Craig Ferguson

You've got to listen to me here about sleeping, because this is fucking important. Sleep is important to me. Of course. And during the pandemic, actually, during COVID, I was just ordering stuff online because there's nothing else to do. So I order a pair of shorty, short silk pajamas. Whoa. I'm telling you, man, I have taken every drug I've heard of. Fuck them all. Silk pajamas.

That's the way to go. Put down the Oxycontin and get some silk pajamas.

That's the way to go. Put down the Oxycontin and get some silk pajamas.

That's the way to go. Put down the Oxycontin and get some silk pajamas.

Talk about the duality of man. That would be like a speedball.

Talk about the duality of man. That would be like a speedball.

Talk about the duality of man. That would be like a speedball.

The first tattoo was actually late because my father hated tattoos. He thought that people should not have tattoos. So when my father died, I thought, what better way to remember a man who hated tattoos to get a tattoo? The Celtic paradox. So I got the family crest tattooed there.

The first tattoo was actually late because my father hated tattoos. He thought that people should not have tattoos. So when my father died, I thought, what better way to remember a man who hated tattoos to get a tattoo? The Celtic paradox. So I got the family crest tattooed there.

The first tattoo was actually late because my father hated tattoos. He thought that people should not have tattoos. So when my father died, I thought, what better way to remember a man who hated tattoos to get a tattoo? The Celtic paradox. So I got the family crest tattooed there.

The family name, something. So my father died, and then I didn't think about it for a while. And then about a few years later, my mom died. And I was very sad, obviously. And then a few months after my mama died, I started to kind of hear her in my head like, Oh, you got a tattoo for your father, but you don't get a tattoo for your mother. So I had to get my mother tattooed there.

The family name, something. So my father died, and then I didn't think about it for a while. And then about a few years later, my mom died. And I was very sad, obviously. And then a few months after my mama died, I started to kind of hear her in my head like, Oh, you got a tattoo for your father, but you don't get a tattoo for your mother. So I had to get my mother tattooed there.

The family name, something. So my father died, and then I didn't think about it for a while. And then about a few years later, my mom died. And I was very sad, obviously. And then a few months after my mama died, I started to kind of hear her in my head like, Oh, you got a tattoo for your father, but you don't get a tattoo for your mother. So I had to get my mother tattooed there.

But as I'm getting this tattoo of my mother's family on here, the guy who's giving me the ink says, you know, it's unlucky to have an even number of tattoos. I'm like, oh, I didn't know that. He said, so you better get a third. I'm like, oh, okay. And I'd recently become an American citizen. So I thought, well, give me this one here. Well, you got the snake. Yeah. Damn, dude. This guy's in it.

But as I'm getting this tattoo of my mother's family on here, the guy who's giving me the ink says, you know, it's unlucky to have an even number of tattoos. I'm like, oh, I didn't know that. He said, so you better get a third. I'm like, oh, okay. And I'd recently become an American citizen. So I thought, well, give me this one here. Well, you got the snake. Yeah. Damn, dude. This guy's in it.

But as I'm getting this tattoo of my mother's family on here, the guy who's giving me the ink says, you know, it's unlucky to have an even number of tattoos. I'm like, oh, I didn't know that. He said, so you better get a third. I'm like, oh, okay. And I'd recently become an American citizen. So I thought, well, give me this one here. Well, you got the snake. Yeah. Damn, dude. This guy's in it.

Yeah. So I have to, so I get through. And then after that, it's fucking crazy. But when I get, I don't know if, are you guys inked? Nothing, no. Right, so. I feel like a pussy. Yeah, no shit.

Yeah. So I have to, so I get through. And then after that, it's fucking crazy. But when I get, I don't know if, are you guys inked? Nothing, no. Right, so. I feel like a pussy. Yeah, no shit.

Yeah. So I have to, so I get through. And then after that, it's fucking crazy. But when I get, I don't know if, are you guys inked? Nothing, no. Right, so. I feel like a pussy. Yeah, no shit.

Fuck. You know, a few years ago, that would have been true. Now, if you've got ink, it probably means you're a fucking orthodontist or something. Yeah. But down here, that's the most hurty part of getting a tattoo I've ever had. Apparently, this is sore too, but I don't know. Yeah, here the ribs are bad. Okay. But this was very, very hurty. Don't do it.