Christian Huff

Like, here's the plans that I have for you all along.

This is me after this was me full marriage.

Yeah, that's that's really that's very interesting.

I think like looking back, I probably I was really good at hiding the thing because I was terrified of what people would say about me.

So I did hide it and I led.

And in those seasons, I was in.

you know, we, we weren't on staff at a church, we were traveling and it was like, um, trying to figure out with the community that I was building, like how to walk out of that lifestyle.

And like, it wasn't even a lifestyle.

Cause it was like, it was like, I would like act out in it and then like, you know, go six months, a year or whatever.

And then maybe something else would happen.

But through that, it was just kind of like this whole process that, that took a long time for me to like figure that out.

But as I started,

struggled through that and journeyed through that, like there were longer stints.

And one thing that was really important to me as I got healthy, as I started like really becoming a whole person, because I was really good at compartmentalizing.

This thing happens on the side, then I go over here and like go lead worship.

All because the Lord, I loved the Lord.

I loved Him, but I just didn't know how to handle my desires mixed with my calling.

And then it was like, I needed to figure out how all that merged.

And once that all healthily merged and came together in a way where I'm like now talking about it, not afraid of it, sharing the thing because I believe you cannot be healed from the things that you keep hidden.

So once all that kind of merged, I do feel like there was like a new found freedom that I that I started walking in that was better than what I had ever experienced before.