Chris Addison

I mean, I think on some level, one part of my brain intentionally wakes me.

I have a sort of daily appointment with all the reasons that I'm a c**k.

And my brain goes through those at roughly that time in the morning.

Often it's earlier.

Last night, actually, 4.38 was pretty good going.

fundamentally that's what happens.

It is that thing where you've sort of forgotten to put your Do Not Disturb on and at 4.30 in the morning your Apple Watch, which you're wearing to monitor your sleep, pings and says something like, your son's phone is at 8%, get in to recharge it.

Oh, I go through my deepest insecurities and self-loathing.

It's a really positive way to start the day.

I can't recommend it highly enough.

I'm thinking of writing a book called Call Yourself a C*** in the Middle of the Night.

I think it'll really stand out in the self-help section.

Great.

It's not an ideal opening to the day.

And sometimes, you know, like I always feel like, funnily enough, one of the best sounds in the world for me is the alarm going off under specific circumstances.

Those circumstances are, I didn't wake up.

I didn't wake up and the alarm went off.

Feels like an absolute triumph to me.

I'm sure there's a file at Radio 4 about why I'm a c*** and various other broadcasting organisations.

It might not be couched in those terms, but that will be the fundamental spirit of the thing.