Carly

Hello.

Hello.

It's my husband's. He has a microphone and headphones. I was like, thanks, babe.

It's my husband's. He has a microphone and headphones. I was like, thanks, babe.

I'm in my baby's nursery in this little nook.

I'm in my baby's nursery in this little nook.

He's four months old.

He's four months old.

Thank you. He's tiny.

Thank you. He's tiny.

Yes, the best. So good. When does that change?

Yes, the best. So good. When does that change?

My name's fine, but everyone else will change names. Perfect. Just because.

My name's fine, but everyone else will change names. Perfect. Just because.

Actually, my mom, my name was Sierra. And then she was putting my nursery together and she heard a Carly Simon song. So she changed it. What? My dad came home. He was like, why does her room say Carly now?

Actually, my mom, my name was Sierra. And then she was putting my nursery together and she heard a Carly Simon song. So she changed it. What? My dad came home. He was like, why does her room say Carly now?

I was so excited when I saw the prompt. I was like, yes. So you can't wait to hear Monica go, oh, my God.

I was so excited when I saw the prompt. I was like, yes. So you can't wait to hear Monica go, oh, my God.

No.

No.

Yeah, let's hear it. Yes. So it was in 2013. I was a couple of years out of college. I met. This guy, we won't name him. When I was in college, he just lived in the college town, but he didn't actually go to school. One of those. And he'd sold weed. So that's a big part of the story. He was a dirtbag. Not my proudest boyfriend moment.

Yeah, let's hear it. Yes. So it was in 2013. I was a couple of years out of college. I met. This guy, we won't name him. When I was in college, he just lived in the college town, but he didn't actually go to school. One of those. And he'd sold weed. So that's a big part of the story. He was a dirtbag. Not my proudest boyfriend moment.

He was cute. You know, in college, you're drinking a lot. We met at a party and it was fun. That continued for a couple of years, but it was never great. But yeah, so we eventually broke up. But I should have mentioned this earlier. He was into graffiti. Graffiti gangs are called crews. I don't know if you guys know anything about this. I'm like so embarrassed to tell this story.

He was cute. You know, in college, you're drinking a lot. We met at a party and it was fun. That continued for a couple of years, but it was never great. But yeah, so we eventually broke up. But I should have mentioned this earlier. He was into graffiti. Graffiti gangs are called crews. I don't know if you guys know anything about this. I'm like so embarrassed to tell this story.

But yeah, he was in a crew. He always talked about this one specific other graffiti artist in the area that we're from and how he was like this OG person. And there's something very particular about this person. I won't say what it is about him because I would totally give it away. But he was like, yeah, that guy's so cool. I'm like, all right, cool.

But yeah, he was in a crew. He always talked about this one specific other graffiti artist in the area that we're from and how he was like this OG person. And there's something very particular about this person. I won't say what it is about him because I would totally give it away. But he was like, yeah, that guy's so cool. I'm like, all right, cool.

I love you.

I love you.

On and off for a couple of years. But yeah, we break up and I go to a party in a different town with a completely different group of people, not connected at all. And I end up meeting this guy and we hit it off and then we start dating. Well, it turns out he's like the OG character from another crew. I had no idea at all. Oh my God, you have a type. Yeah, and it was so silly.

On and off for a couple of years. But yeah, we break up and I go to a party in a different town with a completely different group of people, not connected at all. And I end up meeting this guy and we hit it off and then we start dating. Well, it turns out he's like the OG character from another crew. I had no idea at all. Oh my God, you have a type. Yeah, and it was so silly.

I'm like, why did I date both of these people who were into all this bullshit? Anyways, so my ex finds out that I was dating this other cat from another crew and starts to tag my house and tag my work. Oh my God. Tag like all the coffee shops that I go to.

I'm like, why did I date both of these people who were into all this bullshit? Anyways, so my ex finds out that I was dating this other cat from another crew and starts to tag my house and tag my work. Oh my God. Tag like all the coffee shops that I go to.

Really, really icky. And he's tagging sloppy seconds everywhere. That's how we knew it was him. Oh my God. I end up moving. He finds out where my new house is. The cops were involved because at that point in time it was like stalking. But I'd be out with friends and I've always had this weird kind of sixth sense thing. My dad has it too. Something's wrong and we can't really explain it.

Really, really icky. And he's tagging sloppy seconds everywhere. That's how we knew it was him. Oh my God. I end up moving. He finds out where my new house is. The cops were involved because at that point in time it was like stalking. But I'd be out with friends and I've always had this weird kind of sixth sense thing. My dad has it too. Something's wrong and we can't really explain it.

But yeah, I'd be out and I'm like, he's here. And my friends would be like, where at? And I'm like, I don't know, but he's here. I got to go. Wow. And I'd like walk out of the bar and he'd be walking around the corner. Or I'd come out of a coffee shop and he'd be like across the street. New guy, I'm still dating him.

But yeah, I'd be out and I'm like, he's here. And my friends would be like, where at? And I'm like, I don't know, but he's here. I got to go. Wow. And I'd like walk out of the bar and he'd be walking around the corner. Or I'd come out of a coffee shop and he'd be like across the street. New guy, I'm still dating him.

He's getting pissed at this point in time because obviously he cares about me enough to be like, this is really creepy and messed up. So the funniest part about this whole story is these two dumb graffiti crews. Sorry to anyone that's like super into graffiti. I think at this point in time in my life, I'm like, it's so stupid, the crew thing.

He's getting pissed at this point in time because obviously he cares about me enough to be like, this is really creepy and messed up. So the funniest part about this whole story is these two dumb graffiti crews. Sorry to anyone that's like super into graffiti. I think at this point in time in my life, I'm like, it's so stupid, the crew thing.

But they met at a train yard for like an old school rumble.

But they met at a train yard for like an old school rumble.

Yes. And they ended up fighting. Lots of people were involved. Just so dumb. Wow. I couldn't believe it. I was like, really? We're still doing that type of thing?

Yes. And they ended up fighting. Lots of people were involved. Just so dumb. Wow. I couldn't believe it. I was like, really? We're still doing that type of thing?

There's no winners.

There's no winners.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah, I think it got broken up at some point in time, too. I never really got the full inside scoop of things. Was there guns involved?

Yeah, I think it got broken up at some point in time, too. I never really got the full inside scoop of things. Was there guns involved?

Definitely ripping shirts off and wearing white tank tops.

Definitely ripping shirts off and wearing white tank tops.

I'm sad because the second guy, he actually did a lot of really cool legal stuff in the city. And the ex would like go over his legal murals and things that were like funded by nonprofits to beautify our city and whatnot. So I just went from that guy's the coolest OG painter. If you ever meet him, let me know. And then I ended up dating that guy. Oh. That is crazy.

I'm sad because the second guy, he actually did a lot of really cool legal stuff in the city. And the ex would like go over his legal murals and things that were like funded by nonprofits to beautify our city and whatnot. So I just went from that guy's the coolest OG painter. If you ever meet him, let me know. And then I ended up dating that guy. Oh. That is crazy.

That is tough. It was not intentional. And I think he definitely thought it was. And I was like, I didn't know. Yeah. That does seem so bizarre.

That is tough. It was not intentional. And I think he definitely thought it was. And I was like, I didn't know. Yeah. That does seem so bizarre.

Just over time, really. I mean, the cops were involved, so I had like a no contact order. Eventually it sizzled out.

Just over time, really. I mean, the cops were involved, so I had like a no contact order. Eventually it sizzled out.

After that, the sloppy seconds and name calling on the buildings outside of my house got a little bit worse at that point in time.

After that, the sloppy seconds and name calling on the buildings outside of my house got a little bit worse at that point in time.

Leaving tracks.

Leaving tracks.

It was scary. I was young and I lived by myself.

It was scary. I was young and I lived by myself.

Like six years after that. Wow.

Like six years after that. Wow.

No, he's like the most basic nerdy tech guy of all time. In the best way. You have to get it out of your system. Yeah. He's not anything like I used to date. That's for sure.

No, he's like the most basic nerdy tech guy of all time. In the best way. You have to get it out of your system. Yeah. He's not anything like I used to date. That's for sure.

I don't think so. When me and the second guy split up, I moved away from that whole scene. No hard feelings with the second one, actually. We're buddies, but I don't think he ever really got his stuff together. But that was the weirdest thing was he would live in a different city selling stuff all over the place. And so I'd never know if he was here. So that was like another little piece of it.

I don't think so. When me and the second guy split up, I moved away from that whole scene. No hard feelings with the second one, actually. We're buddies, but I don't think he ever really got his stuff together. But that was the weirdest thing was he would live in a different city selling stuff all over the place. And so I'd never know if he was here. So that was like another little piece of it.

A lot.

A lot.

It wasn't ever at the house. It was more like he'd go places with large amounts in his vehicle.

It wasn't ever at the house. It was more like he'd go places with large amounts in his vehicle.

Yeah, bigger amounts of things.

Yeah, bigger amounts of things.

I'm not going to say that I never had a little tag or doodle that I did. I definitely did that. It was kind of fun. But when I see it on a house or a building, I'm like, yeah, you... Clowns, really. Anywhere else, it's cool. And a lot of it is really beautiful and amazing. In our city, there are a lot of very talented people. So, like, no hate on it. But the whole crew beef is beyond me.

I'm not going to say that I never had a little tag or doodle that I did. I definitely did that. It was kind of fun. But when I see it on a house or a building, I'm like, yeah, you... Clowns, really. Anywhere else, it's cool. And a lot of it is really beautiful and amazing. In our city, there are a lot of very talented people. So, like, no hate on it. But the whole crew beef is beyond me.

Wow.

Wow.

I kind of feel the same way. I'm like, that's so disrespectful. Like, go do it on the dumpster.

I kind of feel the same way. I'm like, that's so disrespectful. Like, go do it on the dumpster.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, thanks.

You too. Thank you. I have to give shout outs. They're going to be so upset if I don't. My mom said, I have to tell you that she was very sad that Bless This Mess didn't continue.

You too. Thank you. I have to give shout outs. They're going to be so upset if I don't. My mom said, I have to tell you that she was very sad that Bless This Mess didn't continue.

And Parenthood was her favorite show. She was like, you have to tell Dax. I said, okay, mom. And then my sister and my best friend are also armchairs.

And Parenthood was her favorite show. She was like, you have to tell Dax. I said, okay, mom. And then my sister and my best friend are also armchairs.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks, guys.

Hello.

It's my husband's. He has a microphone and headphones. I was like, thanks, babe.

I'm in my baby's nursery in this little nook.

He's four months old.

Thank you. He's tiny.

Yes, the best. So good. When does that change?

My name's fine, but everyone else will change names. Perfect. Just because.

Actually, my mom, my name was Sierra. And then she was putting my nursery together and she heard a Carly Simon song. So she changed it. What? My dad came home. He was like, why does her room say Carly now?

I was so excited when I saw the prompt. I was like, yes. So you can't wait to hear Monica go, oh, my God.

No.

Yeah, let's hear it. Yes. So it was in 2013. I was a couple of years out of college. I met. This guy, we won't name him. When I was in college, he just lived in the college town, but he didn't actually go to school. One of those. And he'd sold weed. So that's a big part of the story. He was a dirtbag. Not my proudest boyfriend moment.

He was cute. You know, in college, you're drinking a lot. We met at a party and it was fun. That continued for a couple of years, but it was never great. But yeah, so we eventually broke up. But I should have mentioned this earlier. He was into graffiti. Graffiti gangs are called crews. I don't know if you guys know anything about this. I'm like so embarrassed to tell this story.

But yeah, he was in a crew. He always talked about this one specific other graffiti artist in the area that we're from and how he was like this OG person. And there's something very particular about this person. I won't say what it is about him because I would totally give it away. But he was like, yeah, that guy's so cool. I'm like, all right, cool.

