Dan Savage

You obviously were kind to her at Christmas and this child, you got this child, a Christmas present, this child you've known for three months that is above and beyond the call of duty. And if you're going to be friends, that'll happen. You can also tell them that this is not what you want from a friend, a barrage of texts every day.

You obviously were kind to her at Christmas and this child, you got this child, a Christmas present, this child you've known for three months that is above and beyond the call of duty. And if you're going to be friends, that'll happen. You can also tell them that this is not what you want from a friend, a barrage of texts every day.

You know, who doesn't want 8 million texts in a day from me, my husband, my boyfriend, even if you were with this person, you wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of this kind of harassment. So yeah, just don't respond to her texts and don't take the bait. Your family gets on your grill about it. Don't be defensive. Just say, hey, I like her. Maybe we'll be friends. We'll see in time.

You know, who doesn't want 8 million texts in a day from me, my husband, my boyfriend, even if you were with this person, you wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of this kind of harassment. So yeah, just don't respond to her texts and don't take the bait. Your family gets on your grill about it. Don't be defensive. Just say, hey, I like her. Maybe we'll be friends. We'll see in time.

And change the fucking subject. But you're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. And you're also right about dating in your 40s. Sometimes you move on to a slightly quicker timetable. And you're right that three months in is too soon to introduce a child to not just your fiancé's family, but your fiancé if you've only been dating your fiancé for three months.

And change the fucking subject. But you're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. And you're also right about dating in your 40s. Sometimes you move on to a slightly quicker timetable. And you're right that three months in is too soon to introduce a child to not just your fiancé's family, but your fiancé if you've only been dating your fiancé for three months.

You don't want that child making an emotional investment in people who, given what we know about – how fleeting new relationships can be, and this is still a new relationship, could wind up exiting this child's life quickly. And a kid who's already... seen their parents divorce may have understandably some abandonment issues, which is why people are well advised.

You don't want that child making an emotional investment in people who, given what we know about – how fleeting new relationships can be, and this is still a new relationship, could wind up exiting this child's life quickly. And a kid who's already... seen their parents divorce may have understandably some abandonment issues, which is why people are well advised.

But of course, nobody advised your brother's fiance to wait six months, a year into your, as certain as a person can be. And there are never any guarantees that this person you're asking to meet your kid, to make an emotional investment in your kid and your kid to make an emotional investment in your isn't going to disappear in a month's time. We'll be there.

But of course, nobody advised your brother's fiance to wait six months, a year into your, as certain as a person can be. And there are never any guarantees that this person you're asking to meet your kid, to make an emotional investment in your kid and your kid to make an emotional investment in your isn't going to disappear in a month's time. We'll be there.

You included and your extended family included, your sisters and mom next Christmas too. And you can't know that yet. That said, you're not this kid's parent. And just like you shouldn't shame your brother about his past relationships, don't shame this woman about the choices she's made. Maybe she's sure this relationship is going to work out.

You included and your extended family included, your sisters and mom next Christmas too. And you can't know that yet. That said, you're not this kid's parent. And just like you shouldn't shame your brother about his past relationships, don't shame this woman about the choices she's made. Maybe she's sure this relationship is going to work out.

My brother-in-law proposed to his wife a few weeks after meeting her. We were at their wedding, which was three months or four months after they met. We were very disapproving. 20 years, they're still together. And so it worked out. It could work out. We'll see. A friendship could develop. We'll see. That's what you should say to your mom. That's what you should say to this woman.

My brother-in-law proposed to his wife a few weeks after meeting her. We were at their wedding, which was three months or four months after they met. We were very disapproving. 20 years, they're still together. And so it worked out. It could work out. We'll see. A friendship could develop. We'll see. That's what you should say to your mom. That's what you should say to this woman.

Look, we may be friends in time, but this is not how it's going to happen. And it will have to happen organically and on a schedule, a timeframe that works for both of us. And this forcing of it, this rushing of it, this doesn't work for me. If you want to be my friend someday, you need to knock this shit off now. All right, time for listener feedback.

Look, we may be friends in time, but this is not how it's going to happen. And it will have to happen organically and on a schedule, a timeframe that works for both of us. And this forcing of it, this rushing of it, this doesn't work for me. If you want to be my friend someday, you need to knock this shit off now. All right, time for listener feedback.

First up, some of the comments left on last week's show and the very lively comment threads at savage.love. Says Pushing Squares, Dan, regarding the caller who was getting unsolicited offers of cash from FinSubs and was worried it might be a scam. This is a well-known scam, Dan. The pay pig sends a large sum of money from a stolen cash Venmo or PayPal account.

First up, some of the comments left on last week's show and the very lively comment threads at savage.love. Says Pushing Squares, Dan, regarding the caller who was getting unsolicited offers of cash from FinSubs and was worried it might be a scam. This is a well-known scam, Dan. The pay pig sends a large sum of money from a stolen cash Venmo or PayPal account.

And then says, oops, I paid you too much and asks someone like the caller to send most of the money back, but to a different account this time, making up some story about why the original account is unavailable. The original transaction is then reversed and the caller is out the cash. So original caller, if you're out there, block these folks with proofreading.

And then says, oops, I paid you too much and asks someone like the caller to send most of the money back, but to a different account this time, making up some story about why the original account is unavailable. The original transaction is then reversed and the caller is out the cash. So original caller, if you're out there, block these folks with proofreading.