Daniel Pink

So once again, you have a choice. I can take the high road. I can take the low road. I can do the right thing. I can do the wrong thing overwhelmingly. Again, not all the time, but people regret taking the low road, doing the wrong thing. It sticks with them. And then finally, their regrets of connection, which are, if only I'd reached out.

And these are regrets about relationships that come apart and you want to do something, but you're too scared to do something. And your forecasting is off about how other people are going to respond. And so these four regrets are incredibly common around the world.

And these are regrets about relationships that come apart and you want to do something, but you're too scared to do something. And your forecasting is off about how other people are going to respond. And so these four regrets are incredibly common around the world.

Well, what we know from my quantitative research and what we also know from other research is exactly that distinction. So, again, forgive me for getting in the weeds here, but I did something called the World Regret Survey, which was basically a giant collection of regrets. from all over the world. That's what we were just talking about. That's a qualitative piece of research.

Well, what we know from my quantitative research and what we also know from other research is exactly that distinction. So, again, forgive me for getting in the weeds here, but I did something called the World Regret Survey, which was basically a giant collection of regrets. from all over the world. That's what we were just talking about. That's a qualitative piece of research.

I also did a pretty sophisticated public opinion survey of a sample of about 4,400 Americans, asking them a set of questions that you might get from Polster about attitudes to regret. That's a very large sample, 4,400, for this kind of research. And the reason that the sample is so large is that my main goal was to look for demographic differences in regret.

I also did a pretty sophisticated public opinion survey of a sample of about 4,400 Americans, asking them a set of questions that you might get from Polster about attitudes to regret. That's a very large sample, 4,400, for this kind of research. And the reason that the sample is so large is that my main goal was to look for demographic differences in regret.

So do women have different regrets than men? Do people with lots of formal education have different regrets than people with less formal education? I found very few demographic differences except for one. And that had to do with what you're talking about here. So in the architecture of regret, there can be two kinds of regrets. There are regrets of action. I regret something I did.

So do women have different regrets than men? Do people with lots of formal education have different regrets than people with less formal education? I found very few demographic differences except for one. And that had to do with what you're talking about here. So in the architecture of regret, there can be two kinds of regrets. There are regrets of action. I regret something I did.

Regrets of inaction. I regret something I didn't do. Action, inaction. people in their 20s had equal numbers of regrets of action and inaction. But as people age, in their 30s, they're more inaction, regrets, inaction, regrets. 40s, even more inaction. By the time you get to your 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, it's overwhelming. Overwhelmingly, as we age, There are more inaction regrets than action regrets.

Regrets of inaction. I regret something I didn't do. Action, inaction. people in their 20s had equal numbers of regrets of action and inaction. But as people age, in their 30s, they're more inaction, regrets, inaction, regrets. 40s, even more inaction. By the time you get to your 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, it's overwhelming. Overwhelmingly, as we age, There are more inaction regrets than action regrets.

There is zero. I mean, I don't want to think about this as like akin to the law of gravity, but in the world of social science, this is as close to a unshakable truth as you could possibly have, which is that over time, people are much more likely to regret their inactions over their actions. It's not even close. Inaction regrets are what stick with us.

There is zero. I mean, I don't want to think about this as like akin to the law of gravity, but in the world of social science, this is as close to a unshakable truth as you could possibly have, which is that over time, people are much more likely to regret their inactions over their actions. It's not even close. Inaction regrets are what stick with us.

It could be anything. If only I'd started a business. If only I'd asked that person out on a date. If only I traveled over here, which is a place that I wanted to travel to earlier. If only I had spoken up. The regrets about inaction.

It could be anything. If only I'd started a business. If only I'd asked that person out on a date. If only I traveled over here, which is a place that I wanted to travel to earlier. If only I had spoken up. The regrets about inaction.

I mean, give me an example of something that somebody like a Leap Academy person might regret.

I mean, give me an example of something that somebody like a Leap Academy person might regret.

Bingo. Okay, there you go. So, and that's a very common regret. And it's actually much more common than people who regret trying stuff and failing. It's much more common than that. There were people in the database who regretted, tried something, let's say entrepreneurship, it went south on them. They regretted doing that. But-

Bingo. Okay, there you go. So, and that's a very common regret. And it's actually much more common than people who regret trying stuff and failing. It's much more common than that. There were people in the database who regretted, tried something, let's say entrepreneurship, it went south on them. They regretted doing that. But-

I also did a lot of interviews and there are people who said, I tried it, it didn't work. I didn't like that, but I'm glad I tried. So let's say you have some, I had a great idea, but I never moved on it. All right. So we know from the science, there's a way to deal with that. So number one is how you treat yourself and that kind of thing.