Craig Ferguson

Stand-up comedy didn't exist in Britain then. It was only potatoes. That's all about it. And so I went out on the stage. I wore a kilt because I thought that would be funny and good. I was wearing a kilt and I tried to tell jokes and stuff.

And then the girls, it was girls at the front that were trying to look up my kilt. I was going like that. I was so scared. My knees were knocking, shaking. And they started to, his knees are knocking, his knees are knocking. And then the whole fucking venue. Those British get heckled. All these Cockney punks are like, his knees are knocking, his knees are knocking, his knees are knocking.

And then the girls, it was girls at the front that were trying to look up my kilt. I was going like that. I was so scared. My knees were knocking, shaking. And they started to, his knees are knocking, his knees are knocking. And then the whole fucking venue. Those British get heckled. All these Cockney punks are like, his knees are knocking, his knees are knocking, his knees are knocking.

And then the girls, it was girls at the front that were trying to look up my kilt. I was going like that. I was so scared. My knees were knocking, shaking. And they started to, his knees are knocking, his knees are knocking. And then the whole fucking venue. Those British get heckled. All these Cockney punks are like, his knees are knocking, his knees are knocking, his knees are knocking.

But you know the weird thing, and this is how you know you're a fucking stand-up, because I came off and I went, I've got to do that again. I think I got him at the end.

But you know the weird thing, and this is how you know you're a fucking stand-up, because I came off and I went, I've got to do that again. I think I got him at the end.

But you know the weird thing, and this is how you know you're a fucking stand-up, because I came off and I went, I've got to do that again. I think I got him at the end.

I was nearly there.

I was nearly there.

I was nearly there.

I'll start with the knee-knocking. That was my problem.

I'll start with the knee-knocking. That was my problem.

I'll start with the knee-knocking. That was my problem.

No, neither really. I mean, I had an okay career there. I was doing all right. I was getting like parts and shows and I was doing stand-up.

No, neither really. I mean, I had an okay career there. I was doing all right. I was getting like parts and shows and I was doing stand-up.

No, neither really. I mean, I had an okay career there. I was doing all right. I was getting like parts and shows and I was doing stand-up.

A little of both.

A little of both.

A little of both.

No. Were you home? I was in Scotland until I was about 24, 25. Okay. And then the girl that we got married, we got divorced. I understand. At 24. So I moved down to London when I was about 24. I was still drinking a lot.