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Dan Rather

Appearances

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

136.09

A string of murders that stymied authorities for years, the body count steadily rising, along with the heat on one city's police force. Women were dying. Were the police slow off the mark, too inexperienced to catch the killer? Or worst of all, did they simply bungle the case? All charges they vigorously deny. Their chief accuser in many ways is one of their own.

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

1479.465

How tough is it to catch a serial killer? Very, say experts in the field. For one thing, the perpetrator rarely looks the part, and since he usually has no remorse, he doesn't act guilty either. Most serial offenders are considered to be fairly smart, smart enough to at least keep quiet about their evil deeds in the presence of strangers, even if some may openly taunt the authorities.

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

1506.798

In Spokane, Washington, 10 women had been murdered in two years. After a painstaking investigation and sometimes painful scrutiny of the police, authorities finally got their man. Harold Dow picks up the story. This is Breaking News.

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

163.434

A former detective with a lot of miles on the homicide beat and a lot of baggage too. A key figure in another notorious case. Harold Dow goes inside the highly charged investigation of murder in Spokane.

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

2385.714

Trying to solve the puzzle of the serial killer. Serial killers are unique.

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

2464.017

Those who profile serial killers offer this chilling assessment. that Yates has probably committed even more murders than he's been linked to thus far. There's some very long gaps in his self-confessed killing spree, and the experts say it's unlikely a serial killer would go that long, a decade or more, between murders.

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

2485.601

Investigators in Washington state have been making lists of every unsolved murder everywhere Yates is known to have been during the last 25 years. But so far, aside from those crimes that have already landed him in prison for life, Robert Yates isn't talking.

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

34.986

I'm Dan Rather. A serial killer terrorizes Spokane, Washington. Did mistakes by the police cost lives? 48 hours right now. A baffling murder spree.

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

53.952

At least a dozen women murdered in three years, like Debbie's sister, Shawn. She loved her children so much. There were more questions than answers. This was our first serial killer case. Were the police overlooking clues in plain sight? Controversial ex-cop Mark Furman started turning up the heat. We're going, what are they doing? He is investigating the investigators.

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

80.977

It's like a body stacking up like cordwood. Then finally, police get their man, a former Army pilot and father of five. Murder in the first degree of you plead. Mr. Yates deserves to die.

48 Hours

Homicide in Spokane

96.766

But Furman charges the delay was deadly. Nine, ten women would still be alive. Did police mistakes cost lives? Isn't it easy to Monday morning quarterback? A 48 Hours Mystery. Murder in Spokane. Who knows more about pressure than a cop working homicide, always under the gun?

48 Hours

A Deadly Family Secret

0.69

I'm Dan Rather. He was a proud father of three, married to the same woman for 30 years. But when Bob Dorotek suddenly disappeared, the trail of suspicion led right back home. 48 hours, right now.

48 Hours

A Deadly Family Secret

121.978

This is the family that appeared to be living in harmony until one day, more than a year ago, when the usual peace and quiet was shattered. setting off a chain of events that would leave a family torn apart. Erin Moriarty investigates by following a trail no one expected to travel.

48 Hours

A Deadly Family Secret

1386.2

More than a year after Bob Dorotek was murdered, his body dumped by a mountain road near San Diego, his widow Jane faces trial. Although she firmly denies any involvement in the crime, there is troubling evidence to overcome, especially blood evidence taken from the master bedroom of the couple's hillside home.

48 Hours

A Deadly Family Secret

1406.957

She's been in prison nearly six months, unable to raise the unusually high bail in the case, $3 million. And Jane Dorotek's lawyers are weighing a risky strategy, one that seems certain to fan the flames of animosity in a family whose better days are but a flickering memory. Here again is Erin Moriarty.

48 Hours

A Deadly Family Secret

91.917

The ties that bind families together are so basic to our lives, it's easy, too easy, to take them for granted. That is, until they're gone. Nearly all families have their share of secrets, mysteries. But sometimes the burden of keeping those secrets can be so great even the closest of family ties can start to unravel. So it is with one family whose mystery involves murder.

48 Hours

A Cop Behind Bars

102.589

A cop behind bars.

48 Hours

A Cop Behind Bars

1461.755

The murder case against Patrick Bradford took almost a year to piece together, a painstaking and at times painful investigation for his fellow police officers in Evansville, Indiana. But by the end of a three-week trial, even some of his staunchest defenders on the force had become firmly convinced Bradford was indeed guilty of murdering his girlfriend, Tammy Lohr.

48 Hours

A Cop Behind Bars

1485.598

But now, nine years later, Patrick Bradford's family and friends still believing he is innocent are pressing ahead with their fight to set him free. They are convinced that police, feeling pressured, rushed to judgment.

48 Hours

A Cop Behind Bars

34.744

I'm Dan Rather. He wanted to be a hero, and to many he was, until he was charged with murder. 48 hours, right now. Patrick Bradford was cut out to be a cop.

