Dalia Feldheim
Appearances
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
There's no such thing as a masculine brain or a feminine brain. We all have masculine leadership traits and feminine leadership traits. The issue is that the business world has collapsed into wounded masculine power over people versus power with people. So we feel like we either need to behave like that or we sink into our wounded feminine being defensive, etc.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And I learned you can't change someone that doesn't want to change, right? So, you know, at the beginning of that third year, I realized, whoa, I need to leave this toxic environment, but not before I deliver everything I committed because I committed to the CEO and I always deliver on my commitment.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So I said, okay, I'm going to stay until the end of the year and I'm going to go back to my strengths. I don't care if he likes them or doesn't like them. So my strengths is people and creativity. And I said, I'm going to bring creativity even to a category. It was washing machines in that sense, right?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And together with the team, we created a campaign that was very data-driven, but also very creative. And that won an Effie Award. The first time this brand won an Effie Award for business results and creativity. And that's when I realized, you know, I found back my mojo and it was time to move on.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And I can tell you, you know, I always say if it happened to me, it can happen to anyone, you know, because I used to be head of the Women's Network for P&G and not a pushover. I kind of stand up. But the more resilient I became, the more toxic he became. And I think, you know, I ended up doing my research on it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So when I studied in INSEAD, I did the research, his research, and I wanted to understand, can you coach yourself out of a toxic environment? That was my research question. And my answer was yes and no. So yes, yes. You can build resilience. And the Dare to Lead Like a Girl is about my resilience model. I call it 5P. I talked about purpose. There's all around perspective or perseverance.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
There's physical power, people, and positivity. So that's the model. However, that works for a general hardship or general company. I concluded that when you work for a toxic environment, there really is only one strategy. And that is zero tolerance. Zero, right? You with your two pages, you know, that's the zero tolerance. Zero. I was too empathetic. I kept on thinking I can change.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Instead of saying, I'm sorry, you won't talk to me like that. I'm going to leave now and come back when you're ready to talk to me. Or no, I'm not leaving, right? So, you know, this is what I work today with women. Sometimes we are...
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
you know, dare to lead like a girl is being in empathy, of course, but sometimes you need to kind of step into your positive masculine, which is your assertive, you know, Muhammad Ali says, float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, right? So that's kind of one thing that I learned that yes, You should be bringing empathy into the workplace. It's a huge advantage of women versus men.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And it's in high demand. The world is crashing because of lack of empathy. We see it all around. We see it in research. University students that finish, they did research and found that their empathy level is 40% lower than university students 30 years ago. It's insane. Wow. That is insane.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And it's enough to see how teenagers, you have a 15 year old, I have a 19 and a 18 year old and, you know, just closing off with a girlfriend over text. He never did that, but his friend did. I told him, if you ever do that, you, you know, you have the tough conversation and they, and they don't have the tough conversations and they don't have the live conversations.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And we're seeing that in the workplace and we're losing empathy, you know, around, I don't want to get into, you know, what we're seeing some of the, other dimensions in the US and around the world. But when I talk back about the corporate world, the way we've been leading until now is crashing. It's not working.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
The more masculine command and control, especially when teams are virtual, it's just failing. 85% of employees are unengaged in the workplace. 20% are toxic. They hate their work and they're determined to make everyone else suffer as well. One in four experience work-related anxiety. So we're seeing, you know, the corporate world is questioned and the reality with the great resignation is there.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And, you know, there was research that just came out to try and understand the great resignation. And they found, interestingly, they expected, you know, the reasons to be, you know, pay or burnout. And they found the number one driver of the great resignation was toxic environments. So there you go. Wow.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Exactly. And I keep on saying, like, if it happens to my kids, stay six months. Okay. You know, because I think if I would have left immediately, you know, try to change things. Sometimes, you know, I did have challenging bosses in the past. And I was actually, one of them told me, you're the only one that gave me direct feedback.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
