Cass

It's acceptance of this truth.

We can't control other people.

We can only control our own behavior, our responses, and our boundaries.

So boundaries aren't pushing people away.

They're about protecting your nervous system and your emotional wellbeing.

So setting boundaries can be helpful because they can help limit your exposure.

They can set expectations clearly.

They can signal to others what's okay and what's not okay.

And they can give you permission to step away if something becomes too unpleasant or too overwhelming.

So I just wanted to share a really useful strategy is to practice a few boundary phrases before you go to that family gathering, rather than trying to come up with something on the spot in the heat of the moment.

So these are phrases that you can use when you're feeling overwhelmed or you're feeling like a moment's getting a bit heated.

They're phrases you can use to sort of step out or step back from the situation.

So things like,

I'm going to step outside for a few minutes.

I heard someone recently say they're always the person who offers to take the garbage outside because that gives them a little break from the gathering and it gives them a few moments to themselves.

So that's a helpful way to get a few moments to yourself.

So if a discussion's getting quite heated and you're not feeling great about it, you can use this one.

I'm not comfortable discussing that.

You don't have to justify to the person why you're not comfortable.

You can just say, I'm not comfortable discussing that.