Clarissa Rojas
Appearances
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Hello, hello, everyone, and welcome back to Saved Not Sauce. What's going on, everybody? Y'all, today I'm so very, very, very, very excited. And I have, because you guys know it's rare occasions when we have guests, but when we do have guests, it's super important, super valuable to me into this ministry that God has graced and blessed me with.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
We've already been friends for so long. Like, I feel like this almost happened really naturally. Yeah. To where I feel like if this would have happened, I don't know, even like two years ago would have been like...
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Right. And so it traumatized me so badly in my mind, like my mind fully deceived itself into thinking that I couldn't eat hard foods anymore. So for three months straight, I was just eating mashed beans, mashed potatoes, rice. But the rice had to be a little bit mushy and then protein shakes because I was like scared to eat. Yeah. And because you were scared to die. Yes. Yes.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
That's another instance where the Lord was humbling me. He's like, you believe your life is yours. You're afraid to die. Why? I conquered that.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Right. And it's funny that it's like the whole gospel is literally a testament of how we're supposed to die. Yes, literally.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah. Because I was like... Oh, like I am prideful because I'm leaning on my own understanding. I'm trying to control my own life when I thought I had given it to Christ. And so I'm in that season, you know, 11th grade to, you know, my freshman year of college. And the Lord was like, you didn't really give your life to me. And I was like broken. I was crushed because I was like, what do you mean?
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I thought I've been walking with you this whole time. And it's like, the Lord's like, it's not that you haven't been walking with me. It's that I've been with you. You just haven't really been with me. You know, it's like I've been here at the table, but you keep getting up. Yeah. Like, you know. And so that's where I kind of was.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And because of that fear, mind you, my uncle who was helping me a lot with scripture and trying to help me with my anxiety. And it's funny because people could tell you the truth all you want. You're not going to listen to it. You're not going to listen until God really is like... You got it now. Yeah. Because he would be like, don't be afraid. Like, don't be anxious for nothing.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
okay. Yeah. You know? Yeah. No, it's definitely God's divine timing. Yeah.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
He's like, you know how many times he quoted that verse to me? Don't be anxious for nothing. But in everything, like... In prayer petition. Yeah. Yeah. Give it all to God. He's like, that's the key. You'll be free. And I'm like, kept reading.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I'm like, I'm... I don't see it. I don't see it at all. Like, how do I get out of anxiety? Like, it's like one of those things. And you see even like the world talking about it and people who struggle with like...
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
anxiety or depression whatever it may be and it's like they express that they're experiencing fear or that they're experiencing certain emotions and they get triggered almost when people are like oh well don't be afraid and it's like well easier said than done i want to be afraid but there is like almost an accountability that has to be taken because it's like there actually is a part of you that's comfortable with being afraid even if i were to make a bed in my fear and insecurities you would come and find me
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It definitely flew really well.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And we're more mature in the faith.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Because if God is going to find you in hell, he can definitely find me when I'm not in my right mind or when I'm stuck in fear or when I'm ashamed or insecure. Like God could do that. So it's just a matter of being okay with dying to yourself because essentially that's what Christ wants and that's what he died for.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Oh, for sure. Yeah. Well, we've been friends the past. It's literally, I feel like it's about, it feels like it's coming up four years, but I think it's three about to be four.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So... No. Yeah. The dying, the dying to self and the dying to pride is truly what rescued me because I didn't think I was prideful. I mean, I didn't even fully know what pride was. And so I was learning about humility and humility in the Hebrew means and it means to be wretched and needy. Yeah. And I was like, okay, it's a crazy word. No, yeah.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
That's why Paul says, well, what a wretched man I am. Who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to God in Jesus Christ. Because only he can truly rescue you out of whatever it is that you're going through. But you first have to recognize what a wretched man you are.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And I don't think for the longest time while I was battling my anxiety, I didn't think I was needy or tried to convince myself that I was okay because...
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
i'd be lying if i didn't say that there were moments where i'd be begging god literally i'm like do you not hear me i am in need god please save me from this like we're talking from first grade all the way up until my freshman year of college there were moments where i was literally like god why won't you rescue me and why aren't you showing up like why aren't you like coming in and in my case um and in a lot of people's cases who i've spoken to about this um the reason is is because we want a quick fix we don't really want
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
the work of jesus christ yeah you know the the building up the molding of the clay we don't really want him to snatch us up in the miry clay and then build us up and then put us through the fire like we just want it to be completely done with and all good and dandy like that's not how god works though and so all my prayers without me knowing but i know now is that i just wanted that quick fix i just want you to deliver me and that it be done yeah like i don't want to go through the fire after this
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It's about to be four, which is really insane. But it feels like I've almost done my whole life with you, even though like, I haven't, but I think it's because we've just seen each other so much and have prioritized our friendship so much. And God has been so magnified through our relationship. It's been great.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah, but it would no longer make you needy of him. Exactly. And it's like one of those things where it's like God enjoys the process that you might hate because he's in it. Yeah. So it's like God enjoys our process that we have to go through because we need him through the process. So it's like as soon as we are not in a place of neediness, like we don't need God.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
God then, like even when we was at the flea market and we were studying 2 Corinthians 12, where Paul is talking about the thorn of the flesh. Like he said, a messenger of Satan has afflicted me with this thorn so God could humble me.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And it's almost as if God has allowed you and I both to experience that anxiety for so long or all these areas and avenues of our lives to where it was very traumatic. God, why don't you snatch me up from this? God, why don't you fix it right away? Because it makes us dependent of him. It keeps us in a humble position. Yeah.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And it's like, there's been a lot of places where I've been dead wrong and I've been caught up in a lot of sin. Or I was tempted and accused and oppressed by a lot of things, whether it was my fault or not. But God allowed it to happen because he allowed to use that thing for me to need him.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And that, I will never take back any of those moments in my entire life because I'm like, I got to see the goodness of God. Yeah. I don't know. During the time you're like, dang, I don't want to go through this depression or I don't want to go through this anxiety or I don't want to go through the nightmares or seeing scary stuff in my bedroom. I don't know.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
This is personal stuff that I would deal with, but I'm just being transparent. But I was like, dang, like, why is this stuff happening? And God's like, because you have to see my glory through it. And it's like, I would do those things over again if I knew I was going to seek such a big revelation from God.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
He said, the reason as to why this message, this messenger of Satan is oppressing me so much is because God has given me such great revelation and he got to keep me humble. It's not God permitting evil because he doesn't want that, but it's almost as if God is allowing him. It's like God is sharing to an extent because he's so generous.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
He's like, I'm going to share myself with you, but not too much. So we're to where like self-righteousness is birth and you make it all about you and you think we can share this platform.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
like you're you're just my kid like you go out and you talk about me and you testify but it's like you don't you don't get to be me yeah so it's almost like god allows the consequences of the earth to like reside on his children sometimes not because he permits evil but because he wants us to just stay humble yeah and we could keep ourselves humble um or we even humble ourselves just by being in sin
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah. When it comes to humility, um, and how I humbled, um, humbled myself or practiced humbling myself, um, was because circling back to the fear of eating, I didn't want to fast because I was already like, I'm not eating. Like, why would I want to give up food? Like I need to eat. I'm, I look weak. I
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Well, kind of almost the start of your whole life when you gave your life to Christ. That's when I met you. Yeah, it was right after your life was just starting. Yeah. Yeah. Technically.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It's kind of weird because, I mean, I could have sat there and been like, well, I'm already not eating. Might as well. But then that would have been wrong, too. Because then it's just like there's no like actual intention of humbling myself before the Lord. It's just like I'm already not eating, so I'm not going to do it. But I had this fear of not eating because I was already not eating.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So I was like, I'm going to die if I don't eat. Yeah.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
you know so like what do you do so i'm like yeah i'm like i'm in this predicament because i'm like the lord is like i need you to humble yourself and i didn't really fully understand the need for fasting um but ultimately i mean it's just like you're taking your most basic need because humans need food to like or they need food to survive for sure like water to survive so you're taking those most basic need saying i don't need that i need your spirit more
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yep. Like you're prioritizing dependency on the spirit more than the food you depend on daily. You wake up. Well, I don't know about you. The first thing I do, I eat. Like I work out first, then I eat. Well, OK. Yeah. No, but I'll eat a snack before I go to the gym. But like that's my thing. Like I wake up and I eat. And then after the gym, I'm like, all right, big breakfast. Eat again. Yeah.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Eat again. And then it's like I do what I got to do throughout the day. Run errands for my parents, whatever it is I got to do. When's lunch? Yeah. Like and. Then I'm like, what's for dinner? Like, you know, we're so... Everything's about food. Even when you were in church, what am I going to eat after this? Right. Or what am I going to eat before this? What am I going to eat?