I kind of had a reputation of managing an app really well because I'm direct, because I really care, right? And I heard of one strategy, by the way, you would love it. I heard of one strategy that really worked when a lady came into a toxic boss and she actually dealt with it head on. She said, listen, this is what I hear about you. I don't believe it's true, but that's your equity.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And I'm here determined to help you change that. And it worked for her. And the two of them partnered. So I am saying, you know, if the boss is ready to change, right? That can be an amazing experience. So give it a try, but you need to really give it six months maximum. Because if you're asked to change beyond your values, beyond who you are, and that's what I felt. I was like suffocated.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
I, you know, I was asked to leave my heart and my art in the doorway, right? That's wrong. That's when you can't bring your full self to the workplace, you're not in the right place for you. And that's something I hope I realized earlier. But I guess, you know, going through that is why I'm here today, why I wrote the book, why I'm trying to help, you know, other leaders.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
A lot of it is lack of awareness. A lot of it is skill because we can't teach ourselves to become more resilient. We can teach ourselves to be happier. Actually, you know, in the book, I have this whole model and worksheets on each one on them. And it has been proven that you can teach yourself to be happier. So I think that's an important part of growth, that when it's really toxic,
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And you are asked to change beyond your value. That is when it's zero tolerance and very fast. You let things going on. Ah, it's okay. You become a frog in boiling water. And when I interviewed for my research, 10 of the people I researched out of 15 talked about being a frog in boiling water, the same sentence. So there's something about that, right? You need to be careful.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
You need to react fast. If it doesn't make you feel comfortable, it's wrong. And that's it. You need to stop it in the bud.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
OK, so the first one, as I mentioned, is focus on your strengths. If you're in a workplace where you are not able to bring your strengths to work every single day, you're not in the right place. And we know that. We know people that operate from strengths are two times more likely to succeed. And yes, we also know that only 17% of managers said they bring to life their strengths every day.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So that would be the number one. If you only remember one thing from today, it's operate from strengths. You know, that's where you find your passion for your work. The second is really having a growth mindset. Having a growth mindset is asking for directions, okay? Is learning to fail or failing to learn. Failing is good. It's okay. It builds resilience, okay? So don't carry it as a badge.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
It doesn't mean you're a failure. It just means you failed some specific skill that you still need to acquire. So the more you can develop a growth mindset, the more you can grow. The third element, and really an important one, especially for women, is self-care. And I talk about, you know, the physical dimension, right? Taking time to breathe, taking time to eat properly.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
We have more neurons in our gut than anywhere else. Taking time to sleep, recover, digitally detox. Okay, this is a big one these days. Working from home is insane when we don't shut off. And Boston Group Consulting did this amazing research where they forced employees to take an afternoon a week of digital detox and they saw productivity go up by 74%. Wow.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Exactly. And I'm actually working with a company here that are working on creating an automatic like shutdown of the email between 6 p.m. and 9. So you can write if you want, but it won't get sent to anyone. So anyway, digitally detoxing is really important. The fourth dimension and probably the most important.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
OK, and if you want to remember one other important thing from today, do you know what the number one driver of happiness at work is? Any guesses? People, the people around you. Okay, the quality of our life is the quality of our relationship. And also at work, they did research and do you have a best friend at work? Or do you have best friends at work?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Those were question number one and number two, determining your happiness. And I know it's harder today when sometimes we're remotely or work in remote teams, but investing in getting to know your colleagues as people, as human beings. I mean, I remember my days, right? We used to go rollerblading in the parking and water skiing and bringing our husbands and children. And it's so, so important.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So really creating that bond where you know someone very deeply in your workplace, that's kind of critical. And then the fifth one I talk about is positivity. And when I say positivity, it's not about being happy, happy all the time. That's really important, okay? There's no such thing of being happy. It's really the importance of accepting our negative emotions.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
My professor, Tal Ben-Shachar, calls it the permission to be human. Because who doesn't have sad emotions? Psychopaths or dead people, right? So if you're sad, that's good news. So I think the first thing is really to realize it's okay not to be okay. As a leader, you know, understanding, making space for your people to grieve, to take the time
