like you can go deeper. And that's surprising. And, you know, at the end of the day, it's like we're people that are I really believe like we're never just one person. We are constantly changing. Like Matt could be a different person in two years. He he will be a new person. Yeah. And so there's always something new.
Yeah, that's a good point. But I do feel like I'm like, I think also because I was just in like a heavy like, like, you know, like writing process, writing stage. It's really experiences. I'm just like so hungry for experiences. Like the more experiences. The better.
oh god oh wait the whole internet just broke so it was vacation plus some work but I will say you know what I love that man I love him we all love that man we all love him right the internet really loved him recently yeah yeah I don't know what you're talking about okay so have you ever had can we confirm or no um have I ever had what like a little thing with Drake a beautiful artistic collaboration with him
But honestly, I haven't, I haven't drank in a second. I've been working so much. I really, I'm like, I feel like I kind of deserve, you have had a really busy schedule too. You told me yesterday.
Yes. I may or may not have.
Okay, first of all, we did not go on vacation. This was like a homey, like, friend's trip. Okay, so let me break this down for y'all, okay? So...
basically drake was a big love him love him love love him as an artist for real me too love him like right yes he's the best yes who the goat um he i love him so much and i really listened to him a lot during my writing process during my album and i really felt like he would like my album
And so I DMed him and I was like, hey, I really want to play. I was like, you know what? I'm just going to put it out there.
We gotta make shit happen.
We gotta make shit happen. So I DM'd him and I was like, I would love to play you my album. I honestly feel like you would really love it. Because, you know, because I listen to him a lot and I just feel like we're, I really do feel like musically in a lot of ways we like the same things. And I feel, yeah. So we hung out. I played him my album.
He loved it. Okay. And I thought that he would. And I was like so excited. It was also such a surreal moment for me to like play Drake my songs and like, you know, that's another one of those things that you're just like, wow, I would have never expected that. That this would happen. A dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. I remember being there and being like, wow, this is so fucking sick.
Like what are we doing?
And he's so generous and so kind. But anyway, so I didn't just go on vacation with him. It was like a vacation work thing. But honestly, I will say... I love him. And that has been such a fun part about this whole experience.
Like this has been the most, it's been a really insular process in terms of like me taking it back to basics in terms of like me, like really focusing on like, you know, my craft of writing or whatever. But at the same time, literally I could chug this whole thing right now. But like huge toast to that. And he's amazing. And I love him. Let's do a toast to Drake. Toast. To Drake.
To Champagne Poppy. God bless. We all love you. God bless. We really do love you.
As far as looking for something serious, I don't know. I have phases. Like, maybe, like, two weeks ago, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I really just – I want to really have something real with someone. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready for something real again. And then I am, like, you know – talking and like meeting someone new and I'm like, oh my God, I love this. This is so fun.
I don't want anything serious right now. So, it really, it's like, it's different, it's different phases. I really think I'm like, there's so much going on right now that If it was somebody serious, I would really have to connect with them on a really deep level, which I always hope it is. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. Like I love my fun, but I'm a hopeless romantic for sure.
And I literally, if I have like a great kiss with somebody, I'm like, I would die for you.
I do like a little bit, not too much, but just a little bit of like a, You know, there's like maybe a few...
vibes yes there's a few vibes you know and I think there's there's a different level of like for some people roster is like the intimacy is like maybe sleeping with all them that's that's too much for me it's more kind of like vibes and and talking hanging out whatever but I can't be serious at least at this point with more than one person I completely agree I feel like when you're in the single stage it's helpful to kind of just like
You're fucking talking. Exactly. If it's late night till 3 a.m. and we have this insane connection and I'm like, oh, you're like – It's giving father of my children vibe. Like, I will fly anywhere. Like, whatever. Then I will do that. But if it's like, I liked him and he was cute and that was cute. Then it's like, I'll see you when I see you. Wait, have you ever flown a guy somewhere?