48 Hours

A Cop Behind Bars

52.153

But when his girlfriend was murdered, he found himself the lead suspect.

48 Hours

A Cop Behind Bars

77.372

This childhood friend even went to law school just to help set him free.

48 Hours

A Cop Behind Bars

85.659

Susan Spencer has the first television interview with Patrick Bradford. Tammy's dead. Somebody killed her.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jonathan Haidt Returns (on the Anxious Generation)

117.689

It's been many, many years since we first had you on.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

309.806

Oh, you did? Other graduates?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

3359.616

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

3890.955

Thank you both.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

4004.21

Right.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

4108.33

Right. That you're closest to. Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

4177.396

Yes.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

4213.231

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

4662.16

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

4690.132

Great.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

5054.252

Okay.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

531.957

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

5904.78

Yep.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

5912.082

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

5920.805

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

6096.19

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rebecca Lemov (on brainwashing)

6288.144

Right.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

1499.833

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

1506.915

Sure.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

1599.689

Oh, this is heartbreaking.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

210.668

He's an object's friend. How are you?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

2477.912

What?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

2556.013

Oh, wow.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

3330.938

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

4315.085

Now watch out for those zombies with this new rake.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

4689.068

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

5543.084

I was told to stop saying it for exactly that reason.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

5762.226

Okay.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

6034.468

OK.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

6571.97

Okay.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

6757.049

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

6829.878

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

686.686

Oh, wow.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

7221.951

Yeah. Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

7400.1

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

7688.927

Okay.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

7696.354

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

7836.598

Oh, no. Which is possible.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Jesse Eisenberg

870.258

Wow.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

0.31

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather, and I'm joined by the Duchess.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1006.73

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

103.351

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1030.909

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1061.298

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1082.403

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1100.531

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1153.736

Ooh, so deep up into his rectum.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1172.139

And is it clear from the imaging what the object is?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1203.528

If you had to guess how many inches beyond the anus it was, could you guess?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1211.335

Three or four inches up there.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1214.978

He really had a long finger to work with.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1248.55

Oh. You kind of maybe got to fill air around it. You might have to be inflating basically as you pull it out.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

126.76

To get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month and to get the plan shipped to your door for free, go to mintmobile.com slash dax. That's mintmobile.com slash dax. $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1276.241

Oh, I'm going to guess. I mean, his bike is there.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1291.119

It would have to go back to get your bike. And also you just had a pretty massive procedure up there and you're going to now ride.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1309.221

I bet there'd be like a HIPAA issue. Like they couldn't call the next hospital and be like, hey, what was that? I think wouldn't that violate HIPAA somehow?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1320.571

I have an immediate guess. I think it was a bottle of conditioner. I think he was in the shower and he decided to masturbate and he thought it might feel nice to have this bottle up his butt. Now, when you think back in your mind of the image, could it have been a conditioner bottle?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1338.868

I take it all back. He was sitting on a picnic table having a nice cold... It was an accident.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1352.987

And I'm sorry to ask for this detail, but my assumption now is that the thin end was first.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1361.874

Of the soda or whatever? Yeah. No, because the cap would have had to have been on.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1367.898

No, he would have taken the cap.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1378.964

I hope he figured out how to enjoy that hobby without any further complications. If someone wants to do that and that feels nice, I'm all for it.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1388.676

No, that is really a cruel detail of the story.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1395.805

Now I'm double sad because he didn't have anyone to call, but then I don't know that that's the truth either because he might have just been like, there's no way I'm calling anyone.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1413.863

Well, Lucy, this has been incredible. I kind of had fingers crossed we would get something stuck up the butt story. You read about those occasionally.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1429.221

Based on the tone of the show, I thought this might interest you.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1438.503

Well, we're so happy to have you.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1441.584

And from the bottom of my heart, I'm more grateful for y'all than even doctors. I think the stuff that you guys have to do is just the most impressive.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1452.466

From the bottom of my butt to the bottom of your heart.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1457.929

All right. Well, it was lovely meeting you. And again, thank you so much for the work you do.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1463.613

All right.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1464.954

Bye, guys.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1469.437

The depths of my heart. The deepest part.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1475.22

You're hung up on bottom because we're talking about someone's bottom.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1481.575

The rectum of the heart. That's my point is we're talking about bottoms right now, like butt bottoms.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1496.01

From the top of my heart.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1499.353

From the left chamber of my heart.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

150.851

We are supported by Peloton. Peloton can keep your goals on track no matter what season of life you're in. Whether you're starting a new chapter or looking for a way to mix up your routine, Peloton has a variety of classes and class lengths that adapt to all the seasons in your life.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1501.535

Probably. Or Abraham Lincoln. I'm never going to watch that doc.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1508.562

No, I'm just kidding.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1511.823

How are you guys? So good. Do you want to use a code name? Let's go with the name Evan.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1517.367

Yeah, and I like the name Evan. Do you have a best friend named Evan or something? I don't.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1522.531

