Cate

And I think you do deserve the right to, like,

I don't want any contact.

I don't want to be talked about.

I don't want to be found.

Okay.

You know that in your brain.

So set it up to where the adoptee will have as much questions answered as possible without having you feel like you're invaded or whatever.

Which I don't – you know what I mean?

But at least set it up to where –

give them the answers they need medical records maybe a letter explaining why you don't want to be found and maybe maybe a picture of the birth parent birth mom and then just be like don't come find me don't come look for me you know what i'm saying i mean at least the adoptee will have that you know what i'm saying but they're really still an adoptee yeah yeah um this is a good one i think for you to answer my husband is dealing with toxic family stuff how can i support him through everything well i think it's a good question for both of us

Like when I've gone through all of my toxic family stuff, I just feel like I think it's important to separate.

Um, I think it's important to separate what I would do.

If I were you and kind of like, like understand that, like, well, what I would do is not what Kate would do.

You know?

So I, first off, get that out of your mind about, well, I think you should do this.

I think you should do that for your toxic members.

It's not, it never works that way.

So you're pretty much, I think asking you, how can I best support you in this?

How do I, you know, how do, how do you want me to support you?

Do you want me to jump in?