Connell Barrett

I wrote a book about it.

I felt like I just wasn't what women wanted.

I was just too shy, too nerdy, too something, not enough.

And if this resonates with you, then maybe you're realizing that what stops you isn't the words that you use.

What stops you is that little voice that says, why would she want me to approach her?

Women like that just aren't into me.

And don't get me wrong.

The what to say method works amazingly.

as I've already laid out for you.

Otherwise, I wouldn't give it to you.

I want to give away my best teaching advice here on the podcast.

But if you're like a lot of guys, it still won't get you to actually go approach that beautiful woman.

Because the real thing that's freezing you up and getting in the way, it's not the words.

It's the fear of rejection and how small and unattractive that you fear rejection will make you feel.

And that's not something I can fix here in a 20-minute podcast.

I wish I could.

This takes real work.

And I know this because the first night I ever went out to approach women, before I talked to the first woman of my entire life to approach her, I had a full-on panic attack in the men's bathroom stall at the Gansevoort Hotel rooftop bar, 2009.

Panic attack, shaking, puking in the men's room stall.

I had the openers ready, but I was terrified, terrified that women wouldn't want to be with me.