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But we've become so dependent on it. Like, fasting truly taught me, like... That isn't as important as I am. I'm the daily bread that you need. It's like gluttonous. Yes.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Right. It was it was really insane. And I think it was so funny because whenever we met, we we prayed each other into our lives.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It's literal gluttony. I think people think gluttony is being obese. Gluttony is making food and consumption an idol. That's what gluttony is. So if you're in church and you're thinking about what I'm going to eat after the service, you're gluttonous. Because...
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
You want a big back for a Big Mac, and it's like God just wants you to sit down and read Proverbs for a moment, and then you could have your number four later. I'm being so serious, dog.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I'm being so serious. No, for real, though. No, seriously. Bro, big back for a Big Mac is crazy.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
no but it's facts no it's facts though bro well well actually when i met you that's when i fasted for the first time you remember that oh yeah yeah so i remember the first time i fasted it changed my entire life because i was reading my scriptures and like i knew the bible uh i've always been you know super into like god's word and just really receptive off of everything that god was saying and
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
you know, being obedient in my walk and all this stuff for like the stage that I was at. But one place where I was really weak in the beginning of my faith was fasting. I remember the first fast I did was a three week fast, a three week intermediate fast. So I wasn't eating from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. for three weeks straight. It was like 21 days.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Oh, yeah. A lot of prayer.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And when I tell you the amount of blessings I got out of that fast, absolutely changed my life. And I did it through my other best friend, Amoya's church. And
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And a lot of crying out. Yes. Yeah. No, literally.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
well they just they just come with a fire i mean whenever she'd be staying over she'd be playing their services out loud and it just sound like they going to work in the spirit no but uh yeah shout out uh kingdom full tabernacle they're great but uh yeah so i did uh their fast and it was their marriage and destiny fast and i did that for three years straight that's how i know it's been three years because i would have done it this past year would have been three years um but
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah, it completely changed my life. It showed me areas in my life where God was there and I didn't even know. Like how you said earlier, places where you didn't know you needed him. It humbled me a lot. It showed me really how weak I was, how I couldn't do everything on my own, how God and Christ is magnified of how Jesus truly is and needs to be the center of it all for my whole entire life.
Saved Not Soft
Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And just like God bless me with someone who's like minded. And even we get people tell us who say we look alike, too. And I'm always like, you think I look Latina?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And then he showed me
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
me areas in my life where I was down bad like really down bad emotionally physically psychologically he showed me even even things I hated about those around me that I even picked up for myself like a lot of hypocrisy he was like Emmy like you get so mad that people around you are doing this but you're doing the same exact thing like even when it came to my family I'd be like oh hey my mom's doing this or hey that my brother's doing this or my dad and
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And he was like, you're doing the same exact things that they're doing. And let me show you why in the spirit, because they're caught up in all this fear. They've been oppressed. They've gone through tragedies and whatever it may be. And it's poured onto you. So child, what are you going to do about this? Are you going to come into agreement with the same stuff they've been doing?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Are you going to like push forward and create something new with me? Because I'm also a first generational Christian. So that was like a different fire. But fasting, every time I fast, I always get massively humbled. And fasting is always Holy Spirit led to. I just feel the Lord just being like, you have to fast. And I fast, I try once a month. Like at least once a month I fast.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Even if it's just for a day or two or three. For a while, I did the first three days of the month and it completely changed my life. Because you're needy for God. And even Mark chapter five, whenever he's talking about the spirit of legion and the disciples going to cast that day and demon out and they're like, why can't we do this?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And Jesus said, there's only certain spirits that can be casted out through prayer and fasting. And you know how much stuff is probably in the aroma in the room with us. It's like, we got the blood of Christ. Yes. But it's like, there's other things we're still needing to die to.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And it's like, if we're failing to pray and fast, it's like, how do we expect God's going to give us that provision to partner with him?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah. No, a thousand percent.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Because he could do it on his own, but it's like God is... Faith without works is dead. So it's like God will grace us so we can have the faith. So then work through that faith to do the dang thing that he has called us to do.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah. No, and going off of that verse too, that was one of the scriptures that set me free from my anxiety and depression, fear, all that stuff. Because... mind you, I was learning about the importance of fasting because I had come across that verse. And I was like, because like I said, I had knew the word. So the word was like, the word's important. Don't get me wrong.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Like, but it's like, I only like knew it to just have head knowledge, not to have intimacy with God. So, the Lord really highlighted to me through that scripture. And that's how I think the Lord got me with intimacy through prayer and fasting. Because he's like, if I can't get you with this, Clarissa, because you're misusing it for the wrong reasons, then I'm gonna get you right here.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So my prayer life changed completely because I was just like, oh, thank you, God, for this. And thank you, God, for that. Like, when I started, like, learning the power of prayer and, like, praying things off of me and, like, demons and literally, like, darkness, evil thoughts, laying those at the feet of Jesus, casting every thought to him and, like, holding it captive at the feet of Jesus.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Like, literally, that's when I found deliverance. Like, I can tell...
