Daniel H. Pink

All right.

Not boost our self-esteem.

That's sometimes dangerous.

Not rip ourselves down with self-criticism, but actually say treat ourselves with kindness rather than contempt and recognize that what we're going through is part of the shared human experience.

That's one thing.

The second thing that we can do is we can disclose our regret.

There are a few things that are interesting about disclosure.

There's something amazing why 16,000 people were willing to share their regrets with me.

I mean, like what's going on there, right?

And the reason is, is that when we disclose our regrets, we relieve some of the burden.

That's one thing.

The second thing that we do is that when we actually talk about our regrets,

converting these kind of blobby mental abstractions into concrete words, whether it's spoken or writing, defangs them.

It begins the sense-making process.

And the other thing about disclosure, which is a dirty little secret that I'll reveal to all of you that comes out in the research very clearly, is that when we disclose our vulnerabilities and our weaknesses,

People don't like us less.

They actually like us more because they empathize with us.

They respect our courage.

And the final thing is to actually try to extract a lesson from it, to use this regret.

So what would you say, Lily, is the lesson that you've learned from this regret?