Catt Sadler
speaker
96 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Catt Sadler’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And so even though, of course, the unsettled feeling, those emotions of the uncertainty of your future and what your family is going to look like and worrying about kids and worrying how they're going to adapt to the back and forth and all of these things that play into parenting.
the transition you know there wasn't a day that went by that didn't invoke some kind of emotion so that's going on as the mother you're just really wanting to protect your kids and make sure that they will be okay through something like this and mine were quite young i mean that really stung looking back it's still just it's like oh he was two orion was two i was two when my parents divorced so it's like oh man are we repeating a a cycle here is this a pattern and so
Again, you have to really forgive yourself, I think, for maybe not meeting a certain kind of standard that you think that you're supposed to set for yourself. And then the other difficult part of my divorce was that I was on TV every single day. I was on set every single day and you're interviewing people and you're on.
I mean, as if you're on stage on Broadway, you're presenting yourself to the world and And I always think back about that time. In many ways, that's what saved me because I didn't really have the option to like not leave my house and stay in bed all day and drink a bottle of wine or whatever to just get through those hard times. I had to keep going.
But at the same time, that can often delay your grieving process, you know, because you're kind of just going through these motions. And that's what I was doing at the time. Yeah. But still, I think it served me in a good way. I mean, I was able to soldier on through the pain, through the divorce, through all the nitty gritty, because I had a job that I loved that I didn't get to just eject from.
And I have the love of my kids that were nearby and that I do everything for. So yeah, you know what? I got through it. You live through it. Hard times, they come and they go. And time is a great healer. And we got to the other side of it.
Without question, the thing that stands out that completely has allowed for a letting go and a healing and becoming whole again after that really difficult time was not just saying that we were gonna co-parent, but really walking the walk in a beautiful way. I mean, Kyle and I, to this day, now our kids are just turned 20 and turning 24 next week.
And we're not only good friends who respect each other, but now his wife, who he married only a couple of years after we divorced. So she's been step-mom to my boys for decades. I like to say that we consciously uncoupled before Gwyneth and Chris Martin made it a thing because it was about the same time and it was very much the same approach. It's like...
God, we've seen how this can go and we know how it can be. And who does it hurt? It's, it hurts the kids. It's poisonous to hold onto that anger and be contentious. And it's just, it serves no one. And so it wasn't the flip of a switch, but it was definitely baby steps in that first year where it's, you know, it's still a little awkward.
It's still, of course, like the, the pain is still new and it's difficult, but we were always, always communicating the best we could. We were kind as much as we could be. When other partners came into the mix, there was a real respect level there. And I'll give you an example of that because we had been divorced about a year and Kyle had met Sarah, his now wife, and there was a birthday party.
And I remember he called me again, the respect. I mean, God, I feel so fortunate because I know a lot of women don't have this and or men, but it's like, He called me and he said, I have met someone we've been dating for six months or whatever it was. And I'd really like to bring her to Austin's party. Are you okay with that?
And, you know, you can imagine it's like the first, you know, anybody that's not you. And mind you, we'd been together for 12 years. We were college sweethearts. We'd had, you know, we were so close and yeah. And I just was immediately like, thanks for asking. And sure, that's fine. Bring her to the party. And of course, all my girlfriends are like, oh, what? Oh my gosh, who is she?
What's her name? All these things. But I was like, we're moving forward. I mean, I think I luckily had enough emotional intelligence even back then to be like, if we're moving on, what's the past is the past. We're all moving towards our futures. And she could not have been happier better at that party. She came up to me during the cake cutting and literally said, is there anything you need?
Can I help? And I said, yeah, I'm going to cut the cake and you can scoop the ice cream. And it literally started like that. And we're friends to this day. We even have a working relationship. And so I think the healing was possible because there really was still aversion of love there.
I mean, it wasn't romantic love anymore and that had ended, but there was love and respect for the mother and father of our kids. And we just set a precedent with anybody who was going to come into our lives that if you can't get on this same page, then you're probably not going to be a part of this family. And it's worked. It's really, really worked.
And again, I know that it's rare, but I feel so, so fortunate. I am just here to tell the story that it is possible. It really, really is possible.
I mean, I keep coming back to the children, but it really was, it was about them. You know, I was afraid that they would feel like they were part of something broken and I definitely had some fear when I started dating again also. I think I had work to do on finally putting to bed some of my own childhood wounds and then having a failed marriage, which I hate to even call it that.
I keep trying to call it something else, a marriage that ended. Because it was a lesson. I mean, it really was. Let's bring it back to the first story. It's like, Kyle came into my life. All of this is just part of my own learning that I'm going to continue to do throughout my lifetime. I'm an eternal student. And that was, that was a major, major lesson for me to learn.
But of course those fears were real. And so when I was dating Kyle, I don't think I had a lot of faith in men there for a while. You know, I've had to kind of learn that a few times since probably. I hear that. Yeah. I think we carry that as women often, if you've ever been burnt at all. And not even burn. I'm not even saying, like, I'll burn me.
But, like, when things don't go as you planned or how you dreamed or you're ever disappointed in any kind of way or let down by someone, that can be really, really hard to put your heart out there again and believe in love again, as cliche as that sounds. Yeah. I think I had that fear for a while also.
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