Dan Harris

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Forget that.

For now.

Well, unfortunately, this is an area where I have some experience.

I mean, what is grief if not love anyway, right?

So I think that's what my friend, Josh...

who in his 20s nursed his mother while she died of a brain tumor, when my parents got sick and he said to me, see if you can find the sweetness in it, that wasn't a toxic positivity that was, look, there's going to be, there will be diapers, there will be

like the shattering of your sense of security in this world, because I had good parents.

And so the fact that they are so diminished is, you know, it's paradigm shifting, tectonic plate shifting in a way that leaves me feeling unmoored often.

try to find the sweetness in it wasn't like, it's going to be awesome, dude.

It was like, what in there is sweet that you can focus on?

And the fact that I feel so much grief about watching my parents fade and knowing where this is headed, like what's under that is that I love my parents.

Also for me, just, and again, this might be a little gendered,

I don't think men, certainly not men in my generation and older are really raised with a big emphasis on caregiving.

So just seeing that that is a capacity that I have and developing it and seeing that it feels good, even with all of the stuff, you know, just being in the hospital with my dad, if he has to go and seeing them do procedures on him and holding his hand and you know, like it can be pretty gnarly.