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Sometimes we're in a low space and we just need the time for that. And then as a leader, there's something that's called the upward spiral of positivity. Once you accept the negative emotions, okay, I am frustrated. I am sad. I am disappointed. You name them, you tame them. Then you can start looking at how you build hope. how you build gratitude.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Gratitude is really focusing on what we have versus what we don't have. And, you know, that's another super, super simple strategy that's proven, you know, spending five minutes a day in a state of gratitude completely alters your well-being. So, you know, I have in my bathroom a little sticker that says gratitude.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And every time I brush my teeth, I spend like those three minutes or two minutes, you know, just saying what I'm grateful for and really recognizing it's not reaching the goals. your goals that makes you happy. It's important to realize that. Setting goals is really important. I'm a very goal-oriented person.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
But it's not reaching the goals that will make you happy because you just reach the summit and then you see the next summit, right? It's this climb towards those goals. It's the progress that you're making. So take a moment to, you know, see the view. I always say, have an idea of where you're heading, but don't forget to enjoy the view on the way. And that's key.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So, you know, purpose and strengths, perseverance and growth mindset, physical wellness, which is all around taking care of yourself, putting your mask, your oxygen mask, so you can take care of others, the importance of people and getting to know them as human beings, and then positivity, which is all around health. accepting negative emotions and then looking into gratitude.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
It sounds to me so massive. So I started my career at Procter & Gamble. And very early on, I kind of started on femcare, feminine care, so pads, tampons. And I'll tell you, I think it was six months into the role that I realized I'm not in the business of selling pads. I'm in the business of women empowerment. And, you know, it was really a magical moment. I can tell you a little bit about it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So there's quite a bit that we can do, as you can see. Right. And it's actually a beautiful journey. So I've been on this journey of positive psychology. And I and as I mentioned, I realized that my intuition about leadership is grounded in research and there to lead like a girl is it's a provocation. there's no such thing as a masculine brain or a feminine brain. Okay.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
We all have masculine leadership traits and feminine leadership traits. The issue is that the business world has collapsed into wounded masculine power over people versus power with people. So we feel like we either need to behave like that, or we sink into our wounded feminine being defensive, et cetera. And I think
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
What I'm provoking is for all leaders to connect to those more historically feminine traits like empathy, intuition, teamwork, you know, all these five P's that I mentioned in order to balance out the world and basically to humanize the workplace. And we're seeing if we will humanize the workplace, everyone wins.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Oh, everywhere. I mean, it's Amazon, Barnes & Noble. I mean, all the indie stores. Just look there to Lead Like a Girl, Dalia Feldheim. And I will mention that I decided to dedicate all profit to women causes around the world. So I have a Lead Like a Girl school in India. And, you know, I teach Lead Like a Girl programs across the globe.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So I've decided, you know, let's give back exactly with that spirit. And I do help that, first of all, you know, it will help women and men. And I can tell you, I'll just finish with this funny story as an anecdote. I had... Women call me to say thank you that they decided to step up, to dare to do something.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
I had men calling me, you know, I talk about emotions and the importance of emotions that recognize, you know, a woman cried in their office and they suddenly had a, what to answer them. They said, wow, I see you're really passionate. How can I help? Right? But the most craziest call is I got a guy in Australia who called me and he said, Dalia, I watched your TED talk.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
I just wanted to tell you, I'm a reformed asshole. I want to change. What do I do? So that's incredible. I even added into the book. If you go onto my website, if you have a boss that may enjoy reading the book, I'm going to send a hundred books a year free anonymously because I am on a mission. I am on a mission to humanize the workplace. And I think we know the world needs it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
We know employees are dying and crying, right? With stress and burnout and, And we know we have a way of turning it around. So that's why I feel really strongly about the mission of spreading how to lead like a girl.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
