Connell Barrett

Level five, if you're both really comfortable with each other, that's where you can be physically and non-verbally expressive, especially physical, which is a bolder move, but it can work and can be a great win-win.

And that leads us to level six, which is flirting mastery.

And my definition of flirting mastery is integration and calibration, where you understand these first five levels,

And you can integrate them together and also calibrate.

And by calibrate, I just mean you can read the room.

You can be on a date and say, oh, you know what?

I've been bantering, which is my sweet spot, but it's just not vibing with her.

And then you could switch over to emotional connection and find out, oh, you know what?

She's not looking to banter and crack jokes all night.

She just wants to talk about things we have in common and share things we feel the same way about.

I remember a night when I had a really nice understanding realizing I had hit level six.

It's before I became a dating coach, but I'd gotten really good at this.

I dated a woman.

I will call her Amanda.

Not her real name, but I'll call her Amanda.

She did improv at the place in New York City where I used to do a lot of improv.

And we had a first date and I remember I'd known a lot of moves at that point, but I hadn't really understood how to calibrate and sort of integrate them, put them all together.

And I remember she was not a very physically touchy person.

I did a couple of quote unquote physical moves that my coaches had taught me and I could feel they didn't really land with her.

But I read that.