Dan Harris

This is the 10% Happier Podcast.

I'm Dan Harris.

Hello, everybody.

How we doing?

Do you ever wonder why you click with some people and not others or why some people are attractive to you either romantically or as a colleague or as a friend and other people just are kind of repellent?

And similarly, why some people just don't seem to like you?

The answer to all of these questions has to do with a concept called interpersonal synchrony.

which is basically the mind-blowing fact that we are constantly and subconsciously mirroring the people around us, syncing with the people around us, our brain waves, our heart rates, our hormones.

It's wild.

Today, we've got a fascinating and very practical conversation about how you can harness interpersonal synchrony to your advantage at work,

in your romantic life, with your friends, et cetera.

And specifically, we talk a lot about a very common pain point, which is how to stop absorbing other people's bad energy.

My guest has a lot of tips for avoiding that problem.

Said guest is the journalist Kate Murphy, author of a book called Why We Click.

In this conversation, we talk about

how individualism and technology are working against our need to connect our deeply evolutionarily wired need to connect with other human beings, how much you can actually change your vibe.

how to read the room like a trial lawyer, the secret to bonding with other people, and I love this as somebody who hates Zoom, why audio-only calls are much better if you actually want to connect with the other person.

Speaking of audio-only, this podcast is usually available on video, but this time we did it audio-only specifically because Kate wanted to connect better with me via audio and instead of having to stare at each other through a screen.

Before we dive in, just a quick plug for my newsletter.

I think many of you know that I've got this weekly newsletter, but if you don't know or if you're not signed up, I want to encourage you to do so.