Christina Aguilera

And I always I appreciate that, you know, because I've been through the gamut of a lot of interviews and people that, you know, I grew up at a time where it was like appropriate to be inappropriate and ask questions.

And I always I appreciate that, you know, because I've been through the gamut of a lot of interviews and people that, you know, I grew up at a time where it was like appropriate to be inappropriate and ask questions.

your childhood it could have been i haven't really dissected that that part but um i always dreamt really big you know i always jumped really big and uh and uh yeah it it could be looking for some sort of maybe escapism i mean i think half the people that are

your childhood it could have been i haven't really dissected that that part but um i always dreamt really big you know i always jumped really big and uh and uh yeah it it could be looking for some sort of maybe escapism i mean i think half the people that are

in this business where we need uh you know it's it sucks because we're the most sensitive people on the planet yet we're looking for like you know but we have this like you know alter ego that we have to turn on to get the work done and to and to you know follow a schedule but also that makes us so vulnerable and in needing some kind of weird validation

in this business where we need uh you know it's it sucks because we're the most sensitive people on the planet yet we're looking for like you know but we have this like you know alter ego that we have to turn on to get the work done and to and to you know follow a schedule but also that makes us so vulnerable and in needing some kind of weird validation

I was still in New York. I was living, I was on my own pretty early too, trying to get a record deal. And so I was like, you know, house hopping from like odd places from my manager's house at the time to another manager. Like it was very odd and weird. And I would, again, mama bear, like never with my daughter. Like I would be so like protective and overseeing all that.

I was still in New York. I was living, I was on my own pretty early too, trying to get a record deal. And so I was like, you know, house hopping from like odd places from my manager's house at the time to another manager. Like it was very odd and weird. And I would, again, mama bear, like never with my daughter. Like I would be so like protective and overseeing all that.

which is a whole other story but in new york yeah was where i started hearing it um on the radio for the first time so the album wasn't completely done and out and i would just remember hearing that and i was just like oh my god and it took me back to like driving around the car in pittsburgh and only hoping that i would like

which is a whole other story but in new york yeah was where i started hearing it um on the radio for the first time so the album wasn't completely done and out and i would just remember hearing that and i was just like oh my god and it took me back to like driving around the car in pittsburgh and only hoping that i would like

christina aguilera welcome to color daddy hi i'm staring at your nails oh yeah what's happening they're so fun you know they're um you know it's open to interpretation is that a vagina it could be a vagina it could be lips but two in the same both pleasure points you know and then on the um and then there's an actual mouth on the um

christina aguilera welcome to color daddy hi i'm staring at your nails oh yeah what's happening they're so fun you know they're um you know it's open to interpretation is that a vagina it could be a vagina it could be lips but two in the same both pleasure points you know and then on the um and then there's an actual mouth on the um

kind of in sketchy situations where the world probably wouldn't even fucking fathom that Christina Aguilera wasn't like set up and all good but what were you emotionally going through at that time oh man that's a loaded question what was I emotionally going through at that time I mean looking back I probably I didn't have much time to even think about anything I was given the schedule I was told what to do you know told what to do um

kind of in sketchy situations where the world probably wouldn't even fucking fathom that Christina Aguilera wasn't like set up and all good but what were you emotionally going through at that time oh man that's a loaded question what was I emotionally going through at that time I mean looking back I probably I didn't have much time to even think about anything I was given the schedule I was told what to do you know told what to do um

My true opinion didn't really matter from everything. I remember being told what to wear, what the image was going to be, and not feeling super comfortable. That's also the product of a kid being raised in the business, too. Growing up and you're constantly being told by adults, and mainly men, how and what to be. And you're hearing conversations, too, of what they...

My true opinion didn't really matter from everything. I remember being told what to wear, what the image was going to be, and not feeling super comfortable. That's also the product of a kid being raised in the business, too. Growing up and you're constantly being told by adults, and mainly men, how and what to be. And you're hearing conversations, too, of what they...

their ideal, you know, woman should be and look like. And so at a young impressionable age, like I just remember it was just so you take certain things on and then you have to like reprogram to think for yourself and what makes sense for you. So it's a lot, you know, to take on.

their ideal, you know, woman should be and look like. And so at a young impressionable age, like I just remember it was just so you take certain things on and then you have to like reprogram to think for yourself and what makes sense for you. So it's a lot, you know, to take on.

So your dreams are coming true, but you're not quite getting to be the person that you want to be and telling the stories you want to tell.

So your dreams are coming true, but you're not quite getting to be the person that you want to be and telling the stories you want to tell.

I didn't live through all that for nothing.

I didn't live through all that for nothing.

I mean, it's a lot. I mean, you could only imagine. It's difficult enough growing up and trying to figure it out away from the camera, but being, you know, in front of it and, you know, scrutinized and picked apart and judged and everybody's got a different opinion.

I mean, it's a lot. I mean, you could only imagine. It's difficult enough growing up and trying to figure it out away from the camera, but being, you know, in front of it and, you know, scrutinized and picked apart and judged and everybody's got a different opinion.

That's the one thing I learned really early on is like, whoa, no matter what I do, like somebody's going to be anti it and somebody's not going to be happy with it. And I was like...

That's the one thing I learned really early on is like, whoa, no matter what I do, like somebody's going to be anti it and somebody's not going to be happy with it. And I was like...

and i'd always diaried and journaled and like i always had this thank god this core sense of myself and what i wanted my purposes and my messages to do and and to help and that's what i feel like kept me riding that core line of like bringing me back to real purpose and and to be authentic with what i did

and i'd always diaried and journaled and like i always had this thank god this core sense of myself and what i wanted my purposes and my messages to do and and to help and that's what i feel like kept me riding that core line of like bringing me back to real purpose and and to be authentic with what i did

Yeah. So many things popping through my mind. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. Like 10 answers that I could think of. But yes, I was actually surprised because like I was so in my zone of just like expressing and creating this album and and just truly trying to make every facet of it speak of myself as as a woman. And I didn't and I didn't want to fit a box of like

Yeah. So many things popping through my mind. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. Like 10 answers that I could think of. But yes, I was actually surprised because like I was so in my zone of just like expressing and creating this album and and just truly trying to make every facet of it speak of myself as as a woman. And I didn't and I didn't want to fit a box of like

I'm sweet and vulnerable and demure and I'm gonna you know do the programmed you know pop format but I'm not any particular one thing or one brand and that's what I did not like about the business is the fact that they immediately try to box you and label it so that it's easier for them to understand

I'm sweet and vulnerable and demure and I'm gonna you know do the programmed you know pop format but I'm not any particular one thing or one brand and that's what I did not like about the business is the fact that they immediately try to box you and label it so that it's easier for them to understand

But it was hard, you know, being a kid and being like, oh, my God, I'm just trying to live my life. I'm 21. I'm having fun. Like these were my college years. You know, this was my moment, except everybody could see it. But I was happy. You know, I'm an artist at the end of the day. I you know how this is how I express myself, you know.

But it was hard, you know, being a kid and being like, oh, my God, I'm just trying to live my life. I'm 21. I'm having fun. Like these were my college years. You know, this was my moment, except everybody could see it. But I was happy. You know, I'm an artist at the end of the day. I you know how this is how I express myself, you know.

And I wasn't just coming with dirty, you know, then we came with beautiful and then we came with fighter, which was a representation kind of of, you know, my past and going against the grain of people that I felt really wronged me. Because that's another thing you, you know, people steal from you, people that are so close to you.

And I wasn't just coming with dirty, you know, then we came with beautiful and then we came with fighter, which was a representation kind of of, you know, my past and going against the grain of people that I felt really wronged me. Because that's another thing you, you know, people steal from you, people that are so close to you.

I remember being so devastated about people that I, that really disappointed me to my core that I was like, I feel really alone. You know, like it was, it really like, and then you want to retreat and then you want to get defense mechanisms up and then you don't trust anyone. Like as if I didn't already have trust issues, you know, from my childhood. I was about to say. Layers on layers on layers.

I remember being so devastated about people that I, that really disappointed me to my core that I was like, I feel really alone. You know, like it was, it really like, and then you want to retreat and then you want to get defense mechanisms up and then you don't trust anyone. Like as if I didn't already have trust issues, you know, from my childhood. I was about to say. Layers on layers on layers.

But, but in any case, you know, it's part of my journey. It's, it's what I was meant to go through. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way because it's, Had I not gone through all these things, I wouldn't sing the way I do. I wouldn't create the way I do. I wouldn't write the way I do. I was like a sponge. I just took it all in. And when I was ready to just be like, no more, I don't care.

But, but in any case, you know, it's part of my journey. It's, it's what I was meant to go through. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way because it's, Had I not gone through all these things, I wouldn't sing the way I do. I wouldn't create the way I do. I wouldn't write the way I do. I was like a sponge. I just took it all in. And when I was ready to just be like, no more, I don't care.

And I remember being quoted saying, I don't care this next record if I sell one record or one million.

And I remember being quoted saying, I don't care this next record if I sell one record or one million.

all the the cool like accolades and stuff that's amazing i'm grateful but at the end of the day i have to like sit with myself and feel like i'm contributing a bigger thing to the world than just a pop song and a chart and an award like it's deeper than that to me and that's what i always and that's what i set out to do with stripped and i was able to do it thank god you know after getting my foot in the door but i was gonna then play by my own rules and represent the kind of woman that i wanted to be

all the the cool like accolades and stuff that's amazing i'm grateful but at the end of the day i have to like sit with myself and feel like i'm contributing a bigger thing to the world than just a pop song and a chart and an award like it's deeper than that to me and that's what i always and that's what i set out to do with stripped and i was able to do it thank god you know after getting my foot in the door but i was gonna then play by my own rules and represent the kind of woman that i wanted to be

i mean it's got to be probably stripped and dirty and beautiful and fighter can't hold us down you know the it was the time when i was turning you know i was 20 21 i'd already gotten my foot in the door and my first album was successful but it was still very like played played by the rules and you know very given a you know set by you know label very very label driven and um

i mean it's got to be probably stripped and dirty and beautiful and fighter can't hold us down you know the it was the time when i was turning you know i was 20 21 i'd already gotten my foot in the door and my first album was successful but it was still very like played played by the rules and you know very given a you know set by you know label very very label driven and um

I wanted to always own it. You know, it was important to me. I didn't. I think also, you know, the older I got and the more and by that time, you know, for most people that would maybe be in your like 30s to have that mindset of like, I'm going to do things my way. You know, I mean, I'd grown up with so many opinions that I was just like, okay. I'm not going to play by your rules.