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I was like, buddy, you see the height difference?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
the day i went to the hospital like i passed out in the hospital ended up throwing all throwing up all over their floor it literally felt like a demon was coming out of me yeah it literally a whole deliverance in their room like my mom literally said she stepped back from the gurney because she thought i was gonna throw myself off because i was yakking so hard yeah i remember you said that she said it even looked like you yeah she yeah she was like you look so pale like your vein was popping out i was like bro and to me it probably wasn't me bro no yeah
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I was like, I'm pushing six foot. I'm like, Larissa, she's just like six centimeters. Like, she's just down there. six centimeters no that was so insane but anytime anybody i don't know i just feel like maybe this is a terrible analogy i'm just gonna say you know this might be terrible i'm just gonna say now how like you get a dog and then the dogs start to look like you oh my god
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Right. Probably something else. Right. Right. Well, I'm like, literally after that day, I was laying in that hospital room and I was like, God, I'm like, I do not want to be here again. These same four walls. I'm like, I hate it here.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I hate it here. And then obviously that's when God revealed to me through his word, that scripture in Mark about prayer and fasting. Yeah, the Holy Spirit. Yeah, and humbling myself before him. But also the scripture, David is praying in Psalms. what is it? It was like, seek the Lord with all your heart. And he would, oh wait, it was like those who seek him, he delivers them from all their fears.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And I was like, it was like something clicked in my head, like a key. It was like the passage, right?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Is that Psalms 118 or 55? Or it could be 23. Yeah. I'm going to look.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
You keep talking. I thought it was, I want to say it's like in the 50s. I'll look. But he basically says, I sought the Lord with all my heart and he delivered me from all my fears. And I was like, that's it. That's the key. Seeking God. And I connected it with the other scripture of through prayer and fasting. And God's like, you're going to find me there.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So it was through the fasting and the prayers.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Oh, it's 30s. It's like 34. It has to be like the 34. I think it might be 34.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
i think it might be 34 too yeah taste and see yeah i sought the lord and he answered me and he delivered me from all my fears i was like it's one of the one of the double digit songs yeah no that's good that that was before we go off track just because we talked about it and i could totally see people listening to this having this question how is it that you could be a christian you're getting oppressed by demonic spirits
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
We could both tackle it. Either you could start or I could start. Start with that. I just want to prompt the question. Because I bet people are probably hearing your testimony. They're like, wait, you're telling me that she gave her life to Jesus and she loves Jesus and he loves her and they have a relationship. And yet you're dealing with demonic oppression. How does that look?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah. Well, from what I've learned through scripture, salvation is a daily thing. You're being saved daily. His mercies are new daily because we sin daily. Like if we think we going on perfect, like day to day, like you're lying to yourself. Like, and I think that's how we get into the self-righteous attitude. And this prideful attitude is thinking we better in like than anything.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And like forgetting to thank God that we are sinners are recognizing who we are without Christ in the blood to carry us through. But, um, It was like this continual like acknowledgement of what was inside of me because it's here. Let me make this clear though too. Sometimes it's not always a demon. Like let's talk about what Paul says about your evil inclination within you. Yeah.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It's you sometimes That gives birth to sin. We give too much credit to Satan sometimes or his demons. And I'm like, bruh, like, no, it's you sometimes. And in my case, I had to come to terms with it was myself. My negative ways of thinking, what I was feeding my mind, the music I was listening to, things I was watching. A lot of my problems and anxieties...
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I promise you didn't really stem from Satan or demons. I could possibly be a factor, but I truly believe a lot of it was through my own evil inclinations, my selfish desires, my passions and all those things. And like things I've opened doors to for sure. So, um, that's,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
What was kind of like that whole relationship between me and God of like, okay, you need to die to this part of yourself today and now because like you gonna go away with the wind if you don't humble yourself. Right.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And I think it's also like seeing too of understanding God. what Satan can actually do. So if you give Satan more power, you're giving him the power to rule in those areas where you're fearful or you may be afraid or you don't want him to have terrain in those areas. And it's like the only thing, and this is factual, the only thing that Satan can do is leverage your flesh.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
He cannot make you make a decision. He cannot decide anything for you. He does not call out your destiny. The only thing Satan can do is leverage what you're already experiencing in the natural. And so I think sometimes we give...
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
the enemy in the dark side, open realms, territories and areas and aspects of our life for him to creep and crawl in and infiltrate them because the door is being swung open by fear and like a hyper vigilance and like a almost, almost like I'm too scared to where I don't even know what to do to where it's just like, okay, come on in.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And it's like, that's actually like operating and fearlessness and in faith is going to be the thing that like shuts the door. It doesn't necessarily mean that
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
demonic oppression isn't going to exist so yeah okay wait back to the original question because i want to squash it real quick so people have the question if you're a christian and you're in perfect harmony with god then how is it that christians still go through demonic oppression so there's a difference between possession and oppression every person we see who's possessed in the bible were people who were not believers of god but god had but jesus had used the deliverance from their possession to bring them to him right yeah
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
every person every person i know the dog that they have looks like the owner i've heard that but i think something more people might really resonate with is like a boyfriend and a girlfriend becoming like looking alike they start looking like yes and it's like you just you just mesh well yeah so i think it's because not only i think i i don't know maybe some like i think maybe because we have dark features that's where people can like make that alignment yeah but i also think that's what
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But oppression is experiencing demonic pressure, not necessarily to where it's dictating the inside of you and your thinking and all these things. Because like how I said, the only thing that Satan can do is leverage your flesh. But it's oppressing you. It's oppressive. It is damaging. But it's not... It's not overtaking you in other areas like how possession would.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And so they're like, okay, well, if you're perfectly in harmony with God, how could that happen? So we could go to two instances in the Bible. First one, we could go to Matthew chapter four, where Jesus is in the garden and he's fasting for 40 days and 40 nights and he's oppressed by Satan himself.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So how is it that the son of God who was quite literally in perfection being oppressed by Satan himself?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So if Jesus was oppressed by Satan, how much more could we be oppressed by evil once again? And so it's knowing how to conquer these things, not invite them, sit at a table and let's play chess or something like that, but instead seeing it for what it is.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And what Hebrews 4.14 says is that we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weakness, just how he has been tempted just like us, but yet did not fall into sin. It's just understanding that The earth was made and orchestrated to be good, but because sin entered the world, there is a ruler here and it's a prince. It's not a king because the king of all kings is Jesus.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But Satan is the prince of evil and he was casted down here to reside. And so even when we look at the Garden of Eden, even before all sin broke out, how is it that Adam and Eve were made perfect in God and they're being oppressed by a serpent in a garden?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So you're telling me two perfect human beings were oppressed by Satan. And it's because love requires risk and freedom. So in order for us to experience true compassion with God, we first had, he first has to limit his power in order for us to make a choice. So evil happens, not because God permits it, but because it's allowed. So we can make a choice of what we want to choose. So,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Honestly, just being flat out honest, I don't know how many people have dealt with demonic oppression. It could even be addiction, sleeping with somebody you're not supposed to sleep with, doing witchcraft, whatever it may be. Those things, those temptations could feel really easy for you to fall into. But God is asking you, how much do you love me and want to choose me?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Like, will you choose me even though this feels easy, even though everybody else is doing it, even though the majority of Gen Z is doing all this, like, witchcraft, tarot card reading, they sleeping with whoever, they have hookup culture and all this stuff. Like, those things look easy, but are you going to choose me? Like, there's another option.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It's like God just allows that to happen, not because he wants us to choose evil, but actually because he wants us to choose him. And if God forced us to choose him, then it wouldn't feel fair. God is just and he's fair. So if God didn't orchestrate freedom and risk because love can't exist outside the parameters of that, then we wouldn't have a free choice to freely choose them.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Therefore, it wouldn't actually be a relationship. It would be dictatorship. I did a whole podcast episode on this if there's people who are listening who are like, Bro, what? There's a whole episode talking about why does God allow suffering? But it's kind of like that question. Like, dang, God, like, why do you... Like, I bet even Paul had that question with God in 2 Corinthians 12.
