Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Secret To OWNING Your Power With Dalia Feldheim Founder of Uppiness & Flow Leadership Consultancy
14 Nov 2024
Chapter 1: What are the key feminine leadership traits?
There's no such thing as a masculine brain or a feminine brain. We all have masculine leadership traits and feminine leadership traits. The issue is that the business world has collapsed into wounded masculine power over people versus power with people. So we feel like we either need to behave like that or we sink into our wounded feminine being defensive, etc.
And I think what I'm provoking is for all leaders to connect to those more historically feminine traits like empathy, intuition, teamwork, in order to balance out the world and to humanize the workplace.
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Today, we've got Dahlia Feldheim, founder of Flow Leadership Consultancy. She's drawing on her own extensive corporate leadership experience and passion for championing others to enable organizations to promote an authentic, happy, and psychologically safe working culture. Imagine that.
Before founding Flow Leadership, Dahlia spent over two decades as a C-suite global marketing exec at Procter & Gamble, where she led work on some of the world's most iconic ad campaigns, two of them being Tampax Mother Nature and the iconic Always Like a Girl, ranked Forbes' most influential campaign of the decade. That's incredible.
Dahlia holds an executive master's degree in consulting and coaching for change from INSEAD Business School, organizational psychology, along with a happiness facilitator diploma from the Happiness Studies Academy in partnership with Miami University. She's on a mission to share her insights and learning success and struggles to help shape the new generation of leaders.
She teaches the science of happiness and resilience, and she's an adjunct professor. She's so much more. Dahlia, thank you so much for being here today. Thank you so much for having me. I'm super, super happy to be in here. Thank you.
Oh, it's so exciting. Oh, my gosh. So, you know, the work that you're doing, as we were talking about offline, very similar. Our backgrounds are similar and different. But listen, I don't have some of these iconic corporate America moments like you do. I want to dig into just from a curiosity perspective. I mean, the like a girl. I mean, where did this all come from?
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Chapter 2: How can leaders empower themselves and others?
So it's a process. I mean, you can go through on your own. I actually put the whole process. I tried for the book to be very practical because I'm a very practical person. So I combined three things. I combined storytelling because once a marketeer, always a marketeer, right? And I feel when you speak from the heart, you know, you reach the heart, right? So
storytelling is a big deal and that makes everything relevant. And then the second dimension is science. And I use the science of positive psychology. I'll get to that in a bit. But when I decided to leave the marketing corporate world, I actually went to study and I studied the positive psychology and organizational psychology.
And when I studied positive psychology, I kind of realized, wow, everything I believed about leadership is grounded in research. So when I go to companies today and I talk about happiness in the workplace or purpose, everything is grounded in research. Happier people are more productive. People that have a purpose have stronger resilience, have stronger relationships, have etc. So
that's key so there's storytelling there's the science element and I bring a lot of research and kind of scientific facts and then each chapter has a practical part for it and you know the chapter around finding your purpose has a whole journey and the journey I believe you know and it's also kind of I'm building on Simon Sinek and a lot of work that I've done in INSEAD but your purpose comes from your heritage story your ups and down and when you analyze your own life
the ups and downs in your life, you actually find the red thread. And that red thread is kind of your hint to what. So I always knew that I was about people empowerment. I happened to be a marketing director, but it was all about people empowerment, whether in the campaigns I did or the teams I built, et cetera. And that's why I, 17 years in P&G, I thrived because I was completely on purpose.
It was the last three years when my career reached the lowest point when I wasn't allowed to bring to life my strengths, that's when I kind of shrunk. And that's where I talk a little bit about the importance of, you know, how do you deal with a challenging situation?
Let's get into that because, you know, I love that story because I live that story, too. So I want to dig into yours. I want to get to that tough moment.
So 17 years after working for P&G, I left and I took a role as CMO, Chief Marketing Officer for Asia. Great company. I love the CEO. I love the global CMO. I thought I landed my dream job, right? One week into the job, or maybe one month into the job, I got a new boss who was the local CEO. And Heather, it took me a week to realize that him and I were fire and water, right?
So I'm all about creativity and people. And he was all about numbers and scorecard and ROI. And most days the culture felt like ROI or you die. He told me once, I'm not going to tell you what you're good at. It's a waste of time. I'm only going to focus on what you need to fix. Anyone who comes from marketing would appreciate this. But then he says to me, Dalia, there's no art in marketing.
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Chapter 6: How can organizations promote a psychologically safe workplace?
A lot of it is lack of awareness. A lot of it is skill because we can't teach ourselves to become more resilient. We can teach ourselves to be happier. Actually, you know, in the book, I have this whole model and worksheets on each one on them. And it has been proven that you can teach yourself to be happier. So I think that's an important part of growth, that when it's really toxic,
And you are asked to change beyond your value. That is when it's zero tolerance and very fast. You let things going on. Ah, it's okay. You become a frog in boiling water. And when I interviewed for my research, 10 of the people I researched out of 15 talked about being a frog in boiling water, the same sentence. So there's something about that, right? You need to be careful.
You need to react fast. If it doesn't make you feel comfortable, it's wrong. And that's it. You need to stop it in the bud.
So give us a couple other of the strategies that you have in the book that could help people who are looking for more happiness or how can they create some more happiness in their work and work lives?
OK, so the first one, as I mentioned, is focus on your strengths. If you're in a workplace where you are not able to bring your strengths to work every single day, you're not in the right place. And we know that. We know people that operate from strengths are two times more likely to succeed. And yes, we also know that only 17% of managers said they bring to life their strengths every day.
So that would be the number one. If you only remember one thing from today, it's operate from strengths. You know, that's where you find your passion for your work. The second is really having a growth mindset. Having a growth mindset is asking for directions, okay? Is learning to fail or failing to learn. Failing is good. It's okay. It builds resilience, okay? So don't carry it as a badge.
It doesn't mean you're a failure. It just means you failed some specific skill that you still need to acquire. So the more you can develop a growth mindset, the more you can grow. The third element, and really an important one, especially for women, is self-care. And I talk about, you know, the physical dimension, right? Taking time to breathe, taking time to eat properly.
We have more neurons in our gut than anywhere else. Taking time to sleep, recover, digitally detox. Okay, this is a big one these days. Working from home is insane when we don't shut off. And Boston Group Consulting did this amazing research where they forced employees to take an afternoon a week of digital detox and they saw productivity go up by 74%. Wow.
People are going to want that research to introduce to their bosses ASAP.
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