Chuck Bryant

But the way you do this, the way you recognize that your forgiveness is an altruistic gift is to think about times where you've wronged somebody and that they've been forgiven or forgiving.

And even if you didn't necessarily deserve it and what a gift that that was, you're kind of bringing it to mind, which I think is really suspiciously kind of tied in with empathizing, if you ask me.

Yeah.

I mean, he was trying to make the word reach.

Sure.

Commit to this is what I mentioned earlier about telling someone else doesn't necessarily have to be the person you're forgiving, although that could help if you want to go that route.

But telling someone else, at least in Worthington's mind, makes it gives it a degree of permanence.

And it basically makes it part of your story.

Like you're changing the story, essentially.

Exactly.

And then hold.

And this is very important too, that we said earlier, you can forgive and it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to forget.

So when you do remember that kind of thing, you're still going through the process and you're still angered by it.

You're still hurt by it, but you're on the path to forgiveness.

You have to hold on to the idea that you're working on forgiving them, that it's not an instantaneous thing.

So you have to hold the fact that you're forgiving them, even in the face of being triggered by or flooded by this again

when you think about the memory of it.

Right.

Luskin has a nine-step process, which we're not going to really get into, but step eight is interesting.

Just like R.E.M.