Commentator

With his four-year-old child in tow. I mean, that poor kid. His dad literally runs SpaceX, and Elon took him to a meeting on federal spending. Dad, are we gonna get to see the rockets? No, son, we're gonna discuss budgets because I'm a shitty dad. I mean, everything about this event was so bizarre.

Trump was sitting quietly for half an hour, retreating to his happy place, thinking about Arnold Palmer's giant doge. And who thought cloning Stephen Miller was a good idea? I mean, is it for spare parts? I mean, they look like a before and even more before picture. Okay? I mean... Okay, but all right.

Trump was sitting quietly for half an hour, retreating to his happy place, thinking about Arnold Palmer's giant doge. And who thought cloning Stephen Miller was a good idea? I mean, is it for spare parts? I mean, they look like a before and even more before picture. Okay? I mean... Okay, but all right.

Leaving aside this renaissance painting done by the dogs playing poker guy, it's good that we have Elon Musk here, because we've been watching him slashing programs and shuttering agencies for a month now, and we can finally ask Elon, why are you doing this?

Leaving aside this renaissance painting done by the dogs playing poker guy, it's good that we have Elon Musk here, because we've been watching him slashing programs and shuttering agencies for a month now, and we can finally ask Elon, why are you doing this?

Wow. Wow. I mean, you see why this guy's a genius. You don't want an unelected bureaucrat running the country. It makes a lot of sense. No questions here. I do have one question, though. Isn't that you? I mean... I mean, am I... Am I going crazy? Because it feels like I'm watching Drake sing Not Like Us at karaoke. Like, does he not know?

Wow. Wow. I mean, you see why this guy's a genius. You don't want an unelected bureaucrat running the country. It makes a lot of sense. No questions here. I do have one question, though. Isn't that you? I mean... I mean, am I... Am I going crazy? Because it feels like I'm watching Drake sing Not Like Us at karaoke. Like, does he not know?

Is having this one unaccountable bureaucrat in charge better than having those other unaccountable bureaucrats in charge? Because... because at least the others have to follow transparency laws. The only thing transparent about Doge is Elon's skin. I mean...

Is having this one unaccountable bureaucrat in charge better than having those other unaccountable bureaucrats in charge? Because... because at least the others have to follow transparency laws. The only thing transparent about Doge is Elon's skin. I mean...

His financial disclosure is being kept secret, Doge is exempt from open records laws, and when someone on Twitter merely identified some of the people who work for Doge, Elon suspended their account and said, you have committed a crime, which we tried to fact check with career officials at the FBI, but they're all working at a Panera now.

His financial disclosure is being kept secret, Doge is exempt from open records laws, and when someone on Twitter merely identified some of the people who work for Doge, Elon suspended their account and said, you have committed a crime, which we tried to fact check with career officials at the FBI, but they're all working at a Panera now.

So, Elon, I gotta tell you, I don't think you're being that transparent.

So, Elon, I gotta tell you, I don't think you're being that transparent.

Oh, well, I did the exam and what an asshole. YOU KNOW WHAT? I don't want to give you a proctology exam. I just want to know what you're doing, because another advantage of federal bureaucrats is that they can't have conflicts of interest, whereas you seem to have every conflict of interest. SpaceX has government contracts. Tesla is under government oversight. X is under government investigation.

Oh, well, I did the exam and what an asshole. YOU KNOW WHAT? I don't want to give you a proctology exam. I just want to know what you're doing, because another advantage of federal bureaucrats is that they can't have conflicts of interest, whereas you seem to have every conflict of interest. SpaceX has government contracts. Tesla is under government oversight. X is under government investigation.

And his hair plugs are being investigated by the Department of No One's Buying This. You're basically a walking conflict of interest. Is that not a huge problem?

And his hair plugs are being investigated by the Department of No One's Buying This. You're basically a walking conflict of interest. Is that not a huge problem?

Oh, good.

Oh, good.

If we see a conflict, we just need to say something. Hey, Elon, I noticed a conflict. Did that work? No? No? Nothing happened? There's no accountability and nothing matters? Great. Perfect system. Well, it. He's not going to be transparent. And he's riddled with conflicts of interest. But at least he's a genius. And the work he's going to do will be flawless.