Cass

Another topic that's come up when I've been talking to friends and colleagues around this lately is holiday boundaries.

Now, this is a really important one because sometimes this may be the only time of year that we get together and gather with certain people in our family.

And most of the time, it's really easy to step back into those old family dynamics.

And if you struggle to set boundaries, it's not always a pleasant time.

So just because you're stepping into a family gathering or any emotionally charged situation, it doesn't mean you have to become a sponge for everyone else's behavior or moods or stress.

Family dynamics can be tricky.

Old roles can reappear really quickly.

And sometimes we go into these situations quietly hoping that this year will be different, that someone will behave differently, that a longstanding tension will magically disappear, that there'll be some kind of Christmas miracle.

But when we go in with that hope, often we end up feeling frustrated or disappointed.

So a helpful and protective shift is to practice acceptance.

And this is not easy.

Acceptance is not approval of someone else's behavior.

And it's not resignation.

It's not like, oh, there's nothing I can do anyway.

It's acceptance of this truth.

We can't control other people.

We can only control our own behavior, our responses, and our boundaries.

So boundaries aren't pushing people away.

They're about protecting your nervous system and your emotional wellbeing.

So setting boundaries can be helpful because they can help limit your exposure.