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Chapter 1: What happened during Trump's late-night call with Netanyahu?
The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello, Buglers, and welcome to issue 4382 of the Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. I'm Andy Zaltzman. It's the 9th of June, 2026. The world is still turning as we record. Actually, let me just check online. Well, there's no confirmation either way as to whether or not the world is turning. Anyway, fingers crossed.
If you're listening to this, you won't be able to see me staring down the barrel of a camera and thinking how much podcasting has changed. And in this new era of, I remember when it was Allfield, I'm joined by Sarah Barron.
Chapter 2: What are the implications of the UK government's social media ban for kids?
And for the first time in nearly two years, welcome back, Chris Addison. Hello to both of you.
Hello, Andy. Lovely to be back with you at last. I haven't been able to do the Bugle for a couple of years, largely because I've been hosting its sister podcast, The Broigel, the satirical podcast about 16th century Dutch peasant scenes. Sections going to block up the dyke this week include Cone or Smurf? How pointy is your hat? What wagon?
Including a review of the new sporty five-spoke cartwheel from Donkervoort. And a column by Jeremy Clarkson calling for people to protest the new three mile an hour limit on intervillage mud tracks.
Chapter 3: Why was Somalian referee Omar Artan denied entry to the US?
And the lifestyle section, including an interview with Holland's oldest man, who tells us the secrets of living to 36. All those sections blocking up the day.
Well, it's good to have you back on. It's so nice to be here.
Well, I'm fine, but I always, despite, you know, as many times as I feel like I've been here, each one always a joy. I always forget that I should have like a little something. You gave so much. All I have is, when we last saw each other, it was winter-ish. I had a dog. Oh, yeah.
Chapter 4: What are the reactions to Trump's behavior in recent interviews?
Still have a dog. Oh, yeah. Getting into the flow of it a little bit more, big update is my mother, a famous animal hater, came to visit, looked after her. Big plot twist. At the age of 79, my mother thought that when a dog... you have to wipe its ass. What? Yes. What? So she called me, and she was like, the dog?
Chapter 5: How do Trump's actions reflect on US-Israel relations?
In my family, we call it a BM. P.S., I'm going to mention it twice. This is only the first.
That's all right.
We call it a BM in my family. She goes, Sarah, the dog did a BM. And I have the bag, but you didn't give me any wipes. And I went, Ma, you don't wipe a dog's butt. It's like a self-cleaning butt. So you did all your preparation and your writing, but my mom thought you had to wipe a dog bottom.
Chapter 6: What controversies surround the upcoming World Cup?
Well, let me tell you, one of those things will be remembered by people, and it involves a dog's bottom.
Exactly. Isn't that fascinating?
Every day is a school day.
Isn't it?
I mean, it depends what kind of school you go to, I guess. I don't want to figure it out. What does BM stand for?
Are you kidding me?
Big movement?
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Chapter 7: What are the latest updates on the James Bond casting rumors?
Bowel movement. What did you call it as a little kid? A poop?
I don't recall. I think we probably called it fecal matter. The expulsion of fecal matter. We called it an AFM.
We're quite a formal family. Anyway, moving on. It's the 9th of June, 2026, meaning it is 10 years since it was two weeks before the Brexit referendum.
Chapter 8: How does the podcast conclude with a call to action for listeners?
Can you believe that? A vote that was half prank, half strop, half flounce, half cry for help, half sadomasochismo in democratic form, half nervous tick and 0% mathematics. It's also exactly 100 years and one day since architect Antonio Gaudi died at the age of 73 after coming off on the wrong side of a contretemps with a Barcelona tram.
He thus left his celebrity church, the Sagrada Familia, tantalisingly unfinished. If he could have only clung on for another 100 years, he would have lived to see the Sagrada Familia tantalisingly unfinished. It's taken a while, that. Are they done yet? No, not done. When are they done? Well, I'm not sure.
It seems that they seem to be nearly done quite a lot of the time and then keep finding extra.
It's a very old street roundabout. You know, that thing? It just never... It never gets done. Well, I mean, now it is done, but I felt like it was like 27 years.
It would never get done. I think if I recall correctly from my last visit to Barcelona, it's near a shop that does really good churros. And so if I were working on that, I'd be in the cafe most of the time. I think that's basically the problem.
I think that is definitely the problem. But it's still... I think it's knocking on 150 years now, which... I mean, even by medieval standards, that's a little bit slight.
It's quite possible that twice the Sagrada Familia's weight in churros has been consumed by the various generations of building types who've worked on it.
See, the spires look like they could be some sort of churros, churros-influenced. As always, a section of the Bugle is going straight in the bin. This week, following the political reaction to the tragic murder of Henry Novak in Southampton, a special edition of the new podcast series Do Not Do This Under Any Circumstances.
It's a special episode entitled All the Reasons You Should Not Hijack Someone Else's Devastating Personal Tragedy for Your Own Political Benefit. It's a 57-hour programme.
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