Dan Savage

And if you require sexual exclusivity, can you trust him to honor that commitment regardless of where his not actually ex-ex-wife happens to be at the moment? Yes, this trip will throw them together in a way that maybe daily life at home doesn't. And so it might up the chances of some let's rub one out together or fuck the shit out of each other. For old time's sake, it could up those chances.

And let's worst case scenario this. How would you feel if that happens? Would you feel so betrayed that you couldn't possibly continue in this relationship?

And let's worst case scenario this. How would you feel if that happens? Would you feel so betrayed that you couldn't possibly continue in this relationship?

Okay, well, then maybe this guy isn't the right guy for you because there's always going to be this nagging fear in the back of your head that because of the intimacy he shares with his best friend, not ex-wife, that they could wind up fucking again at some point. And if that's really important to you that he not touch anybody else with his penis ever, especially her, then...

Okay, well, then maybe this guy isn't the right guy for you because there's always going to be this nagging fear in the back of your head that because of the intimacy he shares with his best friend, not ex-wife, that they could wind up fucking again at some point. And if that's really important to you that he not touch anybody else with his penis ever, especially her, then...

Maybe this relationship brings too much tension and anxiety into your life for it to be a good or healthy one. Also, I got to say, not to pour poison in your ear, but if she is his friend, best friend, they're not intimate. It's not a sexual romantic relationship anymore. Why couldn't you come on this trip? Has he introduced you to his ex-wife as his new girlfriend?

Maybe this relationship brings too much tension and anxiety into your life for it to be a good or healthy one. Also, I got to say, not to pour poison in your ear, but if she is his friend, best friend, they're not intimate. It's not a sexual romantic relationship anymore. Why couldn't you come on this trip? Has he introduced you to his ex-wife as his new girlfriend?

have you had these conversations with him? If you say to him, like, look, I'm afraid you're going to fuck your ex-wife, but I'm hoping we have a sexually exclusive relationship. What does he say? He's like, oh my God, I would never fuck my ex-wife. The sex didn't work when we were together. Like what comes out of his mouth? And is it reassuring? Or do you feel like you're being played?

have you had these conversations with him? If you say to him, like, look, I'm afraid you're going to fuck your ex-wife, but I'm hoping we have a sexually exclusive relationship. What does he say? He's like, oh my God, I would never fuck my ex-wife. The sex didn't work when we were together. Like what comes out of his mouth? And is it reassuring? Or do you feel like you're being played?

If it's reassuring, maybe you could take him at his word. If you feel like you're being played, maybe you should end the relationship. And if you say to him, like, I'm a little confused. I understand you've been planning this trip for a long time.

If it's reassuring, maybe you could take him at his word. If you feel like you're being played, maybe you should end the relationship. And if you say to him, like, I'm a little confused. I understand you've been planning this trip for a long time.

I was sort of hoping I might be able to go with maybe because, you know, it was already being planned when you met and to actually for you to go, he would have had to invite you after only knowing you for six months or seven months. And that felt too soon. Like if he said that to you, would that help you understand why you weren't invited?

I was sort of hoping I might be able to go with maybe because, you know, it was already being planned when you met and to actually for you to go, he would have had to invite you after only knowing you for six months or seven months. And that felt too soon. Like if he said that to you, would that help you understand why you weren't invited?

But in the future, you went on another trip like this with his ex-wife who is his best friend and not his ex-wife and Can't your girlfriend and your best friend spend time together, hang out together, bike through wine country in France together? And let him know that that's what you expect or hope in the future.

But in the future, you went on another trip like this with his ex-wife who is his best friend and not his ex-wife and Can't your girlfriend and your best friend spend time together, hang out together, bike through wine country in France together? And let him know that that's what you expect or hope in the future.

You know, if you're going to have a relationship with him and he has a best friend, well, then you're going to have a relationship with that best friend too. And if you can't, or if it's weird, if you'd have a relationship with the best friend, well, that That's the problem. So, I mean, I can understand why he may not have invited you.

You know, if you're going to have a relationship with him and he has a best friend, well, then you're going to have a relationship with that best friend too. And if you can't, or if it's weird, if you'd have a relationship with the best friend, well, that That's the problem. So, I mean, I can understand why he may not have invited you.

I can understand why he may not have spoken to you directly and honestly about why it's not fun in a new relationship to say to somebody like, I'm still not sure about you. Like, I really like you three, four, five, six months in, but I'm not sure I like, like you enough for 20 days to alone together with all my other friends on a European holiday.

I can understand why he may not have spoken to you directly and honestly about why it's not fun in a new relationship to say to somebody like, I'm still not sure about you. Like, I really like you three, four, five, six months in, but I'm not sure I like, like you enough for 20 days to alone together with all my other friends on a European holiday.

Too soon for that kind of invitation at six months. Maybe it won't be too soon at two years. Maybe the next time he goes on a trip like this, you will be included. And maybe hearing that from him now about this trip that you are being excluded from in ways that kind of make sense, possibly, if you think about it from his angle, will be more tolerable for you. Anyway, lots to think about.