I mean, we were in India and we were doing in-home visits and I walk in to talk with the mom and the daughter and the daughter's sitting on the floor. The mom comes in with drinks and then she kind of offers the daughter on the floor and like metal plates. And throughout the whole interview, she was sitting on the floor, aunts and uncles came in.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And I think what I'm provoking is for all leaders to connect to those more historically feminine traits like empathy, intuition, teamwork, in order to balance out the world and to humanize the workplace.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And I, for a moment, I noticed this sad look on her face. And, you know, when we went out, I'm like, what was that all about? And my agency told me, well, she's on her period. And I'm like, so what? And she said, well, in India, we have all this myths about periods. We believe women are impure. So they're not allowed to sit with us or go into the kitchen or go to prayer areas.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And in most cases, they sit or sleep on the floor. And yeah, you're going like that. And I kind of, how common is that? And she said, whoa, you know, it's quite common. And then she kind of jokingly said, you know, we even believe a woman on a period, if she touches pickles, she'll make them go sour. And I can tell you, Heather, that night I couldn't sleep.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
I just had the girl's sad look on the face. And I went to the agency the next morning. I'm like, I couldn't sleep. She said, yeah, me too. I'm like, we need to do something about it, right? We need to use the brand voice to make an impact, you know, to make a difference. So basically we, you know, I said, I'm a foreigner and this is cultural, so I'll leave it with you.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And we worked through 12 months and then we came out with a campaign called I Dared, I Touched the Pickle. So it was like using humor to bring about the issue that became the most viral ad of the year in India in 2014. Ted talks about it, et cetera. And that was the moment, and I'm very proud of a lot of things, but that was the moment that, wow, we can make a big difference.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And then a year later, we decided to do the same on a global level and we changed the brief. And it's actually my president who said, you know, she was telling the story of how a daughter was about to play basketball. And she said, mom, I can't, I'm on my period. And she says, you go out there and you play like a girl. And the agency loved it so much.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And they created the iconic, always like a girl. And I always say, I can't take credit for it because it's the agency who created it. I guess it's You know, our brief inspired that. But when I saw it, I was like, wow, this is what I've been working for for 15 years. And the campaign went on to, you know, change lives and really reclaim that phrase like a girl to mean be proud to be who you are.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Right. Because, you know, when we ask a young girl what it means to run like a girl, she says, what do you mean? It means run as fast as you can. And suddenly in socialization, it becomes an insult. So, you know, that's what we wanted to do. We wanted to reclaim that phrase.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And that's what I'm trying to do now because two decades in the corporate world, I believe it's time to reclaim the phrase like a girl once more in the world of leadership. So, you know, I'm trying to use all my learnings from the corporate world and, you know, bring them back into kind of helping men and women, you know, lead from the heart. That's the essence of it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Yeah, I think, you know, and I do a lot of find your purpose workshop. That's, you know, I do a lot of leadership development in companies. And the one I love the most is the find your purpose. I go really deep into their own stories to find what they're passionate about and how they can create this magic links between their strengths, their passion areas, and then what the world needs.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And you will be surprised. And it's not just brands. It's any job that you're doing, right? It's not a job if you bring your heart into the work. So the first dimension of leading like a girl is leading with purpose, which is finding what you're good at, what you're passionate about, and how you can bring it to life and aid what the world needs. And you'll be surprised.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
I mean, CEOs tell me, oh, I'm scared they will do and they will leave and live in the Himalayas. And I tell them, no. I mean, there's a lot that can be done within these big companies Right. To bring out and it unleashes so much passion that, you know, that's when you create really magic. You take your strengths from good to great. So I'm a huge, huge believer.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And that's my first chapter actually in the book is leading with purpose.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So it's a process. I mean, you can go through on your own. I actually put the whole process. I tried for the book to be very practical because I'm a very practical person. So I combined three things. I combined storytelling because once a marketeer, always a marketeer, right? And I feel when you speak from the heart, you know, you reach the heart, right? So
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
storytelling is a big deal and that makes everything relevant. And then the second dimension is science. And I use the science of positive psychology. I'll get to that in a bit. But when I decided to leave the marketing corporate world, I actually went to study and I studied the positive psychology and organizational psychology.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And when I studied positive psychology, I kind of realized, wow, everything I believed about leadership is grounded in research. So when I go to companies today and I talk about happiness in the workplace or purpose, everything is grounded in research. Happier people are more productive. People that have a purpose have stronger resilience, have stronger relationships, have etc. So
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