Oh, okay. So, Evan, where are you in the country? You can be as vague as you'd like. I'm just curious. I'm in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1549.226

Probably did.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1553.627

Now, were you on the hunt for Monica so you could explore something romantic with her? No, I'm actually gay. Oh, okay.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1561.129

I feel like that's more substantive.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1564.85

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1566.27

Okay, so you are a nurse, I presume? I'm an emergency room nurse. For how long?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1571.912

Okay, so you have a juicy story. I'm sure you've got many, but you have pared it down to this one.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1578.813

Oh, I do.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1599.606

Will you tell us about the levels? I've never heard it being described as level one or two or three.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

167.044

Whether you want to try a new type of exercise from cycling to Pilates to yoga, running, and so much more, there are a huge variety of classes to fit whatever you're looking for that day. Or if you just want to try a new trainer, Peloton has world-class instructors to keep you motivated.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1672.549

And is protocol to kind of, for lack of a better word, anesthetize them? Do you want to get them on some kind of benzo to calm everyone down?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1748.55

This is the worst kind of bomb threat, I'm going to say.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1856.823

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1873.537

Not that I've ever made that mistake and had my dog run outside without me or screamed his name repeatedly over and over and over again until I found him. Or you know to check that the guy who asked you out is an armcherry first before you agree to go on a date with him. Sage advice. Essential. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1896.858

You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the U.S. only. Savings vary. Terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Northbrook, Illinois. We are supported by Lenovo and Intel. If your computer could use an upgrade, we've got your solution. Lenovo and Intel have joined forces to engineer the best laptops in the industry.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1921.11

Cool, quiet, thin, and powerful. Lenovo Aura Edition AI PCs boast best-in-class battery life and astonishing graphics. They've thought of everything so you can focus on things that you actually want to do. Working in a cafe? Shield mode guards your privacy. Taking a meeting? Collaboration mode optimizes your camera.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

193.732

It is. The whole instructor part and the class.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1940.945

They also have a SmartShare feature which lets you transfer photos from your phone to the Lenovo Aura Edition PC with a simple tap. No more waiting for uploads. You'll get that photo on your computer in seconds. How cool is that? And if you need support, they offer SmartCare. Elite support teams will help rapidly resolve any issues and they're available 24-7, 365 days a year.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

1960.922

Whatever you want to create, It's possible on your Intel AI PC. Learn more about Lenovo Aura Edition AI PCs at lenovo.com slash aura.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

200.256

Peloton is everything you've ever wanted to try whenever you need it. Find your push. Find your power with Peloton at onepeloton.com.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2003.064

Evan, have you spent any time trying to get into the mind of why that would be satisfying? I can generally find my way into understanding people's motives, but I don't even understand what the pleasure of that is. Other than if I just had this total ire for government and I wanted to keep fucking up municipalities, I can't really get it.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2033.584

Well, they say that about arsonists, that they often are there watching the fire.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2072.277

Yeah, you're like the Marines. My first thought as someone who's always thinking about mechanical stuff is like, well, certainly among those 50 patients, some of them have to be hooked to machines to stay alive that require electricity. Are there generators that are put out in the parking lot or are there battery supplies on these carts?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

21.146

The Sharky Sharky Duchess. Yes. We need to do these more. We need to do these as regularly as poopy your pants because nurses deliver.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2140.011

Not going to live. What? We're not going to live in LA? Or are they going to shut down hospitals?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2144.659

Okay. I'm just not sure what thing we're going to. Just do it. We're afraid to leave LA? I just don't want to go to the hospital. Okay. Okay. We're knocking on wood because L.A. has so many good hospitals.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2156.344

Just do it.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2159.146

Oh, man, that is. Thank you, Evan, so much for sharing that story with us.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2172.051

Okay, I'm just going to ask you one simple question before we go, because the previous nurse we just spoke with said that every single nurse has a foreign object in rectum story. You don't need to tell it. Just do you have a foreign object in rectum story? I have many. Oh, well, yeah, you were in L.A. They always fall onto it.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2196.102

I was attacked by my shampoo bottle.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2217.631

Shit, maybe we need our own prompt. Oh, rectal. What was it called?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2223.476

Not objects.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2226.92

Yeah, he said foreign body. She said foreign body and you said foreign body. I just want to get the prompt right. Well, I'll submit another one.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2235.367

Okay, well, great meeting you, Evan. Thank you so much for your job.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2239.591

Keep it up. Thank you. We will. You too. All right, be well. Bye.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2257.727

I'd like to open it up to everybody. Because maybe someone will be brave enough to tell foreign body and their own rectum story. Because I want to know how you lose control of it. Because you must have a game plan. Obviously, you're only going to insert so much of it. And then you go too far. And then I guess you lose grip. Then you try to get it out and it just goes up.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2282.333

Oh, a bad actor?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2284.604

Can you hear us?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2286.745

Oh, beautifully. Is this Tori?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2302.028

