Daniel Pink

Inward is basically how you treat yourself.

And as I've mentioned, the way we talk to ourselves in the face of screw-ups is brutal and cruel.

If you were to sort of implant in my head and like broadcast my self-talk out there, if I would do that in a workplace, HR would be intervening immediately.

Get him out of here.

This is a madman, the way he's talking to other people.

Yes.

So don't do that, please.

And here's the thing.

It's not only because it's not nice, because we have piles of evidence showing that that kind of—

horrifying, lacerating self-criticism doesn't improve your performance.

What does improve your performance is self-compassion, which is treating yourself with kindness rather than contempt, treating yourself the way you would treat a friend.

And when we do that, okay, so that's inward, treat yourself with kindness rather than contempt, recognize that regrets are part of the human experience, i.e.

you're not that special.

And also, and this is, I think, super important, is that it's a moment in your life.

It's not the full measure of your life.

And so when we do that, that opens the way to the second stage, which is outward.

And there is a very, very strong argument here for writing about and talking about our regrets.

It does a few things.

First, it's an unburdening because we're carrying something and you sort of say, oh, I got this heavy backpack on.

Let me just put it on the table here.