Chris Addison

The game of Count the Zulus at Rourke's Drift.

Very tricky to do because they were moving quite fast at the time.

It's a lot harder to see when you've got a spear in your eye.

The Viet Cong, of course, managed to play hide-and-seek with the Americans for 19 years without it ever being the Americans' turn to hide.

A record unbeaten to this day.

I feel that sporting aspect just adds a welcome bit of fun in a war to what can otherwise be quite a tense atmosphere.

And that leads me to think that actually,

Perhaps if more wars leant into the sporting angle and away from the killing each other angle, they would be cheaper, faster and less likely to lead to badly put together history videos on YouTube.

For example, there would be no need for China and Taiwan to go to war over the island if they just agreed to sort it out with the best of three T20 series.

In fact, maybe war should be sportified entirely.

Once every four years, all the nations of the Earth could meet in a knockout tournament featuring a different sport every time.

One year, swing ball.

The next, 200-metre freestyle.

The next, slapsies.

Winner takes control of the global trade in rare earth metals, but also has to host Eurovision.

Every time I write something like that, I think, we must have done this in the department.

Oh, FIFA.

Oh, FIFA.

FIFA.

It's how it meets the culture over there.