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Like, why did you allow the messenger of Satan to come and put this thorn in my flesh? But he answered it. He was like, because it keeps me humble and it keeps me needy. And I understand why you did this, God. It's not because...
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
you want this to happen it's because you want my neediness yeah and it's because if that wasn't allowed to happen it's almost as if god allowed that to happen because paul couldn't infiltrate that that behavior for himself yeah like i bet if we were to keep ourselves needy all the time and if we humbled ourselves all the time like we'd be good yeah but like god has to humble us yeah because we fail to humble ourselves you know exactly
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
No, I even think when it comes to like our own selfish inclination and desires that we were within the spirit, Paul, he's like, is it in second Corinthians where he's like, I do what I do not want to do. It says Romans 7.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
spiritually emotionally like physically um like our personalities there's also a lot of crossovers in that too with like our mannerisms and etc especially we've meshed so much especially yeah personality definitely personality and things that like we say as well just kind of having that same language and stuff so i don't think it's just even like a physical appearance it's also just like a
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It says I do not want to do what I do want to do. I don't do it because of sin that lives within me.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah. So it's like this constant, like bad. Does that mean like you can't have a relationship with God or get, God can't grant you grace again. Like literally God says, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Like you can't even have grace without humility. True. Like, To even think about that is crazy because everyone's like, oh, free grace, blah, blah, blah.
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Everyone's living by this grace that enables them instead of changes them. And that's the problem in our society. It's like, you know, oh, I can do whatever I want, blah, blah, blah. And we're living by this false doctrine of grace. And it's like, no, it's supposed to change you.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Like you need to humble yourself in order to even receive that grace in the first place, recognize your need and then have that, you know.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
work of the holy spirit done in you so what do you think is like this fake grace in this like superficial grace that we're seeing people embed into their lives today it's
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Honestly, I think it's who we're allowing ourselves to be taught by and not taught by the word of God or taught by God himself. So in our society, like realistically, we're on TikTok a lot. We're on Instagram a lot. And we're looking for pastors who fill our needs, our passions and pour into those things instead of literally ripping us to shreds. I don't know about you.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I know you like this being convicted and being like corrected. Like, so do I. I want somebody to tell me if I'm not walking right because I want to walk right. I want to be made right with God. I want to be righteous with God. Like, you know, so it's like desiring to always be a student and always like understand that you're never going to like reach this like.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And before I get into who my guest is, first, if you don't know me, my name is Emmy Moore. I'm the host of this podcast, and this is Save Not Soft. And what is Save Not Soft? Save Not Soft is a podcast navigating your Christian lifestyle of what it means to be heard, loved, and seen by God. That's the mission statement. Literally, this journey is not easy. It's a little hard.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
perfect perfection where where jesus was but yeah i bring all that up just to say because it's like a lot of the teachings we listen to and the sermons we listen to they're like this grace that i would like if you messed up grace is here for you and blah blah and while that is true it's like are you going to keep going back into your habitual sin and your iniquity Or are you going to repent?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Because sin is missing the mark. Iniquity is living in a consistent cycle of your sin that you're not supposed to be living in. And a lot of freedom from that comes through confession. Literally, it's confess your sins to one another. And that's where you'll find the most freedom, actually. But confession comes through having accountability. And so it's this whole cycle of things.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It's like you humble yourself, you receive grace. Once you receive grace, the grace should change you. If the grace is not changing you, then it's not the grace of God because the grace of God should change you. If you're not seeing this active change in yourself, this renewing of your mind, shall I say, then you're not living by grace. You're just living by this tolerance. I have a question.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Do you think people are operating on a false doctrine of grace because they actually don't understand what salvation is? A thousand percent. Yeah. I think people think that grace, God's grace alone in accepting it is what makes you saved.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But Ephesians tells us that we are...
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
saved by grace through faith so it's a two-step process it's like god extends the grace onto us and whether if you accept it or not it's already given yeah your job is to respond to that in faith yeah so i think it's a false teaching that people could either give or yeah false teaching that people have infiltrated upon themselves yeah so where they think grace is just a one-step process when it's not a response it's the start of the process for sure
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It's the beginning.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Which, like, we think of, like, I love, I think it's 1 John 4, and it says, we only love Christ because he first loved us. So the only reason as to why we have our faith and we're able to exercise works and all these things in reciprocation of our faith is because God first gave us the grace and the compassion that we need to do those things in the first place.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
it's a honestly it was funny because we were talking about this yes was it yesterday about like a yolk it's like being equal yolks it's like carrying same strength strength like same tendencies and etc but yeah i think that's really good
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So it's like, it's not even like a, God don't even need you all that much. He really picked up his end and did what he needs to do. Your job is to just respond correctly. And I think that's where, you know, the saddest thing is seeing people walk around swearing up and down.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
They think that they're saved because they're accepting a superficial grace upon their terms, but not from the terms of God, which is found in scripture.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah. And, I want to add language to what you said about, um, you know, receiving the grace. And then after that comes that faith. Right. But then after that faith comes obedience because literally in, I think it's a first John four, it literally says, if you love me, you will obey my commands. So it's like faith without works is dead.
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And everyone's like, Oh, I didn't need to work my way to salvation. You don't, but the faith, your works and your, your, um, attitudes, the renewing of your minds are just fruits of the faith you have in God. Yeah. Like we can't,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
obey god and walk in um unity with god and oneness with god without having that faith and then yeah without that faith grace yeah so for sure but it's grace faith it's almost like a math that's the math i can do yeah i couldn't do math in high school but that's like math i can do god math like right like grace faith obedience provision and i'm I mean, we see that with Abraham.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
The Lord graced him. The Lord was like, go out and do this by faith. It literally says by faith, Abraham obeyed in Hebrews 11. That's Hebrews 11. Yeah. And Noah. Yeah. All of them, by faith, they obeyed. Then the faith, they obeyed, went into places that they didn't know... They had no direction on, no instructions. They weren't given no blueprint. God was just like, go and do this and do it well.
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And they went and did it anyway. And what they had to do was hard.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It was even just like a, hey, like, you know what? If you come here, you're going to be fine.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Like their lives were on the line. Literally laying their son on the altar, building an ark so their families could be saved. And like literally the Lord can deliver them like Noah. And then it's like, but you also see provision come right after that. The Lord provided a land for Abraham.
