Clare Crowe

And, you know, particularly as kids get older, you can meet with a resistance or I'm not doing that.

I would always say to parents, use a five minute rule.

Go and see.

We're not committing to anything.

And then I would use that rule because it's like going to a dentist, like going to your psychologist or a therapist.

See if you like them.

See if you connect.

And if you don't, choose a different one.

Now, I'm not being naive here because I really understand that.

the waitlists for these kind of services are so extensive and they're expensive and they're difficult to access.

So for me, the other message for parents is there is a lot of good work we can do at home with our children.

And some of those are the things that we've talked about over the last few weeks, Clare, about, you know, outdoors and playing with your child and

how to show your emotions and regulate in front of the kid.

But there's a lovely therapeutic phrase that your therapist will use and it's, children can only change when they're no longer expected to.

And what we mean by that is, meet a child where they're at.

We used to have a, it's a joke for psychologists that is not very funny, but it was like, how many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

And the answer is one, but the light bulb has to be ready to change.

So that's kind of how we need to think of our child.

And for that, for parents, what I really want them to do is to validate.

Now, dad said to me recently, I don't even know what you mean by that word.