I wanted to always own it. You know, it was important to me. I didn't. I think also, you know, the older I got and the more and by that time, you know, for most people that would maybe be in your like 30s to have that mindset of like, I'm going to do things my way. You know, I mean, I'd grown up with so many opinions that I was just like, okay. I'm not going to play by your rules.

I'm not going to see myself as you see me. I'm going to own my sexuality for myself. Sexuality is a beautiful thing. And we need to take care of it as women. We need to really make sure that we prioritize it and ourselves and what it means to us because every woman is different. And I never wanted to also insert the fact that I was so comfortable with my sexuality and like, yeah.

I'm not going to see myself as you see me. I'm going to own my sexuality for myself. Sexuality is a beautiful thing. And we need to take care of it as women. We need to really make sure that we prioritize it and ourselves and what it means to us because every woman is different. And I never wanted to also insert the fact that I was so comfortable with my sexuality and like, yeah.

Like we're going to dance it. We're going to, you know what I mean? Like all this stuff. I never wanted to also, you know, even though it did anyway, make some women like, you know, uh, uncomfortable with what I was doing, but I never wanted to make it like, you know, you have to be this way too. Like everyone has their different comfort zone with it.

Like we're going to dance it. We're going to, you know what I mean? Like all this stuff. I never wanted to also, you know, even though it did anyway, make some women like, you know, uh, uncomfortable with what I was doing, but I never wanted to make it like, you know, you have to be this way too. Like everyone has their different comfort zone with it.

And, and just because I want to express myself this way, like let, again, let people live, you know, like let everybody own it the way and they need to own it. Let's talk about it, you know? And, and back then, you know, that's what's cool about what you do, what you do, is we're able to have these open conversations now.

And, and just because I want to express myself this way, like let, again, let people live, you know, like let everybody own it the way and they need to own it. Let's talk about it, you know? And, and back then, you know, that's what's cool about what you do, what you do, is we're able to have these open conversations now.

Now I see women more than ever talking to each other and it's like, okay, and so accessible with our phones and like social media, that's the positive of it and everything is that we get to like have more accessibility to each other.

Now I see women more than ever talking to each other and it's like, okay, and so accessible with our phones and like social media, that's the positive of it and everything is that we get to like have more accessibility to each other.

And be like, is this happening to you too? Right.

And be like, is this happening to you too? Right.

But I didn't have that back then. So, yes, it was it was very hard and very terrifying. And I took so much personal. I really did. And then you have people in this situation. This is why you're my first podcast, because, you know, you're so used to creating these like certain walls and defense mechanisms because you're just like people are baiting you.

But I didn't have that back then. So, yes, it was it was very hard and very terrifying. And I took so much personal. I really did. And then you have people in this situation. This is why you're my first podcast, because, you know, you're so used to creating these like certain walls and defense mechanisms because you're just like people are baiting you.

And then you're like, wait, I didn't say that. And I didn't say it like that. You know how it is.

And then you're like, wait, I didn't say that. And I didn't say it like that. You know how it is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I didn't really have time for that, but I did... I always went for things that I would feel safe about. Like, you know, we'd have our, you know, you'd travel and you'd meet certain people. But I was, it's so funny that I gave this persona because I probably was like the last person to lose my virginity. And like, you know, I just, I don't know. It was something that was for me.

I didn't really have time for that, but I did... I always went for things that I would feel safe about. Like, you know, we'd have our, you know, you'd travel and you'd meet certain people. But I was, it's so funny that I gave this persona because I probably was like the last person to lose my virginity. And like, you know, I just, I don't know. It was something that was for me.

You know what I mean? And that's, I guess, why my messages went the way they did too is because I owned it first.

You know what I mean? And that's, I guess, why my messages went the way they did too is because I owned it first.

maybe um but it doesn't matter how it goes down as long as you find your way and your path with being comfortable with yourself but um we always get like off topic when did you lose your virginity bring me back tell us it was later than you would think okay you know given the girl that was doing dirty and all this you know but yeah it's just it's more of a funny thing looking back where it's just like people thought probably like you were popping off

maybe um but it doesn't matter how it goes down as long as you find your way and your path with being comfortable with yourself but um we always get like off topic when did you lose your virginity bring me back tell us it was later than you would think okay you know given the girl that was doing dirty and all this you know but yeah it's just it's more of a funny thing looking back where it's just like people thought probably like you were popping off

And so after that, I, you know, was like, you know, I have to do songs that mean something to me and are valid to who I am and and being fearless and talking about anything. And that includes sexuality. I felt that there was like a lot of shame and fear around the subject. And and especially, you know, as a woman, we're raised with a lot of stigma. There's a lot of you know, it's so layered.

And so after that, I, you know, was like, you know, I have to do songs that mean something to me and are valid to who I am and and being fearless and talking about anything. And that includes sexuality. I felt that there was like a lot of shame and fear around the subject. And and especially, you know, as a woman, we're raised with a lot of stigma. There's a lot of you know, it's so layered.

But yeah, it was, I had, you know, I had certain dancers that were like close quarter because you have to like, you know, you're traveling a lot and you have accessibility to only so many things. So, you know, it is what it is. And then, you know, like... I mean, yeah. A lot of things that I'm just like, yeah, maybe I should have realized he wasn't looking at me. He wasn't interested in me.

But yeah, it was, I had, you know, I had certain dancers that were like close quarter because you have to like, you know, you're traveling a lot and you have accessibility to only so many things. So, you know, it is what it is. And then, you know, like... I mean, yeah. A lot of things that I'm just like, yeah, maybe I should have realized he wasn't looking at me. He wasn't interested in me.

He was looking at him. No! Christina! There's a lot of things that I'm just like, oh, sad. I feel bad for my younger self. Oh, sad.

He was looking at him. No! Christina! There's a lot of things that I'm just like, oh, sad. I feel bad for my younger self. Oh, sad.

Yeah, I definitely, I've had my experiences, but I also like... I mean, my life is hectic enough. And, like, this is a very narcissistic industry. And, like, my anxieties couldn't maybe take somebody that did the exact same thing I did and, like, ran around and traveled. It's like, I know how this goes. Like, I'm too, like, I'm too... too vulnerable for this. I'm too sensitive to be so paranoid.

Yeah, I definitely, I've had my experiences, but I also like... I mean, my life is hectic enough. And, like, this is a very narcissistic industry. And, like, my anxieties couldn't maybe take somebody that did the exact same thing I did and, like, ran around and traveled. It's like, I know how this goes. Like, I'm too, like, I'm too... too vulnerable for this. I'm too sensitive to be so paranoid.

So this business is very demanding. It's a lot. And yeah, I've definitely not been into the celebrity thing.

So this business is very demanding. It's a lot. And yeah, I've definitely not been into the celebrity thing.

It's just annoying more than anything else. I don't want to be corny and be like... But it really is to me about intentions, you know? And if it doesn't feel right to me, like I just can't do it. I have a really hard time forcing myself. It wasn't interesting to me. I don't know.

It's just annoying more than anything else. I don't want to be corny and be like... But it really is to me about intentions, you know? And if it doesn't feel right to me, like I just can't do it. I have a really hard time forcing myself. It wasn't interesting to me. I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. I've you know, I've had I just if it's not real to me and authentic, I can't do it. You know, I can't force something as personal as that.

Yeah. Yeah. I've you know, I've had I just if it's not real to me and authentic, I can't do it. You know, I can't force something as personal as that.

Oh, yeah, 100%. I mean, I went through a bad period at a certain time where even, like, the clicking of the camera paparazzi, like, just was so, like, upsetting to me. I'd, like, have a panic attack. And I know I've heard other celebrities actually say this, too. And then you have really horrible stories that happen whenever you –

Oh, yeah, 100%. I mean, I went through a bad period at a certain time where even, like, the clicking of the camera paparazzi, like, just was so, like, upsetting to me. I'd, like, have a panic attack. And I know I've heard other celebrities actually say this, too. And then you have really horrible stories that happen whenever you –

again starting to believe a narrative you know and then um yeah it's a very weird thing um uh that kind of attention and that that kind of um that world so yeah that that is a part of too why it's just like you know it's very anxiety riding for me you know um let's talk a little bit about relationships and then we're going to talk about sex

again starting to believe a narrative you know and then um yeah it's a very weird thing um uh that kind of attention and that that kind of um that world so yeah that that is a part of too why it's just like you know it's very anxiety riding for me you know um let's talk a little bit about relationships and then we're going to talk about sex

Yeah, you know, it's still a process sometimes to really, you have to check yourself too. I think there's accountability in, you know, things that even though they're not your fault, you're still conditioned and programmed in a way of fear and paranoia. And also sometimes not given a good guideline can really mess you up, you know, because sometimes then it's like, is this normal?

Yeah, you know, it's still a process sometimes to really, you have to check yourself too. I think there's accountability in, you know, things that even though they're not your fault, you're still conditioned and programmed in a way of fear and paranoia. And also sometimes not given a good guideline can really mess you up, you know, because sometimes then it's like, is this normal?

And it's tough to be a woman. So I wanted to really be who I was and make it a safe space for, you know, everyone to feel good and make it a conversation.

And it's tough to be a woman. So I wanted to really be who I was and make it a safe space for, you know, everyone to feel good and make it a conversation.

Or is this just like, or is this something I need to leave the relationship for? Like I'm so like into being like, okay, wait, do I need to be taking this shit right now? Or can I walk, or should I walk the fuck away? Like, you know what I mean? Like what's normal? What's like, so it's a constant. I, you know, I'm, I believe in therapy too. The right kind of therapy.

Or is this just like, or is this something I need to leave the relationship for? Like I'm so like into being like, okay, wait, do I need to be taking this shit right now? Or can I walk, or should I walk the fuck away? Like, you know what I mean? Like what's normal? What's like, so it's a constant. I, you know, I'm, I believe in therapy too. The right kind of therapy.

I think just, yeah, how hurt I was because I was so into this being like, one day I'm going to make it and I'm going to see myself on MTV and all this stuff. It was such a dream and coming from such a good place to all of a sudden you're shook by... all the shit that comes with the success. And yeah, I think it's sad when I see how

I think just, yeah, how hurt I was because I was so into this being like, one day I'm going to make it and I'm going to see myself on MTV and all this stuff. It was such a dream and coming from such a good place to all of a sudden you're shook by... all the shit that comes with the success. And yeah, I think it's sad when I see how

how some like press and articles and some interviews that were just so taken out of context or just mean like how hurt I was by that, truly like affected. And then, yeah, it just makes you internalize negative thoughts about yourself and feelings. If you can share, what was something specific?

how some like press and articles and some interviews that were just so taken out of context or just mean like how hurt I was by that, truly like affected. And then, yeah, it just makes you internalize negative thoughts about yourself and feelings. If you can share, what was something specific?

