Christian Huff

So like, why would I mean, I didn't have anyone to look up to of like.

You know, this guy has talked about this openly.

And like, so I was just like searching for anyone.

Like, does anyone understand me?

Does anyone, can anyone relate to what I'm feeling?

And it just was a challenge because like when I became a Christian, you know, I had become a Christian actually my junior year in college at a passion conference.

And so, and I had in that moment when I responded to the gospel and I was like, oh, this is like a relationship.

It's not just religion that I had grown up with.

And when I entered that, I was like all these promises to God of like, yeah, I'm never, I'm never going to do that thing.

You know, for me, it was same sex attraction.

I'm never going to like act out in that again.

I made all these promises, but I didn't have any discipleship of like, okay, there's a sanctification process here.

So we were figuring that out.

That was what was happening in our dating of me.

What I did is I found community before we got married.

I actually figured out with, I had a band at the time.

And so I opened up to one of my band members.

And then him, he was the first person and I had to figure out what it was like for me to be in a healthy relationship with a guy and like how to actually be vulnerable with him and share what my mind was doing.

And, you know, with this struggle in particular, there's so much shame and so much

it really is just the enemy's plan is shame in it.