I love you.

On and off for a couple of years. But yeah, we break up and I go to a party in a different town with a completely different group of people, not connected at all. And I end up meeting this guy and we hit it off and then we start dating. Well, it turns out he's like the OG character from another crew. I had no idea at all. Oh my God, you have a type. Yeah, and it was so silly.

I'm like, why did I date both of these people who were into all this bullshit? Anyways, so my ex finds out that I was dating this other cat from another crew and starts to tag my house and tag my work. Oh my God. Tag like all the coffee shops that I go to.

Really, really icky. And he's tagging sloppy seconds everywhere. That's how we knew it was him. Oh my God. I end up moving. He finds out where my new house is. The cops were involved because at that point in time it was like stalking. But I'd be out with friends and I've always had this weird kind of sixth sense thing. My dad has it too. Something's wrong and we can't really explain it.

But yeah, I'd be out and I'm like, he's here. And my friends would be like, where at? And I'm like, I don't know, but he's here. I got to go. Wow. And I'd like walk out of the bar and he'd be walking around the corner. Or I'd come out of a coffee shop and he'd be like across the street. New guy, I'm still dating him.

He's getting pissed at this point in time because obviously he cares about me enough to be like, this is really creepy and messed up. So the funniest part about this whole story is these two dumb graffiti crews. Sorry to anyone that's like super into graffiti. I think at this point in time in my life, I'm like, it's so stupid, the crew thing.

But they met at a train yard for like an old school rumble.

Yes. And they ended up fighting. Lots of people were involved. Just so dumb. Wow. I couldn't believe it. I was like, really? We're still doing that type of thing?

There's no winners.

Okay.

Yeah, I think it got broken up at some point in time, too. I never really got the full inside scoop of things. Was there guns involved?

Definitely ripping shirts off and wearing white tank tops.

I'm sad because the second guy, he actually did a lot of really cool legal stuff in the city. And the ex would like go over his legal murals and things that were like funded by nonprofits to beautify our city and whatnot. So I just went from that guy's the coolest OG painter. If you ever meet him, let me know. And then I ended up dating that guy. Oh. That is crazy.

That is tough. It was not intentional. And I think he definitely thought it was. And I was like, I didn't know. Yeah. That does seem so bizarre.

Just over time, really. I mean, the cops were involved, so I had like a no contact order. Eventually it sizzled out.

After that, the sloppy seconds and name calling on the buildings outside of my house got a little bit worse at that point in time.

Leaving tracks.

It was scary. I was young and I lived by myself.

Like six years after that. Wow.

No, he's like the most basic nerdy tech guy of all time. In the best way. You have to get it out of your system. Yeah. He's not anything like I used to date. That's for sure.

I don't think so. When me and the second guy split up, I moved away from that whole scene. No hard feelings with the second one, actually. We're buddies, but I don't think he ever really got his stuff together. But that was the weirdest thing was he would live in a different city selling stuff all over the place. And so I'd never know if he was here. So that was like another little piece of it.

A lot.

It wasn't ever at the house. It was more like he'd go places with large amounts in his vehicle.

Yeah, bigger amounts of things.

I'm not going to say that I never had a little tag or doodle that I did. I definitely did that. It was kind of fun. But when I see it on a house or a building, I'm like, yeah, you... Clowns, really. Anywhere else, it's cool. And a lot of it is really beautiful and amazing. In our city, there are a lot of very talented people. So, like, no hate on it. But the whole crew beef is beyond me.

Wow.

I kind of feel the same way. I'm like, that's so disrespectful. Like, go do it on the dumpster.

Yeah.

Oh, thanks.

You too. Thank you. I have to give shout outs. They're going to be so upset if I don't. My mom said, I have to tell you that she was very sad that Bless This Mess didn't continue.

And Parenthood was her favorite show. She was like, you have to tell Dax. I said, okay, mom. And then my sister and my best friend are also armchairs.

Thanks, guys.

Because they were supposed to go out on Friday.

Because they were supposed to go out on Friday.

I didn't even remember that. It's a coincidence. Come on.

I didn't even remember that. It's a coincidence. Come on.

Okay, you guys are reading way too much into this. Like, can we just get on with the gift card thing?

Okay, you guys are reading way too much into this. Like, can we just get on with the gift card thing?

No, I don't do crypto. She has standards.

No, I don't do crypto. She has standards.

Hey, everybody.

Hey, everybody.

His name is Blaine. I was at Topgolf with some friends. I was there for a friend's birthday party.

His name is Blaine. I was at Topgolf with some friends. I was there for a friend's birthday party.

So, like, he was there with a group of guys, and he were in, like, the next stall over. So we were just talking when it wasn't our turn, and, like, we hit it off. Cute.

So, like, he was there with a group of guys, and he were in, like, the next stall over. So we were just talking when it wasn't our turn, and, like, we hit it off. Cute.

So like how, yeah, how he asked me out, I thought it was kind of cute because he gave me his number on a golf ball. Like he wrote it on there with the Sharpies. Oh, that's cool.

So like how, yeah, how he asked me out, I thought it was kind of cute because he gave me his number on a golf ball. Like he wrote it on there with the Sharpies. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, we said we were going to hang out next Friday. So we kind of planned that even before we left. But then we were texting and I was like, I wanted to see him sooner. So I moved it up to Tuesday.

Yeah, we said we were going to hang out next Friday. So we kind of planned that even before we left. But then we were texting and I was like, I wanted to see him sooner. So I moved it up to Tuesday.

All right.

All right.

Yeah, it was a really good date. I got to know a lot about him, like, where he grew up and, like, what's important in his life. And, you know, he's into sports and animals. I love animals, so. Okay.

Yeah, it was a really good date. I got to know a lot about him, like, where he grew up and, like, what's important in his life. And, you know, he's into sports and animals. I love animals, so. Okay.

Yeah, like, dinner drinks.

Yeah, like, dinner drinks.

Okay.

Okay.

I mean, I felt great. Like, he seems like a really great, caring guy. Aw. And we did end up kissing. Ooh.

I mean, I felt great. Like, he seems like a really great, caring guy. Aw. And we did end up kissing. Ooh.

Oh, it was really good.

Oh, it was really good.

Yeah, I mean, you know, like sometimes when your friends will ask you out to some expensive place and you're just not in a place to do that. So I just wanted to be honest and let him know where I was at. So I did tell him that I was a little short on my rent this month.

Yeah, I mean, you know, like sometimes when your friends will ask you out to some expensive place and you're just not in a place to do that. So I just wanted to be honest and let him know where I was at. So I did tell him that I was a little short on my rent this month.

yeah he paid for dinner okay she's just sharing i think she's trying to like be honest and be like i'm in a vulnerable place i totally get that i'm just curious how you brought it up like is it seems so out of the blue yeah i mean we were just like talked about the date and then we were talking about like well what's your week like and what are you doing and i was just feeling a little stressed because of this and so like it was just sharing like general stuff no that sounds a

yeah he paid for dinner okay she's just sharing i think she's trying to like be honest and be like i'm in a vulnerable place i totally get that i'm just curious how you brought it up like is it seems so out of the blue yeah i mean we were just like talked about the date and then we were talking about like well what's your week like and what are you doing and i was just feeling a little stressed because of this and so like it was just sharing like general stuff no that sounds a

He was, like, really sweet, and he did send me a little bit of money. Really? Sounds like he's an amazing guy who cares. I mean, we've been on one date. I wasn't expecting him to do anything.

He was, like, really sweet, and he did send me a little bit of money. Really? Sounds like he's an amazing guy who cares. I mean, we've been on one date. I wasn't expecting him to do anything.

Yeah, and then we were supposed to go out again, and now he's just not responding. Huh.

Yeah, and then we were supposed to go out again, and now he's just not responding. Huh.

Yeah, he didn't say it was a loan.

Yeah, he didn't say it was a loan.

I don't know. I mean, like, it might have made it weird, but I really, like, I... I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, like, it might have made it weird, but I really, like, I... I don't know.

Yeah, but I really like him. So, I mean, like, I'd just be really bummed if that's the reason, you know?

Yeah, but I really like him. So, I mean, like, I'd just be really bummed if that's the reason, you know?

Hey, yeah, I'm here. I mean, you're acting like it's a big deal to ask a question. Like I was, you know, and I didn't even ask a question. I was just informing, like I just told him I was still short.

Hey, yeah, I'm here. I mean, you're acting like it's a big deal to ask a question. Like I was, you know, and I didn't even ask a question. I was just informing, like I just told him I was still short.

Who has to go to work? I mean, like, nobody does. I don't want to.

Who has to go to work? I mean, like, nobody does. I don't want to.

I feel like you're not wrong. I agree with you guys. I do think. And when you put a scent on, it does change like different body chemistries. So fair enough.

I feel like you're not wrong. I agree with you guys. I do think. And when you put a scent on, it does change like different body chemistries. So fair enough.

You had me up until there. I don't know. Now I'm getting, like, creeped by it.

You had me up until there. I don't know. Now I'm getting, like, creeped by it.

I'll wear my ex-boyfriend's cologne. Oh. Perfect.

I'll wear my ex-boyfriend's cologne. Oh. Perfect.

That is actually. I'll wear it.

That is actually. I'll wear it.

I guess so.

I guess so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, we met on a dating app.

Yeah, we met on a dating app.

No.

No.

Nope.

Nope.

Yeah, it was revealed like midway through the date.

Yeah, it was revealed like midway through the date.

Yeah, so initially his one-liner joke to me about he was the world's okay-est cook. And he had a picture of burnt grilled cheese.

Yeah, so initially his one-liner joke to me about he was the world's okay-est cook. And he had a picture of burnt grilled cheese.

It did not. No. Oh, OK.

It did not. No. Oh, OK.

So, I mean, you know, we've been dating for like 10, 11 days, like not super long. I mean, talking, right? Yeah, we were talking, texting, you know, 10, 11 days. OK.

So, I mean, you know, we've been dating for like 10, 11 days, like not super long. I mean, talking, right? Yeah, we were talking, texting, you know, 10, 11 days. OK.

Well, we decided to meet up for dinner, and we went to Steak and Shake.

Well, we decided to meet up for dinner, and we went to Steak and Shake.

No, I was OK with it. I mean, he burns grilled cheese. So, you know, low standards.

No, I was OK with it. I mean, he burns grilled cheese. So, you know, low standards.

It was really good. He was super funny, super sweet. He held the door. He was like pulling out my chair.

It was really good. He was super funny, super sweet. He held the door. He was like pulling out my chair.

Yeah, no, I'm old school.

Yeah, no, I'm old school.

I did, for sure.

I did, for sure.

Well, he just randomly was like, I collect rubber ducks.

Well, he just randomly was like, I collect rubber ducks.

That's random.

That's random.

I was kind of like weirded out. I was like, what? And then he said he keeps them for emotional support. Oh.

I was kind of like weirded out. I was like, what? And then he said he keeps them for emotional support. Oh.

I didn't know that you could do that.

I didn't know that you could do that.

Yeah, he was like, it was a joke. He was just kidding.

Yeah, he was like, it was a joke. He was just kidding.

But that was a joke.

But that was a joke.

Yeah, no, he has rubber ducks.

Yeah, no, he has rubber ducks.

Yeah, he had some, like, super funny one-liners like that one, and I laughed so hard that I snorted. Oh.

Yeah, he had some, like, super funny one-liners like that one, and I laughed so hard that I snorted. Oh.

Okay.

Okay.

And he kind of looked at me, like, really crazy when I did. And I was like, oh.

And he kind of looked at me, like, really crazy when I did. And I was like, oh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know. Oh, no. Listen, he still walked me to my car and, like, kissed me and everything. Oh.