Only in, like, relationship vibes. No. I mean, I haven't, like, flown them. Got it. They... fly to the front no yeah I haven't piloted them to my hotel room but I mean like they have flown to me yeah but I haven't been like let me just get you a flight yeah I'm not a daddy yeah oh my god yeah I know what gives you the ick to be honest one of the things that would give me the ick is I don't
No, same. If I'm making decisions all day and I have to be like on my fucking like whatever. Daddy shit. Unironic daddy boss girl shit. You better come correct when it's time. And let me just not think about anything. Like, I want you to like, fuck. I want to let go and surrender. Right. What is your philosophy around ghosting? Are we ghosting people? Are we not? No, I don't like that.
I mean, I actually had a conversation with my friends the other day because I went on a date with this guy.
I think it was just I needed to kind of protect myself from – I actually wouldn't even say protect myself. I think I just, I needed to just be a human being. I needed to be a person. I needed to kind of step away from being a public persona and just work on myself from the inside out as opposed to like the outside in. I mean, I've been in the public eye since I was 15 years old.
my god yeah okay and so but they're not like right he wasn't famous why did it not go well it was just so boring like there was no spark no i was like i was thinking about every other ex yeah like i was just not happen that's the fucking worst when you're like or just or just the number one on the roster oh
Like, you're like, I'm just thinking about number one. And you're like, you're like, get out. Just leave. Yeah. But you went through the whole fucking date. I honestly, this is actually crazy. So I had my, I was hiding my hair. Were you wearing like a beanie? I was wearing a black wig and. No, did. I was just like, my head really hurts.
What did he say? He was like, yeah, of course, let's go.
Yeah, I feel bad. I really hope he doesn't see this.
There's no way. I don't think he'll see this.
It wasn't that it was boring. I just was like, my heart wasn't in it. It wasn't in it. I think that's okay. My heart was with someone else.
It wasn't it. That doesn't mean he's not an amazing person. It wasn't a fit. But I am sensitive about ghosting. Because I feel like you have to be kind to people. However, I didn't text him back. Because I was like, hmm. I don't know. I don't know. Honestly, and if somebody were to say right now, hey... And my friend actually, they gave me good advice. They were like, don't text him back.
If he keeps texting you, then say, hey, honestly, it really wasn't a fit, but it was so nice to meet you. Wish you well. But he didn't keep texting, so I was like, I'll leave it. But... If things had gone on, like, further, then I'm not a fan of the ghosting thing. I just feel like it's, like, why hurt people? I agree. Just be nice. Don't lead them on. I agree.
I don't think so either.
Like, she's not into it. And also, it's, like, it's one date. Right.
yeah like we didn't like have exactly three months together 100% that's crazy when people do that if somebody if I was with somebody no and they ghosted me after we were intimate or after we whatever I would be like you're just like that's a very unkind thing to do and I wouldn't want to be with somebody like that anyway what is the biggest red flag that you've ever willingly ignored so many I mean right like so many
Yeah, I think that's a big red flag is like how you feel. Like, that's just such a big temperature check in relationships. Like, I've been in relationships before where I'm like, if I am...
miserable for this long yeah there is just something off and some every time I've been like it's me it's me it's me it's me oh my god oh my god it's my what is it what am I oh my god blah blah blah but it's like a lot of the times it's like it's It's just not right.
So I feel like so much of, especially the first maybe seven or eight years, I was like kind of figuring myself out at the same time as like trying to process and take in what other people thought, even if I'm not necessarily reading it directly, you just kind of subconsciously are trying to figure out what to do with all of that.
It's not right. It's like if I feel so much better when I'm not with you and then when I'm with you, I feel miserable and overthinking and anxious every time, then we are just not right. And then I think you kind of keep going because you have this like –
hope or some ideal of what the relationship is we can work on it we can this we can this we can that and it's like sometimes it's like you have to temperature check like yeah just like it's not right it's not right have you ever been cheated on i actually i'm lucky to say i have not been cheated on it's amazing i know that's amazing maybe i i really don't think this counts but i was like 17 talking to a guy but i don't think that counts have you ever had someone go through your phone oh
I had deleted some texts.
