Catt Sadler
speaker
96 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Catt Sadler’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So between the therapy and my friends, and then putting that into practice was really interesting too, because if you really decide and declare the kind of love you want, I took at least a year off. I was just completely not dating at all. But when I decided to get back out there again, it was really important to me to act as if I meant what I believe.
It's like one thing to say, I want this kind of partner. And I, you know, but it's like a different thing after you've literally behaved one way for so long to try to enact these new, new ways of loving or these new boundaries you have for yourself or these new. virtues that matter most to you. And if you don't get those, are you going to stay or are you going to leave?
And remembering that you have the power. It's not a pick me, I want to be loved. It's a, I hope you're good enough. And You check all these boxes because this is what I want for my life. Not that I'm going to settle for, but this is what I will accept and I hope is additive to my life. And if not, I'd rather just be with myself and love myself and keep it moving.
It's a really, really good place to get. It's hard. I remember when I did start dating, I definitely had some tests and I was so proud of myself when I would just like cut it off. And then I remember like this one, the one guy in particular, I was like, oh, this is the same kind of guy. The chemistry, the sex appeal. There's too many reasons that this looks like really attractive.
But I know that that's not the formula anymore. I know where that's going to end up. I know about sex. the liars. I know about the cheaters. I know what that looks like. And what I use to gravitate to that and to have the love of self, to be able to go, yeah, you can stop calling me. And then you hear what, what, why, what? And I'm like, no, it's just not working out for me.
Cause I just knew where it was going to go. And that was, that was a real breakthrough for me. Cause I'd never been able to do that in the past. And yeah, that's when I knew I was I was healed. Feels great. I love that.
That there's no such thing. And there's no such thing as being behind when it comes to starting over. There's no timetable. It is a very, very personal thing. And so don't compare yourself to others and how they did it or they've done it. I think your biggest guide is that instinct you have inside. I call it my just my compass instinct. It's there for a reason. I like to say it's my sixth sense.
Pay attention, get intimately familiar with how it feels. You just said something interesting like, oh, I thought love is like love. Like love isn't, isn't a feeling in my opinion. Love is doing, love is being, love is action. Love speaks volumes, but it's much, much more than a feeling. There is a knowing, I think, that we all have within ourselves.
And it's very easy and very human of all of us to lie to ourselves. I mean, and, oh, it's fine. Or, oh, if I just call him back that one time. Or, oh, if I just don't stick to my plan to go to the gym. Or all these little teases that we have that take us away from what it is we really, really want for ourselves and deserve to have in our lives. And
So I think if you can really tune in, let that be your guide. If you're going through a divorce and just sit with it. Sometimes it can feel like just the void, you're in the void and there is so much uncertainty, but the quieter you get, the longer you stay with it, I think it's better. I think that is your healing process.
If you rush that, it's gonna bubble up in some way later down the line, and then you're gonna have to start all over again. So don't we only wanna go through this once? Probably. So just stay with it as hard as it is. And it's hard, you know, it is hard, but just allow that for yourself would be my advice.
Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, I feel so fortunate. I swim around in gratitude all the time that I just like... I am forever practicing gratitude. I love being in a state of just... appreciating, again, all those little moments and the now and all these things, but I definitely have had adversity. I mean, I'm writing my book right now, Pam. I've got stories, okay? It wasn't a perfect anything.
My life has not been, you know, it sounds rosy and sometimes when I'm like, oh, I'm friends with my exes. It sounds so nice. And I know that's not like the norm for people. But what I do wanna say is I have had adversity and I've had some really dark times and I've been exposed to some very dysfunctional things.
And looking back, again, I think that has allowed me to have conversations with people from all walks of life, from all backgrounds, through all different kinds of experiences, because I've lived a pretty colorful life myself, and it allows me to connect with people and have these conversations. So I'm grateful for the adversity I've had.
I do believe that suffering is a teacher, and it doesn't mean it's easy, but it is there for us. That is the nature of life. It is this river and it flows and it's constantly changing and it's fluid and there will be highs and there will be lows. And if you can just remember that and kind of find your peace within all of that, regardless of what the weather is doing, it's a beautiful place to be.
Well, thank you so much, Kat. Thank you for having me. Great questions.
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