You know, back then there was a lot of like, you know, it was a different business where there was a lot of you know, female comparisons and double standards with women. And it was a constant, like, pitting against each other. And, like, it just felt like just punches in the face. And it was just, you know, yeah, it's fucking hard.

You know, back then there was a lot of like, you know, it was a different business where there was a lot of you know, female comparisons and double standards with women. And it was a constant, like, pitting against each other. And, like, it just felt like just punches in the face. And it was just, you know, yeah, it's fucking hard.

It was hard to just constantly feel like, you know, you're making music and doing something you love. And then, you know, someone spinning something so negative about it. And it was just... it was really hard because sometimes who you were pitted again, you actually genuinely, you know, loved and, and like respected.

It was hard to just constantly feel like, you know, you're making music and doing something you love. And then, you know, someone spinning something so negative about it. And it was just... it was really hard because sometimes who you were pitted again, you actually genuinely, you know, loved and, and like respected.

So it was just like, you know, but again, then you have people like baiting you and, and, and, and do you know what she said about you? Well, you know what I mean? And then you're like, wait, what? You know? So it's just like, and you're too much of a kid to understand like what's happening. Um,

So it was just like, you know, but again, then you have people like baiting you and, and, and, and do you know what she said about you? Well, you know what I mean? And then you're like, wait, what? You know? So it's just like, and you're too much of a kid to understand like what's happening. Um,

I hated that shit, you know, like that's why also like now I'm just so excited to see, you know, more, you know, exposed women supporting women because now you're cutting through the middleman a lot more, which is really, really nice.

I hated that shit, you know, like that's why also like now I'm just so excited to see, you know, more, you know, exposed women supporting women because now you're cutting through the middleman a lot more, which is really, really nice.

comparing me with another artist and was like, it's like Roe versus Wade, pick a side, you know? And I was like, oh my God, you're so dramatic. You're like, it's not that serious. And I was too young to even really understand what that meant. So I was like, you could just understand the level of like how young I was being thrust into this world that was like, wait, what are you saying?

comparing me with another artist and was like, it's like Roe versus Wade, pick a side, you know? And I was like, oh my God, you're so dramatic. You're like, it's not that serious. And I was too young to even really understand what that meant. So I was like, you could just understand the level of like how young I was being thrust into this world that was like, wait, what are you saying?

What are you saying?

What are you saying?

I know, I know. It was like a newspaper. It wasn't even like a, yeah, it was too much. It was too much.

I know, I know. It was like a newspaper. It wasn't even like a, yeah, it was too much. It was too much.

Girl.

Girl.

What is my biggest insecurity? Oh, my God. I really wasn't prepared for that question. I don't know. I could think of, I mean, every, I don't know, every day it's something different. It's a part of you. Like, what is my biggest insecurity? Yeah.

What is my biggest insecurity? Oh, my God. I really wasn't prepared for that question. I don't know. I could think of, I mean, every, I don't know, every day it's something different. It's a part of you. Like, what is my biggest insecurity? Yeah.

Oh, 100%.

Oh, 100%.

biggest insecurity um i think we all have this where we just don't feel good enough i don't know in every in every sense you know i think we can all pick different parts of ourselves and pick ourselves apart for forever but i really it's it's a it's something you have to train yourself against when you say you're not good enough

biggest insecurity um i think we all have this where we just don't feel good enough i don't know in every in every sense you know i think we can all pick different parts of ourselves and pick ourselves apart for forever but i really it's it's a it's something you have to train yourself against when you say you're not good enough

She's coming back.

She's coming back.

Everything like, you know, I mean, I think this business operates like a business, you know, and it's a whole self-worth thing. And then image. Yeah, I've been through the gamut of, you know, people growing up in this business. They're going to see you as a teenager, a kid. They're going to see you as a young woman coming into your body and expressing yourself.

Everything like, you know, I mean, I think this business operates like a business, you know, and it's a whole self-worth thing. And then image. Yeah, I've been through the gamut of, you know, people growing up in this business. They're going to see you as a teenager, a kid. They're going to see you as a young woman coming into your body and expressing yourself.

They're going to see you as a grown woman. They're going to see you be pregnant. They're going to see you. go through the gamut of different places and stages of your life where you're different kind of weights. And, you know, we all go through these things as women in general. But yeah, it's so hard to just be inundated with different opinions.

They're going to see you as a grown woman. They're going to see you be pregnant. They're going to see you. go through the gamut of different places and stages of your life where you're different kind of weights. And, you know, we all go through these things as women in general. But yeah, it's so hard to just be inundated with different opinions.

And everybody has different standards for what they want. But again, women like embracing this now more than ever.

And everybody has different standards for what they want. But again, women like embracing this now more than ever.

It's almost like... Yeah, it's never. Right? Never. Mm-mm. Yeah. Because everyone has a definition of what good enough means. And then the same people that are rating good enough don't feel good about themselves. And so like where is this all like stemming? So it's cyclical and you have to really isolate your perspective.

It's almost like... Yeah, it's never. Right? Never. Mm-mm. Yeah. Because everyone has a definition of what good enough means. And then the same people that are rating good enough don't feel good about themselves. And so like where is this all like stemming? So it's cyclical and you have to really isolate your perspective.

Because even whenever, you know, someone's comparing you to someone else, you're like, well, wait, should I be comparing? Like you start just second guessing yourself. And so, yeah, it's tough out there.

Because even whenever, you know, someone's comparing you to someone else, you're like, well, wait, should I be comparing? Like you start just second guessing yourself. And so, yeah, it's tough out there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

getting off I mean like but it's not that cut and dry my favorite part I love intimacy some it depends every person is different and that's what I love about sexuality I love getting into it and finding out how everyone operates you know how much of a freak are you how much of a you know submissive are you like what is your what is your playground how much of a

getting off I mean like but it's not that cut and dry my favorite part I love intimacy some it depends every person is different and that's what I love about sexuality I love getting into it and finding out how everyone operates you know how much of a freak are you how much of a you know submissive are you like what is your what is your playground how much of a

people that you know got it then but there was a lot of pushback there was a lot of you know um double standards with it and there was a lot of you know because i went on tour with you know justin we did the strip justified tour and there were things where i was just like why is it okay for him and not okay for me you know what i mean so it's just like i was constantly pushing back and and my way i mean it was so inappropriate sometimes the things that were were asked about that era and

people that you know got it then but there was a lot of pushback there was a lot of you know um double standards with it and there was a lot of you know because i went on tour with you know justin we did the strip justified tour and there were things where i was just like why is it okay for him and not okay for me you know what i mean so it's just like i was constantly pushing back and and my way i mean it was so inappropriate sometimes the things that were were asked about that era and

but nobody you know nobody is nobody knows what they're doing at first that's why it should feel like exploration and it's okay but you're so insecure at that age and you you see these movies and all that you just want to have it all figured out right off the bat or or you're too you know young to speak up for yourself and you know it kills me too whenever you're grown and you feel too insecure to speak up for yourself

but nobody you know nobody is nobody knows what they're doing at first that's why it should feel like exploration and it's okay but you're so insecure at that age and you you see these movies and all that you just want to have it all figured out right off the bat or or you're too you know young to speak up for yourself and you know it kills me too whenever you're grown and you feel too insecure to speak up for yourself

when you're not in a relationship that feels safe enough for you to have these conversations or even to compare notes with other women, you know, because it's so shameful. But sex is fun. And knowing your body is so important, you know, and you're only going to know your body when you spend time with yourself first so that you even know what to ask from your partner or what you like.

when you're not in a relationship that feels safe enough for you to have these conversations or even to compare notes with other women, you know, because it's so shameful. But sex is fun. And knowing your body is so important, you know, and you're only going to know your body when you spend time with yourself first so that you even know what to ask from your partner or what you like.

I do. I mean, like, you know, as you mentioned, the vibrator was a game changer whenever I was, you know, first exploring myself and, you know, first sex store I ever went into. And, you know, I was just like, oh, my God, I literally remember even having like this little like pocket size one I could like pack in my bag on an airplane like that. I was horny. Like, you know what I mean?

I do. I mean, like, you know, as you mentioned, the vibrator was a game changer whenever I was, you know, first exploring myself and, you know, first sex store I ever went into. And, you know, I was just like, oh, my God, I literally remember even having like this little like pocket size one I could like pack in my bag on an airplane like that. I was horny. Like, you know what I mean?

Like, are you getting off on an airplane? I know she's getting excited just talking about it, but that's how it should be. Yes, of course. Are you kidding me? Like sometimes, sometimes it's an anxiety thing too. Like a lot of girls, like when I'm nervous, like I would feel it very early on. Like when I was like in school, like even as a girl, like I felt nervous about something.

Like, are you getting off on an airplane? I know she's getting excited just talking about it, but that's how it should be. Yes, of course. Are you kidding me? Like sometimes, sometimes it's an anxiety thing too. Like a lot of girls, like when I'm nervous, like I would feel it very early on. Like when I was like in school, like even as a girl, like I felt nervous about something.

I would be like, oh, oh.

I would be like, oh, oh.

Oh, my God. When was? Oh, well, I think we all kind of like start as little girls. Like when you rub up against things and it feels good. And, you know, like, you know, I think that's also whenever it's just like you have to be like, it's OK. Like that's for, you know, have your private time. So you're not doing it in front of like company. Yeah. You just you have to learn these things.

Oh, my God. When was? Oh, well, I think we all kind of like start as little girls. Like when you rub up against things and it feels good. And, you know, like, you know, I think that's also whenever it's just like you have to be like, it's OK. Like that's for, you know, have your private time. So you're not doing it in front of like company. Yeah. You just you have to learn these things.

And sometimes we don't have good teachers and that make us feel safe. So. That came early on. So it was like, you know, some people I think have more sensitive areas and I just, I've always been engaged with understanding there's things happening down there.

And sometimes we don't have good teachers and that make us feel safe. So. That came early on. So it was like, you know, some people I think have more sensitive areas and I just, I've always been engaged with understanding there's things happening down there.

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Yeah.

I mean, hands down, I mean, it's got to be blowjobs. I mean, I love a blowjob, you know? And I, you know, I enjoy it. Like, I had a lot of also, like, male friends who I was always like, and what do you do here? Like, I was literally – I grew up around them, so it's like – I know every different part and the sensitive areas. And I like, I literally, I do enjoy it. I hear some women don't like it.

I mean, hands down, I mean, it's got to be blowjobs. I mean, I love a blowjob, you know? And I, you know, I enjoy it. Like, I had a lot of also, like, male friends who I was always like, and what do you do here? Like, I was literally – I grew up around them, so it's like – I know every different part and the sensitive areas. And I like, I literally, I do enjoy it. I hear some women don't like it.

But I don't know, man. It's a turn on, you know?

