Chris Johns

It's not constant between people.

And you just have to let it be.

And I'd be accepting that this is a process that may have no end.

There's no such thing as getting over it.

You don't get over these things ever.

You just learn...

sense of acceptance that this has happened and you used some words earlier on in our conversation about um how it changes you it does you be and accept that you're just you've just become a different person and and um perhaps even if you can have some fun with learning about that new person because there there are things that happen that you actually almost feel grateful for i'm

you know, my, my ability to tolerate bullshit from anybody who's never, never that high to begin with, but it's, it's absolutely zero.

Now, um, the, the value I place on authenticity in all things is, is, is very, very high.

to keep doing it because the day you stop you feel like it's a betrayal yeah so that's what the rumination will do to you is that in part anyway is that you think you'll think back um through time um and you you talk there about feeling guilty about not going to the to the grave you start feeling guilty about all sorts of things you know the times where i could have been a much better husband you know

Those are very destructive thoughts and you have to try hard to leave them alone because you haven't got a time machine to go back and relitigate those times that you could have been better.

And the brain is an incredible thing during these times is that it goes there rather than to all of the good things that you might have done in the past.

That is an interesting one.

That's a separate discussion.

The other hand is rapidly becoming stuff to fall asleep to.

But I kind of sort of known all that, known that for a while.

We haven't had time to go into the other major topic that you introduced in your brilliant column last Saturday, which is assisted dying.

Shall we leave that to another time?

Or would you like to say something now?

I don't know whether you... I think this is going to sound a bit bizarre to say we got lucky.