Chloe Cole

Sometimes I would feel curiosity towards women romantically.

But I mean, part of that was the influence of the testosterone, the way that it just like flares your sex drive, which is another like wildly inappropriate part of this for me to be going on it at 13 years old.

But I knew that I would always be attracted to men and I would always want a husband and I wouldn't really want things any other way.

But it was also that that led to me realizing this is not really – maybe it's not the most natural or the easiest way for me to live either because, well, if I get married, I have kids.

Well –

What are my kids going to call me?

So the dad is going to be dad, but am I going to be mom?

Am I going to be dad?

It doesn't feel natural either way.

And what about how am I going to teach these kids about this in a way that won't lead to confusion later in adulthood for them?

I think there is a systemic failure in really realistically talking about this in the doctor's office on both the part of the patient having difficulty really reflecting on where the real problems lie and also on the doctors doing the same thing but reinforcing it.

And –

When you're about to make...

really any lifelong change, you have to be realistic with yourself.

You have to, when you're, if you're thinking about going down this route, which it is permanent, once you've gone down, once you've lived years as the opposite sex socially, or if you do the drugs or have the surgeries, there is no reversing that, even if you choose to detransition.

And you have to think about the permanence of it, but you also have to really

to really think about how it's going to age for you.

Because the way that a transition plays out is going to change over the course of a year, five years, 10 years, over the decades of your life.

And when you look at the long-term outcomes of these treatments, it doesn't

it doesn't age well.