But I don't know, man. It's a turn on, you know?

Well, again, sexuality is a very specific thing. So what one guy might like, another one doesn't. There are some guys that don't like their balls being touched or tampered with. There are some guys that like brutal things happening to them. And, you know, yeah, there's a lot of different levels, you know, that's why it's important to like be with a partner where you can really just explore.

Well, again, sexuality is a very specific thing. So what one guy might like, another one doesn't. There are some guys that don't like their balls being touched or tampered with. There are some guys that like brutal things happening to them. And, you know, yeah, there's a lot of different levels, you know, that's why it's important to like be with a partner where you can really just explore.

And there's still a lot more things that I have not explored yet that are on my to-do list. You know, I think, you know, it's hard when you also have kids. You're trying to keep a PG. Sometimes it's been like, oh, okay, and you're here. Okay, amazing. So it's a lot of things, but it's something you have to make time for. But, yeah, I love that.

And there's still a lot more things that I have not explored yet that are on my to-do list. You know, I think, you know, it's hard when you also have kids. You're trying to keep a PG. Sometimes it's been like, oh, okay, and you're here. Okay, amazing. So it's a lot of things, but it's something you have to make time for. But, yeah, I love that.

And I also, like, I mean, I think there's something to be said after you put in the hard work. I think swallowing is really, you know, a good thing, and it's got a lot of protein, I have to say. I'm a promoter of the swallow. OK, I like I didn't put in that hard work for nothing. You know, we went in there.

And I also, like, I mean, I think there's something to be said after you put in the hard work. I think swallowing is really, you know, a good thing, and it's got a lot of protein, I have to say. I'm a promoter of the swallow. OK, I like I didn't put in that hard work for nothing. You know, we went in there.

I got tugged and pulled and like, you know, there's things happening, you know, maybe gagged. I don't know. You know, I mean, hey, whatever your pleasure points are, but it should be fun, you know, as long as you feel good and safe with your partner.

I got tugged and pulled and like, you know, there's things happening, you know, maybe gagged. I don't know. You know, I mean, hey, whatever your pleasure points are, but it should be fun, you know, as long as you feel good and safe with your partner.

I think, oh, you're fun. I don't think, you know, like you're actually safe to talk to. It's not creepy.

I think, oh, you're fun. I don't think, you know, like you're actually safe to talk to. It's not creepy.

You're like, I don't have sex anymore. Definitely a new dawn, new day. Be like safe about it. It depends on the mood. Definitely. I mean, I love a lot of positions. Sometimes it's nice like early in the morning, like from your side, from behind. Side. And it's like there's like holding involved and like, you know, spooning involved. I like I love to cuddle. I love to feel like safe and protected.

You're like, I don't have sex anymore. Definitely a new dawn, new day. Be like safe about it. It depends on the mood. Definitely. I mean, I love a lot of positions. Sometimes it's nice like early in the morning, like from your side, from behind. Side. And it's like there's like holding involved and like, you know, spooning involved. I like I love to cuddle. I love to feel like safe and protected.

But then it's like I get too hot and then I'm like, OK, leave me alone. I just wanted to feel it for a second. I'm good.

But then it's like I get too hot and then I'm like, OK, leave me alone. I just wanted to feel it for a second. I'm good.

You get your vibrator in there and your ass starts being like, oh, oh, and you're pulling. I mean, I like it. The chairs might be on me. Yeah.

You get your vibrator in there and your ass starts being like, oh, oh, and you're pulling. I mean, I like it. The chairs might be on me. Yeah.

uh-huh because then halfway through you're like doing it from the side and then you like kind of flip on your stomach and then it's from behind the whole thing is nice it's so good i mean you know you don't know where it's gonna go sky's the limit but um there's that yeah like some good like doggies sometimes like in the shower there's you know i've been you know there's been some good times you know like there's like the studio soundboard been

uh-huh because then halfway through you're like doing it from the side and then you like kind of flip on your stomach and then it's from behind the whole thing is nice it's so good i mean you know you don't know where it's gonna go sky's the limit but um there's that yeah like some good like doggies sometimes like in the shower there's you know i've been you know there's been some good times you know like there's like the studio soundboard been

You know, been bent over there a couple times. It's fun, you know? Use your imagination, you know?

You know, been bent over there a couple times. It's fun, you know? Use your imagination, you know?

Playing can be fun. We've definitely hid some things under the blankets when the seats are big enough to, like, you know, we've been, you know, I can't believe we didn't get caught, like, so many times in so many situations. Like, thank the Lord, but...

Playing can be fun. We've definitely hid some things under the blankets when the seats are big enough to, like, you know, we've been, you know, I can't believe we didn't get caught, like, so many times in so many situations. Like, thank the Lord, but...

No, I'm not, actually. On international flights, you know, they turn the light off. Like, the chairs are, like, I don't know where you're sitting, but, you know, there's always, like, room for, like, get creative. And, you know, blankets. It's like the position we just talked about, the little spoon. It's like, oh, I feel safe with my partner here. Like, we're just sleeping together. Yeah.

No, I'm not, actually. On international flights, you know, they turn the light off. Like, the chairs are, like, I don't know where you're sitting, but, you know, there's always, like, room for, like, get creative. And, you know, blankets. It's like the position we just talked about, the little spoon. It's like, oh, I feel safe with my partner here. Like, we're just sleeping together. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No. You got to wait till everyone's like going to sleep. You know what I mean. So yeah. You got to you know setting the mood.

Yeah. Yeah. No. You got to wait till everyone's like going to sleep. You know what I mean. So yeah. You got to you know setting the mood.

not we're just enjoying ourselves and doing what we should be doing which is celebrating our bodies and doing the same thing that men have done forever it's true it's really really true i think because of generations of like not knowing how to talk about it being shamed for it um it being like you know something that's very you know celebrated from a male's point of view and objectified that we don't know where we stand with it but now more than ever i feel like this generation is like having none of it and we want to talk about it we want to engage

not we're just enjoying ourselves and doing what we should be doing which is celebrating our bodies and doing the same thing that men have done forever it's true it's really really true i think because of generations of like not knowing how to talk about it being shamed for it um it being like you know something that's very you know celebrated from a male's point of view and objectified that we don't know where we stand with it but now more than ever i feel like this generation is like having none of it and we want to talk about it we want to engage

We want to be educated about it. We want to know what's good for it. And we should. Now's the time for that. And making sure, you know, that's why. It's like music and lyrics. You know, I had a song called Sex for Breakfast on my, you know, one of my albums. We've never been shy about things. But this is literally, you know, just the next progression for me.

We want to be educated about it. We want to know what's good for it. And we should. Now's the time for that. And making sure, you know, that's why. It's like music and lyrics. You know, I had a song called Sex for Breakfast on my, you know, one of my albums. We've never been shy about things. But this is literally, you know, just the next progression for me.

And in passing something down to my daughter that she can enjoy and understand. Like this is nothing to be ashamed of. This is healthy information. natural, put good things on it, you know, vitamins for there.

And in passing something down to my daughter that she can enjoy and understand. Like this is nothing to be ashamed of. This is healthy information. natural, put good things on it, you know, vitamins for there.

Well, I think the authenticity behind what it means to me being always in the forefront, either defending, you know, or celebrating or opening conversations and doors for women to be able to feel safe enough to talk about their sexuality and what that means for them, because

Well, I think the authenticity behind what it means to me being always in the forefront, either defending, you know, or celebrating or opening conversations and doors for women to be able to feel safe enough to talk about their sexuality and what that means for them, because

again everybody is so different and there's no shame in the game i just want to really just um now at this point in my life being a mother who has a daughter who's developing her own relationship with her body and asking me you know when she sees you know that time of the month for me like what's it what's a tampon what does it do you know how am i going to approach these conversations and and in making her make sure that she uh feels

again everybody is so different and there's no shame in the game i just want to really just um now at this point in my life being a mother who has a daughter who's developing her own relationship with her body and asking me you know when she sees you know that time of the month for me like what's it what's a tampon what does it do you know how am i going to approach these conversations and and in making her make sure that she uh feels

I was at that time raised by my mom and my grandma. So strong women. And my grandma specifically really was so proud and, you know, really... pushed it to be like taken seriously as something to be professional because singing always just came to me as like this this release.

I was at that time raised by my mom and my grandma. So strong women. And my grandma specifically really was so proud and, you know, really... pushed it to be like taken seriously as something to be professional because singing always just came to me as like this this release.

she's taking care of herself so that she can also engage with a future healthy relationship. That's sex positive.

she's taking care of herself so that she can also engage with a future healthy relationship. That's sex positive.

Um, sex is very important. I love the product playground. It's all safe. It's all natural. And it just, you know, you know, feels good. You know, we've explored with this, um, you know, safe for you. And, um, and it's so pretty. It fits in like the palm. I love it. You can put it on your nightstand. It's like you're

Um, sex is very important. I love the product playground. It's all safe. It's all natural. And it just, you know, you know, feels good. You know, we've explored with this, um, you know, safe for you. And, um, and it's so pretty. It fits in like the palm. I love it. You can put it on your nightstand. It's like you're

point blank point blank sex is 10 times better with lube that's a thousand percent and it's like we wouldn't think of like doing things to our face like we moisturize there's women that do we do 10 step beauty routines and things we wouldn't think of like going through a drugstore and not hitting that section not doing something moisturizing for our hair like this is the epicenter of power like we need to be nurturing and taking care of and celebrating this very important part it literally

point blank point blank sex is 10 times better with lube that's a thousand percent and it's like we wouldn't think of like doing things to our face like we moisturize there's women that do we do 10 step beauty routines and things we wouldn't think of like going through a drugstore and not hitting that section not doing something moisturizing for our hair like this is the epicenter of power like we need to be nurturing and taking care of and celebrating this very important part it literally

Yeah, it's the star of the show. So we literally need to be giving, you know, nurture, tender, loving care to it. And also it should be explored. And what better to help do this? But then, you know, sometimes it's a little... Get a little something, something down there. Feels good, yeah.