I just want you to know that I was just on a trip with eight people and all eight of us got it. So I'm with you. I'm in the noro camp.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2312.771

It gets scary when you're pregnant, right? It ups the ante a lot.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

232.318

I'm going to go out on a limb right now. You're the first of four nurses we're going to talk to. And the second I saw your face, I literally was like, oh, right. Nurses are the most fun people on the planet.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2323.341

Oh, really?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2329.747

She is.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2333.411

Yeah, let it rip.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2343.596

I got to tell you, you are a second Canadian.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

244.889

Anyone that can see the shit you guys see hourly and be laughing and smiling. I mean, that's my kind of people.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

254.958

So goes the adage. Where are you at, Peyton?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

259.522

Okay.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

272.051

It's charming, no?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2742.194

Because he doesn't know what the fuck's going on.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

275.905

But a troubled past. Is that what you wanted to say? Or a beating around the bush that the most horrific thing ever happened there. Is that palpable when you're there or have people moved on?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2752.377

Oh. Do you ever get to see the people when they return to sanity?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2805.658

Wow.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2808.021

Wow. Was there any point having not had any family members in it and maybe not having the correct expectations for the job? Were there moments at the beginning where you're like, oh, fuck this. I didn't choose right. Or did you immediately know it was for you?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2857.44

Yeah, you have a finite capacity and then you have a real life outside of it. And maybe you're sleep deprived and maybe you're having a marital issue and you add all these things together. It's impossible. I will say it's prepared you nicely to have a child, though.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2898.79

Yeah, Tori, I'm so sorry you're feeling so ill, but congratulations on your impending baby time. And it was great meeting you. And thank you for telling us that story.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2931.511

Feel better. Take a nice nap now. And thanks so much for railing.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2935.532

All right. Take care.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2939.871

Chew your catheter out.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2943.973

Yeah, I got a little claustrophobic at the thought of a seven-point harness.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2950.115

That happened with my dad when he had this very massive head-on collision when I was in eighth grade. And I had to go to the hospital, and they said basically go in and say goodbye. He's unconscious. I went in there, and his head was like the size of a basketball. And he woke up while I was in there. And the first thing he did is pulled the breathing tube out.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2972.744

And I was begging him, no, daddy, you need that, you need that. Oh my God, it was so stressful.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

2980.227

God bless the nurses. Yeah, they're incredible. Again, round of applause. We love them. We love them. I love you. Love you. That delivered.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

300.791

Yeah. I'm going to add, I have another stereotype, not just about nurses, but I have a stereotype about Minnesotans. I would argue that Minnesotans are like Michiganders, but a little even elevated.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

3017.128

Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

31.774

Holy smokes, do they deliver.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

314.039

They have so much Scandinavian in them, right, that they're modest by nature. They hate attention and acclaim. So it's kind of the same stock as Michigan, but they have this nice layer of humility, I'd say.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

327.548

Oh, good. Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

332.144

Well, home of Prince. Any place that can claim Prince.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

335.028

Okay. I'm sure you've racked up many stories as a nurse, but you're going to hit us with one in particular.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

359.178

Oh, perfect. I just ate, this is great.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

369.369

Well, evolutionarily, it has to be the one where most repulse.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

37.485

It is. Boy, they go through it all. Heroes. Day in and day out. I love nurses so much.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

376.353

Do you guys ever put anything under your nose?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

384.337

Yeah, you did. Oh, have you tried that?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

388.422

Don't try that because I don't want you to choke.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

399.027

Oh, grandma.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

401.932

Old Monica.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

421.71

What's that?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

430.458

She really waited a while, it sounds like. She got through most of her life with this gap.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

44.971

They're just a party in their stories.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

465.114

You can see grandma's brain? No. We can see granny's brain.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

472.78

Bingo.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

481.329

Am I right to assume that's the last thing you want infected?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

52.477

Yeah. And positive.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

527.605

Stop it! Yes.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

532.011

Nurses have all the deets.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

539.596

Don't victim shame her.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

54.959

And funny.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

544.739

She said she likes to. She wants to make mittens happy.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

553.404

Well, they eat their face. Yeah, yeah. The cat got a little ahead of itself. I think the cat was like, Grandma's dying and dead, and I can't wait.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

56.3

To get through.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

591.971

Because someone needed to go in there surgically and get rid of this necrotic flesh and everything.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

598.078

Pull the cat babies out of her.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

606.663

Mittens kittens.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

624.427

And what was her spirits? She sounds very nice.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

640.053

Madness?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

641.253

Maybe you can say madness.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

646.555

What ended up happening to Granny? She got a room, obviously.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

663.949

Well, that's good. And would you have heard if she had passed in that upstairs room? Would they have told you? Probably. Okay. So I think all signs point to she's probably with mittens now on her lap.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

681.242

Peyton, what if you saw her boogieing down the sidewalk on all fours with the most agility you'd ever seen?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