that's key so there's storytelling there's the science element and I bring a lot of research and kind of scientific facts and then each chapter has a practical part for it and you know the chapter around finding your purpose has a whole journey and the journey I believe you know and it's also kind of I'm building on Simon Sinek and a lot of work that I've done in INSEAD but your purpose comes from your heritage story your ups and down and when you analyze your own life
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
the ups and downs in your life, you actually find the red thread. And that red thread is kind of your hint to what. So I always knew that I was about people empowerment. I happened to be a marketing director, but it was all about people empowerment, whether in the campaigns I did or the teams I built, et cetera. And that's why I, 17 years in P&G, I thrived because I was completely on purpose.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
It was the last three years when my career reached the lowest point when I wasn't allowed to bring to life my strengths, that's when I kind of shrunk. And that's where I talk a little bit about the importance of, you know, how do you deal with a challenging situation?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So 17 years after working for P&G, I left and I took a role as CMO, Chief Marketing Officer for Asia. Great company. I love the CEO. I love the global CMO. I thought I landed my dream job, right? One week into the job, or maybe one month into the job, I got a new boss who was the local CEO. And Heather, it took me a week to realize that him and I were fire and water, right?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So I'm all about creativity and people. And he was all about numbers and scorecard and ROI. And most days the culture felt like ROI or you die. He told me once, I'm not going to tell you what you're good at. It's a waste of time. I'm only going to focus on what you need to fix. Anyone who comes from marketing would appreciate this. But then he says to me, Dalia, there's no art in marketing.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
It's only science. You just didn't get it yet, right? Right. So you see the face. I felt like it was a dagger right into the heart. But anyway, him and I were like a match made in hell. But one day, you know, I think it was like a few months into the role. I got summoned into his office. Okay. Now, I'm a C-suite woman. I was the only C-suite on his team. And he starts giving me feedback.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
And I love feedback, okay? In P&G, we used to call it tough love feedback. I'm very direct. I love you to say, don't sugarcoat. Tell me exactly how it is. But tough love, it needs to come from a position of care, right? That day, there was no love. It was just really humiliating, denigrating. And I'm holding it in. I'm a C-suite woman. But then he starts insulting my team.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Like, really, very personal. You know, I was getting so frustrated, right? Because it was so unfair. And when I get frustrated, I tear. He saw the tear in my eye and he smiled at me and he gave me a box of tissues. And I had this warm, fuzzy feeling for a moment. But then I lifted my eyes and I saw something weird in his smile. And he turned around that tissue box and I couldn't believe my eyes.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
On the other side of that tissue box was a handmade sticker he prepared in advance for which read Dahlia's Tissue Box. This is unbelievable. I can't even believe this is a true story. This is how crazy this is. It's crazy. I reacted like that. I was like, are you kidding me? With the little self-esteem I had left. And he just sat back and he's like, Dalia, stop being so emotional.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
It's just boy banter. I know you have a sense of humor and I can tell you the interesting thing, right? So I had this amazing career, 17 years. I was one rated, top rated the whole time. And suddenly- You know, I realized why, you know, looking back, all my strengths were not only not appreciated, but they were denigrated. I was too good with my people, right?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
I was too creative, which is not process enough. In one stage, even kind of there, we got feedback that were too negative as a leadership team. And I raised my hand and I said, hey, I'm studying positive psychology. I'm happy to do some programs. And he's like, oh, that won't be needed, Miss Kumbaya.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
I can tell you, I learned so much from what not to do. And I never wish this on anyone because seriously, Heather, from a super confident person, I started losing my, my mojo. I was literally, you know, the first year I still tried to kind of fight and give feedback. And of course I told HR and they just kind of, you know, Didn't do much, not enough about it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
I mean, they did in the end, but it was too slow. Second year, I kind of flight, I tried to avoid, I brought kind of a data scientist to give him all he needed, right? But I realized at the end of that year, I literally fell physically sick. I realized I left my heart and my art at the doorway.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
So beginning of year three, what happened, what saved me in a way, because I was determined not to leave. I'm a fighter. I was a gymnast. I'm like, I'm not going to quit. You know, I was the main breadwinner at that time. So I'm like, he should quit. I'm not going to quit. I love what I was doing. So I was like determined to stay, right? Yeah.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
Third year, what happened is I went to a P&G alumni, so my previous company. And when I walked in, that was the wake up call. I plant myself in the chair and I said, whoa, you know, this is what culture should look like. I've been a frog in boiling water because you know how it goes. And I spoke sometimes with even domestic violence. It was very similar. I kept on thinking I can change