Dame Wilburn

And that's when it started.

I began to come up with a plot that would extend the time between the time I graduated and the time my mother, the dragon, found out that I hadn't graduated.

Which means I've got a problem.

while I'm sitting here in this chair.

Now, I don't know how many of you have run a con, but if you're running a con, evidence is bad.

Holding it is worse.

And I'm holding something that's empty.

So I need a Hail Mary pass.

That's when I look to the young lady next to me and I see that she has a form letter that says the reason she didn't get her diploma is because she didn't pay her last bill.

I take this out of her hand, put it in my diploma holder, throw my hat up into the sky, and celebrate my graduation.

Now, I walk outside and I get into the parking lot and my mother makes a beeline for me and snatches that holder off from under my arm because she can smell blood in the water.

She opens it up, reads it, and says,

Makes sense, and we go off to dinner, and baby, it was beautiful.

I now have a little time on my hands, but here's one of my issues now.

I can't go home, because under her direct gaze, I'm gonna crack, okay?

So I told her, well, I'm gonna work campus security for the summer, and then when I come home in the fall, I'll get a job.

Now, the key to a good lie is that it's got some truth in it.

I'm a campus security officer.

At least I was until I had an administrator and a police officer knock on my dorm door.

OK, now the word they use is embezzlement.