I don't know. Oh, no. Listen, he still walked me to my car and, like, kissed me and everything. Oh.

The texting is just not the same. Like, I'm just getting those like little texts here and there. And he's just kind of putting no effort to little effort into things.

The texting is just not the same. Like, I'm just getting those like little texts here and there. And he's just kind of putting no effort to little effort into things.

I hope not. Yeah.

I hope not. Yeah.

I feel pretty low, but not as low as you think I do.

I feel pretty low, but not as low as you think I do.

Thank you guys. I really hope you can get another date for me. All right.

Thank you guys. I really hope you can get another date for me. All right.

I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone. I heard that.

I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone. I heard that.

That is so weird. He didn't know. Ethan, the same as your ex? Are you for real?

That is so weird. He didn't know. Ethan, the same as your ex? Are you for real?

Yeah, well, I am, and that's disturbing. Like, why? Like, okay, seriously, Brooke, Alexis, can you guys help me out on this?

Yeah, well, I am, and that's disturbing. Like, why? Like, okay, seriously, Brooke, Alexis, can you guys help me out on this?

I'm trying. I'm really trying to be open about this. But like, I also, I feel like when you smell a smell, you associate it with whoever was wearing it.

I'm trying. I'm really trying to be open about this. But like, I also, I feel like when you smell a smell, you associate it with whoever was wearing it.

I feel like you're not wrong. I agree with you guys. I do think. And when you put a scent on, it does change like different body chemistries. So fair enough.

You had me up until there. I don't know. Now I'm getting, like, creeped by it.

I'll wear my ex-boyfriend's cologne. Oh. Perfect.

That is actually. I'll wear it.

I guess so.

Yeah.

Yeah, we met on a dating app.

No.

Nope.

Yeah, it was revealed like midway through the date.

Yeah, so initially his one-liner joke to me about he was the world's okay-est cook. And he had a picture of burnt grilled cheese.

It did not. No. Oh, OK.

So, I mean, you know, we've been dating for like 10, 11 days, like not super long. I mean, talking, right? Yeah, we were talking, texting, you know, 10, 11 days. OK.

Well, we decided to meet up for dinner, and we went to Steak and Shake.

No, I was OK with it. I mean, he burns grilled cheese. So, you know, low standards.

It was really good. He was super funny, super sweet. He held the door. He was like pulling out my chair.

Yeah, no, I'm old school.

I did, for sure.

Well, he just randomly was like, I collect rubber ducks.

That's random.

I was kind of like weirded out. I was like, what? And then he said he keeps them for emotional support. Oh.

I didn't know that you could do that.

Yeah, he was like, it was a joke. He was just kidding.

But that was a joke.

Yeah, no, he has rubber ducks.

Yeah, he had some, like, super funny one-liners like that one, and I laughed so hard that I snorted. Oh.

Okay.

And he kind of looked at me, like, really crazy when I did. And I was like, oh.

Yeah.

I don't know. Oh, no. Listen, he still walked me to my car and, like, kissed me and everything. Oh.

The texting is just not the same. Like, I'm just getting those like little texts here and there. And he's just kind of putting no effort to little effort into things.

I hope not. Yeah.

I feel pretty low, but not as low as you think I do.

Thank you guys. I really hope you can get another date for me. All right.

I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone. I heard that.

That is so weird. He didn't know. Ethan, the same as your ex? Are you for real?

Yeah, well, I am, and that's disturbing. Like, why? Like, okay, seriously, Brooke, Alexis, can you guys help me out on this?

I'm trying. I'm really trying to be open about this. But like, I also, I feel like when you smell a smell, you associate it with whoever was wearing it.

Because they were supposed to go out on Friday.

I didn't even remember that. It's a coincidence. Come on.

Okay, you guys are reading way too much into this. Like, can we just get on with the gift card thing?

No, I don't do crypto. She has standards.

Hey, everybody.

His name is Blaine. I was at Topgolf with some friends. I was there for a friend's birthday party.

So, like, he was there with a group of guys, and he were in, like, the next stall over. So we were just talking when it wasn't our turn, and, like, we hit it off. Cute.

So like how, yeah, how he asked me out, I thought it was kind of cute because he gave me his number on a golf ball. Like he wrote it on there with the Sharpies. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, we said we were going to hang out next Friday. So we kind of planned that even before we left. But then we were texting and I was like, I wanted to see him sooner. So I moved it up to Tuesday.

All right.

Yeah, it was a really good date. I got to know a lot about him, like, where he grew up and, like, what's important in his life. And, you know, he's into sports and animals. I love animals, so. Okay.

Yeah, like, dinner drinks.

Okay.

I mean, I felt great. Like, he seems like a really great, caring guy. Aw. And we did end up kissing. Ooh.

Oh, it was really good.

Yeah, I mean, you know, like sometimes when your friends will ask you out to some expensive place and you're just not in a place to do that. So I just wanted to be honest and let him know where I was at. So I did tell him that I was a little short on my rent this month.

yeah he paid for dinner okay she's just sharing i think she's trying to like be honest and be like i'm in a vulnerable place i totally get that i'm just curious how you brought it up like is it seems so out of the blue yeah i mean we were just like talked about the date and then we were talking about like well what's your week like and what are you doing and i was just feeling a little stressed because of this and so like it was just sharing like general stuff no that sounds a

He was, like, really sweet, and he did send me a little bit of money. Really? Sounds like he's an amazing guy who cares. I mean, we've been on one date. I wasn't expecting him to do anything.

Yeah, and then we were supposed to go out again, and now he's just not responding. Huh.

Yeah, he didn't say it was a loan.

I don't know. I mean, like, it might have made it weird, but I really, like, I... I don't know.

Yeah, but I really like him. So, I mean, like, I'd just be really bummed if that's the reason, you know?

Hey, yeah, I'm here. I mean, you're acting like it's a big deal to ask a question. Like I was, you know, and I didn't even ask a question. I was just informing, like I just told him I was still short.

Who has to go to work? I mean, like, nobody does. I don't want to.

Hi. So my question is, my mom just paid off my brother's credit card debt, which is about $70,000. What? Yeah, I know. I know. I know. And you would have thoughts on that. I do too. I begged her not to do it, but that's what happened. She's offering to give me the same amount of money to be fair, I guess. We're equal. It's just the two siblings. And I'm conflicted about whether to take the money.

Hi. So my question is, my mom just paid off my brother's credit card debt, which is about $70,000. What? Yeah, I know. I know. I know. And you would have thoughts on that. I do too. I begged her not to do it, but that's what happened. She's offering to give me the same amount of money to be fair, I guess. We're equal. It's just the two siblings. And I'm conflicted about whether to take the money.

Are there strings attached?

Are there strings attached?

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

She does. She can afford to do it. I think she feels guilty for giving him the money because I think she knows she shouldn't have.

She does. She can afford to do it. I think she feels guilty for giving him the money because I think she knows she shouldn't have.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes. She came to me. Yeah.

Yes. She came to me. Yeah.

Could you use 70 grand right now?

Could you use 70 grand right now?

Right. I mean, we have three kids. Obviously, it would be helpful, but we're not... You weren't asking for it.

Right. I mean, we have three kids. Obviously, it would be helpful, but we're not... You weren't asking for it.

don't do that i didn't say no i just i just felt like conflicted about it because i because also my brother does not have a lot of um doesn't have a high earning potential like he just doesn't have that's not your fault the situation that i'm in with my husband and my kids it's not your fault okay you didn't cause any of this you just showed up to the party in the dna pool

don't do that i didn't say no i just i just felt like conflicted about it because i because also my brother does not have a lot of um doesn't have a high earning potential like he just doesn't have that's not your fault the situation that i'm in with my husband and my kids it's not your fault okay you didn't cause any of this you just showed up to the party in the dna pool

Yes.

Yes.

You know... a little bit, a little bit. There's like a lot of backstory here. Yeah. A little bit. I mean, I love him and I want to help him and I feel like we've done everything we can and he's just not taking the help. So it's hard. Yeah.

You know... a little bit, a little bit. There's like a lot of backstory here. Yeah. A little bit. I mean, I love him and I want to help him and I feel like we've done everything we can and he's just not taking the help. So it's hard. Yeah.

Hi. So my question is, my mom just paid off my brother's credit card debt, which is about $70,000. What? Yeah, I know. I know. I know. And you would have thoughts on that. I do too. I begged her not to do it, but that's what happened. She's offering to give me the same amount of money to be fair, I guess. We're equal. It's just the two siblings. And I'm conflicted about whether to take the money.

Are there strings attached?

No, no, no.

She does. She can afford to do it. I think she feels guilty for giving him the money because I think she knows she shouldn't have.

Yeah.

Yes. She came to me. Yeah.

Could you use 70 grand right now?

Right. I mean, we have three kids. Obviously, it would be helpful, but we're not... You weren't asking for it.

don't do that i didn't say no i just i just felt like conflicted about it because i because also my brother does not have a lot of um doesn't have a high earning potential like he just doesn't have that's not your fault the situation that i'm in with my husband and my kids it's not your fault okay you didn't cause any of this you just showed up to the party in the dna pool

Yes.

You know... a little bit, a little bit. There's like a lot of backstory here. Yeah. A little bit. I mean, I love him and I want to help him and I feel like we've done everything we can and he's just not taking the help. So it's hard. Yeah.

Hi, my name's Carly. I'm 26 years old and I wanted to know if the D1 quarterback athlete I was talking to was manipulating me or am I just being dramatic?

Hi, my name's Carly. I'm 26 years old and I wanted to know if the D1 quarterback athlete I was talking to was manipulating me or am I just being dramatic?

Okay. So, yeah. So he's like in his last year, like kind of like grad moment trying to make it type of deal. So he's 22 and we got connected through Snapchat. You know, let me get your Snapchat, which immediately should have been like whatever. But he was just like, what's your Snapchat? And I was like, OK, cool. Like we were at the bars. It wasn't a big deal. That's how we started talking.

Okay. So, yeah. So he's like in his last year, like kind of like grad moment trying to make it type of deal. So he's 22 and we got connected through Snapchat. You know, let me get your Snapchat, which immediately should have been like whatever. But he was just like, what's your Snapchat? And I was like, OK, cool. Like we were at the bars. It wasn't a big deal. That's how we started talking.

We talked for a while and then I had to go back up to that school to see a friend, went there, hung out with him. We did like hang out for the whole day pretty much. And then we ended up like hooking up. But after that it was, and I knew that I wasn't like trying to get into anything serious or anything like that, but yeah.

We talked for a while and then I had to go back up to that school to see a friend, went there, hung out with him. We did like hang out for the whole day pretty much. And then we ended up like hooking up. But after that it was, and I knew that I wasn't like trying to get into anything serious or anything like that, but yeah.

After that, we started talking a lot more consistently, like chatting all day, every day. And mind you, this is like an important part of the story. Our messaging was through Snapchat at this time. He had asked for my number, but when we were talking like the, hey, good mornings, hey, everything, it was through Snapchat. It wasn't pictures, but it was like through the chat function.

After that, we started talking a lot more consistently, like chatting all day, every day. And mind you, this is like an important part of the story. Our messaging was through Snapchat at this time. He had asked for my number, but when we were talking like the, hey, good mornings, hey, everything, it was through Snapchat. It wasn't pictures, but it was like through the chat function.

So like we weren't using Snapchat as what Snapchat was really used for. Here and there, we would send like pictures of like whatever, but it was mostly used for the texting function, even though he had my number, whatever. but he would call me through regular number FaceTime through our regular phone numbers. But our like messaging was through Snapchat.

So like we weren't using Snapchat as what Snapchat was really used for. Here and there, we would send like pictures of like whatever, but it was mostly used for the texting function, even though he had my number, whatever. but he would call me through regular number FaceTime through our regular phone numbers. But our like messaging was through Snapchat.

