Carson Olshansky

A ham bag is a cotton bag with a drawstring at the top that is made for storing ham. Ham is like the traditional meat of this country's Christmas, I guess. And because Christmas time is in the summer, all these like flat white lovers don't like a hot roast. They want cold meat, like sliced ham. And so they have a nice big luncheon.

A ham bag is a cotton bag with a drawstring at the top that is made for storing ham. Ham is like the traditional meat of this country's Christmas, I guess. And because Christmas time is in the summer, all these like flat white lovers don't like a hot roast. They want cold meat, like sliced ham. And so they have a nice big luncheon.

And because of this, you have so much ham and the ham needs to be stored. And so you have a ham bag where you put the ham so it doesn't dry out in the fridge. Okay. Do you think this is a good gift?

And because of this, you have so much ham and the ham needs to be stored. And so you have a ham bag where you put the ham so it doesn't dry out in the fridge. Okay. Do you think this is a good gift?

Yes. Tessa is like, what kind of fucking drugs did they give you when you got out of surgery? Like you buy a handbag at the supermarket. You buy a handbag is like an extra little thing in line. Like it's like giving your partner a scrub daddy for Christmas. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Tess is like, Dad, you can't not give mom a handbag. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yes. Tessa is like, what kind of fucking drugs did they give you when you got out of surgery? Like you buy a handbag at the supermarket. You buy a handbag is like an extra little thing in line. Like it's like giving your partner a scrub daddy for Christmas. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Tess is like, Dad, you can't not give mom a handbag. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's a special handbag. It's high quality. First off, it's linen and cotton. Second off, it's hand embroidered by a local artist. You're paying for art. It's really high quality. It's like bespoke even. For an item that you're going to put a bunch of greasy ham into.

It's a special handbag. It's high quality. First off, it's linen and cotton. Second off, it's hand embroidered by a local artist. You're paying for art. It's really high quality. It's like bespoke even. For an item that you're going to put a bunch of greasy ham into.

Tessa is like, dad, no one wants a hand embroidered handbag. And he's like, your mom complains every year about the quality of the handbags. Like, she's going to love it. And Tessa's like, no, she's not. And her dad is like, will you please just help me? Like, I can't drive. You have to go into town to get it. Town is like, you know, the bigger town nearby with cute stuff. It is a 30 minute drive.

Tessa is like, dad, no one wants a hand embroidered handbag. And he's like, your mom complains every year about the quality of the handbags. Like, she's going to love it. And Tessa's like, no, she's not. And her dad is like, will you please just help me? Like, I can't drive. You have to go into town to get it. Town is like, you know, the bigger town nearby with cute stuff. It is a 30 minute drive.

OK, what do you think?

OK, what do you think?

Tessa's like, oh, my God, fine. It's like, I'll go. He's like, great. It's in this little like shoppy shop in town. Usually when I say the word shoppy shop, what I mean is a store that like carries grata olive oil, right? Like it has like adorable mugs and great incense and like little plants that you'll kill, right? Like that's the vibe. Yeah. Yeah.

Tessa's like, oh, my God, fine. It's like, I'll go. He's like, great. It's in this little like shoppy shop in town. Usually when I say the word shoppy shop, what I mean is a store that like carries grata olive oil, right? Like it has like adorable mugs and great incense and like little plants that you'll kill, right? Like that's the vibe. Yeah. Yeah.

And so Tessa's like, the handbag that you want me to get is from the store that carries like these weird, strange tchotchkes that like I don't think anyone wants. And he's like, yes. She's like, great. He's like, do you know where it is? She's like, oh, yeah, I bought like mom bought your whiskey stones last year there, which you claim to hate and use every day. Yeah. He's like, great.

And so Tessa's like, the handbag that you want me to get is from the store that carries like these weird, strange tchotchkes that like I don't think anyone wants. And he's like, yes. She's like, great. He's like, do you know where it is? She's like, oh, yeah, I bought like mom bought your whiskey stones last year there, which you claim to hate and use every day. Yeah. He's like, great.

So you know it. So the next day, three days before Christmas, she drives into town. It takes 45 minutes because there's traffic from people going to buy gifts. It's hard to park. She finally finds a place. She goes like strolling up to the store and she's looking in the window. And there at the counter is Erica. What do you do?

So you know it. So the next day, three days before Christmas, she drives into town. It takes 45 minutes because there's traffic from people going to buy gifts. It's hard to park. She finally finds a place. She goes like strolling up to the store and she's looking in the window. And there at the counter is Erica. What do you do?

Absolutely. There are like absolutely physical changes, probably haircut, probably ripped, right? Like she's looking different. But in her heart, she is not feeling different.

Absolutely. There are like absolutely physical changes, probably haircut, probably ripped, right? Like she's looking different. But in her heart, she is not feeling different.