Yeah, it's the star of the show. So we literally need to be giving, you know, nurture, tender, loving care to it. And also it should be explored. And what better to help do this? But then, you know, sometimes it's a little... Get a little something, something down there. Feels good, yeah.

negativity that was you know just always trying to be um you know poked you know and I'm I'm also you know you know I

negativity that was you know just always trying to be um you know poked you know and I'm I'm also you know you know I

I have no time for like negativity and it's like I've been in the business long enough to know like you know I just want none of it anymore to be a part of like the headline and it's like something that you know as a grown woman you can have more control over but you know I don't like getting poked under the table because

I have no time for like negativity and it's like I've been in the business long enough to know like you know I just want none of it anymore to be a part of like the headline and it's like something that you know as a grown woman you can have more control over but you know I don't like getting poked under the table because

you know, we're in an elevated time in our, in all of our lives where we are more open and talk, talking to each other. And I'm just, I want peaceful energy, peaceful vibes. Like I don't need to be talking about things that happened, you know, decades ago, like let's grow up, let's embrace like now more than ever is the time for that. And so I think, um,

you know, we're in an elevated time in our, in all of our lives where we are more open and talk, talking to each other. And I'm just, I want peaceful energy, peaceful vibes. Like I don't need to be talking about things that happened, you know, decades ago, like let's grow up, let's embrace like now more than ever is the time for that. And so I think, um,

I grew up in a chaotic, you know, upbringing as a very young child and always kind of like feeling like a protector and all that and always

I grew up in a chaotic, you know, upbringing as a very young child and always kind of like feeling like a protector and all that and always

Yeah, just, you know, don't poke the bear anymore. Like don't poke, don't poke, don't poke me under the table because I'm still not going to be, you know, I'm still not going to be, I'm not going to be baited anymore. You know, like a long time, you know, it happened for a long time too. And this happened even, you know, after I had my babies. It's like a lot of people don't,

Yeah, just, you know, don't poke the bear anymore. Like don't poke, don't poke, don't poke me under the table because I'm still not going to be, you know, I'm still not going to be, I'm not going to be baited anymore. You know, like a long time, you know, it happened for a long time too. And this happened even, you know, after I had my babies. It's like a lot of people don't,

Because they're, you know, they need some attention too. They're like, I'll get poked under the table and be like, it's one of those passive, what do you call those people that are just passive aggressive? They'll poke under the table when no one's looking and then be like, I don't know why she's so, I don't know, she's crazy. You know what I mean? And you're like, just leave me alone.

Because they're, you know, they need some attention too. They're like, I'll get poked under the table and be like, it's one of those passive, what do you call those people that are just passive aggressive? They'll poke under the table when no one's looking and then be like, I don't know why she's so, I don't know, she's crazy. You know what I mean? And you're like, just leave me alone.

Manipulative, like, because like, yeah, don't poke me too much. Like, let's not get it twisted though. I'm sensitive and all that, but I'm a tough cookie. At the end of the day, I truly don't give a fuck.

Manipulative, like, because like, yeah, don't poke me too much. Like, let's not get it twisted though. I'm sensitive and all that, but I'm a tough cookie. At the end of the day, I truly don't give a fuck.

you know what i mean like i just really don't and i you know this is why like i just don't have time for the petty or you know just you know sometimes you know the celebrity status stuff it's just like i just i want to live a real life and a loving life you know right i just i want good things around my energy space is so important to preserve that and and for my children you know

you know what i mean like i just really don't and i you know this is why like i just don't have time for the petty or you know just you know sometimes you know the celebrity status stuff it's just like i just i want to live a real life and a loving life you know right i just i want good things around my energy space is so important to preserve that and and for my children you know

Yeah.

Yeah.

Decades. Decades.

Decades. Decades.

Grown women shit now. Truly. Truly. Kids involved. Examples.

Grown women shit now. Truly. Truly. Kids involved. Examples.

felt isolated sort of in my position in my situation and so singing it was a sound of music that first inspired me to sing and from then I just you know it was like just a release and a form of expression for me before I even understood what that meant and then whenever my parents got divorced moved in with my grandma my grandma was like you know this could this could be something and

felt isolated sort of in my position in my situation and so singing it was a sound of music that first inspired me to sing and from then I just you know it was like just a release and a form of expression for me before I even understood what that meant and then whenever my parents got divorced moved in with my grandma my grandma was like you know this could this could be something and

do you remember like the first moment you realized like this is unsafe or something was wrong fear you know you have to listen to your body and um you know fear is is something that uh you know you innately feel you know uh so right then and there you know something doesn't feel good and it's not right um and then you know having so much

do you remember like the first moment you realized like this is unsafe or something was wrong fear you know you have to listen to your body and um you know fear is is something that uh you know you innately feel you know uh so right then and there you know something doesn't feel good and it's not right um and then you know having so much

compassion for my mother and seeing, you know, when you see someone, um, being hurt, someone you love. Whew. Yeah. That, uh, you know, I still, you know, at 42, I'm still affected by this. It's, it's under the surface. Trauma never leaves you. You just figure out ways to try and heal it. And, and to me there, it's therapeutic to speak about it.

compassion for my mother and seeing, you know, when you see someone, um, being hurt, someone you love. Whew. Yeah. That, uh, you know, I still, you know, at 42, I'm still affected by this. It's, it's under the surface. Trauma never leaves you. You just figure out ways to try and heal it. And, and to me there, it's therapeutic to speak about it.

And I saw my mom, you know, go through so much that I think that instilled a level of,

And I saw my mom, you know, go through so much that I think that instilled a level of,

purpose for me in the sense of i i always want to try and empower uh other people and people in situations where they feel voiceless and unheard and i just have such a deep-rooted need to try and you know use my voice and i would later discover and understand what that meant to me but it never leaves you and and your trigger when you see movies when i when i you know i just immediately you go to that place

purpose for me in the sense of i i always want to try and empower uh other people and people in situations where they feel voiceless and unheard and i just have such a deep-rooted need to try and you know use my voice and i would later discover and understand what that meant to me but it never leaves you and and your trigger when you see movies when i when i you know i just immediately you go to that place

It's amazing.

It's amazing.

you know, and I've done a lot of healing and a lot of growth and releasing, you know, a lot of anger comes with that. A lot of shame comes with that. But, you know, it takes a lot for a woman to leave those situations as well. And my heart goes out because some of them don't leave them. And, you know, and that could vary in a lot of ways. You know, sometimes it's financial, sometimes it's

you know, and I've done a lot of healing and a lot of growth and releasing, you know, a lot of anger comes with that. A lot of shame comes with that. But, you know, it takes a lot for a woman to leave those situations as well. And my heart goes out because some of them don't leave them. And, you know, and that could vary in a lot of ways. You know, sometimes it's financial, sometimes it's

fear of authorities not helping and then it getting worse or you know sometimes they're you know sometimes it feels like there's no way out but you you know my mom luckily you know she really we would do these drives from at the time it was the last straw from Jersey to my grandma's in Pittsburgh and we would just do these nightly just me her and my little sister and we would just like do the night drive but

fear of authorities not helping and then it getting worse or you know sometimes they're you know sometimes it feels like there's no way out but you you know my mom luckily you know she really we would do these drives from at the time it was the last straw from Jersey to my grandma's in Pittsburgh and we would just do these nightly just me her and my little sister and we would just like do the night drive but

you know, all of that, it stays with you, but it's become a part of what's important to me is my message.

you know, all of that, it stays with you, but it's become a part of what's important to me is my message.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

There There's some back and forth. There was some back and forth. There's always the tug of like, I'm never going to do it again. There's sweet talking involved. There's a lot of shame also in like, well, why don't you just leave? It is so much more complicated than that. And it's a mental breakdown of self-esteem. And you start to believe that

There There's some back and forth. There was some back and forth. There's always the tug of like, I'm never going to do it again. There's sweet talking involved. There's a lot of shame also in like, well, why don't you just leave? It is so much more complicated than that. And it's a mental breakdown of self-esteem. And you start to believe that

someone else's narrative and verbal abuse to you and it self-esteem is something that can break down so easily even to the most powerful woman executive um it doesn't matter what you do this you know we can go on stage and have these larger than life personas but all it takes is for you to believe someone's negative narrative about you.

someone else's narrative and verbal abuse to you and it self-esteem is something that can break down so easily even to the most powerful woman executive um it doesn't matter what you do this you know we can go on stage and have these larger than life personas but all it takes is for you to believe someone's negative narrative about you.

Once it's in there and it's working its way in, that's why I'm so adamant with my daughter. I'm just like, first time somebody ever hits you, the first time somebody makes you feel not right about yourself,

Once it's in there and it's working its way in, that's why I'm so adamant with my daughter. I'm just like, first time somebody ever hits you, the first time somebody makes you feel not right about yourself,

Yes. Officially, when the abuse started to really turn onto me, you know, we were living in Japan for like three years. So we were super isolated, which is where I started singing. And looking back, that's where I started to kind of like sing out of this window. I have like a thing about like windows and like they just when you're feeling just, you

Yes. Officially, when the abuse started to really turn onto me, you know, we were living in Japan for like three years. So we were super isolated, which is where I started singing. And looking back, that's where I started to kind of like sing out of this window. I have like a thing about like windows and like they just when you're feeling just, you

I don't know there's something about the representation of a window and just like there's hope on the other side you know and so that's where I started you know singing these songs from like the sound of music and just to myself and just that image I'll always remember it's like a core memory of just like there's like something on the other side there's like a bigger world there's a bigger purpose I felt it as at a really young age but yes it was like a matter of things and like you're in a foreign country where my dad was in the army so we're on an army base I mean

I don't know there's something about the representation of a window and just like there's hope on the other side you know and so that's where I started you know singing these songs from like the sound of music and just to myself and just that image I'll always remember it's like a core memory of just like there's like something on the other side there's like a bigger world there's a bigger purpose I felt it as at a really young age but yes it was like a matter of things and like you're in a foreign country where my dad was in the army so we're on an army base I mean

In a situation like that too, abuse runs rampant. You know, the walls are paper thin, you know, where we're living and you can hear abuse just happening on the other side of the wall. You can hear, I mean, you know, it's terrifying and it's like all you want to do is help, but a lot of times, even when you call the authorities, you don't get the help that you need.

In a situation like that too, abuse runs rampant. You know, the walls are paper thin, you know, where we're living and you can hear abuse just happening on the other side of the wall. You can hear, I mean, you know, it's terrifying and it's like all you want to do is help, but a lot of times, even when you call the authorities, you don't get the help that you need.

And then the door shuts and you're with your abuser again. So it's so important to try and research all you can, speak to people that you can trust and really, you know, try and get yourself out of these situations. Because, you know, worst case scenario, you won't, you know, live to tell the story about it.

And then the door shuts and you're with your abuser again. So it's so important to try and research all you can, speak to people that you can trust and really, you know, try and get yourself out of these situations. Because, you know, worst case scenario, you won't, you know, live to tell the story about it.

Yes, still am. But you know what? In this role too, it comes with responsibility and responsibility that I know is destined for me and I take on and I take it on well. When you're in those situations, you grow up really fast and you become like an immediate caretaker and protector of the person that's being hurt. And so, yeah, this is just like kind of like my role. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, still am. But you know what? In this role too, it comes with responsibility and responsibility that I know is destined for me and I take on and I take it on well. When you're in those situations, you grow up really fast and you become like an immediate caretaker and protector of the person that's being hurt. And so, yeah, this is just like kind of like my role. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All my dogs are rescues. Like, you know, I'm just that person. Your mother, your mother.

