Clementine Breen
speaker
153 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Clementine Breen’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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I went through DBT therapy and that sort of quieted most of my psychosis. However, I was still having some of it until... DBT being? Dialectical behavioral therapy. And after completing that, I was still having some of those symptoms. But once I was fully detoxed off the testosterone, I stopped having hallucinations.
I would say it was definitely both, but I would say the cessation of the testosterone stopped the psychosis.
Okay.
discuss what had happened with your parents? I think the main reason was because I was assaulted by somebody who was also a child at the time. They were much older, but they were still a child at the time. So I think in my head, I sort of had the narrative of like, if an adult hurts you, tell another adult. But I wasn't really considering that a child's
actions could be that inappropriate where I'd have to tell somebody. But then by the time I had sort of realized what had happened, I was so ashamed and I felt like there was no way out of it or no way to tell anybody. So I just figured I could resolve it in other ways, like transitioning.
Yeah.
It still kind of eludes me in how I talk about it. Like, I just sort of got desensitized to talking about it at a certain point, which weirdly helped. But the first time, I could barely even get the words out. Were you guilty about it? I felt very guilty. Why? And especially after all of the transition and all of the things that I had done to just avoid dealing with this.
There was a lot of shame in finally coming out and saying the reason. Why were you guilty, do you think?
took place? Very little because the second we got into my history, I mean, it just came crumbling down. Like even in my surgical note for my double mastectomy, in my referral, it says that I had held a male identity since childhood, which is just not true. I was a super girly child. I did... choir, in theater, I would play dress-up, I collected dolls. I just had no sign of this until puberty.
Besides just physical discomfort with my body and just feeling disconnected from girls, there was really no sign of prior gender dysphoria.
No, they almost, it seemed like they didn't really want to talk about my childhood or as if my childhood was totally irrelevant to what was happening now. And it was just something that I hadn't seen before or my parents hadn't seen before because there really were no signs when I was a child.
How were you dressing? I was just wearing baggy clothes. It wasn't really dressing like a boy. It was just big shirts and big pants. Okay, okay, right.
Why? I think a lot of people were sort of uncomfortable with what was happening. And I also had people at the time point out how out of character this was or how like I had never behaved typically masculine before or I hadn't really expressed interest in masculine things and things like that. People brought it up to me and were very aware of how out of character it was.
Yeah.
Yeah. Or for example, I was crying all the time before the testosterone and then after I stopped crying and I just wouldn't have these fits of crying. And in my mind, I was like, oh, that means it's working. I'm getting better.
It was about three months between coming out as trans and then being seen by Dr. Olson. And Dr. Olson recommended puberty blockers immediately, but it took a few months for her to convince my parents to agree to it. Okay. What do you mean by immediately? She immediately asserted that I was definitely trans and that puberty blockers would be the right path for me. And immediately is the first...
Yeah, after the first time we had spoken for about 30 minutes. And that's 30 to 60 minutes? Yes.
My parents had definitely noticed that around puberty, I got very reserved and shy and was acting sort of different. And they definitely noticed the signs of depression. It wasn't really severe, but they noticed that it was happening. And Around that first meeting, Olson asserted that I would be at very high risk for suicide. Okay.
And that immediately got them terrified for what would happen to me.
Sure, yeah. I mean, my guidance counselor had— been the one to have this phone call with them, so I don't actually know... With the parents.
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