And they were like, why did you delete this? Text message history. Got it. With another person. And I was like, My phone deletes things. I was like young and... You were being a little shady.
Okay, okay. For sure.
That's such a bad lie. It's amazing. I was like, I've never been... To this day, I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. You're like... I was like, my phone just like, I delete messages, like whole complete messages. I don't, I don't know. But I honestly, I broke up with him literally three days after that.
But you know, shit happens.
Oh, my God. All the time. Like not all the time, but like I love this TikTok that I see. It's like like your friend is like you like show them like a terrible text. And it's like, and what did you respond to him? And you're like, like when my friends are always like my friends are cold as fuck.
hold hearted those are good friends sometimes they're like dude how could you text him back don't text him don't do that emoji don't I'm like oh my god I didn't know you guys were mean but they're very but it's good they're keeping you in line oh my god yeah because I'm like the opposite I'm like I'm a dumbass I get it I get it I'm an idiot I was just going with it yeah what is your biggest insecurity oh
My biggest insecurity, like internal, external, whatever.
So I don't know, I think I needed some time and some space to be like, who am I? What's important to me? What are, not only what are my, my values in that sense, but also like, what are my hobbies? What do I like to do? What's my taste in art? What kind of people do I like hanging out with? What kind of people do I not like hanging out with?
This is just, this is probably the wine too. And I saw this Jodie Foster like interview. Like I was reading it yesterday. Congrats on your New York Times article, by the way. Thank you. I didn't read it because I didn't want to make myself nervous before the interview. But I love the New York Times. And I was like, oh, my God. There she is.
But I saw this one New York Times or New York or whatever, like Jodie Foster interview. And she was like, for somebody who values privacy so much, I really want to be understood. And that really resonated with me. I feel like my insecurity is like... I don't know, some like childhood thing of like being like, I don't care if people get me. I don't care if people, whatever.
I'm just going to be myself. But at the same time, really wanting people to understand me and not dislike me or whatever. So... I don't really know. I think it's, like, a general insecurity of, like, probably, like, being seen and then not loved or whatever.
At the same time, it's, like...
I honestly love morning sex. I like both, but there's, and my favorite is actually like, I love like an afternoon vibe because it feels so like European. It feels so like you're like not working and it feels like so primal in a way. Like I don't have to work. Right. Let's just like, let's just like eat fruit. And like, and coitus.
I prefer him coming back to mine for sure. Biggest turn off in the bedroom. I don't like, like silence and like, Like, just, like, no passion. Yes. I need, like… Going through the motions. I hate going through the motions. I'm like, why are we even doing this? Right.
Why are you saying things to me? Like, let's, like… You know what I mean? Yes. I get it. Yeah. To me, I'm like, I would rather not have this. Favorite sex position? It depends on the vibe and it depends on the energy of whatever's happening in that moment. Like, there's, like, in love… Mm-hmm. Sex. And then there's like kind of freaky vibes.
You know, I think different different strokes for different times.
And I feel like that's kind of the journey I've been on for the past few years. And it's been really like, it's been really nice and, and, and healthy for me. I feel like I really kind of
I'm personally, I think it's known, I'm a fan. I support it. Supported it in the past. Cheers. Cheers. What about you? I think it's so, I personally think it's helpful. It's helpful because I am not a person, you can't forbid things from me because I will want to do it more.
If I tell myself, some of my friends are really good at that. They're like, well, not going to text him because blah, blah, blah. I'm not like that. I'm like, if I want to text him, I'm going to text him.
You need to know that it's not going to work. And it needs to be on your terms. And then you need to be over it and you need to be like, I did it. And I've, I know, I know. I know. And I know.
Yeah. Yeah. And you know, it's crazy because- I just like, I'm kind of like impulsive in that way, I would say. Like I feel like if I feel it, I say it. And I'm not really good at not doing that, like I said, because then the worst place for it to live in is my mind. And then I'm like, you know, Ryan Gosling in the notebook building a house for this person.