Did you say why?

Did you say why?

yeah fair so one my intentions at first it was just like in my eyes it was like oh like duh like it's he's an athlete like i have no expectation it was more fun he was really cool he hit it off because he's like you're like a i don't give a fuck kind of girl like you're older like you don't like he made it seem like all these girls were obsessed with him and i was the only one that was kind of like yeah like you're cool like we'll hang out but i never was like i never gave him like what do you mean that i was like what do you mean he made it seem

yeah fair so one my intentions at first it was just like in my eyes it was like oh like duh like it's he's an athlete like i have no expectation it was more fun he was really cool he hit it off because he's like you're like a i don't give a fuck kind of girl like you're older like you don't like he made it seem like all these girls were obsessed with him and i was the only one that was kind of like yeah like you're cool like we'll hang out but i never was like i never gave him like what do you mean that i was like what do you mean he made it seem

Yeah. He would say like, oh, like I'm not used to like girls, like not like snap, like talking to me right away or answering my calls or like begging to hang out. Like you're not like that. You have like your own stuff going.

Yeah. He would say like, oh, like I'm not used to like girls, like not like snap, like talking to me right away or answering my calls or like begging to hang out. Like you're not like that. You have like your own stuff going.

No, at that time, I like really believed it. And then kind of fast forward everything. We were talking a lot, hanging out a lot. And then he got moved to a different team. So it all kind of changed. He got moved, transferred to a different team, all of that. And our...

No, at that time, I like really believed it. And then kind of fast forward everything. We were talking a lot, hanging out a lot. And then he got moved to a different team. So it all kind of changed. He got moved, transferred to a different team, all of that. And our...

conversation kind of died down a little bit like for a long time for like two three months he was begging to hang out seeing me like all that kind of stuff sure and then he moved he moved there and again with this this snapchat thing to know you guys are talking to each other the most this sounds so stupid as a 26 year old saying this i know that now

conversation kind of died down a little bit like for a long time for like two three months he was begging to hang out seeing me like all that kind of stuff sure and then he moved he moved there and again with this this snapchat thing to know you guys are talking to each other the most this sounds so stupid as a 26 year old saying this i know that now

Um, you have like a heart, like a, like a streak or something or whatever, you know? Yeah. That shows that we both talk to each other the most.

Um, you have like a heart, like a, like a streak or something or whatever, you know? Yeah. That shows that we both talk to each other the most.

Well, we had a conversation because, you know, he moved and all of that and we weren't talking as much. And I was like, I knew that it wasn't really going anywhere, but just because of who he is, he would mention that, you know, all these girls that he like used to talk to and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then I was like, okay, cool. Obviously, you're really busy. You're going through a lot.

Well, we had a conversation because, you know, he moved and all of that and we weren't talking as much. And I was like, I knew that it wasn't really going anywhere, but just because of who he is, he would mention that, you know, all these girls that he like used to talk to and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then I was like, okay, cool. Obviously, you're really busy. You're going through a lot.

You just transferred to a new team. And that's totally cool. There just doesn't really seem like there's a place for us right now. And I was okay with that at the time. I knew what I was getting into before I got into it. I had a crush on him, but I didn't know him enough to be like, I want to date you. I want to make this something more. And in my head, I also knew even if I wanted that,

You just transferred to a new team. And that's totally cool. There just doesn't really seem like there's a place for us right now. And I was okay with that at the time. I knew what I was getting into before I got into it. I had a crush on him, but I didn't know him enough to be like, I want to date you. I want to make this something more. And in my head, I also knew even if I wanted that,

him being 22 him just kind of the ego that he has recognizing that and almost that's okay like you're 22 you're an athlete you have a lot of you know availability to you i was like i just don't even if i wanted to date you i knew what i was i knew that where it was going okay So I wasn't trying to fight for the relationship. I wasn't like, Hey, I really like you. I'd like to be exclusive.

him being 22 him just kind of the ego that he has recognizing that and almost that's okay like you're 22 you're an athlete you have a lot of you know availability to you i was like i just don't even if i wanted to date you i knew what i was i knew that where it was going okay So I wasn't trying to fight for the relationship. I wasn't like, Hey, I really like you. I'd like to be exclusive.

Like, because I knew even if I put that, I just, I'm 26. I know at this point where that was going to go. So I just said, Hey, you know, you seem really busy because like I said, we were, everything was consistent for a while until he moved four hours away to a new team. And I was like, you're really, and he kept saying, I'm really busy. I'm really busy.

Like, because I knew even if I put that, I just, I'm 26. I know at this point where that was going to go. So I just said, Hey, you know, you seem really busy because like I said, we were, everything was consistent for a while until he moved four hours away to a new team. And I was like, you're really, and he kept saying, I'm really busy. I'm really busy.

And in my head, I'm like, no one's ever that busy. And then he kept saying, well, you've never talked to an athlete before. So you don't know what, what it's like. When I say I'm busy, it's not just a regular guy. I'm busy. It's, I have all these practices I have. And then when I get home, I don't always want to talk to someone. So like you say there are excuses. But they're not excuses.

And in my head, I'm like, no one's ever that busy. And then he kept saying, well, you've never talked to an athlete before. So you don't know what, what it's like. When I say I'm busy, it's not just a regular guy. I'm busy. It's, I have all these practices I have. And then when I get home, I don't always want to talk to someone. So like you say there are excuses. But they're not excuses.

And in my head, I'm like, I feel like they're still excuses because like you didn't have two seconds to like call. And like, I'm not trying to be needy. I wasn't trying to like tell him what to do. But in my head, when someone wants to talk to you, they will, even if it's a little, hey, I had a really busy day. I'd love to call you later or I'll talk to you tomorrow. I've had a really busy day.

And in my head, I'm like, I feel like they're still excuses because like you didn't have two seconds to like call. And like, I'm not trying to be needy. I wasn't trying to like tell him what to do. But in my head, when someone wants to talk to you, they will, even if it's a little, hey, I had a really busy day. I'd love to call you later or I'll talk to you tomorrow. I've had a really busy day.

It's just a little bit of communication goes a long way. But in his head, it's like he wants to do it his way. So I tried to like and that was fine. He wasn't getting what I was saying. And I'm not going to like argue with someone to make someone call me or text me. So I was just like, hey, no big deal. You seem really busy. You have a lot going on.

It's just a little bit of communication goes a long way. But in his head, it's like he wants to do it his way. So I tried to like and that was fine. He wasn't getting what I was saying. And I'm not going to like argue with someone to make someone call me or text me. So I was just like, hey, no big deal. You seem really busy. You have a lot going on.

I just think that it's best if we go our own ways. And like he immediately responded and he was like, well, I didn't see that coming. Like they're not excuses. Like you keep saying they're excuses and they're not.

I just think that it's best if we go our own ways. And like he immediately responded and he was like, well, I didn't see that coming. Like they're not excuses. Like you keep saying they're excuses and they're not.

So from there, I was like, okay, maybe you're, maybe you're being genuine. Like, I don't know. I've never talked to an athlete before. So I have no idea exactly how rigorous your schedule are. You are there. You seem busy. These he's in, he goes to a really good school for football. So like, I felt like I, maybe I was wrong. So that happened.

So from there, I was like, okay, maybe you're, maybe you're being genuine. Like, I don't know. I've never talked to an athlete before. So I have no idea exactly how rigorous your schedule are. You are there. You seem busy. These he's in, he goes to a really good school for football. So like, I felt like I, maybe I was wrong. So that happened.

And then I still, there were signs and there was feelings in me that was like, I feel like he's talking to someone else because like,

And then I still, there were signs and there was feelings in me that was like, I feel like he's talking to someone else because like,

the communication slows down you don't ask to hang out for a month like all these little signs that kind of i knew in my gut weren't just i'm busy and then i kind of let it go i was just like i'm just gonna see how things go i'm not gonna like bother him like much i'm just gonna let like play it out that's when i think the text that i sent in we the snapchat heart disappeared which means he was talking to someone way more than he was talking to me okay and in my head i was like boom okay

the communication slows down you don't ask to hang out for a month like all these little signs that kind of i knew in my gut weren't just i'm busy and then i kind of let it go i was just like i'm just gonna see how things go i'm not gonna like bother him like much i'm just gonna let like play it out that's when i think the text that i sent in we the snapchat heart disappeared which means he was talking to someone way more than he was talking to me okay and in my head i was like boom okay

everything that I knew is kind of clicking together. And that's when the texts come in about him saying, you know, how dare a 26 year old act like this. I sent you a thousand dollars for Valentine's day. I sent you flowers, like all of these things. Like I always send you money when you go out to go eat.

everything that I knew is kind of clicking together. And that's when the texts come in about him saying, you know, how dare a 26 year old act like this. I sent you a thousand dollars for Valentine's day. I sent you flowers, like all of these things. Like I always send you money when you go out to go eat.

Like I always like try to give you these little things to show you that like, I still like fuck with you. And so he just kept saying, I can't believe you're ending this over a Snapchat heart, like a Snapchat heart. You really cared that much about a Snapchat heart. And I'm like, it's not about the Snapchat heart. That was just like the cherry on top of what I already knew.

Like I always like try to give you these little things to show you that like, I still like fuck with you. And so he just kept saying, I can't believe you're ending this over a Snapchat heart, like a Snapchat heart. You really cared that much about a Snapchat heart. And I'm like, it's not about the Snapchat heart. That was just like the cherry on top of what I already knew.

And he just kept saying over and over in the text messages. And I kind of kept just saying, it's not about the heart. I wasn't going on and on. I was just saying, it's not about the heart. And he was like, you're crazy that you're a 26 year old and you're acting like this. You know, you're being crazy right now. You know that you're overreacting, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And he just kept saying over and over in the text messages. And I kind of kept just saying, it's not about the heart. I wasn't going on and on. I was just saying, it's not about the heart. And he was like, you're crazy that you're a 26 year old and you're acting like this. You know, you're being crazy right now. You know that you're overreacting, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, does he really think this is about a Snapchat hurt? Like, it's not. It's just confirming what I knew. And then fast forward where we are today. He kind of blew up my phone a little bit about it. And I was like, he's not getting it. This is not about the Snapchat hurt. I'm not going to keep going back and forth the conversation to try to tell you it's not about a Snapchat hurt.

And I was like, does he really think this is about a Snapchat hurt? Like, it's not. It's just confirming what I knew. And then fast forward where we are today. He kind of blew up my phone a little bit about it. And I was like, he's not getting it. This is not about the Snapchat hurt. I'm not going to keep going back and forth the conversation to try to tell you it's not about a Snapchat hurt.

You know it's not. And then I let two days go by. I didn't respond to his texts. He stopped texting me. He stopped calling me because he was trying to when that all happened. And I just called him because I was like in my head, I was, it was kind of my ego, but I was like, I don't want him to think that I'm immature. And I ended this over a Snapchat heart.

You know it's not. And then I let two days go by. I didn't respond to his texts. He stopped texting me. He stopped calling me because he was trying to when that all happened. And I just called him because I was like in my head, I was, it was kind of my ego, but I was like, I don't want him to think that I'm immature. And I ended this over a Snapchat heart.

Like I want him to know why I was like over it. And then I called him and he was like, you know, you were being ridiculous. It's not about the Snapchat heart. I am going through a lot. Like I really care about you. I really like want to like see where things go. I see a future with you and stuff like, You're really cool. Like you're someone I want to talk to.

Like I want him to know why I was like over it. And then I called him and he was like, you know, you were being ridiculous. It's not about the Snapchat heart. I am going through a lot. Like I really care about you. I really like want to like see where things go. I see a future with you and stuff like, You're really cool. Like you're someone I want to talk to.