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And then for Noah, like literally the new land that he was on and like so much more, but literally like, you know, we can sit here and be like, oh yeah, the equation is so simple, but it's a daily thing. The mercies are new. It's continually doing that. And I think what keeps, I can speak for myself, but what keeps me on track with that equation is accountability. Yeah.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
yeah and this is coming from someone who never had accountability up until like two years ago yeah like getting plugged into my church and allowing someone to be like you're wrong to me and being okay with that and being okay with it because that happens a lot yes me too yeah and it's like and there's sometimes where to like really hit me deep i'm gonna bring up len for a second because that girl will be real with me we love elena she will be real with me to the brink
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
no yeah when you came into my life dude my faith like strengthened so quickly like I was so weak in my faith and I had just rededicated my life to the Lord I had been walking with the Lord you know since childhood like my dad was a pastor my uncle became my pastor um and it wasn't until like 2020 COVID hit Laura was like, smack, I'm going to humble you because you haven't humbled yourself.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
She'll be real with anybody. It's not just you. We love her. Bro, that woman is a prophet. I already told her. I know she's a prophet.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And I've learned how to take correction from her because here's the thing. Not only does she tell the truth and have it pierce me right in the heart, but she has so much grace. she knows how to balance grace and truth so well. And that's what a good teacher does. It's met with a compassion. That's what a good discipler does. That's what a good teacher does.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And because she's been so gentle and graceful and truthful with me and has those working together so well, it keeps me accountable. Even the same with you, like literally having that great, hey, look, Clarissa, like,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
this is wrong and you need to fix that but also look like here's some scripture to help you like there's grace for that and like let's keep moving forward like don't let the enemy kick you while you're down like you don't belong down like you know whatever the encouragement is and it's just like in order to keep walking in obedience walking in faith walking into the unknown being obedient even though i can't see the outcome and relying on god's grace and learning to accept god's grace because i can become so prideful that i don't receive his grace i'm like i don't deserve
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
of you god and even that's prideful like not disobedient like not receiving grace do you know what that reminds me of that that reminds me whenever jesus is washing uh peter's feet and he's like he's like jesus i'm not worthy for you to wash my feet and he was like if i don't wash your feet you have no part of me he said that dunk me in the water jesus dunk me bathe me
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
do put it on my head and jesus was like no just your feet my boy like just your feet and it's like that's how we be though it's like like god i don't need you to wash me and he was like you have no part of me to do all of me and he's like no like just let me do what i wanted to do because i know what you need yeah that's so funny but accountability is like man that's like one thing that's absolutely changed my life i think when i started getting friends that started to hold me accountable because i felt like i always held myself accountable because i never had friends who were comfortable or
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I don't know. They never, like, it wasn't even they weren't comfortable. Like, there wasn't that level of being equally yoked to where they weren't able to call me out. And so, like, now that I have, like, best friends like you and, like, Amoye and, like, Amani, like, people on the top of my head, like, y'all, like, do not hold a bag.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But it's because conviction from the Holy Spirit should always be, yes, convicting, but it's married with a compassion. Like, the moment condemnation comes into play, that's from the pits of hell. And so it's being and living in the grace of God and not living in a spirit of offense. I think that's the biggest thing.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Once I got out of the offensive state of mind and the moment I stopped making everything about me, I started taking the convictions that people would give me a lot less defensive. I should be like, oh.
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yeah you're right and that's cool like i think one of the attributes like i feel i'm really blessed that i have which i see lacking a lot of other people is like which i didn't have this for a really long time i'm finally in a place in my life where i'm really okay with being wrong I actually enjoy being wrong because when I'm wrong, I get to learn.
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But whenever I wasn't accountable and I had like a rebellious, a rebellious attitude towards authority, every time I was told I was wrong, oh, I'd freak out.
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Like I would hate being wrong because there was a part of me that wanted to call it shots and like be right. But once I surrendered that fully onto God, it truly changed my life. And I was able to be truly accountable and not just like accounted for in areas, but transformed as well. But I also wanted to talk about like how that accountability changed.
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like the conviction that comes with that also flows into the obedience that God has called us into in certain situations. Like say, if I could just give you one on the top of my head, my mentors called me out on something where I, you know what it is. I'm going to talk about it another episode. Cause I'm like, bro, that is a different story.
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And then, you know, you met me when it almost felt like I was a baby in the faith, too, in some ways. Yeah. But I think you being new to the faith, too, was like, OK, like iron sharpening iron here now. We were both right there going at the same race, same pace. And like, man, I can go on and on about how you helped me in my faith so much. And accountability. Confession? Nah.
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But they called me out on some stuff where I was like, oh, I'm down so bad. But when I tell you that that moment immediately made me turn around and repent towards God and go through with obedience, it really did. And that's the point of conviction. It's God showing you, hey, conviction should always be compassion because it's like, I love you so much that I'm showing you this.
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I told you this the other day. I was like, because there was something that you reached out to me and you're like, dang, like I hate that I'm seeing this right now. And I was like, there's a, this is by the grace of God. He's showing you this because he tells you he doesn't want you to be in it no more. Like that's actually compassionate God. Like he's not condemning you.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
He's actually being very compassionate by showing you where you're wrong. I think we would be okay with,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
being more wrong if we just allow the holy spirit to convict us and like stop seeing because whenever you talk to me i know it's not clarissa and what she thinks it's like no god is using clarissa to speak to me right now yeah does that make sense no a thousand percent and i think a lot of accountability when people do give accountability you know it's from the spirit when it's directly connected to his word
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For sure. If someone comes to me and they're like, you're doing this wrong and look at the scripture that proves it. I'm not denying that. Absolutely. Because I'm like, I'm not going to deny scripture because then I'd be calling God a liar and I'm not going to do that.
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Well, first strong force says, dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the spirit of God.
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Yeah. And not only that, but a lot of why we've grown to become more receptive of correction and take accountability. I really do believe is because of the loving kindness that is displayed through the spirit of God in the people who we've chosen as our mentors because or who God has placed in our lives as our mentors.
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Because scripture literally says it is the loving kindness of God that leads a man to repentance. Yeah. Your condemnation, your harsh words, your mean attitude towards what I'm going through. Here's what I'm going to tell you from experience. When I was dressing very immodestly, I had people throwing stones at me. It wasn't until...
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this woman in my church, she was like, Hey, like, I just wanted to add, I can't fully remember the conversation, but I remember like her being so kind about it. And like, really just like, it's just, you're in, she was talking more about my spirit than she was about my outward modesty. And that really convicted me, but it was her kindness about it, her language, her voice, her tone about it.
