Catt Sadler
speaker
96 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Catt Sadler’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And you realize how it's like none of your business, what other people say about you. And so I'm sure that that was in there somewhere where with even the divorce and people's thoughts or opinions, it's like, And I knew that at the core, my intention was still all love, even in a divorce to stay friends with my ex and pour into my kids. And so nobody can take that away from me.
I have a wonderful family. My mom and I have always been very close. She was really comforting during those times. My sister as well is one of my dearest friends. So when I was going through divorce, she was definitely on speed dial and I did have a close knit group of friends. So that was invaluable for sure. Talking about my feelings and,
And I will say for anyone who's been through divorce knows this, you actually do have some time because your kids for most traditionally are spending some times with their mom or sometimes with their dad. So I did have periods of time where I was able to just be social and let my hair down. I mean, I remember doing that.
I wasn't spending my time when the kids were at Kyle's doing anything really deeply cool, but I was having fun. I remember I was trying to have fun because I wanted joy in my life. So I would travel or I'd go on trips with my friend, my girlfriends or whatever. A weekend in Vegas, like literally. So that was for me to feel alive and feel okay and feel like myself.
Those were really important times. And I think that people should feel okay doing that.
The way that I think about relationships has changed over time for sure. I don't know that it was divorce that really contributed to that. I mean, I've been married twice and I have had a handful of other serious relationships since. And those relationships actually have the biggest significance on how I now approach relationships because I had some really bad ones.
And it's odd that my marriages ended in like, you know, nothing absolutely catastrophic happened. It was just like, it was like letting go in love and like, we can be friends. There's still respect there. This has run its course. We really did try, but it just wasn't going to work out. And then I had some, some relationships after that in my forties that were the worst relationships of my life.
And so I, We'd be here all day if I told you the psychology of all that and all the reasons why I think that happened. But it was my worst relationship. And by worst, I mean just unhealthy, really, really unhealthy. That... profoundly changed the way that I regard love and healthy love and romantic adult love and how it's supposed to be.
It took me a long time to get there because like I said, you know, my mom was married multiple times. I had then had a couple marriages. I just don't think I ever really had this healthy love model to me. The kind of love that's safe, the kind of love that's secure, the kind of love where you can trust someone, the kind of love where there's open communication.
A lot of those pieces were missing in my more recent relationships. And it took me being very, very mistreated, betrayed, deceit, the whole thing. A very toxic relationship that basically just cued my rock bottom ever. And... I had to just go on a real journey and it was during the pandemic and I couldn't go meet my friends out. I couldn't go travel it away.
I couldn't go to the bars, you know, whatever it was that would make me like numb out and not feel the pain. And so I had to. I had to figure out what my part in that really bad relationship was and why I was allowing that kind of treatment and why I kept signing back up again and again for that kind of treatment and re-examine my own self-worth.
And so when I decided that to go on that journey and then do some intensive therapy and and be alone and not date at all, finally, I had, that's when I had a real transformation and my real healing journey began.
So it took me decades of trying to navigate relationships, not really knowing what it was that I had to work on for myself to summon in the kind of partner that I would really want for my life. And whoo, We finally got there. We finally got there. So I, it's a, it's a, it's work. It's being honest with yourself. It's choosing your... It's self-love.
It's consistently showing up for yourself and being the person that you deserve to be for yourself. And then it's funny how when you get that right, then you attract a like person as your partner. And that's the situation I'm in today with Greg.
It was a lot of things. And I'm so grateful that I had support. I had really good friends that I could, would talk me off the ledge. Often the people that love us see it so clearly. And if you're in that kind of really unhealthy situation, there is a type of emotional abuse and brainwashing that happens where you are a shell of your former self.
I mean, it's like you were just talking, you see these types of cases all the time and everybody else is like, well, why wouldn't she leave? Like, what is she sticking around for? And you don't operate like who you used to. And so that's the whole grooming process is to make you off off kilter and to stop trusting yourself.
And so when you lose the trust of yourself, you're not making the kind of decisions that the healthy whole you would be making. And so it's a really slippery slope and a dangerous place to be in. But luckily I had friends who would tell me, tell it like it is. And yeah, not let me call back or not let me text back and hold me accountable. And if I thought I was gonna, they'd help me out.
And it is like an addiction where you're addicted to this kind of love or this kind of cycle. And so that was very helpful in those critical moments. And then again, I finally, thankfully, through another friend was referred to the first therapist in my life that I stayed with, that I was honest with.
I kind of call him the crisis therapist because there was some pretty dicey situations that I found myself in. And he was, again, also on speed dial. And it's crazy to talk about now to even think that I was in that kind of situation because it still kind of sounds crazy. unbelievable to me. I kept showing up when I didn't want to talk. Even if I didn't want to go to therapy, I'd still show up.
And I, I just, and I, you can't lie to your therapist. I think a lot of us like even go to therapy, but then are you really telling all the things and are you really like being that vulnerable? And so I, I think when you're in so much pain, eventually you just surrender and that's when the healing can begin.
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