Ciara McGeehan

And I'm like, shit, they haven't.

Sorry.

It's like they haven't been around me on this process long enough just yet for me to throw out a little bit of that.

But me and Tommy find our ways to cope.

Don't you be getting upset at me, Nigel!

And do you know what?

It's still a part that makes me emotional because I can cope with the me.

And the toughest thing for me was telling the people closest to me.

Was driving to Porto Ferreira that day, me and Tommy in the car.

Oh, yeah.

God loves him for that.

For anybody, like, we had left.

I live in Dunmurray in Belfast, very close to the Mary Peters track.

And we were driving up towards the House of Sport roundabout.

And there's me using...

locations that people might not know but anyway there's a big roundabout and um like me and tommy knew that we were driving to porto ferre my mommy had went over to to the chelsea flower show with my little brother she had said i don't want to go i won't go and i'm like why aren't you gonna go you're just gonna be sitting at home feeling miserable like go and see brandon give him a big hug he's got this news too enjoy the chelsea flower show sure like you're not even it like what you're gonna do stare at me like it's not like i'm like go we all have to continue living our lives

And that's something that I've really wanted people to keep doing.

So mummy had flown home, Brett had flown home, his partner Sean had flown back to home.

And so we were driving down, obviously the mood in the car with me and Tommy is not... It's horrendous.

Just a heavy load and I'm like, oh my God, this... So we get to the roundabout and somebody at the front is slow to pull out.