All my dogs are rescues. Like, you know, I'm just that person. Your mother, your mother.

It's a work ethic. It teaches you work ethic. You're given a schedule, where you are in a call sheet. It's very disciplined and you either built for that or you're not. It's something that you realize very quickly if you're cut out for that kind of lifestyle. It's hectic. It's chaotic. It's go, go, go. It's on the run and that only builds the more you create and

It's a work ethic. It teaches you work ethic. You're given a schedule, where you are in a call sheet. It's very disciplined and you either built for that or you're not. It's something that you realize very quickly if you're cut out for that kind of lifestyle. It's hectic. It's chaotic. It's go, go, go. It's on the run and that only builds the more you create and

I have to say, and my mom would always say this too, you know, she wasn't like your typical, like I would be around these kids who were just like really forced to do this, you know, and my heart would break for them and my mom would be like, what is wrong with her? Like, you know, because you see these... Mothers and the kid doesn't even want to do it.

I have to say, and my mom would always say this too, you know, she wasn't like your typical, like I would be around these kids who were just like really forced to do this, you know, and my heart would break for them and my mom would be like, what is wrong with her? Like, you know, because you see these... Mothers and the kid doesn't even want to do it.

But it was just this is what I was born to do. So it was something that we really knew. And and I pushed, you know, for the performances to happen again. Like but just in the most, I think, organic way to start just like because I loved it.

But it was just this is what I was born to do. So it was something that we really knew. And and I pushed, you know, for the performances to happen again. Like but just in the most, I think, organic way to start just like because I loved it.

And for the first time, I was around a bunch of other kids who really loved it, too. Like it was just, you know, born performers.

And for the first time, I was around a bunch of other kids who really loved it, too. Like it was just, you know, born performers.

I said yes to you because I've seen you pop up on social media, which didn't exist when I was coming up in this business. And, you know, I've been doing this since I was like six or seven, basically. So but you feel safe.

I said yes to you because I've seen you pop up on social media, which didn't exist when I was coming up in this business. And, you know, I've been doing this since I was like six or seven, basically. So but you feel safe.

And it was really cool to feel that energy because, you know, coming up in school, In the town that I grew up, it wasn't really like, you know, it's a sports town, you know, and that kind of thing was very celebrated. But like arts and creativity and whatnot, you have that in Pittsburgh. But yeah, I just didn't have a lot of kids that truly...

And it was really cool to feel that energy because, you know, coming up in school, In the town that I grew up, it wasn't really like, you know, it's a sports town, you know, and that kind of thing was very celebrated. But like arts and creativity and whatnot, you have that in Pittsburgh. But yeah, I just didn't have a lot of kids that truly...

loved doing that, and those kids were just, how talented everyone was. Ryan Gosling, like, you know, Kerry Russell, there was just so many people that it was just like, wow, what a casting agent, you know, to get everybody together. Totally.

loved doing that, and those kids were just, how talented everyone was. Ryan Gosling, like, you know, Kerry Russell, there was just so many people that it was just like, wow, what a casting agent, you know, to get everybody together. Totally.

That's a good question. In really thinking about it. Probably no. You're like, I love my life. No, sometimes I would, you know, because I was working a lot. But I wanted to go. You know, I wanted to, you know, you know.

That's a good question. In really thinking about it. Probably no. You're like, I love my life. No, sometimes I would, you know, because I was working a lot. But I wanted to go. You know, I wanted to, you know, you know.

And I always I appreciate that, you know, because I've been through the gamut of a lot of interviews and people that, you know, I grew up at a time where it was like appropriate to be inappropriate and ask questions.

your childhood it could have been i haven't really dissected that that part but um i always dreamt really big you know i always jumped really big and uh and uh yeah it it could be looking for some sort of maybe escapism i mean i think half the people that are

in this business where we need uh you know it's it sucks because we're the most sensitive people on the planet yet we're looking for like you know but we have this like you know alter ego that we have to turn on to get the work done and to and to you know follow a schedule but also that makes us so vulnerable and in needing some kind of weird validation

I was still in New York. I was living, I was on my own pretty early too, trying to get a record deal. And so I was like, you know, house hopping from like odd places from my manager's house at the time to another manager. Like it was very odd and weird. And I would, again, mama bear, like never with my daughter. Like I would be so like protective and overseeing all that.

which is a whole other story but in new york yeah was where i started hearing it um on the radio for the first time so the album wasn't completely done and out and i would just remember hearing that and i was just like oh my god and it took me back to like driving around the car in pittsburgh and only hoping that i would like

christina aguilera welcome to color daddy hi i'm staring at your nails oh yeah what's happening they're so fun you know they're um you know it's open to interpretation is that a vagina it could be a vagina it could be lips but two in the same both pleasure points you know and then on the um and then there's an actual mouth on the um

kind of in sketchy situations where the world probably wouldn't even fucking fathom that Christina Aguilera wasn't like set up and all good but what were you emotionally going through at that time oh man that's a loaded question what was I emotionally going through at that time I mean looking back I probably I didn't have much time to even think about anything I was given the schedule I was told what to do you know told what to do um

My true opinion didn't really matter from everything. I remember being told what to wear, what the image was going to be, and not feeling super comfortable. That's also the product of a kid being raised in the business, too. Growing up and you're constantly being told by adults, and mainly men, how and what to be. And you're hearing conversations, too, of what they...

their ideal, you know, woman should be and look like. And so at a young impressionable age, like I just remember it was just so you take certain things on and then you have to like reprogram to think for yourself and what makes sense for you. So it's a lot, you know, to take on.

So your dreams are coming true, but you're not quite getting to be the person that you want to be and telling the stories you want to tell.

I didn't live through all that for nothing.

I mean, it's a lot. I mean, you could only imagine. It's difficult enough growing up and trying to figure it out away from the camera, but being, you know, in front of it and, you know, scrutinized and picked apart and judged and everybody's got a different opinion.

That's the one thing I learned really early on is like, whoa, no matter what I do, like somebody's going to be anti it and somebody's not going to be happy with it. And I was like...

and i'd always diaried and journaled and like i always had this thank god this core sense of myself and what i wanted my purposes and my messages to do and and to help and that's what i feel like kept me riding that core line of like bringing me back to real purpose and and to be authentic with what i did

Yeah. So many things popping through my mind. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. Like 10 answers that I could think of. But yes, I was actually surprised because like I was so in my zone of just like expressing and creating this album and and just truly trying to make every facet of it speak of myself as as a woman. And I didn't and I didn't want to fit a box of like

I'm sweet and vulnerable and demure and I'm gonna you know do the programmed you know pop format but I'm not any particular one thing or one brand and that's what I did not like about the business is the fact that they immediately try to box you and label it so that it's easier for them to understand

But it was hard, you know, being a kid and being like, oh, my God, I'm just trying to live my life. I'm 21. I'm having fun. Like these were my college years. You know, this was my moment, except everybody could see it. But I was happy. You know, I'm an artist at the end of the day. I you know how this is how I express myself, you know.

And I wasn't just coming with dirty, you know, then we came with beautiful and then we came with fighter, which was a representation kind of of, you know, my past and going against the grain of people that I felt really wronged me. Because that's another thing you, you know, people steal from you, people that are so close to you.

I remember being so devastated about people that I, that really disappointed me to my core that I was like, I feel really alone. You know, like it was, it really like, and then you want to retreat and then you want to get defense mechanisms up and then you don't trust anyone. Like as if I didn't already have trust issues, you know, from my childhood. I was about to say. Layers on layers on layers.

But, but in any case, you know, it's part of my journey. It's, it's what I was meant to go through. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way because it's, Had I not gone through all these things, I wouldn't sing the way I do. I wouldn't create the way I do. I wouldn't write the way I do. I was like a sponge. I just took it all in. And when I was ready to just be like, no more, I don't care.

And I remember being quoted saying, I don't care this next record if I sell one record or one million.

all the the cool like accolades and stuff that's amazing i'm grateful but at the end of the day i have to like sit with myself and feel like i'm contributing a bigger thing to the world than just a pop song and a chart and an award like it's deeper than that to me and that's what i always and that's what i set out to do with stripped and i was able to do it thank god you know after getting my foot in the door but i was gonna then play by my own rules and represent the kind of woman that i wanted to be

i mean it's got to be probably stripped and dirty and beautiful and fighter can't hold us down you know the it was the time when i was turning you know i was 20 21 i'd already gotten my foot in the door and my first album was successful but it was still very like played played by the rules and you know very given a you know set by you know label very very label driven and um

I wanted to always own it. You know, it was important to me. I didn't. I think also, you know, the older I got and the more and by that time, you know, for most people that would maybe be in your like 30s to have that mindset of like, I'm going to do things my way. You know, I mean, I'd grown up with so many opinions that I was just like, okay. I'm not going to play by your rules.

I'm not going to see myself as you see me. I'm going to own my sexuality for myself. Sexuality is a beautiful thing. And we need to take care of it as women. We need to really make sure that we prioritize it and ourselves and what it means to us because every woman is different. And I never wanted to also insert the fact that I was so comfortable with my sexuality and like, yeah.

Like we're going to dance it. We're going to, you know what I mean? Like all this stuff. I never wanted to also, you know, even though it did anyway, make some women like, you know, uh, uncomfortable with what I was doing, but I never wanted to make it like, you know, you have to be this way too. Like everyone has their different comfort zone with it.

And, and just because I want to express myself this way, like let, again, let people live, you know, like let everybody own it the way and they need to own it. Let's talk about it, you know? And, and back then, you know, that's what's cool about what you do, what you do, is we're able to have these open conversations now.

Now I see women more than ever talking to each other and it's like, okay, and so accessible with our phones and like social media, that's the positive of it and everything is that we get to like have more accessibility to each other.

And be like, is this happening to you too? Right.

But I didn't have that back then. So, yes, it was it was very hard and very terrifying. And I took so much personal. I really did. And then you have people in this situation. This is why you're my first podcast, because, you know, you're so used to creating these like certain walls and defense mechanisms because you're just like people are baiting you.

And then you're like, wait, I didn't say that. And I didn't say it like that. You know how it is.

Yeah.

I didn't really have time for that, but I did... I always went for things that I would feel safe about. Like, you know, we'd have our, you know, you'd travel and you'd meet certain people. But I was, it's so funny that I gave this persona because I probably was like the last person to lose my virginity. And like, you know, I just, I don't know. It was something that was for me.