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That made me want to change. Yeah. Forget all those other people who told me thousands of times, you shouldn't be doing that. You shouldn't blah, blah, blah. That didn't make me want to change. In fact, it made me want to rebel a little bit more. I'm going to be honest. But it is truly the loving kindness of God that leads someone to repentance. Condemnation is never going to make anyone change.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
You see something wrong on the internet. You see something wrong in your friends. You see something going on in the congregation that shouldn't be happening. How are you going to approach that? For sure. Like, you know, and people can sit here and be like, oh, but Jesus flipped tables. Well, you ain't Jesus. Yeah, you're not Jesus. You ain't Jesus.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And it's like always approaching people with kindness or how I would want to be spoken to because I know from my experiences, kindness has always been the reason I've desired to change. It's the love.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And kindness is not tolerant. That's where people get it mixed up. It's like just because I'm kind doesn't mean I'm being tolerant to your behavior. It's actually I'm empathizing with you and I see the spirit for what it is behind you and realize that I'm not warring against flesh and blood. It's against principalities in the spiritual realm.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So what you were going through with like immodesty or living in secularism, whatever it may be, that wasn't actually you. That was a bigger spirit behind you. But if people are going just to attack and feel this self-righteousness and this like fair say a coal in their heart, then they're going to condemn you and you're going to receive it as condemnation. Right.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But they come, I know what scripture you were talking about was second, second Timothy, uh, chapter two. And I think his verses 24 through 26. And it's like his loving kindness is intended to bring you back to repentance to what? To remove the scales up out of your eyes and to remove you from the trap that the devil has ensnared you in.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So you can no longer be a vessel to do his will, but now do the things of God. And I think it's, um, like I even have a similar testimony to with the modesty thing. People would, cause I was an influencer before I was an influence for Christ. So people were on, as I was, you know, getting safe, people were on my page throwing stones at me and I never heard any of them.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Like, I found so much freedom in just having you as a friend who I can trust and be like... I'm talking about going to the deep end where people will never know that about me except you. And it's just like being able to confess things to you and keep me accountable. You're like, hey, like you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing or you're not like this isn't right.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But the moment people started to sit me down, um,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
my mentor at the time sat me down and then Amoye sat me down and they were just like look we got to be honest with you here and that's what changed me was so kind and compassionate and it was people who had the authority to call me out and all these randos on the internet that's a big one they were able to see my fruit and they were able to see my relationship with God unlike all these people on the internet and I think another area where I was really ignorant for a
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
also living a part of the world and listening to a lot of secular music. That, because that played a huge part in my faith. And then also like going out and hanging out with people who weren't really edifying my walk whatsoever. It's like people were telling me, throwing stones at me to not live this lifestyle. Stop listening to that music. Why are you making TikToks to that sound?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I'll just be like, I can listen to whatever I want. I don't have to accept that. Did all these things. And then the moment I actually got sat down and met the compassion of God, I was like, I realize, oh, man, like I actually am wretched and I suck. And but but but the tone does matter. Yeah, because you see, like, do you think Jesus was yelling at the prostitutes?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
No, like he sat and ate with them, but he told them the truth.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah, but it's like there's a way to do it.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
People don't understand the context of when he flipped the tables. Like everyone who set up the temple to be a marketplace, they knew they shouldn't have done that. So what's that? Like these prostitutes and the tax collectors, like they were in sin and it was like, they didn't understand like the full entirety of who God is versus these people who've been in the temple their whole entire lives.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
You send it upstairs. Right. And it's like, God's like, Jesus is like y'all. If anyone should know better as y'all. Yeah. So if anything, there is like a higher conviction for those who are deeply invested into Christ. Yeah. Because,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
which is why whenever Moses hit the dang rock out of water or with this stone and the water came out, it took one moment for Moses to drop the whole entire ball because God was like, you should know better out of everybody else. It's not a, there's a lack of grace. No grace is always there. God could have fully taken Moses off the planet or after he did that, but he didn't.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But it's a responsibility, which is what James writes about in chapter three. He says, teachers, understand what you do is highly responsible work because you know better. So it's like when you don't know better, there's a grace for that. And it shouldn't be met with condemnation. It needs to be met with a conviction married with compassion, right?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah. No, a thousand percent. Accountability is huge in our walk with Christ. I think repentance.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Accountability, which leads to repentance.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
No, yeah. And I mean...
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
literally going back again literally just i can't tell you i see people throwing stones at people and i'm like they're not gonna change if you do that right like and not only that like encourage them to go to church and find leadership or like something like somebody who can pour into their lives and like like when i see somebody who's barely coming to christ i'm not gonna sit here and be like you know what the outfit you wore to church today don't wear it again the next time you come
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Like, bro, this is your first day out. Yeah. They're not going to come back. Like, you know what I'm saying? So it's just like, it's that slowly, like sanctification isn't a one day thing. No, it's not. It is a daily. Yeah. It's a daily thing. And so it's, that's having, that's literally showing the grace of God. Like,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
You shouldn't be acting like that or doing like it keeps me accountable, keeps me in line with the word of God. And it really just sharpens me. So, yeah, I got knew what he was doing.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Literally being like, I see where they're at right now and I'm going to be patient with them because that's what love is. And I'm going to, you know, just help them in their walk with that because, you know.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Well, it's not calling you to keep you in your iniquity. It's just showing you that there's a higher hope.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
No, yeah. And that's through Christ. And then understanding that you're not God. You can't deliver them. True.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
you're not you're not the deliverer you're not the one and you're not the convictor right like god is like it's never you who convicts it's the holy spirit inside of you who convicts like the moment it's like oh like clarissa convicted me you already in the wrong yeah right and so am i yeah we're allowing that like the holy spirit uses you to convict me yeah like it's never a you thing and it's never like we're right but
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Honestly, what I think it is, I think it's two things. I think it's fake rage. I think people are pissed off for no reason. And they're so mad for a moment. And then they forget about it. These people actually aren't taking your circumstances that deep. One. Two, it's people wanting to be right so bad. And it's people wanting to be God. People just want to be right.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
it's like what happens when you're right it's like it's like an ego thing yeah it's like it fills them up or fuels them somehow i don't freaking know but yeah i think well even being transparent i think early on in my walk well we even talked about that i had a lot of those problems like i wanted to be right so bad to where i was actually proving myself absolutely so wrong when i was doing that but i think the the wanting of wanting to be right comes from wanting to be heard seen and loved
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I mean, that freedom that you're talking about, one of those times broke out in this very room we're in right now. That was insane. That was an insane night. No. Yeah.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
With no consequences or afflictions. Yeah. But knowing that you're heard, seen, and loved through Christ alone and you don't have to beg all these people to hear and see you or whatever it may be when Christ already validates you and what you proclaim is his truth and not yours. So even the responsibility doesn't even fall on you. It falls on the Lord because it's his truth. Yeah.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It's not your knowledge. It's his. Yeah.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I even believe with when a person is kind of like eager about those things, like or like, like you said, that fake anger of like, oh, you need to change or like you need to do this, you need to do that, whatever it is. It's this one. If you haven't been through the problem either, don't go talking about it. Like, for example, like if...
