Chloe LaBranch

You guys don't know what it's like to have a problem.

So they call the ambulance.

And they make me go to the hospital outside UCLA.

And then, like, I get let go from the hospital at, like, 7 a.m.

I'm wearing a hospital gown.

I have a bag just of, like, Marlboro Lights and a crop top.

And so I don't know what to do, but across from the UCLA hospital are the UCLA frat houses.

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

So I walk in, right?

And I start fucking this guy.

No, I get it, I get it, I get it.

No, so I knock on the door of SAE.

And so I know the code.

If anyone wants to know, you just say Phi Alpha, brother.

And...

And I go in, and I'm like, wearing a hospital gown, and they have to let me in, because I say, and I'm like, I need a fucking drink.

And they give me, like, a beer, and I'm like, come on, don't you have anything harder?

And they're like, whoa, last night we had, like, jungle parties, so, like, we used all the hard alcohol, but we have beer, and the hot girls, I'm like, oh, we're not saying you're not hot, but... So then I'm, like, drinking a beer, preaching, I'm like, you guys never do drugs, right?

What time of the day is this?

7 a.m.