You know what I mean? And that's, I guess, why my messages went the way they did too is because I owned it first.

maybe um but it doesn't matter how it goes down as long as you find your way and your path with being comfortable with yourself but um we always get like off topic when did you lose your virginity bring me back tell us it was later than you would think okay you know given the girl that was doing dirty and all this you know but yeah it's just it's more of a funny thing looking back where it's just like people thought probably like you were popping off

And so after that, I, you know, was like, you know, I have to do songs that mean something to me and are valid to who I am and and being fearless and talking about anything. And that includes sexuality. I felt that there was like a lot of shame and fear around the subject. And and especially, you know, as a woman, we're raised with a lot of stigma. There's a lot of you know, it's so layered.

But yeah, it was, I had, you know, I had certain dancers that were like close quarter because you have to like, you know, you're traveling a lot and you have accessibility to only so many things. So, you know, it is what it is. And then, you know, like... I mean, yeah. A lot of things that I'm just like, yeah, maybe I should have realized he wasn't looking at me. He wasn't interested in me.

He was looking at him. No! Christina! There's a lot of things that I'm just like, oh, sad. I feel bad for my younger self. Oh, sad.

Yeah, I definitely, I've had my experiences, but I also like... I mean, my life is hectic enough. And, like, this is a very narcissistic industry. And, like, my anxieties couldn't maybe take somebody that did the exact same thing I did and, like, ran around and traveled. It's like, I know how this goes. Like, I'm too, like, I'm too... too vulnerable for this. I'm too sensitive to be so paranoid.

So this business is very demanding. It's a lot. And yeah, I've definitely not been into the celebrity thing.

It's just annoying more than anything else. I don't want to be corny and be like... But it really is to me about intentions, you know? And if it doesn't feel right to me, like I just can't do it. I have a really hard time forcing myself. It wasn't interesting to me. I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. I've you know, I've had I just if it's not real to me and authentic, I can't do it. You know, I can't force something as personal as that.

Oh, yeah, 100%. I mean, I went through a bad period at a certain time where even, like, the clicking of the camera paparazzi, like, just was so, like, upsetting to me. I'd, like, have a panic attack. And I know I've heard other celebrities actually say this, too. And then you have really horrible stories that happen whenever you –

again starting to believe a narrative you know and then um yeah it's a very weird thing um uh that kind of attention and that that kind of um that world so yeah that that is a part of too why it's just like you know it's very anxiety riding for me you know um let's talk a little bit about relationships and then we're going to talk about sex

Yeah, you know, it's still a process sometimes to really, you have to check yourself too. I think there's accountability in, you know, things that even though they're not your fault, you're still conditioned and programmed in a way of fear and paranoia. And also sometimes not given a good guideline can really mess you up, you know, because sometimes then it's like, is this normal?

And it's tough to be a woman. So I wanted to really be who I was and make it a safe space for, you know, everyone to feel good and make it a conversation.

Or is this just like, or is this something I need to leave the relationship for? Like I'm so like into being like, okay, wait, do I need to be taking this shit right now? Or can I walk, or should I walk the fuck away? Like, you know what I mean? Like what's normal? What's like, so it's a constant. I, you know, I'm, I believe in therapy too. The right kind of therapy.

I think just, yeah, how hurt I was because I was so into this being like, one day I'm going to make it and I'm going to see myself on MTV and all this stuff. It was such a dream and coming from such a good place to all of a sudden you're shook by... all the shit that comes with the success. And yeah, I think it's sad when I see how

how some like press and articles and some interviews that were just so taken out of context or just mean like how hurt I was by that, truly like affected. And then, yeah, it just makes you internalize negative thoughts about yourself and feelings. If you can share, what was something specific?

You know, back then there was a lot of like, you know, it was a different business where there was a lot of you know, female comparisons and double standards with women. And it was a constant, like, pitting against each other. And, like, it just felt like just punches in the face. And it was just, you know, yeah, it's fucking hard.

It was hard to just constantly feel like, you know, you're making music and doing something you love. And then, you know, someone spinning something so negative about it. And it was just... it was really hard because sometimes who you were pitted again, you actually genuinely, you know, loved and, and like respected.

So it was just like, you know, but again, then you have people like baiting you and, and, and, and do you know what she said about you? Well, you know what I mean? And then you're like, wait, what? You know? So it's just like, and you're too much of a kid to understand like what's happening. Um,

I hated that shit, you know, like that's why also like now I'm just so excited to see, you know, more, you know, exposed women supporting women because now you're cutting through the middleman a lot more, which is really, really nice.

comparing me with another artist and was like, it's like Roe versus Wade, pick a side, you know? And I was like, oh my God, you're so dramatic. You're like, it's not that serious. And I was too young to even really understand what that meant. So I was like, you could just understand the level of like how young I was being thrust into this world that was like, wait, what are you saying?

What are you saying?

I know, I know. It was like a newspaper. It wasn't even like a, yeah, it was too much. It was too much.

Girl.

What is my biggest insecurity? Oh, my God. I really wasn't prepared for that question. I don't know. I could think of, I mean, every, I don't know, every day it's something different. It's a part of you. Like, what is my biggest insecurity? Yeah.

Oh, 100%.

biggest insecurity um i think we all have this where we just don't feel good enough i don't know in every in every sense you know i think we can all pick different parts of ourselves and pick ourselves apart for forever but i really it's it's a it's something you have to train yourself against when you say you're not good enough

She's coming back.

Everything like, you know, I mean, I think this business operates like a business, you know, and it's a whole self-worth thing. And then image. Yeah, I've been through the gamut of, you know, people growing up in this business. They're going to see you as a teenager, a kid. They're going to see you as a young woman coming into your body and expressing yourself.

They're going to see you as a grown woman. They're going to see you be pregnant. They're going to see you. go through the gamut of different places and stages of your life where you're different kind of weights. And, you know, we all go through these things as women in general. But yeah, it's so hard to just be inundated with different opinions.

And everybody has different standards for what they want. But again, women like embracing this now more than ever.

It's almost like... Yeah, it's never. Right? Never. Mm-mm. Yeah. Because everyone has a definition of what good enough means. And then the same people that are rating good enough don't feel good about themselves. And so like where is this all like stemming? So it's cyclical and you have to really isolate your perspective.

Because even whenever, you know, someone's comparing you to someone else, you're like, well, wait, should I be comparing? Like you start just second guessing yourself. And so, yeah, it's tough out there.

Yeah.

getting off I mean like but it's not that cut and dry my favorite part I love intimacy some it depends every person is different and that's what I love about sexuality I love getting into it and finding out how everyone operates you know how much of a freak are you how much of a you know submissive are you like what is your what is your playground how much of a

people that you know got it then but there was a lot of pushback there was a lot of you know um double standards with it and there was a lot of you know because i went on tour with you know justin we did the strip justified tour and there were things where i was just like why is it okay for him and not okay for me you know what i mean so it's just like i was constantly pushing back and and my way i mean it was so inappropriate sometimes the things that were were asked about that era and

but nobody you know nobody is nobody knows what they're doing at first that's why it should feel like exploration and it's okay but you're so insecure at that age and you you see these movies and all that you just want to have it all figured out right off the bat or or you're too you know young to speak up for yourself and you know it kills me too whenever you're grown and you feel too insecure to speak up for yourself

when you're not in a relationship that feels safe enough for you to have these conversations or even to compare notes with other women, you know, because it's so shameful. But sex is fun. And knowing your body is so important, you know, and you're only going to know your body when you spend time with yourself first so that you even know what to ask from your partner or what you like.

I do. I mean, like, you know, as you mentioned, the vibrator was a game changer whenever I was, you know, first exploring myself and, you know, first sex store I ever went into. And, you know, I was just like, oh, my God, I literally remember even having like this little like pocket size one I could like pack in my bag on an airplane like that. I was horny. Like, you know what I mean?

Like, are you getting off on an airplane? I know she's getting excited just talking about it, but that's how it should be. Yes, of course. Are you kidding me? Like sometimes, sometimes it's an anxiety thing too. Like a lot of girls, like when I'm nervous, like I would feel it very early on. Like when I was like in school, like even as a girl, like I felt nervous about something.

I would be like, oh, oh.

Oh, my God. When was? Oh, well, I think we all kind of like start as little girls. Like when you rub up against things and it feels good. And, you know, like, you know, I think that's also whenever it's just like you have to be like, it's OK. Like that's for, you know, have your private time. So you're not doing it in front of like company. Yeah. You just you have to learn these things.

And sometimes we don't have good teachers and that make us feel safe. So. That came early on. So it was like, you know, some people I think have more sensitive areas and I just, I've always been engaged with understanding there's things happening down there.

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Yeah.

I mean, hands down, I mean, it's got to be blowjobs. I mean, I love a blowjob, you know? And I, you know, I enjoy it. Like, I had a lot of also, like, male friends who I was always like, and what do you do here? Like, I was literally – I grew up around them, so it's like – I know every different part and the sensitive areas. And I like, I literally, I do enjoy it. I hear some women don't like it.

But I don't know, man. It's a turn on, you know?

Well, again, sexuality is a very specific thing. So what one guy might like, another one doesn't. There are some guys that don't like their balls being touched or tampered with. There are some guys that like brutal things happening to them. And, you know, yeah, there's a lot of different levels, you know, that's why it's important to like be with a partner where you can really just explore.

And there's still a lot more things that I have not explored yet that are on my to-do list. You know, I think, you know, it's hard when you also have kids. You're trying to keep a PG. Sometimes it's been like, oh, okay, and you're here. Okay, amazing. So it's a lot of things, but it's something you have to make time for. But, yeah, I love that.

And I also, like, I mean, I think there's something to be said after you put in the hard work. I think swallowing is really, you know, a good thing, and it's got a lot of protein, I have to say. I'm a promoter of the swallow. OK, I like I didn't put in that hard work for nothing. You know, we went in there.

I got tugged and pulled and like, you know, there's things happening, you know, maybe gagged. I don't know. You know, I mean, hey, whatever your pleasure points are, but it should be fun, you know, as long as you feel good and safe with your partner.

I think, oh, you're fun. I don't think, you know, like you're actually safe to talk to. It's not creepy.

You're like, I don't have sex anymore. Definitely a new dawn, new day. Be like safe about it. It depends on the mood. Definitely. I mean, I love a lot of positions. Sometimes it's nice like early in the morning, like from your side, from behind. Side. And it's like there's like holding involved and like, you know, spooning involved. I like I love to cuddle. I love to feel like safe and protected.

But then it's like I get too hot and then I'm like, OK, leave me alone. I just wanted to feel it for a second. I'm good.

