Caroline Foran

I'm like, oh no, I just, it's not me.

Like I'd love to hand him in and not see him for a few hours because it would be great for him and for me.

But he actually, when I say he won't be able to manage, I need you to believe me.

But that was so hard when I didn't have the diagnosis because...

So we were trying and trying and there was a couple of things where with a PDA autistic kid, it's very hard to like rip the bandaid off and be like, I'm just gone and you have to get over it.

Because then they're straight into fight or flight.

They don't feel safe.

And then it's hard to repair.

It almost has to be a case of like go in feeling safe and

build a connection with someone not have that like threat response activated not have the one safe thing to you be completely like pulled from you which is so hard in all the settings in our country anyway but I tried to negotiate a situation where like I would be in the hallway and he would be maybe just a little bit in and I you know just for half an hour for like the first few days and maybe I'd step back and I needed to try and do it in this very phased approach but it doesn't suit the

teachers and it's not ideal.

But he was in there and he was like, OK, my mom is outside and he seemed to be kind of engaged and he really wanted to go like he loved the other kids.

It was a very small environment.

And then one day it was like, he seems fine, like just go.

And I was like, again, it would seem like you're just overthinking this.

But then, of course, I immediately broke the trust with my son.

He's so perceptive.

And he was like, you weren't there.

And from then on, for love nor money, for months on end, I could not get him to cross the threshold into the classroom.

He just was like, well, I don't trust that you're not going to go.