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Or if you're dealing with the same exact thing, like if you haven't been delivered from it either, don't go like trying to deliver somebody else from it. But like, for example, if I never struggled with modesty or being modest, I would never go to someone and be like, blah, blah, blah. Cause I don't, I can't sympathize with you in that area. I don't know your struggle in that.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But if anything, I could encourage you and be like, Hey, look like, you know, the Lord can sympathize with you in this or in this area, in that area, in whatever areas you were struggling with. Right. And it's just like, I would just never correct somebody in an area that I haven't gone through myself because I haven't learned it or I haven't been taught.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Or even there's times where like, this is me being so transparent. I'd be at like church services and I would feel like, because I love to just pray for people and help people. That's just me. And I remember there was one girl. Beside me, they were like, if you're dealing with fear and anxiety, raise your hand and have people come lay hands on you or whatever.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I think like everything you just said, I could say in confidence, even more you've done for me. I think that was, I think that's one of the things I admire most about our friendship is there's areas where you just like get me and I don't have to over explain myself. It's just like, you get it. Yeah. And I think that relatability and that comfortability has given me,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And this girl said she was dealing with fear and anxiety. And they were like, go pray for her. And I felt the Lord be like, don't pray for her because you're struggling with the same exact thing. And how could you deliver another person when you can't even allow me to deliver you?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
man and I was like yeah let me just sit back and deal with this it's like in other areas where I know like I'm not gonna advise someone in an area where I'm also struggling yeah and so I think that that moment though like I remember it I stood back and I was like dang like that made me
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
actually want to heal not just for the sake of myself but also for the sake to help other people yes consider others as more important than yourself yeah because that's really what it's about it's about serving others and helping others like even the king didn't come to be served he came to serve yeah and um i want to add language a little bit more to that um the anger and the getting mad because we've talked about this where it's like it becomes a self-righteous thing because you already know
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
yeah and so you're eager for the other person to know yeah but their eyes haven't been open to that and um that's such a tricky place to be in self-righteousness and like pride really at the root of it because it's like you're like i know what and it stems into anger because it's like the other person's not getting it they're not getting it clicked it's not going through their head they're not learning from it yeah and so it's like then that anger starts to arise but it's like god's like i haven't you know given them the wisdom about this and it's probably because
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Because they haven't asked for it. Yeah. Because, you know, you have to ask for wisdom to get it. Yeah. You want to know why you're dealing with what you're dealing with? You can know.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Ask for wisdom and discernment about... He literally says, like, ask for wisdom and I will give it to you. Yeah. Like, what father wouldn't genuinely and generously give you wisdom? Yeah. Like, he literally says that. And so it's just like... In 1st James. Or in James, not 1st James. But, yeah, like... You want to know, like, what you're dealing with more? Like, get wisdom on it. Ask for it.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Prayer, fasting. Accountability, church. Man, there's a whole bunch that plays into it.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But there's grace to learn it. And there's time.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
right and it's okay if you don't got to figure it out right now because there's room for you to grow right and that's that i think it's like knowing like yeah there's work that needs to be done but there's grace and time for that to be done yeah and like god also wants you to rest in the midst of it so don't be overwhelmed with all these things because you're like yeah sure it's great and like yeah you need step in obedience you need to do the things of god but it's like it's by his grace and by his timing not by yours right because we don't serve a god who's consumed or confound by time
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
No, he actually don't get fazed by it at all. Because he made it.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Right.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
He just created it. No, it doesn't. How silly a God. Like, that's so crazy to think about. Yeah. I'm going to create this thing called time. Right. Which I don't exist in. But it'd be fun for my creation to be in. Like, what? Like the mind of God is actually insane because he could have chose anything but chose this. Right.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
But he actually had to choose this because if he didn't choose this, it wouldn't have lined up with his nature. Yeah. So it is perfect that he chose this because it makes sense for God.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah. Remember when we were at... What is it? The Horseshoe in Arizona? Yes.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And that big rock, we were like looking down at the... I'm like, bro, I feel like I'm looking at like a hair of God right now.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
No, when you said that, that still sticks with me to this day. When I was coming down from that mountain, I was looking at it so differently from when I usually drive down here.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
me this pathway to go down that confession and that accountability and gives me that confidence of I could bring this to you because I trust you. And I also think just our relational equity has played a really huge part in our friendship.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Literally felt like I saw the face of God.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
I was like... I'm like, God is way bigger than this. It was so ginormous.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Immediately, fear of the Lord overcame me. Every time I go by a cliff, I always go, what happens if I jump? That's just always my thought. But it's because I'm like, this is so big and so massive. And it's like...
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
like i am nothing compared to this like if i were to fall down this clip like i die you know what's crazy about a thought like that because i'm pretty sure other people are like like looking over something like that it's like if you don't believe you have choice like you can literally choose to jump off of it yeah and like that's it that's done sometimes what i do too i like spit and then count how long it takes to like hit the floor sometimes i just spit one two three four five
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
No, I think it's just child in me too. I would just spit everywhere as a kid. That was me. Like in the bleachers when you watch a football, you at the top one, turn around, spit. I'm also from the country, maybe that's why.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Somebody figure I'm dropping to him. Somebody going to get a peppermint extra gum. Or was it Orbit or whatever? Yeah. I mean, I feel pleased with that. Yeah. Yeah. In Jesus name. Well, thank you for coming on.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
No, thank you for having me.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Well, this podcast is going to come out later, but we're going to get some jammies and have a party. Yes. A Christian party, not a... Right.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
You can still have a party. No, yeah. A friend's gathering. Friend's gathering. Yeah, which is fun and festive. Yeah, super fun.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
You talk about this all the more like behind the scenes, but I think the way we've committed to each other and the friendship, like I felt like you've always shown up for me in areas where I just needed people to show up and like you physically didn't have people showing up for you.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Well, we love you guys very much. And we pray that God has been glorified through this conversation and that you guys go blessed in Jesus' name.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Love you guys. Bye.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And like I was driving all the way out there to L.A., which is about three, four hours away from me, like to show up for you. And it's like it's like love actually does go the distance if you're just committed to it.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Literally, I I can talk about that all the time. I think whenever I talk about our friendship, I think of love in action.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Like literally, I hadn't ever had friendship on display like that. I'm like the first time we hung out, you were like, oh, yeah, I'll drive three hours to see you. Yeah. I was like. I was kind of one. I was like, no, something's up. Like, I don't know. What's she going to do to me? Why she want to come here so bad? This don't seem right. But the Lord was really showing me.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So this podcast is pretty much here to help you navigate those seasons and what it's like to walk in the Christian lifestyle in this day and age and in this culture. Okay. Now, we had to get that out of the way so I could get to my guest. Because I'm like, that's kind of like the roll call. We do that every episode. But y'all, this isn't just like a regular, shmegular friend.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
He's like, this is what commitment looks like immediately. And he's like, that's how I am with you the minute you gave your life to me. It's like you demonstrate the love of God so well in that area. Like just being committed, a committed friend. That's so sweet.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
even at a distance you're still three hours away like we've been friends for three years and it's like you're still three hours away distance hasn't changed right but it's like even with the distance you feel like closer than ever still yeah like so yeah I think a lot of that too is like spiritual intimacy because the reason as to why I did drive for three hours in the first place wasn't because okay I'm gonna meet up with some random girl it was also just uh
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
a leading of the holy spirit just something i knew i had to do because i knew god had something in store for me and then the moment we met all that made sense and it was just like oh god like this isn't just like a seasonal friend this is a friend you want beside me for the rest of my life yeah and so i think that's really refreshing and like how you said earlier we were on the same
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
path and i feel like we've always kind of been on the same path and i feel like even if you know there's areas where we could be different that's gonna be every friendship yeah we've always grown at the same pace like when i'm growing you're growing when yeah you down is something usually i am too it's like we we've been on the same level of things and that's been really refreshing because that allows us to sharpen one another and to bring up one another when the other person does fall yeah and we know each other's weaknesses and that's just like really beautiful yeah
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A part of your testimony, because I wanted to ask you this question. Okay. Because I was like, okay, I just want to ask you one question. We'll just flow from there. But the one question, because I feel like I could have asked you a million things, but you kind of talked about in your testimony, you rededicate your life to the Lord. You grew up, your dad was a pastor, then it became your uncle.