You get your vibrator in there and your ass starts being like, oh, oh, and you're pulling. I mean, I like it. The chairs might be on me. Yeah.

uh-huh because then halfway through you're like doing it from the side and then you like kind of flip on your stomach and then it's from behind the whole thing is nice it's so good i mean you know you don't know where it's gonna go sky's the limit but um there's that yeah like some good like doggies sometimes like in the shower there's you know i've been you know there's been some good times you know like there's like the studio soundboard been

You know, been bent over there a couple times. It's fun, you know? Use your imagination, you know?

Playing can be fun. We've definitely hid some things under the blankets when the seats are big enough to, like, you know, we've been, you know, I can't believe we didn't get caught, like, so many times in so many situations. Like, thank the Lord, but...

No, I'm not, actually. On international flights, you know, they turn the light off. Like, the chairs are, like, I don't know where you're sitting, but, you know, there's always, like, room for, like, get creative. And, you know, blankets. It's like the position we just talked about, the little spoon. It's like, oh, I feel safe with my partner here. Like, we're just sleeping together. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No. You got to wait till everyone's like going to sleep. You know what I mean. So yeah. You got to you know setting the mood.

not we're just enjoying ourselves and doing what we should be doing which is celebrating our bodies and doing the same thing that men have done forever it's true it's really really true i think because of generations of like not knowing how to talk about it being shamed for it um it being like you know something that's very you know celebrated from a male's point of view and objectified that we don't know where we stand with it but now more than ever i feel like this generation is like having none of it and we want to talk about it we want to engage

We want to be educated about it. We want to know what's good for it. And we should. Now's the time for that. And making sure, you know, that's why. It's like music and lyrics. You know, I had a song called Sex for Breakfast on my, you know, one of my albums. We've never been shy about things. But this is literally, you know, just the next progression for me.

And in passing something down to my daughter that she can enjoy and understand. Like this is nothing to be ashamed of. This is healthy information. natural, put good things on it, you know, vitamins for there.

Well, I think the authenticity behind what it means to me being always in the forefront, either defending, you know, or celebrating or opening conversations and doors for women to be able to feel safe enough to talk about their sexuality and what that means for them, because

again everybody is so different and there's no shame in the game i just want to really just um now at this point in my life being a mother who has a daughter who's developing her own relationship with her body and asking me you know when she sees you know that time of the month for me like what's it what's a tampon what does it do you know how am i going to approach these conversations and and in making her make sure that she uh feels

I was at that time raised by my mom and my grandma. So strong women. And my grandma specifically really was so proud and, you know, really... pushed it to be like taken seriously as something to be professional because singing always just came to me as like this this release.

she's taking care of herself so that she can also engage with a future healthy relationship. That's sex positive.

Um, sex is very important. I love the product playground. It's all safe. It's all natural. And it just, you know, you know, feels good. You know, we've explored with this, um, you know, safe for you. And, um, and it's so pretty. It fits in like the palm. I love it. You can put it on your nightstand. It's like you're

point blank point blank sex is 10 times better with lube that's a thousand percent and it's like we wouldn't think of like doing things to our face like we moisturize there's women that do we do 10 step beauty routines and things we wouldn't think of like going through a drugstore and not hitting that section not doing something moisturizing for our hair like this is the epicenter of power like we need to be nurturing and taking care of and celebrating this very important part it literally

Yeah, it's the star of the show. So we literally need to be giving, you know, nurture, tender, loving care to it. And also it should be explored. And what better to help do this? But then, you know, sometimes it's a little... Get a little something, something down there. Feels good, yeah.

negativity that was you know just always trying to be um you know poked you know and I'm I'm also you know you know I

I have no time for like negativity and it's like I've been in the business long enough to know like you know I just want none of it anymore to be a part of like the headline and it's like something that you know as a grown woman you can have more control over but you know I don't like getting poked under the table because

you know, we're in an elevated time in our, in all of our lives where we are more open and talk, talking to each other. And I'm just, I want peaceful energy, peaceful vibes. Like I don't need to be talking about things that happened, you know, decades ago, like let's grow up, let's embrace like now more than ever is the time for that. And so I think, um,

I grew up in a chaotic, you know, upbringing as a very young child and always kind of like feeling like a protector and all that and always

Yeah, just, you know, don't poke the bear anymore. Like don't poke, don't poke, don't poke me under the table because I'm still not going to be, you know, I'm still not going to be, I'm not going to be baited anymore. You know, like a long time, you know, it happened for a long time too. And this happened even, you know, after I had my babies. It's like a lot of people don't,

Because they're, you know, they need some attention too. They're like, I'll get poked under the table and be like, it's one of those passive, what do you call those people that are just passive aggressive? They'll poke under the table when no one's looking and then be like, I don't know why she's so, I don't know, she's crazy. You know what I mean? And you're like, just leave me alone.

Manipulative, like, because like, yeah, don't poke me too much. Like, let's not get it twisted though. I'm sensitive and all that, but I'm a tough cookie. At the end of the day, I truly don't give a fuck.

you know what i mean like i just really don't and i you know this is why like i just don't have time for the petty or you know just you know sometimes you know the celebrity status stuff it's just like i just i want to live a real life and a loving life you know right i just i want good things around my energy space is so important to preserve that and and for my children you know

Yeah.

Decades. Decades.

Grown women shit now. Truly. Truly. Kids involved. Examples.

felt isolated sort of in my position in my situation and so singing it was a sound of music that first inspired me to sing and from then I just you know it was like just a release and a form of expression for me before I even understood what that meant and then whenever my parents got divorced moved in with my grandma my grandma was like you know this could this could be something and

do you remember like the first moment you realized like this is unsafe or something was wrong fear you know you have to listen to your body and um you know fear is is something that uh you know you innately feel you know uh so right then and there you know something doesn't feel good and it's not right um and then you know having so much

compassion for my mother and seeing, you know, when you see someone, um, being hurt, someone you love. Whew. Yeah. That, uh, you know, I still, you know, at 42, I'm still affected by this. It's, it's under the surface. Trauma never leaves you. You just figure out ways to try and heal it. And, and to me there, it's therapeutic to speak about it.

And I saw my mom, you know, go through so much that I think that instilled a level of,

purpose for me in the sense of i i always want to try and empower uh other people and people in situations where they feel voiceless and unheard and i just have such a deep-rooted need to try and you know use my voice and i would later discover and understand what that meant to me but it never leaves you and and your trigger when you see movies when i when i you know i just immediately you go to that place

It's amazing.

you know, and I've done a lot of healing and a lot of growth and releasing, you know, a lot of anger comes with that. A lot of shame comes with that. But, you know, it takes a lot for a woman to leave those situations as well. And my heart goes out because some of them don't leave them. And, you know, and that could vary in a lot of ways. You know, sometimes it's financial, sometimes it's

fear of authorities not helping and then it getting worse or you know sometimes they're you know sometimes it feels like there's no way out but you you know my mom luckily you know she really we would do these drives from at the time it was the last straw from Jersey to my grandma's in Pittsburgh and we would just do these nightly just me her and my little sister and we would just like do the night drive but

you know, all of that, it stays with you, but it's become a part of what's important to me is my message.

Yeah. Yeah.

There There's some back and forth. There was some back and forth. There's always the tug of like, I'm never going to do it again. There's sweet talking involved. There's a lot of shame also in like, well, why don't you just leave? It is so much more complicated than that. And it's a mental breakdown of self-esteem. And you start to believe that

someone else's narrative and verbal abuse to you and it self-esteem is something that can break down so easily even to the most powerful woman executive um it doesn't matter what you do this you know we can go on stage and have these larger than life personas but all it takes is for you to believe someone's negative narrative about you.

Once it's in there and it's working its way in, that's why I'm so adamant with my daughter. I'm just like, first time somebody ever hits you, the first time somebody makes you feel not right about yourself,

Yes. Officially, when the abuse started to really turn onto me, you know, we were living in Japan for like three years. So we were super isolated, which is where I started singing. And looking back, that's where I started to kind of like sing out of this window. I have like a thing about like windows and like they just when you're feeling just, you

I don't know there's something about the representation of a window and just like there's hope on the other side you know and so that's where I started you know singing these songs from like the sound of music and just to myself and just that image I'll always remember it's like a core memory of just like there's like something on the other side there's like a bigger world there's a bigger purpose I felt it as at a really young age but yes it was like a matter of things and like you're in a foreign country where my dad was in the army so we're on an army base I mean

In a situation like that too, abuse runs rampant. You know, the walls are paper thin, you know, where we're living and you can hear abuse just happening on the other side of the wall. You can hear, I mean, you know, it's terrifying and it's like all you want to do is help, but a lot of times, even when you call the authorities, you don't get the help that you need.

And then the door shuts and you're with your abuser again. So it's so important to try and research all you can, speak to people that you can trust and really, you know, try and get yourself out of these situations. Because, you know, worst case scenario, you won't, you know, live to tell the story about it.

Yes, still am. But you know what? In this role too, it comes with responsibility and responsibility that I know is destined for me and I take on and I take it on well. When you're in those situations, you grow up really fast and you become like an immediate caretaker and protector of the person that's being hurt. And so, yeah, this is just like kind of like my role. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All my dogs are rescues. Like, you know, I'm just that person. Your mother, your mother.

It's a work ethic. It teaches you work ethic. You're given a schedule, where you are in a call sheet. It's very disciplined and you either built for that or you're not. It's something that you realize very quickly if you're cut out for that kind of lifestyle. It's hectic. It's chaotic. It's go, go, go. It's on the run and that only builds the more you create and

I have to say, and my mom would always say this too, you know, she wasn't like your typical, like I would be around these kids who were just like really forced to do this, you know, and my heart would break for them and my mom would be like, what is wrong with her? Like, you know, because you see these... Mothers and the kid doesn't even want to do it.

But it was just this is what I was born to do. So it was something that we really knew. And and I pushed, you know, for the performances to happen again. Like but just in the most, I think, organic way to start just like because I loved it.

And for the first time, I was around a bunch of other kids who really loved it, too. Like it was just, you know, born performers.

I said yes to you because I've seen you pop up on social media, which didn't exist when I was coming up in this business. And, you know, I've been doing this since I was like six or seven, basically. So but you feel safe.

And it was really cool to feel that energy because, you know, coming up in school, In the town that I grew up, it wasn't really like, you know, it's a sports town, you know, and that kind of thing was very celebrated. But like arts and creativity and whatnot, you have that in Pittsburgh. But yeah, I just didn't have a lot of kids that truly...

loved doing that, and those kids were just, how talented everyone was. Ryan Gosling, like, you know, Kerry Russell, there was just so many people that it was just like, wow, what a casting agent, you know, to get everybody together. Totally.

That's a good question. In really thinking about it. Probably no. You're like, I love my life. No, sometimes I would, you know, because I was working a lot. But I wanted to go. You know, I wanted to, you know, you know.