So I would rather say it and see what happens and then wake up the next day and find out that it's been heavily documented. I just like went, I opted for that route. But, you know, but it is what it is. It was a great route. It was a fun time. It was a fun moment. And, you know, and I will always care about him and love him. He's such a good person. Yeah.
And I'm lucky, you know, because some people have exes that are awful and, you know, and he is not. He's a really kind, good person.
I think it was just like... it wasn't even like a decision. I think you just kind of are like, yeah, this doesn't really, it's not a, it's not a fit. It doesn't feel right. And I think luckily, you know, I was in a place in my life where it took me less time to realize that. Like it took us both less time like to be like, this doesn't feel right.
And we don't really need to like try so hard to like make it work. Like it's all good. Like this is not feeling good. Like let's be friends. I love you. I love you. It's all good. Let's move on. You go do your thing. You go do mine. Become the person that, you know, that you're becoming and I'll root for you. And that's it.
Yeah, and I think the worst thing that you can live with is like a what if or a doubt. What is your take on the idea of right person, wrong time? Wow, that's a great question. I don't think that there is such thing. I feel like if it's the wrong time, it's not right. It doesn't matter. I think right person, wrong time is still a way of keeping yourself tied to the person.
And it's almost like right job, wrong time. It's the wrong job. Yes.
Like, it's like when you say it like that, you know, you're right. There's just no such thing. Like, I feel like I really I feel like if if it's the wrong time and that makes it a person that's, I love like just the simplicity of like, it sounds so clinical and non-romantic, but like, it's just not a fit.
Because he was the right person. Because there's no such, I feel like there's no such thing really. I mean, maybe there is such thing as, I mean, maybe wrong time could be classified as like long distance or you're going away or whatever. But then in that case, it's just, it's not right. Right, right.
I think it's like a long-term breakup. Yeah. I think it's really just like the where does the love go vibe. You have so much care and love for this person and it really does feel... I've luckily, up to this point in my life, I haven't experienced loss, like real loss. But it feels like loss, but that person is just still...
It's so funny because I always say six or seven. My mom is like, you have to like pick an age. Right. Like, which was it? Yeah. I'm like, I moved when I was six or seven. And when I was six or seven, it's like, I don't want to say that.
out there and it takes your own restraint reminding yourself why it's not the right thing yeah to like keep you away from texting that person or or whatever and also it's like feels very out of your control because sometimes it's like i just i wanted it to be this person so bad like i wanted it to be but it's not and that feels really hard to let go like to be like
i really wanted this to be it but the fact that it's not that i can't make this person who i wanted them to be it's tough it's really tough like you really it really feels like like uh you can't always get what you want kind of thing i do kind of love how you said that though it's so true of like where does love go when i'm thinking of like what would my answer have been i'm like kind of similar where you're like how did we love each other so much
Yeah, it's like, where does the energy go? Right. I find, like, it was so funny after, like, there's been breakups where after, I'm like, I tell my best friends, I'm like, can I just, like, hold your hand more and, like, be more, like, touchy with you? Because that's, like, a big love language for me, as you've probably seen in videos, is, like, touch, physical touch. Yeah.
Even like the touch starvation after and you know what I mean? It is really hard. Totally.
And it's usually that I think for me in the past, you know, and that's where you really have to be like, I didn't get what I wanted. True. I really wanted this person to be this. I really wanted us to be this, but... It's not. Yeah, it's not.
My mom told me we were going to Disney World. As immigrant parents do, they lie to protect us. I love my mom so much. She's not watching, so I don't have to worry about hurting her feelings on that one. Hi, mom. Hey, mom. But yeah, she said she told me we were going to Disney World. And I was really excited until maybe a couple months passed. And I was like, wait a second.
I don't even know if you have advice. I really think it's like I have been an absolute psycho. Absolute psycho. I love you for admitting that because aren't we all? And honestly, even worse when I was younger. When I was younger, I would be dating a guy and like stalking his ex. I'd be like, what is wrong with me? Everyone raise your hand in this room.
