Chloé Hayden

So anytime a friend would come over, there would be a code word.

If they were like, oh, let's sleep over or something, I'd be like –

you know, make up an excuse or like if I wanted to go home, I'd be like, I've just got to go talk to my mom for a second.

And then my mom would come into the room like an hour late or like, you know, however long later and be like, oh, um, we have a doctor's appointment and I forgot about it.

So like, I'll drop you home and we have to go sort of thing.

Like I, I would always make up excuses.

My mom knew.

And Dylan had been over for like a while at that point.

And mom comes in, she's like, you haven't used the code word yet.

And I was like,

yeah, I don't want to use the code word.

And I think that's how I knew because I didn't want to code word out of it.

I never felt uncomfortable in his presence and I never felt like I wasn't able to be myself in his presence and I never felt like I had to put on a mask or that being alone would be better.

Whereas every other person in my whole life, I've had to code word out of it.

Yeah, our wedding day was really, really lovely.

I was really terrified of getting married because there's such a specific connotation about getting married, particularly as a woman, and about what being a wife means.

And that was really scary to me.

I didn't want to be a wife.

That sounded disgusting.

And the other thing as well is all of the women in my life, bless them, were trying to be helpful, but were like, it's the biggest day of your whole life.