It's just, I hate the team that I've transferred to. I don't fuck with anybody here. Everyone sucks. I'm going through a lot with my family, like everything in my life. It just feels like it's going on and on. And then like you, and then you were like my piece of things. Like I felt like we didn't have any issues.

It's just, I hate the team that I've transferred to. I don't fuck with anybody here. Everyone sucks. I'm going through a lot with my family, like everything in my life. It just feels like it's going on and on. And then like you, and then you were like my piece of things. Like I felt like we didn't have any issues.

And then randomly you just like blew up on me about this Snapchat heart and freaking out about this stuff. And then basically you, He wanted me to recognize that I was being dramatic about the heart and about everything. And he even said, oh, you wanted that YSL purse. I wouldn't even have gotten that for a girlfriend.

And then randomly you just like blew up on me about this Snapchat heart and freaking out about this stuff. And then basically you, He wanted me to recognize that I was being dramatic about the heart and about everything. And he even said, oh, you wanted that YSL purse. I wouldn't even have gotten that for a girlfriend.

I was going to give you the $800 because he had given me $1,000 for Valentine's Day just because. And the YSL purse that I wanted is like $1,800. And he was like, well, I was going to give you the $800 more. And then you pulled that bullshit on me. But you're working your way up. And obviously, we've been talking since then. He was like, but you're working your way up.

I was going to give you the $800 because he had given me $1,000 for Valentine's Day just because. And the YSL purse that I wanted is like $1,800. And he was like, well, I was going to give you the $800 more. And then you pulled that bullshit on me. But you're working your way up. And obviously, we've been talking since then. He was like, but you're working your way up.

Yeah. And part of me, we have a very joking relationship. So part of me was like, is he like, just like, Oh, like, don't worry. Like you're, you're getting back there. Like, but in my head, I feel like he genuinely thinks that like I was being dramatic.

Yeah. And part of me, we have a very joking relationship. So part of me was like, is he like, just like, Oh, like, don't worry. Like you're, you're getting back there. Like, but in my head, I feel like he genuinely thinks that like I was being dramatic.

Not like fully, but I think that if I express that I was upset about it, I feel like if I express it.

Not like fully, but I think that if I express that I was upset about it, I feel like if I express it.

No.

No.

Because sometimes it's been a pattern when I bring something up that bothers me. You know I was joking. You know that I wasn't serious.

Because sometimes it's been a pattern when I bring something up that bothers me. You know I was joking. You know that I wasn't serious.

I can't tell because like he does seem very like as a 22 year old, he does seem like immature in that way. Like he just seems very like he just wants to like let it pass. Like it's not that big of a deal. He says that a lot. It's really not that big.

I can't tell because like he does seem very like as a 22 year old, he does seem like immature in that way. Like he just seems very like he just wants to like let it pass. Like it's not that big of a deal. He says that a lot. It's really not that big.

trying to figure out whether this is a guy you should pursue in a relationship are you trying to figure out whether you're right yeah you know like what what are you trying to figure out here yeah so I guess like whether it's worth still pursuing or not because since then we had that conversation he was like you're right like you're right in the fact that like I need to make a different effort like I like things could be different so now since then we had that conversation we have ditched snapchat it's gone

trying to figure out whether this is a guy you should pursue in a relationship are you trying to figure out whether you're right yeah you know like what what are you trying to figure out here yeah so I guess like whether it's worth still pursuing or not because since then we had that conversation he was like you're right like you're right in the fact that like I need to make a different effort like I like things could be different so now since then we had that conversation we have ditched snapchat it's gone

Um, he texts me in the morning, you know, when he wakes up for workouts, good morning with a heart. And then we don't really talk much during the day. And then he calls me every night and like, we talk, we just catch up and stuff. And it seems like things have moved in a better direction, but I guess it still doesn't address

Um, he texts me in the morning, you know, when he wakes up for workouts, good morning with a heart. And then we don't really talk much during the day. And then he calls me every night and like, we talk, we just catch up and stuff. And it seems like things have moved in a better direction, but I guess it still doesn't address

just the way that he you know responded to the situation of me being upset and how to figure out when someone is too busy or like and maybe that's a conversation to have with him like one is this worth pursuing because you're genuine about hey you're busy you really do care about me but you know you have to work around my schedule or is it sure you are one of the many and i'm just kind of yeah you know how long you been fucking with this guy hanging out with this guy for

just the way that he you know responded to the situation of me being upset and how to figure out when someone is too busy or like and maybe that's a conversation to have with him like one is this worth pursuing because you're genuine about hey you're busy you really do care about me but you know you have to work around my schedule or is it sure you are one of the many and i'm just kind of yeah you know how long you been fucking with this guy hanging out with this guy for

Since like December, like mid-December, before the holidays.

Since like December, like mid-December, before the holidays.

Yeah, so it was literally up until probably... So when he was like an hour away, you know, we would be pretty much talking all day long. He would FaceTime me, you know, catch me up on his day, like everything like that. We would make plans to hang out. You know, he was an hour. So you'd be like, hey, come up here like we can, you know, you stay for the weekend or.

Yeah, so it was literally up until probably... So when he was like an hour away, you know, we would be pretty much talking all day long. He would FaceTime me, you know, catch me up on his day, like everything like that. We would make plans to hang out. You know, he was an hour. So you'd be like, hey, come up here like we can, you know, you stay for the weekend or.

And that would happen pretty much every weekend or every other weekend. It was very consistent.

And that would happen pretty much every weekend or every other weekend. It was very consistent.

I'm trying. I didn't ask about that.

I'm trying. I didn't ask about that.

like that part because it didn't matter to me at that point because I was still talking to people a little bit and the reason why this bothered me so much is because he would make sly comments because we would kind of joke about like our hoes but like not really having hoes and he'd be like well I would make you my girlfriend or I would do this if you weren't like fucking around with I'm not fucking around like talking to these guys like how would that make me seem as a guy if I'm gonna like do all these things for you if you're still talking to other people so then in my head I said okay

like that part because it didn't matter to me at that point because I was still talking to people a little bit and the reason why this bothered me so much is because he would make sly comments because we would kind of joke about like our hoes but like not really having hoes and he'd be like well I would make you my girlfriend or I would do this if you weren't like fucking around with I'm not fucking around like talking to these guys like how would that make me seem as a guy if I'm gonna like do all these things for you if you're still talking to other people so then in my head I said okay

I'll cut them off then. It wasn't a big deal. I was like, okay, I like you the most. Like I'll cut them off. And he was like, uh, and that was it. I never said anything to him.

I'll cut them off then. It wasn't a big deal. I was like, okay, I like you the most. Like I'll cut them off. And he was like, uh, and that was it. I never said anything to him.

I would say in the middle. Okay, so about... Like, I definitely have way more immature friends, but I do have friends that are a little bit more immature.

I would say in the middle. Okay, so about... Like, I definitely have way more immature friends, but I do have friends that are a little bit more immature.

Way less.

Way less.

And that might be because of the age range. Like I haven't really talked to anyone that's older than me. A lot of the guys that I've dated and talked to are younger than me, but also I live in a city in the South that is very girl dominated. So the guys here are,

And that might be because of the age range. Like I haven't really talked to anyone that's older than me. A lot of the guys that I've dated and talked to are younger than me, but also I live in a city in the South that is very girl dominated. So the guys here are,

Um, it, the guys have a lot of options compared to the girls, um, which is why, you know, I would spend a lot of my time going, you know, up to the city of the school that I went to because it's a really big football city. Like, um, and then when I go home, but I never really focused on, um, like I'm not like online dating or anything like that.

Um, it, the guys have a lot of options compared to the girls, um, which is why, you know, I would spend a lot of my time going, you know, up to the city of the school that I went to because it's a really big football city. Like, um, and then when I go home, but I never really focused on, um, like I'm not like online dating or anything like that.

Um, but yeah, I feel like a lot of the guys are immature. I haven't really, yeah. In my experience.

Um, but yeah, I feel like a lot of the guys are immature. I haven't really, yeah. In my experience.

you know fucking with or you know sending news to yeah the things he's asking for it's it's different than like for example this again this is that right now I'm watching his dog because he he's like my dog like and I know him because I hung out with his dog so many times that does not like other people I was like really like does not whatever

you know fucking with or you know sending news to yeah the things he's asking for it's it's different than like for example this again this is that right now I'm watching his dog because he he's like my dog like and I know him because I hung out with his dog so many times that does not like other people I was like really like does not whatever

So he went to a different state to do training for spring break. And I was like, I'll watch him. No big deal. So right now, I have him. And when he needs help, he's like, I need someone to clean my house. Will you help me? Will you get on a FaceTime with me? Try to get someone to help me. He was with his family the other day. And he was like, oh, everyone say hi to my girl.

So he went to a different state to do training for spring break. And I was like, I'll watch him. No big deal. So right now, I have him. And when he needs help, he's like, I need someone to clean my house. Will you help me? Will you get on a FaceTime with me? Try to get someone to help me. He was with his family the other day. And he was like, oh, everyone say hi to my girl.

Obviously, didn't name me. And just stuff like that. Or hey, you're really smart. You're older. I just feel like just, that's just the way he talks. Like he always refers to me like as his girl, but not like, like to me and to other people. Like if he's on FaceTime with a friend when I'm at like his like house.

Obviously, didn't name me. And just stuff like that. Or hey, you're really smart. You're older. I just feel like just, that's just the way he talks. Like he always refers to me like as his girl, but not like, like to me and to other people. Like if he's on FaceTime with a friend when I'm at like his like house.

No, but that, that was okay to me because that we, like, I don't think of him as my boyfriend either.

No, but that, that was okay to me because that we, like, I don't think of him as my boyfriend either.

No, I think of him as like someone like I care about that. I could like see like something, something, it going somewhere, but I don't think we're at that point like at all.

No, I think of him as like someone like I care about that. I could like see like something, something, it going somewhere, but I don't think we're at that point like at all.

Because I care about him and I care about the dog. And I knew that it would lessen a little on him.

Because I care about him and I care about the dog. And I knew that it would lessen a little on him.

Yeah. I guess I didn't realize.

Yeah. I guess I didn't realize.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I think that's also because of my ego is I'm not the type. I'll never ask you to hang out first. So I think I have so many questions because it's also my fault because I'm not, I'm letting him, role how he wants and playing cool girl and not like freaking out about it, which makes it easy on him. But it's also like, yeah, I do have questions like, are we going to be something?

Yeah. And I think that's also because of my ego is I'm not the type. I'll never ask you to hang out first. So I think I have so many questions because it's also my fault because I'm not, I'm letting him, role how he wants and playing cool girl and not like freaking out about it, which makes it easy on him. But it's also like, yeah, I do have questions like, are we going to be something?

Are we not?

Are we not?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

, , , , , , ,, in P P P P P P P P P P P實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a a a a a to P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P , , , , , ,, in P P P P P P P P實實,實, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a sol a That's exactly what he said about the other girls. He'd be like, they asked what, what I want right away.

, , , , , , ,, in P P P P P P P P P P P實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a a a a a to P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P , , , , , ,, in P P P P P P P P實實,實, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a sol a That's exactly what he said about the other girls. He'd be like, they asked what, what I want right away.

And they're so worried about what we're going to be. And like, you just like, don't give a fuck. And you're even though inside I give a little bit of a fuck.

And they're so worried about what we're going to be. And like, you just like, don't give a fuck. And you're even though inside I give a little bit of a fuck.

You give as many fucks as they do. But I know the reality of this situation.

You give as many fucks as they do. But I know the reality of this situation.

Yeah, exactly. Because that's what he said. That's literally like, basically without saying it, he's like, Yeah. And it's just, I, yeah, from here, it's just, you think, but you think having a conversation, like drop off the dog and have the conversation or draw or figure out a way to get him back. Cause we haven't even figured because he's four hours away.