I still, honestly, I definitely like... We all do it. It's been a while since I've been in like a long-term relationship. But God, I was like, he's like telling me he loves me. And meanwhile, I'm torturing myself over somebody like he's not even with anymore. It's like so crazy. It's so hard. The torture. I think like my advice would be I've gotten better at this is like...
I'm a big like mindfulness, like a kind of Buddhist practitioner person. Not practitioner person. That sounds so fucking weird. I know. Like what? But I think like self-compassion is really important when it comes to that stuff. It's like I could do something that's going to really hurt me or I can – Put the phone down. So fucking hard.
It's really hard, but you almost have to do it out of kindness for yourself.
I feel like if you're wanting to have breakup sex, you're probably going to hit each other up next week. Like there's still something there, you know? And like I said, I'm sorry. I'm a proponent. Like I don't believe in the forbidden fruit. If you want it, do it. Kind of like date until you hate them vibe. I don't actually hate anybody. But I'm saying do it until it's out of your system.
And my friends really don't agree with this. They're like...
you're an idiot and we hate you and don't ask me for advice anymore because I'm sick of you but it's been helpful for me and you know and and I also think the I think the hard part is like sometimes you do waste some time in that way like you like are still entertaining something and maybe there could be somebody out there that's better I think the point to close out the dating chapter is like yeah everybody that's listening like don't feel shame if you go back to an ex because
Know why you still keep going back. Is it the sex? Is it the chemistry? Is it – The emotional connection. Is it your self-esteem? Is it whatever? Because I think like –
One thing that I feel like I'm always trying to do, and I'm not trying to, whatever, the risk of sounding, I'm not trying to sound preachy, is like, I feel like always doing the inner work and inner questioning of like, why am I doing, why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? And if you still want to do it, do it.
I'm still here and there's no Disney World. And yeah, it's funny, like I really empathize with that, you know, that age, that version of me, because I can imagine that it's probably informed some parts of my personality in the sense that like,
Have you ever heard of that? Wait, no, I love that. I read this book. It was actually in COVID time, and it's called Letters to a Young Poet. And there's this poet that's asking him, like, he has so many questions, and I think he's, like, probably in his 20s. And he's like, the one advice I can give you is to live your questions.
And I feel like this was my Live My Questions album, Live My Questions chapter. And it's, like, very... really like sitting in the discomfort of things and realizing there's not going to be a neat in a box answer. It's like, I feel strong in these ways, weak in this ways. And there's no real clear answer here. But yeah, like the album process has been like such a journey.
And, you know, it started off with me really having that intention of going back to how it started for me, which is just like, you know, sitting with myself and, you know, really like,
Getting back to that first like passion of songwriting and, you know, like nerding out over references and artists and poetry and whatever and really tapping into that and then finding the collaborators that would really help me. I worked with like this amazing producer named Pablo El Guincho. And he really championed that for me.
And whenever I would get kind of nervous or doubtful about like, you know, should we bring any other co-writers in the room or whatever? He'd be like, no, this sounds like you got this and we got this and, you know, we can do it. And he brought in Jasper Harris and three of us kind of like made this whole project.
And it turned into like, I'm excited for you to hear the whole album because it really is like kind of almost turned into like this very like solidified album.
songwriter voice for me that became kind of like a persona in a world oh wow which is the first time i've really done that with an album where it's like has its own kind of color palette and mood and aesthetic and sonic vibe and you know it's like very it became kind of like its own world and then obviously like you know the people that i that i'm like a huge fan of like there were so many artists that kind of came in and you know it's just been like so fun and amazing
one day I had like all my cousins and all my family around and the next day, not to like, whatever, like a pity sob story or whatever, but you know, one day they were there. And then the next, the next day I was kind of like, Oh, where is everybody? I actually had this song that I wrote that didn't end up making it into the album. But, um,
fabulous and i think so many women specifically i think are gonna be like um you're speaking from my experience yes i've loved this and it's really cool it's also really cool because like the album aesthetically and even like so many of the themes in terms of it it's like you know there's a lot of like lip gloss and nails and whatever it's like very hyper femme yes
Which is so fun because it's like I feel like I'm really tapping into the fun of like the feminine experience and sensuality and like even like the things that we do. Like, you know, like all those like different things.
