Ciara McGeehan

And I know if people recently have died on road traffic accidents and their families are like, why?

You know, five minutes of a difference could have been a different story for them.

So

As much as I try to do that to grind myself and bring myself back to the reality of it and not get lost in the whys and the what ifs because it won't change it.

And I did have some...

some appointments with Steve Peters, who's a well-renowned, I won't say sports psychologist, because Steve is like a psychiatrist and everything else.

I would do him a disservice by trying to name his title.

After Paris, I went and had two chats with him.

I went to his house, he very kindly let me go to his house and we had a good sit down and talked through things.

And obviously I was talking to him about the grief of

the season before, pulling out of the Olympics, breakdown of a coaching relationship, leaving a team and how all that left me feeling.

And at that point, he was just, he was like, he has a principle, there's a book called The Chimp Paradox and people who don't know it, it's like kind of saying you have a chimp in your brain who tries to override an awful lot of the other things.

So he was like, your chimp thinks everything should be fair.

And it's something I identify in myself.

I think the world should be fair.

I think that,

Millionaires should be taxed more.

I think that there shouldn't be wars and it shouldn't be decided by some orange man in another country.

Dropping bombs on innocent people.

I look at these things and I get really upset because I'm like, that's not fair.