690.889

What an experiment. I have a hunch we're going to talk to you again because I'm sure you were probably debating which story to even tell.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

707.139

That really puts a new spin on cat lady.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

709.481

Do you think that's Laura's dream in life?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

71.93

Rectum.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

712.243

To have her brain licked by her cat.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

721.989

Oh, what a joy that was. Thank you.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

726.592

Of course. Oh, you're as cute as they come. Look at the symmetry. It's completely homogeneous.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

736.541

And your teeth are that nice.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

74.792

Foreign body.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

751.235

Is there one moment that was your favorite?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

753.237

any anonymous but we just listened to the munchausen by proxy andrea dunlop i don't have munchausen want to say oh yeah thank you for clarifying well you guys don't have a child yet no you can still have it with a partner and but it's most common for the mother to be in the medical yeah we'll let you know okay keep us updated on that well again we were going to talk to you about another nurse story but it might be like tell us about a story of inflicting munchausens on your child i'll wait for that prompt for sure

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

76.613

Foreign body. We learned that all nurses have a foreign body and rectum story, which is exciting as all hell. Please enjoy Nurses Part 2. We are supported by Mint Mobile. It's time to leave your overpriced wireless plans jaw-dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. Get huge savings with Mint Mobile. They're offering any three-month plan for only 15 bucks a month, even their unlimited plan.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

781.411

Well, delightful meeting both of you. Good luck down there in Virginia. Thank you very much. So nice to meet you. Bye. Hello. Is this Lucy?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

791.658

How you doing? Have we caught you at work?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

797.203

And if there were any doubt of the validity to your claim of being a nurse, you are currently in scrubs, which really lends to your case.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

811.829

Oh, and where are you in the country?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

815.916

OK, so I assume you have a kabillion stories you could have told. Did you have a hard time whittling it down to which one?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

836.289

Farming accidents.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

846.391

Oh, like in the bush, you mean?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

851.477

Oh, wow.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

853.579

Who would have thought nursing could take you as many places as like a flight attendant?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

866.294

So this would be the one you're at a dinner party and they want to hear a story. This is the one you always reel out.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

900.106

Great. Because I was going to say the times I've had to go to the doctor and talk about something I just really don't want to talk about. I have decided I'm willing to tell this one person. In your mind, you've committed to that. And then you get there and you start realizing, no, I'm going to have to tell many people. And I hate that. Is that common?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

917.732

Where like they don't really want to tell you because they've already decided only one person shall ever know this.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

929.036

Yeah. we are supported by tropical smoothie cafe do you know what time it is well at tropical smoothie cafe it's always tropic time that's because when you take a break and taste the tropics with their made to order smoothies bowls and wraps every sip and bite feels like a little trip to a tropic resort I love this idea of Tropic Time.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

960.085

It's that bit of brightness and refreshment we need when the days are shorter and darker during the winter months. Transport me to a tropical beach with the sun shining and the sound of ocean in the background. What a dream. And Tropical Smoothie Cafe just released two brand new Tropic Bowls, the Dragon Fruit Bowl with goji berries and the Acai Bowl with Nutella.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II

981.434

Try them today and get ready for some Tropic Time. Visit TropicalSmoothieCafe.com to find a cafe near you. We are supported by YNAB. Do you experience excessive bouts of money stress? Oh my gosh, do I. Do you avoid your bank balance like it's a text from an ex? Do you feel guilt and second guessing about your spending? If you answer yes, you may be suffering from financial funk.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

0.31

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather, and I'm joined by Mrs. Mouse. Today is Crazy X. Tell us about your Crazy X. People have Crazy Xs out there. They do.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1098.312

Oh, my God. Now we're veering into psychopath territory.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1126.317

Can I ask you a question? And I don't want to victim shame, but it is always curious to me. And I just want to explore why people are very resistant to calling the police. Did you want to call the police? Did you call the police? Why didn't you call the police?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1163.455

I'm so sorry, ladies. It's so scary.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1202.558

Oh, man.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1293.556

Yeah, it's like a movie.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1316.952

Oh, he redacted things. This is so creepy. Hey, Jackie, when you were with him for the year and a half, did you get any sense that he was, like, unstable? Other than the, like, controlling stuff, was he dealing with other issues in his life in a bizarre way? Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1347.0

Sure. Well, he's trying to control you and you're probably pushing back and it's probably endless.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1374.679

Wow.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1379.684

It's a weird testament to the power of journaling, but here we are. I'm shocked he gave it to you. I would have thought maybe he'd want it for himself.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1394.683

And was that truly it? Did you never bump into him again?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1431.084

God, that's what makes these things so complicated and maddening. Like how is anyone to figure out which one will get over it and which one's going to escalate? And like you're dealing with something that's kind of illogical and already doesn't make much sense. And yeah, it must be so stressful trying to figure out like how serious is this threat?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1458.286

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1460.248

I hate how many women have these stories. I really hate it.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1463.571