Yeah, exactly. Because that's what he said. That's literally like, basically without saying it, he's like, Yeah. And it's just, I, yeah, from here, it's just, you think, but you think having a conversation, like drop off the dog and have the conversation or draw or figure out a way to get him back. Cause we haven't even figured because he's four hours away.

When I picked him up, I drove four hours, picked him up, hung out with him for two hours and drove back.

When I picked him up, I drove four hours, picked him up, hung out with him for two hours and drove back.

Is there a good way to respond? Cause I know how he's going to respond. He's going to say, you're doing this again. I told you that I would try harder. I told you things would be different. I told you, is there like a good, like, Because I don't want to seem like I'm jumping on things as soon as things aren't going my way. Because that's what he says.

Is there a good way to respond? Cause I know how he's going to respond. He's going to say, you're doing this again. I told you that I would try harder. I told you things would be different. I told you, is there like a good, like, Because I don't want to seem like I'm jumping on things as soon as things aren't going my way. Because that's what he says.

Yeah. It's what I said the first time, but I did not stand my ground on it. And I just.

Yeah. It's what I said the first time, but I did not stand my ground on it. And I just.

Yeah. Yeah. That's.

Yeah. Yeah. That's.

Yeah. And you hit it right on the head when you said like, I hate being like the bad guy in people's eyes because like I have done so much and it's going to really annoy me if he's going to think she was immature.

Yeah. And you hit it right on the head when you said like, I hate being like the bad guy in people's eyes because like I have done so much and it's going to really annoy me if he's going to think she was immature.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. Yep. That's good advice. It's, it's what I needed, what I knew, but needed to hear from someone other than my friends. Cause it's just a story.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. Yep. That's good advice. It's, it's what I needed, what I knew, but needed to hear from someone other than my friends. Cause it's just a story.

yeah and they they love the story now they want you to introduce you to some of like you know they're like i don't know is the linebacker single exactly like they wanted me to bring you know them to games and like make a weekend meet weekends of it it's like oh it's not that big of a deal you know just like ride the wave sure type of thing and for a while it was fine but i feel like like you said it's been four months and listen if you could and i'm not this is not a dare and like i very much i'm i say this with caution

yeah and they they love the story now they want you to introduce you to some of like you know they're like i don't know is the linebacker single exactly like they wanted me to bring you know them to games and like make a weekend meet weekends of it it's like oh it's not that big of a deal you know just like ride the wave sure type of thing and for a while it was fine but i feel like like you said it's been four months and listen if you could and i'm not this is not a dare and like i very much i'm i say this with caution

No, at this point, I'm not.

No, at this point, I'm not.

Yeah. Well, thank you. I, yeah. Once, like you said, going to chill this week with the dog, then find a way to get, get him back. And then I don't just go from there.

Yeah. Well, thank you. I, yeah. Once, like you said, going to chill this week with the dog, then find a way to get, get him back. And then I don't just go from there.

Yeah. Don't be like, we have to talk. He's not your boyfriend. Just kind of. Yeah.

Yeah. Don't be like, we have to talk. He's not your boyfriend. Just kind of. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. Well, thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it.

Okay. Well, thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it.

Hi, my name's Carly. I'm 26 years old and I wanted to know if the D1 quarterback athlete I was talking to was manipulating me or am I just being dramatic?

Okay. So, yeah. So he's like in his last year, like kind of like grad moment trying to make it type of deal. So he's 22 and we got connected through Snapchat. You know, let me get your Snapchat, which immediately should have been like whatever. But he was just like, what's your Snapchat? And I was like, OK, cool. Like we were at the bars. It wasn't a big deal. That's how we started talking.

We talked for a while and then I had to go back up to that school to see a friend, went there, hung out with him. We did like hang out for the whole day pretty much. And then we ended up like hooking up. But after that it was, and I knew that I wasn't like trying to get into anything serious or anything like that, but yeah.

After that, we started talking a lot more consistently, like chatting all day, every day. And mind you, this is like an important part of the story. Our messaging was through Snapchat at this time. He had asked for my number, but when we were talking like the, hey, good mornings, hey, everything, it was through Snapchat. It wasn't pictures, but it was like through the chat function.

So like we weren't using Snapchat as what Snapchat was really used for. Here and there, we would send like pictures of like whatever, but it was mostly used for the texting function, even though he had my number, whatever. but he would call me through regular number FaceTime through our regular phone numbers. But our like messaging was through Snapchat.

Did you say why?

yeah fair so one my intentions at first it was just like in my eyes it was like oh like duh like it's he's an athlete like i have no expectation it was more fun he was really cool he hit it off because he's like you're like a i don't give a fuck kind of girl like you're older like you don't like he made it seem like all these girls were obsessed with him and i was the only one that was kind of like yeah like you're cool like we'll hang out but i never was like i never gave him like what do you mean that i was like what do you mean he made it seem

Yeah. He would say like, oh, like I'm not used to like girls, like not like snap, like talking to me right away or answering my calls or like begging to hang out. Like you're not like that. You have like your own stuff going.

No, at that time, I like really believed it. And then kind of fast forward everything. We were talking a lot, hanging out a lot. And then he got moved to a different team. So it all kind of changed. He got moved, transferred to a different team, all of that. And our...

conversation kind of died down a little bit like for a long time for like two three months he was begging to hang out seeing me like all that kind of stuff sure and then he moved he moved there and again with this this snapchat thing to know you guys are talking to each other the most this sounds so stupid as a 26 year old saying this i know that now

Um, you have like a heart, like a, like a streak or something or whatever, you know? Yeah. That shows that we both talk to each other the most.

Well, we had a conversation because, you know, he moved and all of that and we weren't talking as much. And I was like, I knew that it wasn't really going anywhere, but just because of who he is, he would mention that, you know, all these girls that he like used to talk to and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then I was like, okay, cool. Obviously, you're really busy. You're going through a lot.

You just transferred to a new team. And that's totally cool. There just doesn't really seem like there's a place for us right now. And I was okay with that at the time. I knew what I was getting into before I got into it. I had a crush on him, but I didn't know him enough to be like, I want to date you. I want to make this something more. And in my head, I also knew even if I wanted that,

him being 22 him just kind of the ego that he has recognizing that and almost that's okay like you're 22 you're an athlete you have a lot of you know availability to you i was like i just don't even if i wanted to date you i knew what i was i knew that where it was going okay So I wasn't trying to fight for the relationship. I wasn't like, Hey, I really like you. I'd like to be exclusive.

Like, because I knew even if I put that, I just, I'm 26. I know at this point where that was going to go. So I just said, Hey, you know, you seem really busy because like I said, we were, everything was consistent for a while until he moved four hours away to a new team. And I was like, you're really, and he kept saying, I'm really busy. I'm really busy.

And in my head, I'm like, no one's ever that busy. And then he kept saying, well, you've never talked to an athlete before. So you don't know what, what it's like. When I say I'm busy, it's not just a regular guy. I'm busy. It's, I have all these practices I have. And then when I get home, I don't always want to talk to someone. So like you say there are excuses. But they're not excuses.

And in my head, I'm like, I feel like they're still excuses because like you didn't have two seconds to like call. And like, I'm not trying to be needy. I wasn't trying to like tell him what to do. But in my head, when someone wants to talk to you, they will, even if it's a little, hey, I had a really busy day. I'd love to call you later or I'll talk to you tomorrow. I've had a really busy day.

It's just a little bit of communication goes a long way. But in his head, it's like he wants to do it his way. So I tried to like and that was fine. He wasn't getting what I was saying. And I'm not going to like argue with someone to make someone call me or text me. So I was just like, hey, no big deal. You seem really busy. You have a lot going on.

I just think that it's best if we go our own ways. And like he immediately responded and he was like, well, I didn't see that coming. Like they're not excuses. Like you keep saying they're excuses and they're not.

So from there, I was like, okay, maybe you're, maybe you're being genuine. Like, I don't know. I've never talked to an athlete before. So I have no idea exactly how rigorous your schedule are. You are there. You seem busy. These he's in, he goes to a really good school for football. So like, I felt like I, maybe I was wrong. So that happened.

And then I still, there were signs and there was feelings in me that was like, I feel like he's talking to someone else because like,

the communication slows down you don't ask to hang out for a month like all these little signs that kind of i knew in my gut weren't just i'm busy and then i kind of let it go i was just like i'm just gonna see how things go i'm not gonna like bother him like much i'm just gonna let like play it out that's when i think the text that i sent in we the snapchat heart disappeared which means he was talking to someone way more than he was talking to me okay and in my head i was like boom okay

everything that I knew is kind of clicking together. And that's when the texts come in about him saying, you know, how dare a 26 year old act like this. I sent you a thousand dollars for Valentine's day. I sent you flowers, like all of these things. Like I always send you money when you go out to go eat.

Like I always like try to give you these little things to show you that like, I still like fuck with you. And so he just kept saying, I can't believe you're ending this over a Snapchat heart, like a Snapchat heart. You really cared that much about a Snapchat heart. And I'm like, it's not about the Snapchat heart. That was just like the cherry on top of what I already knew.

And he just kept saying over and over in the text messages. And I kind of kept just saying, it's not about the heart. I wasn't going on and on. I was just saying, it's not about the heart. And he was like, you're crazy that you're a 26 year old and you're acting like this. You know, you're being crazy right now. You know that you're overreacting, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, does he really think this is about a Snapchat hurt? Like, it's not. It's just confirming what I knew. And then fast forward where we are today. He kind of blew up my phone a little bit about it. And I was like, he's not getting it. This is not about the Snapchat hurt. I'm not going to keep going back and forth the conversation to try to tell you it's not about a Snapchat hurt.

You know it's not. And then I let two days go by. I didn't respond to his texts. He stopped texting me. He stopped calling me because he was trying to when that all happened. And I just called him because I was like in my head, I was, it was kind of my ego, but I was like, I don't want him to think that I'm immature. And I ended this over a Snapchat heart.

Like I want him to know why I was like over it. And then I called him and he was like, you know, you were being ridiculous. It's not about the Snapchat heart. I am going through a lot. Like I really care about you. I really like want to like see where things go. I see a future with you and stuff like, You're really cool. Like you're someone I want to talk to.

It's just, I hate the team that I've transferred to. I don't fuck with anybody here. Everyone sucks. I'm going through a lot with my family, like everything in my life. It just feels like it's going on and on. And then like you, and then you were like my piece of things. Like I felt like we didn't have any issues.

And then randomly you just like blew up on me about this Snapchat heart and freaking out about this stuff. And then basically you, He wanted me to recognize that I was being dramatic about the heart and about everything. And he even said, oh, you wanted that YSL purse. I wouldn't even have gotten that for a girlfriend.

I was going to give you the $800 because he had given me $1,000 for Valentine's Day just because. And the YSL purse that I wanted is like $1,800. And he was like, well, I was going to give you the $800 more. And then you pulled that bullshit on me. But you're working your way up. And obviously, we've been talking since then. He was like, but you're working your way up.

Yeah. And part of me, we have a very joking relationship. So part of me was like, is he like, just like, Oh, like, don't worry. Like you're, you're getting back there. Like, but in my head, I feel like he genuinely thinks that like I was being dramatic.

Not like fully, but I think that if I express that I was upset about it, I feel like if I express it.

No.

Because sometimes it's been a pattern when I bring something up that bothers me. You know I was joking. You know that I wasn't serious.

