Clark Fredericks

Yeah, you have to. So I read this book, Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor.

Yeah, you have to. So I read this book, Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor.

Yeah. It's like every person locked up reads it.

Yeah. It's like every person locked up reads it.

It's big in prison. Yeah.

It's big in prison. Yeah.

Yeah. And, you know, in it was a line, you know, I'll paraphrase, like, when you are faced with a situation you cannot change, you have to change yourself. And I was like, wow, like my situation, I'm facing life in prison. This may not change. I'm gonna have to change myself to adapt to this. And it was just like a light bulb. And I just read it over and over and over.

Yeah. And, you know, in it was a line, you know, I'll paraphrase, like, when you are faced with a situation you cannot change, you have to change yourself. And I was like, wow, like my situation, I'm facing life in prison. This may not change. I'm gonna have to change myself to adapt to this. And it was just like a light bulb. And I just read it over and over and over.

And then I read the book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, which was on mindfulness. You know, I scoffed at meditation or mindfulness earlier in life. You know, like that simply wasn't going to happen. And I just started putting into effect how to take back control of my mind. He gave, you know, gave you tools to take back control of your thoughts.

And then I read the book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, which was on mindfulness. You know, I scoffed at meditation or mindfulness earlier in life. You know, like that simply wasn't going to happen. And I just started putting into effect how to take back control of my mind. He gave, you know, gave you tools to take back control of your thoughts.

You know, the thoughts like 24-7 when I was locked up, you know, just like... Our minds hate the present. They want to go past or forward. So it was either going back to the abuse, back to the murder, or life in prison, life in prison, back, murder. And that was it. I was just a yo-yo with those thoughts. And then I just learned to just be in the moment, practice a mantra.

You know, the thoughts like 24-7 when I was locked up, you know, just like... Our minds hate the present. They want to go past or forward. So it was either going back to the abuse, back to the murder, or life in prison, life in prison, back, murder. And that was it. I was just a yo-yo with those thoughts. And then I just learned to just be in the moment, practice a mantra.

When I would walk, I'd be sitting in the day room and it's just chaos in there on the day room tier. And in my mind, I'm just repeating my mantra over and over and over and over and over and over, just trying to keep my mind from going to a dark place or going to the future or just... Like, right, we're going to stay right in the present here and just, you know, be present. And I did that.

When I would walk, I'd be sitting in the day room and it's just chaos in there on the day room tier. And in my mind, I'm just repeating my mantra over and over and over and over and over and over, just trying to keep my mind from going to a dark place or going to the future or just... Like, right, we're going to stay right in the present here and just, you know, be present. And I did that.

I got blessed with a five-year sentence. I took a plea deal, second-degree manslaughter. The judge gave me the minimum. He apologized on the record for having to send me to prison for a single day. Gave me the minimum. I had to go to... Newark, New Jersey to Northern State Prison right by the airport there.

I got blessed with a five-year sentence. I took a plea deal, second-degree manslaughter. The judge gave me the minimum. He apologized on the record for having to send me to prison for a single day. Gave me the minimum. I had to go to... Newark, New Jersey to Northern State Prison right by the airport there.

And my very first day there, a therapist came to my cell and she said, I can't believe you're here. I followed your case when it was on TV. And she goes, I just saw your name come across my computer and I came right over. Would you start therapy with me? I said, yeah, absolutely. And so it took me having to go to prison to get therapy for the first time in my life, which is another irony. Yeah.

And my very first day there, a therapist came to my cell and she said, I can't believe you're here. I followed your case when it was on TV. And she goes, I just saw your name come across my computer and I came right over. Would you start therapy with me? I said, yeah, absolutely. And so it took me having to go to prison to get therapy for the first time in my life, which is another irony. Yeah.

And then I joined – she ran a group class for childhood trauma. And she goes, you know, like we would have at most 10 guys in the class. She goes, every frigging inmate in here should be – every inmate has childhood trauma. You know, but guys don't address anything. You know, what was shocking to me is I'm in my cell one day and our tier ran – GED classes, which most of the tiers did.

And then I joined – she ran a group class for childhood trauma. And she goes, you know, like we would have at most 10 guys in the class. She goes, every frigging inmate in here should be – every inmate has childhood trauma. You know, but guys don't address anything. You know, what was shocking to me is I'm in my cell one day and our tier ran – GED classes, which most of the tiers did.