Now, when the show Nurse Jackie came out, were you delighted or upset?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

150.41

Oh, my goodness. Look at this wonderful sound booth you've constructed.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1503.868

Heather, thanks for listening as well.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1506.431

All right. Nice meeting you. Take care.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1509.428

I'm a sweet pie. Yeah. I want her as a nurse.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1514.252

It is. You're just like in an innocent relationship in college and it turns into this horror show. Dude, someone trashed my apartment.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1522.979

I mean, they're not afraid of the law.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1525.18

I'm trying to think of the grossest, weirdest thing I've done in a breakup.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1531.204

You know, slash tires and smash windshields. No. Oh, my God. I was my worst self when I got cheated on in 12th grade.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1543.991

Well, I tried to fight the boy who fucked her.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1550.295

How dare you? I'm going to go to your house now. He was really good. He was gentle. He was really, really good. Yeah. Best lovemaking of her life.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1559.29

Nice to meet you, Chris. You look like you could definitely be in Leonard Skinner.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1566.134

You got a real Skinner look and I love it.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1572.809

Ooh, nice. I love how people from Louisville say Louisville.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1577.132

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

158.819

But behind you, too, there's a lot of nice sound dampening.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1581.256

Oh, sure, sure, sure. Okay, so you have a crazy ex, which is a bit of a relief, I gotta say, because we've talked to two women, and it's just... And they're horrific stories. Yeah, they're horrific, and these poor women are terrified. So if we can hear from a terrified man, that would help right the ship a little bit.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1624.512

Already, you're a much better guy than most. You're totally okay with that. That's great.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1632.347

Yeah, you respected her.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

164.085

Oh, my God. Perfect. How old's your baby?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

168.67

Congratulations.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

171.667

Does he smell delicious?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1727.622

I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Yes, you're right. I guess we're still together.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

176.43

It goes on for quite a while. Are we using your real name?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1790.943

So, okay. I'm going to, okay. Now I'm just going to let this proceed.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

185.296

And so you're not named after Carly Simon because you would have spelled it differently.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1892.458

Yeah, this conversation right now would be about visitation rights, not about where we're going to buy a house.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1926.647

Thank God.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1931.131

Right.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1952.537

So it's your buddies fucking with you. They're like pranking people from your phone or you're participating.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1958.319

OK, great.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

1970.641

Oh, Chris.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2008.222

Yeah, that's kind of.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2026.297

You're in your cleanest T-shirt.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2042.17

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2046.072

You got your hands full.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2059.238

Yeah. I feel like that's on a questionnaire sometimes. Like, have you ever had a restraining order filed against you? It's not like being labeled a sex offender, but it's not great.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2074.808

Monica's not going to like that takeaway, but I feel very confirmed in my fear. There should be professionals. There should be like sex workers. There's singular businesses taking virginity.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

210.009

I guess that's permitted.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2111.681

Well, Chris, it's a damn delight to meet you.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2117.869

Thank you both. All right. Take care, Chris.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

212.151

You like when people spell names. You and I have talked about this in the past, Monica.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2121.293

I thought a baby was going to answer the call when they pranked her. Oh, it's been nine months. That's what you thought the big twist was. And the baby answered and said, Dada? The baby knew his number. I thought she was going to threaten to hurt herself because that's pretty common. That can happen.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2140.742

People get really emotional and they act unpredictably.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2148.325

I guess the title is Crazy Acts. Fuck with you.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2169.867

If we did an episode where we got to air one thing about one another that was really inconsequential, but that we couldn't accept, would you know what yours would be?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

217.455

You like that, yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

218.977

Okay. You have a crazy ex. I mean, everyone does, but you have a crazy ex that we're going to hear about.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2182.016

It is. Lauren. Can you hear us?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2186.661

Yes. I'm going to take up two seconds of your time because we're going to have a real life thing in front of you, OK?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2192.047

So while it was ringing, I said to Monica, let's do an episode where we both air something about one another that's really inconsequential. We shouldn't care, but we want the person to change that. And then you answered.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2207.541

Yep, because it just happened. Why won't you put your phone on do not disturb? You know, it won't vibrate if you put it on do not disturb. And I hear it through all the interviews downstairs, and I hear it nonstop. It was ringing off the hook yesterday in our back-to-back interviews.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2224.61

I have suggested do not disturb many times.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2232.19

It's your turn, though.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2242.113

I love the way this went. But Lauren, do you do a show that is audio centric where like audio is kind of important?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2263.165

There you go. Thank you. But see, this is great and I'm open to it. That's okay. Tell me. I can take it. We're best friends. You know what it is? My great curiosity is, do you know you can do that?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2278.188

great defense.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2282.833

Are you afraid you'll forget to turn it back on to focus? Because I could remind you at the end of every episode.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2288.699

Okay. Are you glad you got to be privy to this? Because this is what happens quite often.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2297.768