I can't tell because like he does seem very like as a 22 year old, he does seem like immature in that way. Like he just seems very like he just wants to like let it pass. Like it's not that big of a deal. He says that a lot. It's really not that big.

trying to figure out whether this is a guy you should pursue in a relationship are you trying to figure out whether you're right yeah you know like what what are you trying to figure out here yeah so I guess like whether it's worth still pursuing or not because since then we had that conversation he was like you're right like you're right in the fact that like I need to make a different effort like I like things could be different so now since then we had that conversation we have ditched snapchat it's gone

Um, he texts me in the morning, you know, when he wakes up for workouts, good morning with a heart. And then we don't really talk much during the day. And then he calls me every night and like, we talk, we just catch up and stuff. And it seems like things have moved in a better direction, but I guess it still doesn't address

just the way that he you know responded to the situation of me being upset and how to figure out when someone is too busy or like and maybe that's a conversation to have with him like one is this worth pursuing because you're genuine about hey you're busy you really do care about me but you know you have to work around my schedule or is it sure you are one of the many and i'm just kind of yeah you know how long you been fucking with this guy hanging out with this guy for

Since like December, like mid-December, before the holidays.

Yeah, so it was literally up until probably... So when he was like an hour away, you know, we would be pretty much talking all day long. He would FaceTime me, you know, catch me up on his day, like everything like that. We would make plans to hang out. You know, he was an hour. So you'd be like, hey, come up here like we can, you know, you stay for the weekend or.

And that would happen pretty much every weekend or every other weekend. It was very consistent.

I'm trying. I didn't ask about that.

like that part because it didn't matter to me at that point because I was still talking to people a little bit and the reason why this bothered me so much is because he would make sly comments because we would kind of joke about like our hoes but like not really having hoes and he'd be like well I would make you my girlfriend or I would do this if you weren't like fucking around with I'm not fucking around like talking to these guys like how would that make me seem as a guy if I'm gonna like do all these things for you if you're still talking to other people so then in my head I said okay

I'll cut them off then. It wasn't a big deal. I was like, okay, I like you the most. Like I'll cut them off. And he was like, uh, and that was it. I never said anything to him.

I would say in the middle. Okay, so about... Like, I definitely have way more immature friends, but I do have friends that are a little bit more immature.

Way less.

And that might be because of the age range. Like I haven't really talked to anyone that's older than me. A lot of the guys that I've dated and talked to are younger than me, but also I live in a city in the South that is very girl dominated. So the guys here are,

Um, it, the guys have a lot of options compared to the girls, um, which is why, you know, I would spend a lot of my time going, you know, up to the city of the school that I went to because it's a really big football city. Like, um, and then when I go home, but I never really focused on, um, like I'm not like online dating or anything like that.

Um, but yeah, I feel like a lot of the guys are immature. I haven't really, yeah. In my experience.

you know fucking with or you know sending news to yeah the things he's asking for it's it's different than like for example this again this is that right now I'm watching his dog because he he's like my dog like and I know him because I hung out with his dog so many times that does not like other people I was like really like does not whatever

So he went to a different state to do training for spring break. And I was like, I'll watch him. No big deal. So right now, I have him. And when he needs help, he's like, I need someone to clean my house. Will you help me? Will you get on a FaceTime with me? Try to get someone to help me. He was with his family the other day. And he was like, oh, everyone say hi to my girl.

Obviously, didn't name me. And just stuff like that. Or hey, you're really smart. You're older. I just feel like just, that's just the way he talks. Like he always refers to me like as his girl, but not like, like to me and to other people. Like if he's on FaceTime with a friend when I'm at like his like house.

No, but that, that was okay to me because that we, like, I don't think of him as my boyfriend either.

No, I think of him as like someone like I care about that. I could like see like something, something, it going somewhere, but I don't think we're at that point like at all.

Because I care about him and I care about the dog. And I knew that it would lessen a little on him.

Yeah. I guess I didn't realize.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I think that's also because of my ego is I'm not the type. I'll never ask you to hang out first. So I think I have so many questions because it's also my fault because I'm not, I'm letting him, role how he wants and playing cool girl and not like freaking out about it, which makes it easy on him. But it's also like, yeah, I do have questions like, are we going to be something?

Are we not?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

, , , , , , ,, in P P P P P P P P P P P實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a a a a a to P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P , , , , , ,, in P P P P P P P P實實,實, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a sol a That's exactly what he said about the other girls. He'd be like, they asked what, what I want right away.

And they're so worried about what we're going to be. And like, you just like, don't give a fuck. And you're even though inside I give a little bit of a fuck.

You give as many fucks as they do. But I know the reality of this situation.

Yeah, exactly. Because that's what he said. That's literally like, basically without saying it, he's like, Yeah. And it's just, I, yeah, from here, it's just, you think, but you think having a conversation, like drop off the dog and have the conversation or draw or figure out a way to get him back. Cause we haven't even figured because he's four hours away.

When I picked him up, I drove four hours, picked him up, hung out with him for two hours and drove back.

Is there a good way to respond? Cause I know how he's going to respond. He's going to say, you're doing this again. I told you that I would try harder. I told you things would be different. I told you, is there like a good, like, Because I don't want to seem like I'm jumping on things as soon as things aren't going my way. Because that's what he says.

Yeah. It's what I said the first time, but I did not stand my ground on it. And I just.

Yeah. Yeah. That's.

Yeah. And you hit it right on the head when you said like, I hate being like the bad guy in people's eyes because like I have done so much and it's going to really annoy me if he's going to think she was immature.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. Yep. That's good advice. It's, it's what I needed, what I knew, but needed to hear from someone other than my friends. Cause it's just a story.

yeah and they they love the story now they want you to introduce you to some of like you know they're like i don't know is the linebacker single exactly like they wanted me to bring you know them to games and like make a weekend meet weekends of it it's like oh it's not that big of a deal you know just like ride the wave sure type of thing and for a while it was fine but i feel like like you said it's been four months and listen if you could and i'm not this is not a dare and like i very much i'm i say this with caution

No, at this point, I'm not.

Yeah. Well, thank you. I, yeah. Once, like you said, going to chill this week with the dog, then find a way to get, get him back. And then I don't just go from there.

Yeah. Don't be like, we have to talk. He's not your boyfriend. Just kind of. Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. Well, thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it.

Well, I sent the judge a letter explaining his illness, and my fears are, A, he's going to hurt himself, he's going to hurt somebody else, or somebody's going to hurt him. He doesn't have any social skills at this point to stay at the homeless shelter. He didn't have that a year ago. He didn't have the ability, the social, his social behaviors and regulation and what to do was out the window.

Well, I sent the judge a letter explaining his illness, and my fears are, A, he's going to hurt himself, he's going to hurt somebody else, or somebody's going to hurt him. He doesn't have any social skills at this point to stay at the homeless shelter. He didn't have that a year ago. He didn't have the ability, the social, his social behaviors and regulation and what to do was out the window.

The best thing that can happen, and it sounds horrible, is that he ends up back in jail. At least I know where he is and he's safe. I mean, it certainly isn't ideal, especially if he's in isolation and I have no control over him and I have no control over the judge, the social workers, the people in the jail, whatever I have to say. I can say all day long, but they do what they do, right?

The best thing that can happen, and it sounds horrible, is that he ends up back in jail. At least I know where he is and he's safe. I mean, it certainly isn't ideal, especially if he's in isolation and I have no control over him and I have no control over the judge, the social workers, the people in the jail, whatever I have to say. I can say all day long, but they do what they do, right?

So I don't want to be not hopeful about There's always a miracle that can happen. And I feel like regardless of the brain disease, we're all on a journey, right? We're all on a journey.

So I don't want to be not hopeful about There's always a miracle that can happen. And I feel like regardless of the brain disease, we're all on a journey, right? We're all on a journey.

our own journey and um he's on his and he's on this this pathways and i don't know why and i i will never know why whatever happens why this happened and um you know it's his journey it's his journey just like my journey my journey is my journey and somebody can walk along with me I can walk along. I've been walking beside him. I'm walking beside him, maybe guiding him and supporting him.

our own journey and um he's on his and he's on this this pathways and i don't know why and i i will never know why whatever happens why this happened and um you know it's his journey it's his journey just like my journey my journey is my journey and somebody can walk along with me I can walk along. I've been walking beside him. I'm walking beside him, maybe guiding him and supporting him.

That's all I could do. And once he decided he didn't want that anymore for whatever reason, then he's basically on his own and to whatever is going to happen, it's going to happen.

That's all I could do. And once he decided he didn't want that anymore for whatever reason, then he's basically on his own and to whatever is going to happen, it's going to happen.

Right. Yes. Number one, we didn't cause it, right? we as parents, friends, family, we didn't cause it. We can't cure it and we can't control it. All we can control is our response to it. And we have to make a decision as family members or friends, what we're going to do. How can I best help this person if that's even available, if it's available to help and have boundaries.

Right. Yes. Number one, we didn't cause it, right? we as parents, friends, family, we didn't cause it. We can't cure it and we can't control it. All we can control is our response to it. And we have to make a decision as family members or friends, what we're going to do. How can I best help this person if that's even available, if it's available to help and have boundaries.

And I think people really need to know that It's okay to have boundaries. If your loved one is violent, you don't have to, it sounds awful, but if they're being violent in your home, you don't have to put up with that. Your life doesn't have to be ruined because your loved one has a brain disease that's affecting you.

And I think people really need to know that It's okay to have boundaries. If your loved one is violent, you don't have to, it sounds awful, but if they're being violent in your home, you don't have to put up with that. Your life doesn't have to be ruined because your loved one has a brain disease that's affecting you.

I think that people knowing that they're not alone, and that's why I love what you're doing is you're not alone. There's lots of us friends and families of relatives with seriously mentally ill people all over the world, I'm sure. We've all sacrificed a lot of time and energy and worry and fear. And the what ifs and the should haves and the guilt, right? We feel guilty.

I think that people knowing that they're not alone, and that's why I love what you're doing is you're not alone. There's lots of us friends and families of relatives with seriously mentally ill people all over the world, I'm sure. We've all sacrificed a lot of time and energy and worry and fear. And the what ifs and the should haves and the guilt, right? We feel guilty.

Well, maybe I should have said this or shouldn't have done that or what have you. And in that, it's not productive. It's not productive. The best thing we can do for our loved ones is to take care of ourselves. It all comes down to we have to stay healthy. If we go downhill, we're depressed and we're in a bad place. We're not helping them.

Well, maybe I should have said this or shouldn't have done that or what have you. And in that, it's not productive. It's not productive. The best thing we can do for our loved ones is to take care of ourselves. It all comes down to we have to stay healthy. If we go downhill, we're depressed and we're in a bad place. We're not helping them.

So the best thing we can do, the bottom line for ourselves is to take care of ourselves. It's okay to have fun. It's okay to have fun. It's okay to enjoy your life. And we can't sacrifice our life because this is happening or happening to somebody we love. We can't sacrifice our life for them. And that's the best thing we can do is to stay healthy ourselves.

So the best thing we can do, the bottom line for ourselves is to take care of ourselves. It's okay to have fun. It's okay to have fun. It's okay to enjoy your life. And we can't sacrifice our life because this is happening or happening to somebody we love. We can't sacrifice our life for them. And that's the best thing we can do is to stay healthy ourselves.

Yeah, definitely not saying it's easy, but I think we have to realize that it's something...

Yeah, definitely not saying it's easy, but I think we have to realize that it's something...

When he was in his last year of high school, he had a lot of those symptoms where he didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to do anything and or go anywhere and stop going to school. And there was also the other extreme where he was acting a little like silly and goofy and odd, just odd. So I did bring him to a psychiatrist. And they did evaluate him.

When he was in his last year of high school, he had a lot of those symptoms where he didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to do anything and or go anywhere and stop going to school. And there was also the other extreme where he was acting a little like silly and goofy and odd, just odd. So I did bring him to a psychiatrist. And they did evaluate him.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, that's why the bottom line is we have to take care. So if he turns around and I don't know what happens, I want to be in a good place. If we're to have a relationship, things turn around, things turn around 100%. He's stable again. He needs assistance for whatever reason.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, that's why the bottom line is we have to take care. So if he turns around and I don't know what happens, I want to be in a good place. If we're to have a relationship, things turn around, things turn around 100%. He's stable again. He needs assistance for whatever reason.