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Like you knew the image of Christ. What was the turning point in your life where Jesus became Lord to you and And not just like a historical figure you heard on a Sunday.
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Yeah. Honestly, the turning point, because I rededicated my life in 2020. I had grown up in the church. I think I was born in the church. My mom gave birth to me, and she started taking me to church. So I just grew up hearing about other people's faith all the time or hearing about having faith in God.
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So a lot of it was just I was being taught all this stuff, but I really believe growing up it was – It was more religious than it... I feel like it's tacky to say religious than it was relational between me and God.
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Not to discredit everything I learned because everything I learned, I still carry with me to this day because it literally helped define and it still helps build and equip my relationship with God. But I want to say the turning point was...
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not leaning on my pastor's faith and my family's faith yeah and start realizing like oh wait i have to do this alone right this is between me and god i can't lean on like my what happens when my dad can't pick me up my dad travels for work he's on the road a lot so i'm like when he's not here then who can i go to for advice it's like so i was running to i would call my uncle i'm like uncle i'm going through all this blah blah so it's like i was leaning on so much of like
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their faith that the Lord had to like crush me completely wreck me about my sin like my own sin because a lot of like what I was dealing with was self-righteousness um I thought I was good I thought I was better than everything I thought because I can quote scripture off the dome that I was cool I was solid but my lifestyle was reflecting so differently and
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And so it wasn't until 2020 when I had a lot of time to think and reflect. The Lord was like, you are an awful person in the most gentle and loving way. But I felt like Isaiah in that moment, coming face to face with God in a moment of prayer and being like, I hate myself, but not as I hate myself, but I see who I, who I am for who I am, but who I could be because of the blood of Jesus.
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Or like, oh, I go to church with this lady. Or we just know each other from social media. It's like, this is my real life, in person, all around the world, everything, my best friend. So give a round of applause for my bestie, Clarissa Rojas. Hello.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And so that's the turning point I had just being in my prayer closet with God and him showing me exactly who I am without him.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And so that is like where the turning point of that relationship happened. And yeah,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
thank god he saved me because i was literally like i know it all you can't tell me anything about christ that i don't already know and yeah blah blah so it's like and i always tell you this i tell everybody this but i'm like if you don't humble yourself god's gonna humble you yeah and that's what happened to me in that moment so yeah what did that humbling look like what like practically in that moment what was whether it was like an instance or just like a word like what was that experience of you being humbled by god or even you haven't humbled yourself at times well um
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
God humbling me was that moment. Like him showing me his glory, his goodness, and being like, you are nothing like this without me, without my blood. That was him. Sorry.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
No, you're good. I just have a question. Like follow-up question. Like where were you in your life when that happened though?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Oh, like what was I doing?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah, like what were you doing to where he had to encounter you like that?
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So I was in college. I was in my third semester of college. And I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. And I feel like everybody...
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
ask anyone who's fresh out of high school right trying to figure out what they want to do even if they say they know what they want to do they don't that yeah like it's like then i have i have my friend she just graduated she said i don't know what i want to do with my degree you hear so many people say that it's just like you know going through the motions and i didn't want to do that right i didn't want to just be like okay i'm gonna pursue this degree and then figure out what to do with it later i'm like no i want to know what you want from me now yeah
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And I think that was kind of like where I was at in my walk. I'm like, I'm confused. I don't know where I'm going. And then it made me question. I'm like, wait, have I always been lost? Yeah. I'm like, have I always been confused? Because growing up in school, I hated school because like, it felt like everybody around me knew what they wanted to do.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. All I knew is I love Jesus. That was it. All I knew is I love the word. Like, I may have had a hard time having that relationship with him, but I knew I loved this. My uncle, who grew up being my mentor and somebody who taught me the word, that's all I understood. I didn't understand math. I couldn't understand history sometimes.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
The only thing I was probably good at was English. And I'm like, I genuinely think that's God though. Well, cause it's writing. No. Yeah. I genuinely think that was God. But, um, in other areas I felt like such a failure. And so going to college and like everybody around me is like, yeah, I'm gonna pursue this. I'm gonna pursue that. I'm like, God, I don't know what you want me to pursue.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
So it felt so dry. Felt like I was deserting in a dry land, the wilderness. Like, I don't know where I'm going. I'm like looking for the water. He's promising like to flow through. And I'm like, I don't know where I'm going. Um, And, um, that's kind of where I was at when the Lord humbled me because he's like, you're lost because you're not following me.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
You're following what the world wants you to do and what the world's telling you to do. Cause I was going to counselors. Um, and at the time I was battling anxiety. So I was going to doctors all the time, trying to see if they can help me with my health and all that stuff. So when I was going to my counselors, how can I do school? Which way should I go seeking, seeking them and not seeking God.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Yeah. at all so um that was God humbling me as well in that area and then a lot of self-humbling and we see throughout scripture ways to humble yourselves is through fasting and prayer and but also just ridding yourself of pride because I thought I had everything I needed to succeed I had my counselors I had my teachers I had finances to go to school so I was like I don't need like what like
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Hello. Thank you for having me.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
why would I go to God? Like, I already know what I'm doing. Like, you know what I'm saying? There wasn't, I wasn't aware of a need that I had. So he had to humble me to the point where he's like, you need this. Yeah. You need direction. You need wisdom. You need discernment. And so, um, my uncle at the time, cause I had struggled with a fear of choking and eating and,
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It's the first time on the pod. I know. Which is weird because I feel like we should have done this sooner.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Can you talk a little bit more about that? Yeah. So, well, my first panic attack was in first grade in my bathtub. I fainted because I scared myself so badly to the point where I passed out. Mom didn't know what was going on. She's like, what? Like, you know.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
We go to the hospital and ever since first grade, all the way up until like my first semester of college, I was passing out like, I want to say like 14 times a year in and out of the hospital because I'm like passing out so much. From fear. From fear. Yeah. Like literally just from thoughts that weren't real. Yeah. Like thoughts that I'm going to die.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
It's God's timing. It's God's timing. That's what it is.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
Like all fear, all intrusive thoughts, all anxiety is it's all roots to one thing and it's dying. It's death.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
And so but I didn't know that I was in first grade. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what's going on with me.
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Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas | SavedNotSoftPodcast
if anything my parents should have known yeah but like i'm not holding that against them because then i wouldn't have the testimony of endurance and hope that i have now if i didn't go through that yeah but um like i battled with that like anxiety fear and it got rooted deeply so bad in this one instance where i was eating a bagel and i thought i was choking i did not choke but i thought i was um