Did you think you didn't have it? Is that what you were just about to say? Shut up. Okay. Lauren, you have a very nice closet. And I'm seeing some kind of snake skinny platform things behind me that are exciting.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2315.518

And what I notice you're doing, and I wonder, I want to ask Monica if she does this too, you have one shoe that points out and one shoe that points in. Is that what you do too, Monica? I do. Should I be doing that?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

232.916

What the fuck? We'll set the stage for us.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2331.691

Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, am I going one inch, three inch? Where are we at?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2337.577

Will you feel it's an invasive question if I ask how tall you are?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2344.385

That's lovely. That's a good height. Minnie and Mighty.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2349.264

Where are you at in the world?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2353.75

Wait, isn't there an Okie from Muskogee? Isn't that a thing?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2364.164

That's right. It's a Merle Haggard song.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2366.965

An oaky from Muskogee. Do you know that term, Monica? I've heard it, yeah. That's so good. An oaky from Muskogee. Wow.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2380.194

God bless those outlaws that were just singing it from the roof. You know, famously, do you know this, Monica? Willie Nelson, when he was invited to the White House, he went up on the roof and smoked a joint.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2390.323

That's pretty cool, right?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2394.545

Uh, Lincoln.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2399.347

I bet it was Carter. That's going to be my guess. Maybe Rob will figure that out while we're talking. You're right. It's Carter.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2407.849

Ah, he and Chip banged a doobie up there on the White House. That's great.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2413.611

If there was anyone who would not be bummed when they walked outside to see that weed smoking, it'd be Carter.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2421.815

Oh, it's incredible. It's really cool. Okay. Okay, Lauren. You got a story for us. You have a crazy ex.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2450.631

Not baby's daddy.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2467.484

Oil and gas.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2472.527

Dingles, dingles, dingles.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

259.87

What was it about him that tickled your fancy? Was he gorgeous or something?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2645.611

And a hard work in town.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2666.119

That's mildly comforting. We're not talking murder.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2680.823

They're at the bar and at Chili's too.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

27.803

I think I have one. But I don't think it was realized till after. Now this, I got to give a disclaimer to this. Obviously, this should have been foreseen. Obviously, Crazy X entails some stalking. So if that's an experience you had, this probably- Isn't for you. You want to skip it.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2708.351

He has nothing to do with this whole situation.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2744.306

You're an angel.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2793.232

Oh, my God. Lauren, what a plot twist. I don't know why. This might be unfair to people with this condition. But when I think of these flashers in the train, I can't wrap my head around. If I'm filling in the blanks, I'm assuming that person's the weirdest motherfucker and I would be able to detect that.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2823.194

I am very shocked he admitted to all that, to be honest with you. I'm surprised he didn't go like, this person pissed me off and I'm like, I'm going to show him my dick. Like, that's pretty wild he came clean like that.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2867.7

Yeah, what were your follow-up questions? You must have just been dumbfounded.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2874.464

They can't hold you. If they set a bail, they set a call.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2892.654

I've read that. What they're after is they like the look on the person's face. The shock. Did he say that?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2919.716

Did you, by the way, I would not be judgmental. In fact, maybe I'd even admire this about you because you could go like, yeah, you need to go get punished, but also you could have compassion for him. I don't want that condition.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2958.34

This could be potentially really heartbreaking, Lauren. Like if I was so in love with someone and I found out they had this thing, that would not be easy. It's not like I go like, oh, great. So now I don't feel all the ways I've always felt about them.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2978.013

I mean, you had a lot going on.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2985.439

Too much for me.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2988.142

Yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

2995.188

Keeping his pants on.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3012.044

Wow. I didn't see that. Delightful ending coming our way.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3031.572

Although, I will say, normally when you have to call off a wedding, you have to go like, yeah, I just decided I didn't want to be with them forever. But this is like so clean. It turns out he's a flasher.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

304.673

Wait, can I ask you one quick question? I guess this is maybe a PSA for dudes. My hunch is he was telling you how cool graffiti was and I'm going to crew and brother, this is awesome. You probably weren't ever that enthralled by it, but you're probably placating him like, oh, cool, hon. Yeah, pretty much. It's hard for us to know us boys.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3085.819

Wow. Pull up a chair, gals.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3105.796

I just might feel more in love with them than I actually was because I wasn't allowed to be with them for a reason that was out of my control. I feel like it's just ripe for that.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3148.635

It's not good. Let's add that to the list of things to fix.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3164.419

Well, Lauren, thank you for telling us that. And thanks for mediating our conflict at the beginning. And your story was so good. Now we're feeling good. Yeah. And me too.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3177.981

All right. Well, be well. Thank you so much.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3182.402

All right. Take care. Oh my God, that gal is so positive.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3192.807

I said part of my question was something insignificant you shouldn't care about. So I owned how trivial this is.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3203.894

Well, yeah, because it distracts me. I get worried the guest is like, who's ringing this? I'm going to answer that.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3209.937

