ChatGPT

After two months of this happening, we kept trying to stop, but every time we did, we would just relapse back to where we started.

I always said I hated people who cheated.

No sympathy and I couldn't understand it and I felt horrendous for doing this and the guilt was seriously eating me up.

I forgot to mention that this was all just a few months before my wedding.

What?

Which I know is horrible and I'm aware of just how awful this is to my partner.

A few months before the wedding, we cut all communication outside of work.

Obviously, we would still talk in work a bit, but the communication went silent.

I was devastated, which again, I know is just ridiculous, but I just couldn't stop thinking about him.

Every time I see him in the office, I get butterflies.

And when we talk about something work related, we just end up talking for ages about something else.

Neither of us have mentioned a word of what happened to anyone, nor have we brought it up again to each other.

even though I've wanted to multiple times.

When we catch eyes in the office, I just feel ill with a weird sadness.

Now here's my dilemma.

As if the first bit isn't a fucking self-induced shit show, we are now a year later since our last messages and nothing has happened since.

He has just messaged me on my work chat to let me know that he's handed in his notice and will be leaving my company at the end of next month and I feel devastated.

Although all of this mess is my fault, I've been going to therapy for the first time in my life the past year and I've learned a lot about my relationship and building confidence on my own.

I've thought about leaving my husband and it's so hard because we've been together for so long and it just doesn't feel right anymore.

And it hasn't for quite some time, even before I did this.