Chris Williamson

If you try and reverse engineer, force your way into doing something that you don't feel like doing, that's a pretty guaranteed way to self-destruct at some point.

There is a great line about dating, which is you can't negotiate desire.

And I think the same thing is kind of true here, which is you can't even negotiate your own desire.

convince somebody else to find you attractive if they don't, but you can't convince yourself to want to do something if you don't.

How many times have you been in a relationship with somebody that on paper is all of the things that you want in a partner?

And for some reason, this is when people say the spark's not there.

It's just not quite right.

I don't know what it is.

I don't feel compelled or whatever by them.

You're trying to dictate to yourself, hey, feel this way.

and you don't.

And if you're saying being single is fun, I imagine it's very fun in Dublin.

You're denying yourself the thing that you're enjoying in an attempt to try and do a thing that you think that you should.

Now, is there a limit to this?

Probably.

If you've ran through half of Dublin, might be time to give it a bit of a break.

But

at least if it's not on your radar, if it's only on your radar because you feel obliged to, I don't think that it's something that you need to think about because it's just going to result in failure.

Now, that's where you do the self-work.

That's when you spend some time journaling and you think, well, maybe I'm scared of intimacy.