Chuck Bryant

says, living well is the best revenge.

is sort of the nuts and bolts of number eight.

And there's something to be said for that, but I think it also makes it much harder to forgive and move on if you're not able to live well.

And that doesn't mean money and riches and stuff like that.

That means just living a full life.

But if you're not able to forgive and get past that, I mean, there are plenty of movies of people that have been

have some awful thing from their past that they're just wallowing in all these years later, and that's the central plot of the film, you know?

She-Devil.

Hoosiers.

That's right.

But that's, I mean, that's the point of forgiveness is to free yourself, to find peace within yourself.

And yes, it's great for the person who wronged you if you overtly forgive them and let them know, but you don't have to.

And then also, Chuck, there's a whole school of thought in psychology that says, not only do you not have to tell the person that you're forgiving them, you don't have to forgive them.

Right.

At all.

And that there's this whole almost kind of not culty but really kind of dogmatic idea that if you don't follow these steps and you don't like genuinely fully forgive somebody, you really haven't worked out the process.

There's something wrong with you.

Maybe you're an unforgiving person and that makes you tacky.

That's what psychologists call it.

And there's a whole group of psychologists say, no, no, no, there's a there's way more to this process than just, you know, nine steps or the reach method.