Dan Savage

It had a kind of predatory vibe. I didn't go back. But I met a few gay teens that I hung out with, and a few of them had parents that they were out to, which was a miracle at that time, decades ago. And there was, you know, one or two whose parents were really aggressively invested in their kids gayness, but also in their identity as parents who were loving and supporting their gay kid.

And it felt a little leg humpy to be around them. And then there were the parents who weren't being tolerant, who weren't resigned to their kid being gay, but they were fine with it and chill about it and had said, I love you. I accept you. They welcomed, you know, boyfriends and other gay teenagers into their houses, but they were just really matter of fact about love support.

And it felt a little leg humpy to be around them. And then there were the parents who weren't being tolerant, who weren't resigned to their kid being gay, but they were fine with it and chill about it and had said, I love you. I accept you. They welcomed, you know, boyfriends and other gay teenagers into their houses, but they were just really matter of fact about love support.

Now go clean your room, love support. You got to do your homework, love support. No, you can't be out till three o'clock in the morning, sneaking into gay bars. They still parented their kids and they, Those parents who loved support and then dropped it and parented, they were better. They were better. We felt better around them. We felt more comfortable with them.

Now go clean your room, love support. You got to do your homework, love support. No, you can't be out till three o'clock in the morning, sneaking into gay bars. They still parented their kids and they, Those parents who loved support and then dropped it and parented, they were better. They were better. We felt better around them. We felt more comfortable with them.

than we did with the parents who were always searching for ways to telegraph to their kids who were gay, that they were fine with it. Fine with it. Love it. Great. Wanted to go like to the gay bars with their kids, help their kids get fake IDs, not just come to the pride parade in March, but like make their kids gayness all about them. And that's what I think you shouldn't do right now.

than we did with the parents who were always searching for ways to telegraph to their kids who were gay, that they were fine with it. Fine with it. Love it. Great. Wanted to go like to the gay bars with their kids, help their kids get fake IDs, not just come to the pride parade in March, but like make their kids gayness all about them. And that's what I think you shouldn't do right now.

I don't think you should make your kids non-binary-ness all about you. It's about them. And if your kid sees you get super invested in their being non CIS hat, well, you know, there's a lot of kids.

I don't think you should make your kids non-binary-ness all about you. It's about them. And if your kid sees you get super invested in their being non CIS hat, well, you know, there's a lot of kids.

You say your kid's really young in elementary school, a lot of kids out there who, and I might get into over saying this, but I'm just going to say it retreat into to buy themselves a little bit more time with, so they're not feeling pressured to date or,

You say your kid's really young in elementary school, a lot of kids out there who, and I might get into over saying this, but I'm just going to say it retreat into to buy themselves a little bit more time with, so they're not feeling pressured to date or,

do anything sexual they're not yet ready for may retreat into identifying as asexual or somewhere on the asexuality spectrum or retreat into identifying as non-binary to avoid the pressure to be masculine if they're assigned male at birth or adhere to feminine behaviors or

do anything sexual they're not yet ready for may retreat into identifying as asexual or somewhere on the asexuality spectrum or retreat into identifying as non-binary to avoid the pressure to be masculine if they're assigned male at birth or adhere to feminine behaviors or

matters of dress or style if they were assigned female at birth and just want to declare themselves Switzerland right now, while all of their peers are kind of leaning really heavily into masculinity or femininity or heterosexuality or sexuality. And so if your kid is doing that, you don't want your kid to hesitate in two or three or four more years to walk it back.

matters of dress or style if they were assigned female at birth and just want to declare themselves Switzerland right now, while all of their peers are kind of leaning really heavily into masculinity or femininity or heterosexuality or sexuality. And so if your kid is doing that, you don't want your kid to hesitate in two or three or four more years to walk it back.

Because mom and dad now are so invested in being the parents of a queer kid or a non-binary kid or an asexual kid or a gay kid or a bi kid or a whatever kid that now that they know themselves a little better, they're worried about going to mom and dad and saying, you know, this thing that you've made the center of your identity and what our family is all about.

Because mom and dad now are so invested in being the parents of a queer kid or a non-binary kid or an asexual kid or a gay kid or a bi kid or a whatever kid that now that they know themselves a little better, they're worried about going to mom and dad and saying, you know, this thing that you've made the center of your identity and what our family is all about.

Yeah, I'm not really that thing anymore, which is why I think you need to be chill and matter of fact about it. You can be anybody you want to be. You can be non-binary. You can be gay. You can be straight, bi, trans, allosexual, asexual, whatever. We will love and support you. And now you know this about them. This is how they identify right now. Accept it.

Yeah, I'm not really that thing anymore, which is why I think you need to be chill and matter of fact about it. You can be anybody you want to be. You can be non-binary. You can be gay. You can be straight, bi, trans, allosexual, asexual, whatever. We will love and support you. And now you know this about them. This is how they identify right now. Accept it.

You don't have to paint your house with rainbow colors. You don't have to make it about you. Just keep listening to and, as they say, holding space for them. and be chill. Be that parent that when we were gay and young and needed places to hide, be that parent who was just chill and matter of fact and still the parent. Don't be that parent who wanted to tag along with us to the bars.