The hair. The hair.
relatable that's why I wanted to do this podcast too because I was like I feel like it's like very for the girls and I feel like my album is like very like for the girls and also like my so much of it was like inspired it's so much of me and who I am is inspired by my friends And you know what I mean?
And like that dynamic and like, you know, drinking wine and talking about like whatever the worst sex you've ever had. Like that's like, you know, that's very that's life. That's life.
Ooh, that's a great question. I really think it's live your questions. And I would add a bonus to that is I think it's like really embracing the playfulness of it, like the playfulness of being alive, of being a girl. And I think that's honestly why so much of this album has themes like, I don't know, like sex or whatever is because it's playful. Yeah.
and it's playful and it's hot it's hot and and being hot is fun yeah like some of the lyrics i was like oh camilla like camilla oh well i think it's like just like this spirit of i think freedom and and like just like ownership and really just like owning your fucking life and i don't know just like fucking being being free and being you
Well, me too. And I knew that it would happen like that because I really was like, I was listening to your stuff and I was like, oh, this is a girl that like I would be friends with, you know. But thank you for real for making me feel so comfortable. You're so kind.
And I love this one and I love you too.
Like so many empty chairs for like Christmas dinner or whatever. It was like some like lyric like that. But I think that's such a like visceral image that I can remember. It's like a lot of noise. And then it was like just me and my mom. Why did you guys move?
think it was just the situation in Cuba was getting more and more difficult like lack of there was just like such a ceiling like as far as like you know my mom was an architect and even if you had a good job there was just like such there was like not a lot of resources like even like food medicine education like
I don't think a lot of people know, like, the situation there is, like, really, it's pretty tough, especially right now. Like, there's, like, there's not a lot of food. I have family members that have come even, like, a month ago that are still coming. And, you know, they see, like, the food that we have, like, in, you know, in the pantry.
I know, because I could just intuit, like I could read your energy that you were like, oh, her mom is here.
And they're like, we're just, like, not used to this situation. And I think that's like what's amazing, too, about Miami and the community there is like I think because everybody has those common like start from nothing thing, like it really is like, hey, like if you don't have a job, like I've got this uncle, I got this cousin, like you come work for me. You don't know how to do this.
Well, it's fine. I'll teach you whatever. And everybody's just kind of like helping you.
I really made friends. It's crazy to think about. Like, in hindsight, I made my best friends through music always. I was always, like, you know, my first friend that I made, her name was Giselle, and we lived in, like, an apartment complex. She lived in the same complex as me. And we bonded over, like, the Cheetah Girls. Oh. I wanted to be them so bad.
And I loved like, you know, Cinderella like that. It's actually crazy how much I am realizing a lot of these things came to be. I was going to say you manifested the shit. Yeah, I know. I really manifested the shit out of like my fucking life. Then you were Cinderella. Yeah, I know. And I was in a girl group.
But anyway, so like we would, you know, like I would bring the CD or whatever and we would like just dance to it and pretend like we were in a girl group. And then like, you know, when I was in elementary school, it was like we would pretend to be on American Idol. Fuck, I manifested that shit too, I guess. I'm realizing.
And then we were like, I made a like mini girl group with my friends and we were called Lion Girls, Queens of the Jungle, because I love the Cheetah Girls. That's not like, that's not a like musician flex. Yeah. You're like, that's a really good name.
And I remember like this one friend that I had, like my best friend, we would like, I remember during the summers, we would like, we would be on the phone and we would like just be singing on the phone. Like, oh my God, I did like this. That riff sounds so good. Like everything was honestly really tied to music.
Yeah. I loved – I wouldn't even say performing because I was really, really shy. I was like almost – it was like really reserved for my friends. And I remember my friends even say now, they're like, remember when we used to be like, sing, sing? Because I don't know if that was a thing for when it was your age. But I feel like anybody who was like –
There were people that were like, I didn't even know that like she sang. Stop. Cause I was just, I was, I went through different, phases. Like I think there was with some people that I was really funny and class clowny and whatever. And then for most people, I was really, I was like really shy and shy.
