Chris Schembra
speaker
85 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Nov 2024
Chris Schembra’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And me communicating that story actually gave me the introduction to my book, which I was struggling to come up with for 15 months.
I'm not going to downplay, and you mark my words, people, I'm not going to downplay non-suicidal self-injury. But if it took me going there, in order to find the words to say to go there, well then, yeah, I'm super grateful for it.
But I'm also the guy who, when I was robbed inside my own home and police then had to come and fill out the police report and I had to cancel three client, well, three prospect sales calls And then each one of them, I said, oh yeah, I was being robbed in my own home when we were supposed to be on the phone. Thank you for rescheduling. I won every single deal.
So did me getting robbed in my own home help me make a ton of money? Yeah. So these are things you could be grateful for. People walk around this world with regret, with shame, with guilt, imposter syndrome, whatever. The opposite of each of those things is a positive emotion.
So the opposite of walking around like an entitled asshole is being a humble, curious, question-asking, supportive, empathetic person. Okay. So what if we could de-stigmatize the guilt you have about being entitled and reinforce the positive of being curious and empathetic? What if we can destigmatize the negative emotion around regret? What do you regret giving up on too soon in life?
Let's destigmatize that negative emotion and actually give gratitude to the positive benefits that came from actually what you did choose to pursue in life. Great. The opposite of every negative is a positive. Ingratitude, gratitude. Regret, gratitude. Entitlement, humility. Adversity, superpower, whatever. And so I just applied some of those things
Because we had learned that through our virtual gratitude experiences and the stories that people have been sharing through the years.
I read a book, Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. In it, he mentions the Stoics. On the back, he mentions a guy named Ryan Holiday. Ryan Holiday is a guy that when he was 19 years old, he picked up a book by an ancient Stoic, Marcus Aurelius. And Ryan Holiday became the modern interpreter of Stoics. the ancient Stoics.
He would write books like The Obstacle is the Way, Ego is the Enemy, Stillness is Key. It was amazing. And then I read Oliver Berkman's book, 4,000 Weeks, Time Management for Mortals. And essentially what Stoicism is, as defined by Nisam Tlaib, And I've COVID brain, so I need to actually go into my book to get this.
But essentially what Nisam Tlaib defined stoicism as principles that will help you transform fear into prudence, pain into information, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking. The famous thing that Ryan Holiday quotes that Marcus Aurelius, a great emperor, of Rome 2,000 years ago once said was, the mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting.
The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. So as I started reading all these books, I started realizing, oh my God, the truest answers to life don't come from the positive things, They come from how you accept, conquer, learn from, use to your advantage, the negative things. And so then I just started reading all the ancient Stoics.
And what I realized is, so the great Stoics and then Ryan Holiday and Oliver Berkman and Mark Manson and Sebastian Junger and all these great people, they hinted at gratitude for like a paragraph, right? But they didn't write an entire book about the relationship between gratitude and stoicism. So we wanted to go out there and write that book.
we will go deeper into the relationship between gratitude and stoicism in future books. Look, every time that I would see someone zig in life, I had the instinct to zag every time, especially now that I see people diving deeper and deeper into like the woo positivity space to like solve their ailments through difficult times. The more I want to go the polar opposite way.
Nobody, nobody has come to me and said, Oh my God, you believe in giving gratitude to the fluffy wuffy. You're so refreshing. No, I've got like one of the coolest people on the planet. You literally saying, dude, you're anti, you know, cultural gratitude. The hard times thingy is refreshing as hell. And I'm like, yeah, that's what we go for. That's what we go for.
So Heather, if you don't mind me asking, what's one moment of adversity you've overcome in your life that none of your listeners know about?
I'm pretty sure. I think you're the wrong person for me to have asked that too, because you've done so much work around it.
Shame is my homeboy. Can I challenge one of you 100,000 people out there to please get like a tattoo of shame is my homeboy and let's get Action Bronson to get it and just like do an episode of Fuck That's Delicious and have a really good time.
Oh man. I mean, Heather, you got me emotional when I was telling that story. You know, I tell that story so much, but I don't actually get the opportunity to feel the emotion behind the story. That's one of the negatives of making your life story, your actual like message in your business and everything is that like it loses its impact on you and you kind of forget about it sometimes.
But I want to quote Maya Angelou in closing for those of you out there, Maya Angelou, the don't know Maya Angelou is a poet and artist and activist, a Nobel laureate, you name it. And she once said, people won't remember what you did. They won't remember what you said, but they'll always remember how you made them feel. And Heather, you've given me that gift of feeling part of my life story.
And I will never forget this moment. And I thank you for that. It forever bonds us. It's part of Google's promotion to emotion study. The next time you're going to sell me something, I'll pay the premium for it. No, but it's moments like these folks that you got to live for.
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