They don't care.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3216.359

That was wild. We got kind of every variety of that.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

322.32

Like we're trying to tell you about this thing and you're being nice. And then we're misled to think this is cool.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3233.982

Well, no, no. I think the rule is pretty clear. It's would you stick around as they tackled this problem?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3247.245

That's fair. You would never stick with someone who's not going to address it. But if you love someone and they're going to work their ass off on this thing, I think you would stick around for that.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3256.247

yikes also if you saw the look on someone you love's face of the shame when they told you i do think i know that'd be very powerful yeah again it's all how they say it if they get like defensive and denying but no but if someone just has that moment where they come clean and they're full of shame i think the best part of us would want to help that person figure it out

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3289.492

All right.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3294.074

Focus.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

330.772

You get graffitied.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

3325.114

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

336.119

Can I ask how long you were together?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

437.967

No! Oh, I love this part. It's like the Outsiders.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

449.986

Now, this is a question Monica would never ask, but I will because I'm a boy. Who won and lost? Was there winners and losers?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

457.13

Everyone's a loser here.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

462.193

I just want to know if your valiant boyfriend prevailed.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

475.622

Spray pink hands.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

484.708

I was open to the notion you were going to say they had a tag off, like a dance off. Like they got to a rail yard and they're like, you've got that train car. We've got this one. Let's see whose piece is fucking better.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

514.21

It made him unravel. Yes. Well, in his defense, he doesn't deserve any defense. But boy, there couldn't be anything rougher than your ex going to your hero.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

534.068

impossible coincidence. How did it resolve?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

542.881

Did the fight resolve anything? Did he stop tagging up? No, no, no. Of course. It rarely does, I suppose.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

55.261

Yeah. Skip the first two. Just skip the whole fucking thing.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

556.454

That's a very freaky experience to be walking around and go like, oh, he was there. Oh, he's there.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

564.92

Well, what he's doing is peeing on things. Yeah. Like a dog.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

570.303

How long were you with the OG guy?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

575.807

Is your current husband a misfit of any kind?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

591.138

Did you ever hear through the grapevine? Did he outgrow his angsty shit? And is he an artist now?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

60.807

Go get a burrito and a Diet Coke and two martinis and kick your feet up. It's Friday. Enjoy the day off. You've got a day off. No homework today.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

619.4

You just gave me a great idea, Rob. Write down, have you ever dated a drug dealer? So you could probably do a different prompt. Like he have randoms show up at the house. Was he dealing out of the house or would he meet people places? And how much money was he making doing this? Was he like fly and had a bunch of around town money?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

635.408

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

643.012

Okay. He was dealing in like kilos and stuff.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

648.81

Oh, wow. How has it permanently impacted your association with graffiti? When you see graffiti, you just go like, he's fucking clowns. Do you like it?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

679.625

Yeah. Very immature.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

681.886

I find myself conflicted about it. I'll see some, and it's great. It is. It's art. It's beautiful. But then this happens more in Europe, particularly Paris. You'll see this incredible marble statue that is 600 years old in some arrogant... fucking narcissist spray painted all over it to get his own glory. It's got to be a him. And I'm like, those make me irrationally upset.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

708.289

Yeah, exactly.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

710.731

Well, Carly, what's clear from this conversation is you're a catch. Everyone's lining up. That's right. You're spending no time alone. So congrats.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

720.396

You went two, six, and then married. It's lovely meeting you.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

733.944

Oh, thank her on my behalf.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

744.871

Well, lovely meeting you. Shout out to mom. Thank you, mom. Keep consuming all those things. And shout out sister and best friend.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

751.996

All right, take care. Ooh.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

757.842

Do you want to look at my veins, you pervert?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

763.664

You're in a doctor's office, so my presumption was you like veins.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

776.788

Oh, okay. We're not preventing someone from medical care.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

781.209

Okay. Jackie, are we using your real name?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

784.91

Wonderful. And where in the world are you other than a doctor's office?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

791.831

We don't get a lot of New Orleans callers.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

803.675

It was Malcolm. Yeah, it's like becoming a woman's college.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

807.497

That whole area around there, the Garden District and all that stuff is so dreamy.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

815.402

Oh, wow. And where are you from originally?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

818.764

That's a big move.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

826.025

Oh, my God. Are you a Virgo?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

829.189

Girls. I love that.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

834.757

Do you find when Monica and I have dust-ups that you being the same age and a Virgo, are you always on her side?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

843.368

Okay. Okay. You're giving us a very fair shake.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

851.333

We got a big update today. And you'll even get a visual.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

856.256

Oh. Okay, Jackie, you have a crazy ex story and we're dying to hear it.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

868.595

You know, it's funny, Jackie, that you would say that as we've only talked to one other person and it immediately occurred to me, these are generally probably going to be stalkers.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Ex

924.725

And when you're naive, I guess there's some side of you that it's flattering, right? Like, oh my God, he thinks I'm so hot. It's dangerous if I am wearing...