You know, I felt like I just I needed a big physical change because I feel like I don't know, my dark hair has been with me for all of my life. I feel like it was just like a big part of how the public saw me, the world saw me, how I saw myself. And I feel like it's just been a year of like the theme has very much been like play and transformation and changing and being brave.
I mean, honestly, I was a huge... I don't know if... I'm curious if you were too, but I was like, you know, like, I was like such a big pop culture fan. Yes, yes. Since I was young. And my friends and I really bonded over that. Like, we didn't love fucking One Direction. We loved One Direction. We loved One Direction. Yeah, we loved One Direction. We wanted to fuck One Direction.
I mean, at that age, we just wanted... I wanted to just kiss them. A kiss. Like, just anything. But, yeah. Even if... at an early age, I wasn't like, I want to be a singer because I think it just wasn't even a thing that I thought of. Like, it was like, bitch, how? Like, you know, like, how will this be a career? Yeah. Like, I don't have anybody that knows anybody.
I'm like in Miami, like nobody fucking, the most that we had was, I don't know if you remember, like when that like person would come on the radio and be like, auditions for Nickelodeon. Yes. Do you want to be the next Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber? And all my friends, I would be like, yeah.
All of my friends and I auditioned and they were like, you are amazing. You're only going to have to pay $15,000 to go to this acting school. And my mom was like, Yeah. Yeah. Scam. But that was like in hindsight, it was always the center of my life was music and singing and writing and whatever. It was always like my obsession.
And I think like One Direction or pop culture was like an extension of that in a different way, in a more probably hormonal, crushy way. But yeah, but I really was like. I need to audition to X Factor and I need to do whatever it takes to make it to at least the point where I meet Harry. Really, all of them, but like... Harry. But really Harry. So, yeah.
No, and Niall is so lovely too. He's like amazing. It's Harry. It's Harry. I just, I was like, I really, really...
that they don't know that you are the girl for them. Like they don't know it, but once they do, there will be no stopping that train. It's crazy how delusional you are at that age.
Oh no, me too. Me too. I'd be like, I would, I would, I remember like going to the concert being like, I have to look incredible. Because for some reason I thought me at 15 years old with like my like insanely terrible like side bang and like, you know, like that he would lock eye and then he would know for some reason. It's crazy. I still have some of that delusion left in me now.
I think it's good delusion though, right? It's fun. It keeps you, it keeps things spicy. It does. On your toes, you know? Oh yeah, 100%. Just like wanting things you can't have. No, delusion is a necessary ingredient, I think, to like my happiness. But I definitely had...
way more at 15 I definitely was like once once he sees me he's he's he's dumping Kendall Jenner he will know he won't even know what hit him when our eyes lock yeah it's like game over baby wifey okay and then I look pictures of myself at that age and I'm like oh my god like I look like such a baby like It was never going to happen. Never going to happen.
But I feel like also the the music is so different, like the world is so different that I don't know, for so many reasons, I was like, I feel like a physical change needs to like accompany that. And then I tried on a few different wigs.
But I joined the what felt to me like at that time, like I was like, oh, my God. Yes. This is happening to me now. No, that's actually so crazy.
Yeah. I mean, like when I remember when we were at X Factor and they started like calling our names up, I was like. I know this fucking story. I have seen it.
I feel like I'm like can really... focus on and remember the really joyful times. And, you know, I grew a lot in that group. And I remember waking up on tour and going to my hotel room at like 7 a.m. and going to my garage band and like writing songs because I didn't want to like you know, do it while everybody was there. And I just like I had such a passion for that turned into writing.
And at first I was like, oh, maybe like I want to write for other people. But then it turned into like, no, actually, like I want to sing these songs by myself. And I started just like distancing myself from I feel like the group vision. And it felt like, you know, they were still like really passionate and into that. And so I just was like, I'm still like not I'm not happy here anymore.
Like it doesn't feel aligned.
Of course it is like, oh, my God. Yeah, it is.