And he was originally put in the hospital. And that's when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Somewhere along there was schizoaffective disorder. So that's where he had. He kind of ranges between being depressed and having some of that mania along with symptoms of schizophrenia where he did the paranoia and the delusions and things like that. Hearing voices.

And he was originally put in the hospital. And that's when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Somewhere along there was schizoaffective disorder. So that's where he had. He kind of ranges between being depressed and having some of that mania along with symptoms of schizophrenia where he did the paranoia and the delusions and things like that. Hearing voices.

Yeah, we were referred to a psychiatrist. So we started seeing the psychiatrist. Unfortunately, during that period of time, he was also using drugs unbeknownst to me. And that particular psychiatrist fired him because he confessed to using drugs along with his medication. We found somebody else.

Yeah, we were referred to a psychiatrist. So we started seeing the psychiatrist. Unfortunately, during that period of time, he was also using drugs unbeknownst to me. And that particular psychiatrist fired him because he confessed to using drugs along with his medication. We found somebody else.

We found this fabulous registered nurse practitioner who we saw for many years, and he did very good for a long time.

We found this fabulous registered nurse practitioner who we saw for many years, and he did very good for a long time.

Well, then and now are like two different lifetimes, right? When he's that young.

Well, then and now are like two different lifetimes, right? When he's that young.

It wasn't as serious as it is now. You know, when I look back, see how he is like, I've never this past two years, I've never seen him in such a decline in such state where he didn't even recognize who I was. My husband and I have been in this, you know, his stepfather. over his house weekly, helping him with groceries or transportation.

It wasn't as serious as it is now. You know, when I look back, see how he is like, I've never this past two years, I've never seen him in such a decline in such state where he didn't even recognize who I was. My husband and I have been in this, you know, his stepfather. over his house weekly, helping him with groceries or transportation.

He's also in a wheelchair because he lost a leg due to a psychotic break he had. And so we gave him, you know, we spent time with him. And when he was younger, eventually he got his own apartment. We were living in South Florida. He got his own apartment. He was on his medication, but he was doing things like roaming town in the middle of the night, like just going out walking.

He's also in a wheelchair because he lost a leg due to a psychotic break he had. And so we gave him, you know, we spent time with him. And when he was younger, eventually he got his own apartment. We were living in South Florida. He got his own apartment. He was on his medication, but he was doing things like roaming town in the middle of the night, like just going out walking.

I'm like, Nathan, you can't be walking around at night. You're going to get in trouble. But it didn't kind of, oh, I've talked to the police. They're fine. I tell them who I am. And he continued that even when we moved north. He even continued that behavior while he was still able to walk. It was just odd behavior, not sleeping at night, always have a hard time sleeping and managing his moods.

I'm like, Nathan, you can't be walking around at night. You're going to get in trouble. But it didn't kind of, oh, I've talked to the police. They're fine. I tell them who I am. And he continued that even when we moved north. He even continued that behavior while he was still able to walk. It was just odd behavior, not sleeping at night, always have a hard time sleeping and managing his moods.

You know, he'd fluctuate from being depressed to being manic. And he's doing he's an artist. He's a writer. He plays music, writes music. And so, you know, he'd be kind of like up all night. He'd get in these creative modes and he'd be up and then he'd go the other direction where you couldn't get him out of bed to do anything.

You know, he'd fluctuate from being depressed to being manic. And he's doing he's an artist. He's a writer. He plays music, writes music. And so, you know, he'd be kind of like up all night. He'd get in these creative modes and he'd be up and then he'd go the other direction where you couldn't get him out of bed to do anything.

It's bad. I'd say about two years ago, he started playing around with his medication dosage, unbeknownst to me. I think this whole thing with him ending up in jail started with COVID. So he tends to be rather isolated anyways, but he was living in disabled housing. So the people around him had some sort of disability. He did have friends and neighbors. be associated with. But COVID happened.

It's bad. I'd say about two years ago, he started playing around with his medication dosage, unbeknownst to me. I think this whole thing with him ending up in jail started with COVID. So he tends to be rather isolated anyways, but he was living in disabled housing. So the people around him had some sort of disability. He did have friends and neighbors. be associated with. But COVID happened.

And then just coming out of COVID, there were things, there were small red flags where I'd be like, hmm, what's going on here? This is a little odd. He's going to change the pictures hanging on the wall because they were evil. That was a red flag. He wasn't eating. He lost a lot of weight. He was just acting not like himself. He had bed sores.

And then just coming out of COVID, there were things, there were small red flags where I'd be like, hmm, what's going on here? This is a little odd. He's going to change the pictures hanging on the wall because they were evil. That was a red flag. He wasn't eating. He lost a lot of weight. He was just acting not like himself. He had bed sores.

Part of this all started with bed sores where he's in bed a lot, trying to alleviate that. And I went over one day, he said he was meditating, but he didn't recognize who I was. He was in his bed and I called to have him Baker acted.

Part of this all started with bed sores where he's in bed a lot, trying to alleviate that. And I went over one day, he said he was meditating, but he didn't recognize who I was. He was in his bed and I called to have him Baker acted.

That was a big fiasco. They wouldn't bake or act him, even though I told him about the incident where he did a lot of self-harm. A number of years ago, he did a lot of self-harm, and thankfully he woke up and called 911 himself. But even with that knowledge that he was a danger to himself and possibly to other people, I had to go to the courthouse and have him ex-partied.

That was a big fiasco. They wouldn't bake or act him, even though I told him about the incident where he did a lot of self-harm. A number of years ago, he did a lot of self-harm, and thankfully he woke up and called 911 himself. But even with that knowledge that he was a danger to himself and possibly to other people, I had to go to the courthouse and have him ex-partied.

That was extremely stressful because this took hours. I had to leave. I'm like, you mean I've got to leave him in his house where I don't know what he's going to do, go downtown and get these papers and then wait upon the police or whoever is picking them up. It ended up being firemen, police and ambulance. And I was terrified.

That was extremely stressful because this took hours. I had to leave. I'm like, you mean I've got to leave him in his house where I don't know what he's going to do, go downtown and get these papers and then wait upon the police or whoever is picking them up. It ended up being firemen, police and ambulance. And I was terrified.

We hear stories about the mentally ill getting shot or killed because they defend themselves. He was very aggressive, walked me out of the house while we were waiting, screamed and yelled. His nurse had come, happened to come by, screamed and yelled at us to get out. And it was very scary, but they brought him to the hospital. And this was 2023 in July. He was in the hospital for three weeks.

We hear stories about the mentally ill getting shot or killed because they defend themselves. He was very aggressive, walked me out of the house while we were waiting, screamed and yelled. His nurse had come, happened to come by, screamed and yelled at us to get out. And it was very scary, but they brought him to the hospital. And this was 2023 in July. He was in the hospital for three weeks.

That was horrible. He banged his head. He had stitches and was very aggressive. He knocked over nurses. He did horrible things while he was there. And I'm like, Don't tell me what he's doing. And I didn't go see him. They ended up having to put him in the hospital because he needed stitches. And then things got worse. And they put him in a coma. His behavior was so outrageous.

That was horrible. He banged his head. He had stitches and was very aggressive. He knocked over nurses. He did horrible things while he was there. And I'm like, Don't tell me what he's doing. And I didn't go see him. They ended up having to put him in the hospital because he needed stitches. And then things got worse. And they put him in a coma. His behavior was so outrageous.

They put him in a coma for a couple of days. I went up to see him because he was basically sleeping. And I played him music. We usually play music together. I brought Laylee and I played for him. And he kind of knew I was there. And then when he woke up, they took him out of it. The medical director of the ICU is where they did it. Said, oh, he can go home now.

They put him in a coma for a couple of days. I went up to see him because he was basically sleeping. And I played him music. We usually play music together. I brought Laylee and I played for him. And he kind of knew I was there. And then when he woke up, they took him out of it. The medical director of the ICU is where they did it. Said, oh, he can go home now.

No, he can't. He can't go home now. He can't take care of himself. He hasn't been regulated on his medication. So there's been this history of him being hospitalized and they let him go too soon. Like he's not stabilized yet. He's not at baseline yet. And so I was able to get him back into behavioral health and they didn't keep him long.

No, he can't. He can't go home now. He can't take care of himself. He hasn't been regulated on his medication. So there's been this history of him being hospitalized and they let him go too soon. Like he's not stabilized yet. He's not at baseline yet. And so I was able to get him back into behavioral health and they didn't keep him long.

At least it was a little bit longer, but he continued with the behavior of, I don't want to take the medication. I'm not sick. What's the word? Anisognasia.

At least it was a little bit longer, but he continued with the behavior of, I don't want to take the medication. I'm not sick. What's the word? Anisognasia.

Yeah. So he doesn't recognize at this point that he's ill and he needs medication. So he continued and I tried, you know, putting his medication, helping with his medication, you know, his weekly thing. And at this point, I was going over every day for months. I was thinking, you know, I have some control over this medication. baffling and cunning disease, right?

Yeah. So he doesn't recognize at this point that he's ill and he needs medication. So he continued and I tried, you know, putting his medication, helping with his medication, you know, his weekly thing. And at this point, I was going over every day for months. I was thinking, you know, I have some control over this medication. baffling and cunning disease, right?

Which I had no control whatsoever, but I was trying, I could see the train wreck happening and I couldn't stop it is what was happening. And he started doing some bad behaviors in his apartment that he'd live in for 17 years. He wouldn't keep his clothes on. He was banging on people's doors all night. He was taking mushrooms and weed.

Which I had no control whatsoever, but I was trying, I could see the train wreck happening and I couldn't stop it is what was happening. And he started doing some bad behaviors in his apartment that he'd live in for 17 years. He wouldn't keep his clothes on. He was banging on people's doors all night. He was taking mushrooms and weed.

I don't know if there was anything else, but those two I do know. I did talk to him. He wouldn't listen. And like I said, we were there every week. And he called me every day. I didn't see it coming.

I don't know if there was anything else, but those two I do know. I did talk to him. He wouldn't listen. And like I said, we were there every week. And he called me every day. I didn't see it coming.

I felt, I think, in the end that love wasn't enough. Love... and caring and showing up literally wasn't enough to keep him from doing what happened he needed we needed social support that didn't exist his psychiatrist ended up firing him because he called up he was making these awful phone calls and saying terrible crazy things to people or writing emails.

I felt, I think, in the end that love wasn't enough. Love... and caring and showing up literally wasn't enough to keep him from doing what happened he needed we needed social support that didn't exist his psychiatrist ended up firing him because he called up he was making these awful phone calls and saying terrible crazy things to people or writing emails.

I actually got a call from, he had art in a gallery. I actually got a call from the gallery owner saying, do you know what's going on with your son? And I said, yes, he's unmedicated. He's not doing well. And she shared with me the message she left. And it was just like, you couldn't even follow it. It didn't make any sense. And he was angry. And she said, should I be afraid?

I actually got a call from, he had art in a gallery. I actually got a call from the gallery owner saying, do you know what's going on with your son? And I said, yes, he's unmedicated. He's not doing well. And she shared with me the message she left. And it was just like, you couldn't even follow it. It didn't make any sense. And he was angry. And she said, should I be afraid?

And I said, I can't tell you that. I said, if you're afraid, you can call the police. He's in a wheelchair. He has one leg. He doesn't have a car. But I'm not going to tell you not to protect yourself or your people. And so, you know, he was back to was causing a lot of trouble at his apartment complex. So his baker acted at one time, Marchman acted another in the third one that ended up in.