I Was That Creepy Guy: 5 Brutal Mistakes That Pushed Women Away
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What are the five mistakes that can make a man seem creepy to women?
if I could go back and do it over again, sure, I'd make one or two moves. But all I would do is think, how can I make Katie feel comfortable while being me?
Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I am your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I'm a dating coach. I help men like you who struggle with flirting know exactly what to say, how to say it, so that you can attract a great girlfriend. And we do this by being authentic. not using sketchy pickup artist tricks. And speaking of sketchy pickup artist tricks and being authentic or inauthentic, today's episode, I'm going to be really open with you. I want to tell you five times I was creepy AF with women. Five times. I creeped women out so that you can avoid making these creepy mistakes that I made in the past. My journey with learning how to talk to women, how to approach, how to connect, it goes back 20 years, 21 years actually.
So I've got a lot of stories. So I'm going to share five moments when I creeped women out. Unintentionally, but it happened. Or I was just weird. And They all have a theme. Every single story I'm about to share with you, I wasn't really being me. I wasn't being the true, core, authentic Connell. I was trying to figure out what works. I was trying to do what worked, even if it meant being somebody I wasn't. And that is a losing proposition. So let's get to it. Here are five stories I think will be entertaining and also enlightening so you can learn from my many mistakes. Because the reason I became a dating coach is I had every problem there was to have. Didn't know what to say. Had to approach anxiety. struggled.
I just felt like women didn't want me. So I was trying to figure out what worked. So here we go. The first story, I call this my be an asshole phase. I worked with a couple different, many different coaches over the years. And I worked with a couple of old school pickup artist guys. And at one point I was really struggling. I just couldn't get the kind of approaching success and confidence I wanted. And one of my coaches was who is not an inherently sketchy, creepy person, nevertheless gave me really bad advice. He said, Connell, you're too nice. Go out for a month and just be a dick. Be a bit of a dick to women. Women like that. That kind of made sense. I didn't like the sound of it, but I said, all right, whatever my coach says, I'm going to do it within reason.
So I went out for a couple of weeks, mainly approaching. And I went out one night. I remember these two or three women were dancing on the dance floor. And I said, okay, what is a jerky alpha thing to say? And I said, hey, you, no dancing. This is a no dancing zone. And they looked at me like I was an alien. And a couple nights later, I'm at a different venue. And I'm being really a real cocky jerk. Now, I have a smart-ass side. I have a cheeky side. But I'm also a pretty big sweetheart, I like to think. Yet I was just going overboard with the cocky, badass, fake alpha behavior. And I was just saying jerky things to a group of three women. And one of the three women, about five minutes into my interaction with them, came over and came up from behind me.
I was so annoying and so obnoxious that she poured a pitcher of ice water down my shirt. A well-deserved pitcher of ice water down my shirt. And so... That was the time I said, you know what? Not only does this not work, I felt like I was wearing an ill-fitting suit. I felt like I was not being me. And so the big lesson I learned was being some fake alpha, that's really creepy to women. That's not attractive. one thing to be confident it's one thing to be certain in yourself but it's it's another thing to be an obnoxious jerk and that's what i learned so whoever you are a young woman from the past who poured that ice water down my shirt i deserved it thank you for the lesson and anyway i gave up i gave up the whole fake alpha be a jerk thing for good at that point and um
Another story for another episode. I had one of the best nights of my life a week later when I just fully leaned into being myself and not putting on that mask.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What are the five mistakes that can make a man seem creepy to women?
0:00–7:34
2
How did trying to be a jerk backfire in a social setting?
7:34–15:34
3
What lesson was learned from a date where the guest was overly cocky?
15:34–23:55
4
Why is making half-hearted romantic gestures often perceived as creepy?
23:55–26:38
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
7 Texting Mistakes that Make Women Flake Before the First Date (and 7 Easy Fixes)
8 Flirty Things to Say (and Not to Say) When You Freeze Up Around Women
The 10 Most Surprisingly Sexy Things to Say on a First Date
The 7 Lies that Keep You From Approaching—and 7 Tips to Confidently Talk to Women Anywhere
The 10 Texting Commandments: How to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
21 Flirty Ways to Make Her Feel Authentic Attraction (How to Escape the Friend Zone, Part 2)